Terrifying Tales

by Jon Scieszka

  Word got around that I was a good magician. I started to perform at birthday parties for little kids and actually got paid for my act. I even did a magic act at my own birthday. My friends loved my card tricks and how I turned nickels into dollars and pulled quarters from their noses.

  As I worked my way through the instruction book, the tricks got harder and harder to perform. But I didn’t care. I loved it. I loved it so much I couldn’t wait to get home after school and do magic tricks for myself.

  So I’m sure you’ll understand why I went out of my head, why I totally lost it, when I saw the big blue-and-yellow poster in the mall. I was walking to the shoe store with my dad, and there was the poster on the wall next to the Burger Barn. I saw the name Alexander the Semi-Great on it in huge letters, and my eyes blurred over.

  “Dad, look—” I stopped walking and pointed with a trembling finger. “Alexander the Semi-Great is coming here. Check it out. It says he’s giving shows at the Town Hall.”

  Dad had a paper coffee cup in his hand. He took a long sip from it as he squinted at the poster. “Who is he?”

  “One of the greatest magicians on earth,” I said. My chest felt all fluttery.

  “Then why is he only semi-great?” Dad asked.

  “He says it’s important to stay humble,” I told him. “Dad, I have to see him perform.” I tugged Dad’s arm. In my excitement, I forgot about the coffee cup. It fell out of his hand and coffee splattered all over our shoes.

  “That was a good trick,” Dad said.

  Sometimes he can say funny things.

  I ran my finger over the poster. “Look. He’s giving a show Saturday afternoon. You could drop me off. I have to go, Dad. I can’t miss this. Seriously.”

  “Is he the guy who held his breath?” Dad said. “I think I saw him in a YouTube video holding his breath.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Alexander the Semi-Great held his breath for two days straight.”

  Dad laughed. “And you believe that?”

  “Some people think it was a trick,” I said. “But I’m not sure.” I tugged his sleeve again. “So can I go on Saturday?”

  “Let’s discuss it with your mother.”

  So here’s how it ended up. They said I could go. They would drop me off at the Town Hall and then pick me up after the show. But I had to bring Kevin with me. And I had to never let Kevin out of my sight for a second. And I had to be nice to him no matter what he did.

  Of course, I said yes to everything. I knew Kevin might be trouble. But there was no way I was going to miss this.

  Kevin and I sat in the backseat as Dad drove us to the Town Hall. Kevin kept poking me hard in the ribs with one finger and then tickling me as hard as he could because he knows I hate it. He snapped my nose between his fingers, and he pulled my hair.

  He was testing me.

  I didn’t crack. I didn’t say one unkind word to him. I kept a smile frozen on my face, and as Kevin tortured me, I just kept picturing Alexander the Semi-Great onstage with me in the third row. Yes, our tickets were in the third row. I would be only a few feet away from one of the greatest magicians in history.

  When Dad dropped us off in front of the theater, he gave me one more warning about taking good care of Kevin. I was too excited to answer. I took Kevin’s hand and led him past the box office and into the building.

  I had Kevin gripped in one hand and our tickets squeezed tightly in the other. Kevin kept trying to grab his ticket, but I kept it out of his reach. I knew if I gave it to him, he would drop it or lose it.

  Town Hall is very old and dark and smells kind of sour. I stopped at the first aisle and gazed down the rows of seats. I saw a lot of kids with their parents, a lot of kids even younger than Kevin.

  A dark red curtain stretched across the stage. Lights way up high in the domed ceiling cast a blue light over the theater. “This is the greatest day of my life!” I exclaimed to Kevin.

  “Can I have popcorn?” he replied.

  I bought him a barrel of popcorn. I wanted to keep him happy. Of course, he spilled half of it as we walked down the aisle to our seats. We were right in the middle of the third row. So close to the stage, I could almost reach out and touch Alexander the Semi-Great.

  Was I excited? I had to force myself to breathe!

  When the theater filled up and the blue lights started to dim, I gripped the arms of my chair so tightly, my hands ached. The show was about to start in a few seconds.

  Kevin leaned toward me and put his mouth to my ear. “Mark, I have to go to the bathroom.”

  “NOT NOW!” I screamed. I couldn’t help it. I lost it. Who wouldn’t?!

  “You promised Mom and Dad you wouldn’t yell at me. I’m going to tell them.”

  “Kevin, please. The music is starting. Please,” I begged.

  “But I really have to go!”

  I had no choice. I had to take him. I promised I wouldn’t let him out of my sight for a second. He was ruining everything for me. But what could I do?

  When we got back to our seats, Alexander the Semi-Great was already onstage. He was telling the audience that everything we’d see today was real. Real magic.

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head. There he was. Right in front of me. He wore a shiny satin purple tuxedo, a white shirt, and a purple bow tie. His boots were purple, too, and came up nearly to his knees. Alexander had long, wavy black hair down past his shoulders, and black eyes that caught the stage light and appeared to glow.

  I was so crazed, I stared at him without hearing a word he was saying. When he lifted off the floor, floated a foot above the stage, I gasped out loud like most everyone else in the audience.

  “Everyone has the ability to float,” Alexander announced. “It’s all a matter of mind power. You need to open up the flight hemisphere of your brain—and you can float, too.”

  I squinted hard. Were there strings attached to him? Thin cords lifting him off the stage floor? I was sitting close enough to see that there was nothing above his head.

  I lowered my eyes. Was he standing on a mirror to make it look as if he was floating? No. He floated to one side of the stage, then back, his arms lifted above his head.

  “Many have tried this trick,” he said. “But they all failed. Because this is not a trick!”

