A Heart of Shame (The Redemption Saga Book 2)

by Kristen Banet

  “Of course I can ride a horse,” Quinn growled, shaking his head.

  Before they left the living room, Elijah looked back at the three he was leaving with his Ma. He chuckled as Sawyer shifted uncomfortably, and his ma noted how tall she was and how ‘pretty’. Zander was snickering on another couch while Jasper covered his mouth, sinking into the cushions where Sawyer couldn’t see him trying not to laugh.

  “Ma, that’s Sawyer. The two dumb nuts on the couch are Zander, the red head, and Jasper, the blond. Have fun with them. They’re all orphans, so if you could spoil them, that would be nice.”

  “Damn you, Elijah,” Sawyer glared at him, and he laughed as his ma smacked her arm.

  “Language,” Ma reminded her. Elijah stuck his tongue out at Sawyer as she slid off the side of the arm chair she was on and landed on the seat.

  “Yeah, Sawyer, language.” Zander chuckled.

  “Go on.” Ma waved him away. “Go see your father. I kept telling him he should see you sooner, but… he’s a stubborn man, Eli.”

  “I know, Ma. If we leave immediately when we get back, it’s not your fault.” Elijah told her, smiling kindly. She was a good mom, always had been. She just loved her husband and never wanted to fight with him, which lead to Elijah being thrown out with no one to defend him. He wasn’t sure he could forgive it, but looking back, he had survived, and then thrived in the IMPO.

  He would get over it to know her again.

  Now, he needed to know about the man he knew as his father.

  He led Vincent and Quinn to the barn about five minutes from the house. Once inside, he taught them how to saddle up, adjusting the stirrups. He knew Quinn could ride, but Elijah quickly discovered it was bareback with hand-made reins, so Elijah had to teach him how to set everything up.

  “Eli, huh?” Vincent questioned, smiling at him. Elijah groaned.

  “Yeah, only she’s ever used it,” Elijah mumbled. “Moms, you know? Got to either-”

  “Vinny was my mother’s nickname for me. Antonio only started using it just to bother me,” Vincent chuckled.

  “Antonio now?” Elijah raised his eyebrows at Vin, who nodded.

  “Yeah,” Vincent sighed.

  Elijah didn’t say anything else on that point. Whatever name used, Antonio or Axel, the man was still a monster. He was still the guy who haunted Sawyer’s and Vincent’s nightmares. But, Elijah could imagine a few reasons why Vincent was deciding to use his brother’s real name and not the name he had cultivated as a world-wide criminal power.

  They rode out together, after Elijah helped Vincent up on his horse. He was strangely surprised that the well-travelled, and once incredibly wealthy, Vincent Castello had never ridden a horse.

  “How long is this ride?” Quinn asked, bringing the mare alongside the gelding Elijah was on.

  “Fifteen minutes to the creek. We’ll follow it north along the fence until we find where he’s working.” Elijah told him. “Thanks for leaving Shade and Scout at the Explorers. The cattle and horses wouldn’t have been able to tolerate them.”

  “You’re welcome,” was all Quinn said back.

  They rode in silence, hitting the creek and turning north to follow the fence line. Elijah kept the pace slow, seeing no reason to rush, and he didn’t want to work the horses that hard. It was another ten minutes before Elijah saw his father wrapping wiring around a post. He was nearly done, it seemed. Elijah pulled to a stop and watched for a moment.

  “Stay here,” Elijah urged to the guys before moving closer to his father. They had already been moving closer and Elijah wanted a moment to do this on his own.

  Elijah got his coloring from his mother, but he got the rest from his father. Michael Grant. His father was a huge man, looking to be nearly three hundred pounds of muscle and height. He was broad, like Elijah. Elijah knew he’d pulled out a couple inches taller, now, but that didn’t make his father any less intimidating.

  He swung off the bay gelding and walked the horse to the fence and tied it off. His father hadn’t noticed him just yet.

  “Pa?” Elijah called out, causing his father to jump, startled. The brown eyes of his pa turned to him, and he watched his father’s eyes widen.

  “Elijah, my boy,” he gasped. “What are you doing out here?”

