A Family Made at Christmas

by Scarlet Wilson

  His hands pressed together for a second on the table. Then he seemed to regain his focus. ‘How do you feel about that?’

  He wasn’t looking at her. Her heart missed a beat, then started doing somersaults in her chest. Part of her was praying he wasn’t about to suggest something more between them, part of her wishing that he would.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Her mouth seemed to go into overdrive. ‘That will be fine. You staying is what’s best for Finn. It will give you a chance to get to know each other more.’ She held up her hands casually. ‘And work? That’s just work.’ She narrowed her gaze. ‘We get on well at work, don’t we?’

  He looked a bit amused. ‘I just wondered what you’d say.’ He gave her a playful wink. ‘Unless I’m buying you hot chocolate you seem to avoid me. Now that you’re my emergency contact for Finn...’ He let his voice tail off as he kept smiling at her. ‘Thank you for saying yes. It means a lot. He knows you. He trusts you. I trust you.’

  She blinked. It almost felt like diving off one of those high Greek cliffs over the perfect sea. That sensational plummet. There was nothing romantic about this. No promises or intentions. But there seemed to be a huge amount of unspoken words hanging in the air between them.

  She’d thought he was attractive from the start. She’d deliberately tried to keep him at arm’s length. And her instincts had been right, because being around Riley Callaghan was tougher than she had ever imagined.

  Just being in his company made her wonder about the brush of his skin next to hers. It sparked memories of the hug—that she’d initiated—and the reminder of what it was like to be close to someone.

  She missed it. But it felt amplified around Riley. Because his company was so much more appealing than anyone else’s.

  And it was ridiculous, but an icy glove had just wrapped around her heart. After her feelings earlier around Finn it all seemed too much.

  Her mouth was dry. She stood up, picking up her plate and cup. ‘It’s fine, providing I’m free and available.’

  He smiled. ‘Planning any month-long holidays in the near future?’

  She shrugged. ‘You never know. Things can come up.’

  She kept her back to him and started washing up. The I trust you statement wasn’t giving her the warm glow it probably should. And this wasn’t about Finn. None of this was about Finn.

  This was about her and how mixed up she was about everything.

  This was about the fact that for the first time in a long time she’d started to feel attraction and a pull towards another human being. And it wasn’t just that it didn’t fit in with her plans.

  This was all about Finn. Just like it should be. The only reason Riley was staying in one place now was because of the unexpected arrival of Finn.

  He wouldn’t have stayed here for her. No, he would have been on that plane to Sierra Leone, probably with a sigh of relief and a smile on his face. Riley Callaghan would just have been a doctor she’d briefly worked with at some point.

  But was that really what she wanted?

  Riley appeared at her side with his cup and plate. It seemed he’d managed to eat the cold cheese on toast after all. ‘I’ll take Finn home now,’ he said quickly. ‘Thanks for looking after him. I appreciate it. How about I pick you up on Saturday and you can help us pick a Christmas tree? I think it would be good for him. He’s already said he wants you to come with us.’ He let out a short laugh and looked at her cardboard box. ‘Maybe you want to trade yours in? Or buy some new decorations for your hidden stash?’

  He had no idea. No idea of the crazy thoughts that had just pinged about her head and her heart. She moved into self-protection mode. She could do this. She could make completely inane conversation. She could find a way to make a suitable excuse.

  ‘Oh, I’m not sure. I was going to do some Christmas shopping. Try and get a head start on things.’

  Riley had already walked through to the main room. ‘Well, that’s perfect. You love Christmas. I love Christmas,’ he said easily. ‘You can do your shopping at the garden centre.’

  For a second she was stunned. She hadn’t quite been ready for that one.

  He pulled his jacket over Finn, picked him up and walked over to the front door. ‘See you later,’ he said as he opened the door and walked out into the foyer.

  April was a bit stunned. Her plan was to say no. Her plan was to create some distance between herself and Riley.

  She closed her door and sagged against it.

  She was becoming more confused by the second.

  * * *

  He’d almost said something. He’d almost hinted to her that maybe they should reconsider their relationship. What relationship? He wasn’t even capable of having a relationship. At least, that was what Isabel must have assumed since she hadn’t even told him about his son. He was still struggling with that.

  It was just, for a few minutes today, he’d looked at April sitting across the table from him and been overwhelmed by the sadness in her eyes. That was why he’d pressed her. That was why he’d been quite pointed.

  He liked her. He more than liked her. If he was being truthful, he might actually care. She was a good person. She was the only person he’d considered when he’d realised he couldn’t get to Finn.

  But even before Finn, even before he’d realised the enormity of being a dad, there had still been something about April. He could remember, as clear as day, that overwhelming lift he’d felt when she’d appeared in the pub and he’d thought, for just a second, she might actually have come to see him.

  And she had. Just not in the way he had hoped for.

  When he watched her with Finn it was like a little clenched-up part of him just started to unfurl.

  He knew he should only concentrate on his son. Finn had lost the person that he knew best. Riley was playing rapid catch-up. And sometimes feeling like a poor replacement.