  “Back in the area on work, wanted to stop by,” Elijah answered, walking closer. “Ma said you were out here, so I wanted to come out and help.”

  “Well, uh.” his father gestured to the post, “I’m done.”

  “I see that,” Elijah sighed, nodding.

  “So, why did you want to come visit?”

  “I wanted to talk to you,” Elijah admitted, leaning on a fence post about five feet away from his father. He nodded towards the old grey pickup, his dad’s truck. “I see you brought the truck out.”

  “I see you brought out the horses,” Pa pointed out.

  Silence fell as things between Elijah and his pa got awkward. He didn’t really know what to say. How did he ask his father the questions he needed answers to?

  “Sir?” Vincent called out. Elijah looked back and smiled. Quinn must have helped Vincent off the horse because they were both walking closer now, leading their horses with them.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m Vincent Castello, Elijah’s team leader with the International Magi Police Organization,” Vincent introduced himself and extended a hand as he got close to Elijah’s father. Elijah was happy to see them shake, even if it was a short one. “We were up in Albany on a case. It’ll be all over the news in the next day or so.”

  “So, you decided to stop by and see me and your mother before you left again?” His father turned to him and Elijah sighed.

  “Yes and no,” Elijah admitted softly. “Pa, did you know Sheriff Stevenson?”

  “I did… A long time ago.” Michael sighed. “You met him?”

  “He was the leader of an Anti-Magi group up in Albany and the surrounding area,” Vincent cut in. Quinn moved to Elijah’s side and stayed close.

  “God’s Will,” Michael confirmed, nodding. “He’s been a member of that group for… decades. Harmless folk, just angry for no reason. Spread all over the state, bunch of different chapters.”

  “Pa,” Elijah growled, frustrated by that. Harmless. There was nothing harmless about it. “Stevenson is a Magi and now he’s going to jail. And he wore a ring, denoting that he was a leader of the group in that area. And I’m here because I remember you and Ma telling me you were never Anti-Magi… but you have one of those rings.”

  Michael shuffled uncomfortably so Elijah continued.

  “You know, I didn’t want to come down and visit. Saw no reason to come back here and reopen old wounds, but I need to know, Pa. Those guys were helping a… they were helping someone kill off Magi around Albany and Abilene. A family in Acampo. A four-year-old girl, Pa. A religious purge.”

  “I… I was young and stupid, Elijah. When I was a member… a chapter leader, we weren’t like that…” Michael looked away from them. “Just good Christians looking for a place and community to vent about Magi. I thought Magi were stealing jobs, using magic to fix their problems, making it harder on us non-Magi to get work and do well. Then your mother and I had you. I was already on the outs with God’s Will. I was not willing to become as fanatic as the rest of them. I was fine with having people to vent to, fine with people not really liking each other, but the organization began turning down a road I didn’t want to travel. I stepped down, let someone else take over.”

  “Seriously?” Elijah pressed, crossing his arms. “That’s all you have to say?”

  “Look, boy,” Michael growled at him. “People make mistakes. I was a part of something I now regret, and I’ve done stupid things. I’m old enough now to admit that. Son, I knew I was wrong for throwing you out the moment I did it. You love who you love, but I was too bull-headed to admit it. Then that business right before you graduated… and you disappeared. Elijah, my heart was broken for you. You graduate
d, and you left. I didn’t know how to get in touch with you. And you never came back. You just never came back, and I’ve held on to that guilt for… years.”

  “So… you still mad at me?” Elijah asked. He met his father’s eyes and watched the older man shake his head. He could let an old guy move on from the mistakes of youth and pride. He was willing to rebuild, if his father was. Elijah could only look forward. The past was in the past, if they were both willing to leave it there. It wasn’t his father’s fault that Carter was gone, and Carter was the biggest reason Elijah never came back.

  “No, Elijah,” Michael sighed. “I haven’t been mad at you for over a decade. I’m just happy to see you. I’ve been hoping my only child would come back so I could tell him I’m sorry. How sorry I am for destroying our family.”

  “Could have fooled me.” Elijah chuckled hoarsely, looking down at his own boots to hide the tears in his eyes. Fuck, he hadn’t been expecting this. An argument or something, but not this. He’d been expecting another Sheriff Stevenson, another stubborn, awful man.

  But this was his father, and Michael Grant was offering an apology, an explanation. Elijah would accept it.

  “I ain’t never been good at this stuff, boy,” Michael groaned. A moment of silence. “So, who’s your other friend?”

  “Quinn Judge,” Quinn spoke up, finally entering the conversation. “The rest of the team is back at the house with your… wife.”

  Elijah fucking knew Quinn had almost said ‘mate’ and caught himself. Elijah chuckled harder. He felt lighter.

  “Ah, well, we should get back then before she gets them fat,” Michael laughed, smiling at them. “International Magi Police Organization, huh?” He gave Elijah a curious look.

  “Yeah, Pa. I’m a cop, now.”

  “We’re Special Agents,” Vincent corrected. “Not the standard regional officers and detectives.”

  “Oh, so you’re fancy cops,” Michael chuckled. “Like FBI or something.”

  “I…” Vincent frowned, looking towards Elijah. Elijah nodded to confirm, yeah, in the US, that would be the closest equivalent. “I guess so?”

  “Vincent was born and raised in Italy, and he doesn’t know too much about how the US does things. We don’t really work with non-Magi organizations that often,” Elijah told his father. “We’ll meet you back at the house. I’ll make sure the horses get settled in for the night.”

  “Alright. See you there,” Michael agreed, finally walking closer to Elijah. Elijah uncrossed his arms and they stood about a foot apart for an awkward moment. Elijah decided to end that, pulling his father into a hug when Pa had gone for a handshake, instead. It was strange, his pa needed to readjust to the hug, and they stood there, the sun dipping below the horizon for a moment.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t come see you sooner,” Elijah whispered, knowing his own avoidance of this town and his past had led to the unresolved problems between him and his pa. If he had come back sooner, maybe he would have never thought his father was like Stevenson.

  “I’m just glad you did,” Michael grumbled, holding him. “I’ll admit that I was ashamed, and I shouldn’t have been. You always had a big heart, Elijah.”

  “I love you, Pa,” Elijah mumbled.

  His pa’s answer was garbled, but Elijah knew what he said.

  I love you, too.

  Now, Elijah could worry about introducing his father to the rest of the team.

  And see what mayhem Zander and Sawyer were probably causing for his ma.

  25

  Sawyer

  Landing back in Georgia, Sawyer was exhausted and somewhat thankful to be back. The last time she had stepped off a plane in this state, she hadn’t been nearly so excited.

  How things change.

  It was four in the morning, thanks to their side trip to see Elijah’s family. She had been seriously touched seeing Elijah’s big burly form helping his mother in the kitchen as his dad had a drink and told them about the day Elijah got his powers.

  The team had decided to stay late, letting Elijah reconnect with them. Sawyer was kind of jealous. She didn’t have parents; no parental figures, really, until she’d met Charlie. Elijah was getting his back, slowly. He’d exchanged numbers with them to keep in touch. He’d also promised to call them once a month, at least.

  But Sawyer, even for that happy moment at the end, was happy to be the fuck out of Texas, and she sure as fuck never wanted to go back.

  “You going to sleep in the car?” Vincent asked her, yawning. She was concerned about that because she knew they still had a long drive back to plantation house.

  “I can drive,” she groaned. “Who’s going with Elijah?” She hoped it wasn’t her. Anyone but her, which was why she offered to drive.

  “Quinn. You’re with me. Jasper and Zander are taking the second Range Rover home together.” Vincent told her as they carried the bags across the tarmac to their ride. “I can drive. Took a nap on the plane, just need a moment to wake up.”

  She watched Jasper and Zander load up and leave as Vincent lit a smoke. He handed Sawyer one, and she decided a cigarette before hitting the road was a good idea. Soon, it was just the two of them.

  “I… don’t know if I should apologize for kissing Jasper,” Sawyer told him suddenly, since this was the first time she’d had him alone since it happened.

  “Don’t,” Vincent chuckled, flicking ash off his smoke. “You, Jasper, and Zander? You belong together. Though… I think Zander needs to quit being pushy with you, let it come naturally like you and Jasper have been.”