  But April was constantly around the edges of his thoughts. And she had a shell of her own. He knew that. He could tell. She was doing her best to keep him at arm’s length.

  It was almost as if they were doing a dance around each other. He liked her. She liked him. Sometimes when their gazes connected he could see the sparks fly. Other times he could almost see her retreat into herself.

  And she’d hinted at something today. As if she might be going somewhere in the future. At least that was what he thought. Was she considering another job? Would that mean she wouldn’t be around?

  That thought sent a wave of cool air over his skin.

  He just didn’t know what to do next.

  The more time he spent with April Henderson, the more time he wanted to spend with her. She was infectious. And being in her company made him happy. Made Finn happy. He wanted to act on the pull between them—but did she?

  He already knew he wouldn’t sleep tonight. He’d be too busy watching over his son. It didn’t matter that, as a doctor, he would say it wasn’t necessary. Right now he wasn’t a doctor; he was a parent.

  He also knew that April was going to haunt his thoughts tonight.

  He’d watched her try to make an excuse for Saturday but he’d already decided he wouldn’t listen.

  Chipping away at April Henderson’s armour was helping him chip away at his own. He just wasn’t quite sure where it would lead.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  EVEN THOUGH IT was early afternoon, the sky was already darkening and the lights from the garden centre twinkled in greeting to them. Finn pressed his nose up against the window of the car, sending steamy breaths up that smoked his view. ‘Is this where we get the Christmas tree?’

  April nodded. She’d spent the last few days trying to make up an excuse not to be around Finn and Riley—each of them more pathetic than the one before. Her stomach had been in a permanent knot for the last few d
ays. Finally, she’d realised it was almost like being a teenager going on a first date. Mallory used to tease her relentlessly about it. April had nearly always been sick before a first date, whereas Mallory had walked about the house singing.

  And as soon as she’d had that thought, she knew she was going to go.

  She smiled at Finn. ‘They have lots to choose from. You’ll find the perfect one.’

  Riley opened the door of the car for Finn so he could climb out. The car park was busy; a group of children were crowded around the outside display—Santa’s sleigh being pulled by reindeers.

  ‘Look!’ gasped Finn as he wriggled free of Riley’s grasp and ran over to lean on the barrier. He stretched to touch the carved wooden reindeers. The largest one was just out of his reach. April looked around and gave him a bump up, so his fingertips could brush against the roughened wood. ‘I touched him!’ Finn squealed excitedly. ‘I touched Rudolph!’ April laughed as she let him down. Sure enough, someone in the garden centre had painted the nose of this reindeer bright red. Finn pulled her down towards him and whispered in her ear, his eyes sparkling, ‘Are these the real reindeers? Do they come to life on Christmas Eve so they can deliver all the presents?’

  April glanced conspiratorially around her. ‘What do you think?’ she whispered back. Finn’s smile spread from ear to ear. Riley was standing behind them with his hands in his pockets.

  ‘Come on, you guys. Let’s go pick a tree.’

  April nodded; she slipped her hand into Finn’s and he took it without question. As they walked through the main entrance she gestured to a blacked-out area to the left. ‘All the neon trees are in here. The real trees are on the other side. I wasn’t quite sure what you would want.’

  Riley bent down to Finn. ‘Should we take a look at them all?’

  Finn nodded excitedly. The area was encased by a giant black tent and, as soon as they pushed the curtain aside, Finn gasped. The tent was full of trees, all different sizes, all pre-lit, some multi-coloured, others with just white lights. Some of the lights were programmed, twinkling intermittently, or staying bright the whole time. Finn walked slowly from one tree to the other, stopping in front of one tree that was covered in bright blue lights. ‘I like this one, Dad,’ he breathed.

  Riley glanced at April, then bent forward and lifted the price tag. His face gave a twisted look. He turned the tag towards her and mouthed, ‘How much?’

  She laughed. ‘Come on, Finn.’ She gave his hand a tug. ‘Let’s look at them all before we make a decision.’

  They walked out of the tent, past all the rope lights for decorating the front of houses, and an array of illuminated parcels, Santas and white reindeers. The back of the tent led out into the middle of the garden centre, with tinsel and tree decorations as far as the eye could see.

  Riley blinked. He turned and put his hand on April’s waist. ‘Boy, Christmas is really a big production, isn’t it?’

  ‘And you want to buy a house?’ she quipped. ‘By the time we leave here, you won’t be able to afford a house.’

  The decorations were all organised by colour. Finn made his way over to the red ones, his little fingers touching everything that was hanging on the wall in front of him. April laughed at Riley flinching every time Finn stretched for something delicate-looking. ‘Let him look,’ she said quietly. ‘It’s part of the fun.’

  Riley rolled his eyes. ‘I can see me leaving here with an enormous bill and not a single thing to show for it.’

  She shook her head. ‘Don’t worry; they’re used to children.’

  They spent nearly an hour, Finn running between the coloured displays then back into the tented area. Finally, April pointed to outside. ‘Do you want to go and see the real Christmas trees?’

  Finn nodded and slipped his hand into hers. Her heart swelled. It was ridiculous—it didn’t mean anything. But the warmth of that little hand in hers sent a whole wave of emotions circling around her body.

  Riley held the door and they headed outside. In the space of an hour, the last elements of light had gone, leaving the perfect backdrop for viewing the real Christmas trees, which were planted in lines and all currently topped with a dusting of snow.

  April sucked in a breath. ‘Well, this is definitely the place to pick a Christmas tree.’

  Riley brushed against her. ‘I think you could be right.’

  Finn’s hand slipped from hers and he ran yelling down the middle of the path. ‘This is great!’ he shouted, holding out his hands to brush against the trees.

  ‘Eek!’ April took off after him and swept her arms around him. ‘Watch out—you might damage some of the trees. And you’ve not picked your own yet.’

  He looked a little disappointed, his head turning from side to side. ‘But how do you pick a tree?’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘What’s the strange smell?’

  Riley laughed. ‘It’s all the trees. Haven’t you had a real one before?’

  Finn shook his head, so Riley knelt down in front of him. ‘Well, now is the time to decide. Do you want a light-up tree from inside, or a real one from outside?’

  Finn looked confused. ‘Does the real one go in the garden, or go in the house?’

  ‘It goes in the house.’

  He touched the nearest tree. ‘But if we pick one of these does that mean our Christmas tree has no lights?’

  Riley shook his head. ‘We just buy some lights separately. We need to buy some Christmas baubles too.’

  Finn looked thoughtful. He started to walk in amongst the row of trees again. April and Riley exchanged glances and followed him around. There were plenty of other families at the garden centre picking Christmas trees. April realised that people would assume the same about them—that they were a family. Her heart gave a squeeze as she realised how much she’d wished for something like this.

  Riley was confusing. It was clear he was trying his best with Finn. It was clear he was learning along the way. And so was she.

  She couldn’t work out in her head how she felt about all this. She’d been attracted to Riley from the start, but he was only there for a short time and she hadn’t been in a place to begin a relationship.

  Now, he was staying. And she wasn’t entirely sure how happy he was about it. It was clear he loved his son. But his career plans had just been halted abruptly.

  And the constant lingering looks made her wonder what else there could be between them. Riley was flirtatious. He hadn’t mentioned any significant long-term relationships in the past. Who knew what he’d want in the future?

  She hadn’t even revealed her health issues to him. It was quite likely that Riley might see his future with more children in it. That couldn’t happen with her.

  She had surgery to go through. There would always be that threat of cancer somewhere in the background.

  That could be true for a lot of people. She was well aware that one in three adults in the UK would develop cancer at some point in their lives. But, even with surgery, chances were her odds would be higher.

  The long and short of it was that she was a risk.

  Finn had already lost a parent. Was it fair she might even consider being a part of his life—even as a friend?

  As for Riley... She squeezed her eyes closed for a second. Finn was running around a Christmas tree now. He seemed to have picked his favourite. And Riley was joining in and chasing him around.

  Her heart ached. She liked this man far more than she should. He was a charmer. Last thing he needed in his life was a woman with a potential ticking cancer and no ability to have children.

  There was a real pang deep inside as she watched Finn. Another woman was standing to her side with a small curly-haired girl, and her stomach swollen. April turned away quickly. She didn’t want to get emotional. Since she’d made her decision about the surgery it seemed as if the wor
ld was full of pregnant women.

  It felt as if the number of female staff she worked with who’d announced they were pregnant recently had doubled. It could be that there was something in the air. Or it could be that she was noticing more, and becoming more sensitive to it.

  She gritted her teeth. Her decision would give her a better chance at life. A life she should embrace. A life she would live on behalf of herself, and her sister.

  ‘Okay?’ Riley came up behind her, his breath visible in the cold air, his cheeks tinged red and his eyes shining. He caught the expression on her face. ‘What’s wrong?’

  She shook her head. ‘Nothing. Nothing at all. Are you done?’

  He gestured with his hand towards the tree Finn was still dancing around. ‘We’ve picked our tree. I’ve spoken to the sales guy. They’ll deliver it. We just need to pick some decorations.’

  For a second she thought she might have to paste a smile on her face. But she didn’t. The warm feeling of being around Riley and Finn was spreading through her stomach and up towards other parts.

  ‘Great. Let’s get back inside.’ She rubbed her hands together.

  Riley looked down and closed his hands over hers, rubbing them with his own. ‘Are you cold? Sorry, I didn’t think.’

  The gentle heat from his hands was so personal. So unexpected. He smiled as he did it for a few seconds. ‘I should buy you some gloves.’ He pulled his hands away and turned back to Finn. ‘Come on, Finn. April’s getting cold. Come and pick some lights.’

  Finn turned at his father’s shout and ran straight to them. ‘What colour? What colour will we get?’

  Riley slid his hand around Finn’s shoulders. ‘Well, you get to pick. I don’t have any decorations yet, so you can pick your favourite.’

  She followed them back into the darkened area. The lights twinkled all around them. It wasn’t just lights. There was a whole array of illuminated animals at their feet, and a whole Christmas village on a table too. April wandered over. She knew as soon as Riley was at her back as she could smell his woody aftershave. ‘What are you looking at?’ he whispered.