  “None of that changes that you and I… might have something,” Sawyer mumbled, looking at his face. She could admit it. They had an understanding, Vincent and her. They knew what it meant to love and to be twisted and manipulated into doing something they didn’t think they would ever do. They knew how it felt to fight to be good, to be better than they once were. Vincent’s fight was over. He’d brought his brother down and was now just recovering from it and the secrets that came forward. Her fight was just beginning. They both held onto guilt and shame over things they couldn’t change, and, even then, they kept moving forward. It was hard for both of them in different ways, but they kept moving, nonetheless.

  “No, it doesn’t.” Vincent sighed. “I’ll never tell you to do anything, Sawyer, not in this. It’s a difficult situation, and I’ll trust you to make a decision that makes you happy.”

  “Thank you.” Sawyer sighed.

  “How are you feeling about the case?” Vincent asked, meeting her eyes. She loved that his olive-green eyes were so much darker than Axel’s. It made them beautiful like Axel’s, but different enough that she could appreciate them. “You did it. You helped to solve a murder investigation with the IMPO. People will be talking about it.”

  She considered his question. She hadn’t, yet…since they’d caught Cory and saved Gabriel, she’d tried not to really delve into her feelings about it. A thousand emotions warred in her. Sympathy for a serial killer was one she wasn’t sure she was okay with. Heartbroken over Cara, Samantha, and Bucky. Heartbroken over Gabriel. Satisfied it was over before anything else could happen.

  And good.

  Sawyer felt good.

  Between all of them reinforcing this idea that she wasn’t bad, that she could do this, and then letting her use her own skills to help, Sawyer felt good.

  She felt like she had earned it. All of it.

  Their friendship, the chance they gave her. The risks they took to keep her with them.

  That feeling made her think harder about others. Like her feelings toward the team, the budding romantic shit in her heart that she wished hadn’t popped up at the absolute worst time in her life. They were complications to the precarious situation she found herself in, but she wouldn’t leave them unresolved.

  “I feel better now than I did when we left,” Sawyer told Vincent honestly. “Now, let’s get moving. I have a few questions for you on the drive. I want to know how you feel about
something…”

  “Let’s go,” Vincent agreed, stomping out his cigarette. Sawyer put hers out as well and picked up both butts, glaring at Vincent, who gave a guilty smile. “Sorry. I forget you’re like Elijah and clean up.”

  “Yup,” Sawyer grumbled, walking to the passenger’s side of the Range Rover.

  She let them get out of Atlanta before beginning her questioning and her own, well-planned speech.

  “I tried to kill you when we slept together, and I’m sorry for that,” she started, taking a deep breath. “Now that the case is over, I think we can talk about it. Since we have four hours alone… now is a good time.”

  “We shouldn’t…” Vincent began then shook his head. “Sawyer, try to kill me every night. I’m okay with that. But … Zander, Jasper and I had a talk.”

  “I want to ask those idiots if I can be with you, too,” Sawyer said at the exact same time as Vincent was speaking.

  Their eyes met as Vincent led them down the dark freeway.

  “Jasper, Zander, and I have already agreed that you can be with whomever, whenever you want,” Vincent whispered.

  “I couldn’t choose,” Sawyer whispered back. “And I’m not… I’m not in love with you, Vincent, but I think I could be. I think it would be easy and hard, all at the same time, to fall for you. I am in love with them, but those are teenage feelings. I don’t know how things will be as they settle with the three of us as adults. And I’m not sure committed is what I want to be right now, with other people.”

  “I understand,” Vincent said mildly, nodding. “And I’m not asking for forever, but I’m asking for a chance.”

  “I’m willing to give you one if you give me one.” Sawyer chuckled. “Another one, since you and the guys have already given me this chance to be more than a criminal, more than an assassin.”

  “Or vigilante,” Vincent muttered, smiling. “Now you work within the boundaries of the law, completely.”

  “Yeah, or that.” Sawyer huffed, grinning. It reminded her of Charlie, who called her that every chance he got. She needed to call him again when they got home and got some sleep. She would ask the guys if they could have a quick visit to New York soon now that she felt more confident in her place on the team and with the IMPO.