  Then he lifted himself higher and did a somersault in the air. The audience went nuts, screaming and cheering and clapping. I went nuts, too.

  I turned to Kevin, my heart pounding. “Do you believe it? Is that awesome?”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything because his mouth was full of popcorn. He had popcorn butter smeared all over his cheeks.

  The music soared as Alexander lowered himself to the stage. A woman came stepping onstage in a sparkling blue skirt and top. She had blond hair and very red lips, and she did a dance step as she moved toward Alexander.

  “Such a beautiful young woman!” Alexander declared. “Too bad I’m going to make her disappear.” The woman did some more dancing, then came to a stop beside him.

  “Most magicians would have her step into a box and then disappear,” Alexander said. “But everyone knows that’s a trick. I don’t do tricks. She’s going to disappear—for real—and you can watch.”

  He reached into a bucket on the stage and dug both hands deep into it. Then he held up both fists, filled with something that looked like confetti. “When I drop this over her, she will disappear forever!”

  He raised his fists over the young woman’s head. Then he opened his hands and the confetti came flying down. “Disappear!” he cried.

  She screamed—and disappeared. The confetti sprinkled silently over the stage floor.

  The audience was quiet for a long time. I guess the whole thing was kind of a shock. Then we all cheered and clapped and went berserk.

  And that’s when I got a crazy idea. I needed to go backstage and talk to Alexander the Semi-Great.

  I had twenty thoughts at once. Fireworks were exploding in m
y brain. At least, that’s what it felt like.

  This is what I was thinking:

  I’m a magician, too. Maybe Alexander would like to meet a young magician.

  Maybe Alexander would have some advice for me.

  Maybe if I begged him, he’d tell me if he really can make people disappear.

  I know that’s a totally weird thought. But if you sat in the third row and saw that woman vanish right before your eyes, you would want to know if it was a trick—or if it was real.

  Alexander finished his performance by diving into a huge glass tank of water and holding his breath for twenty minutes. I could tell he really wasn’t breathing. I was close enough to see there were no air bubbles coming from his mouth or nose.

  The audience gave him a standing ovation, cheering and screaming for at least ten minutes. Then everyone started to move down the aisles to leave the theater.

  “Let’s go,” Kevin said, tugging my arm with sticky popcorn fingers.

  “Wait,” I said. “I have an idea.” I didn’t tell him what I planned to do. I knew he’d whine and complain and say we had to go home.

  I pushed my way through the crowd to the front of the theater. I stopped at a narrow gray door by the side of the stage. “This must be the stage door,” I told my brother.

  “What are we doing?” he demanded. “Mom and Dad are waiting in the car.”

  “It will only take a minute,” I said. I grabbed the handle and pulled the door open. My chest suddenly felt as if a million butterflies were fluttering in there. Was I really going to introduce myself to one of the greatest magicians of all time?

  I stepped inside. Very dark back here. I could see a lot of sound and lighting equipment on the side of the stage. There were cables and wires everywhere. Down the long hall, I saw some rooms at the back. Probably dressing rooms.

  It was hot back here, and the air smelled like sweat. I kept swallowing, trying to fight my nervousness. “Follow me,” I whispered to Kevin.

  But a big man, tall and very wide, with a stubby brown beard and a wool cap pulled over his head, stepped in front of us. “I think you boys went the wrong way,” he said, hands on the sides of his gray uniform. “The exit is that way.” He pointed.

  “I . . . I . . .” My voice broke. “I’m a magician,” I said. “I just wanted to shake hands with Alexander the Semi-Great.”

  The man scratched his forehead through the wool cap. “You’re a magician?” He studied me.

  “Well . . . kind of,” I said.

  For some reason, that made him laugh. “Okay. Go ahead. Alexander is in the basement, putting his stuff away.” He pointed to a metal stairway. “Be careful, guys. He might turn you into rabbits.”

  He stepped aside so Kevin and I could walk to the stairs. Our shoes clanged on the metal rungs. Each clang made my heart skip a beat.

  It’s happening. I’m actually going to meet Alexander.

  The stairs led down to a big supply room. I squinted in the bright yellow light. I saw a row of dark lockers along one wall. Wooden crates were stacked against another wall. A pole of stage lights tilted against the crates.

  “I don’t see anyone,” Kevin said. “Let’s go. I don’t like this place.”

  “You’re not scared, are you?” I demanded.

  “Of course not.”

  I knew that would shut him up.

  I heard a cough. It came from a doorway at the end of the lockers. “Let’s go.” I tugged Kevin toward the door. My legs were trembling, but I couldn’t let my brother know how tense I was.

  Another room was filled by a long table. There were folding chairs all around it. I saw a tray of small potato chip bags on one end. And at the other end, a bald man sat forking up a salad from a large plate. He wore a black T-shirt and white basketball shorts. He looked up in surprise as Kevin and I burst in.

  “Oh. I’m s-sorry,” I stammered. “I’m looking for Alexander the Semi-Great.”

  He swallowed a mouthful of lettuce. “I’m Alexander,” he said softly.

  And then I saw the pile of long, black hair in front of him on the table. Alexander wears a wig.

  “I . . . just wanted to meet you,” I choked out. My pounding heart had jumped into my mouth. “I’m a magician, too.”

  “That’s nice,” he said. “But I’m busy. I’m eating my dinner.” He tilted the bowl of salad so I could see it.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, backing up. “I just . . . well . . . I do tricks, too, and—”

  “I don’t do tricks,” Alexander replied. “Everything I do is real.”

  I blinked. “I know. But . . .” I didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t going the way I planned it. I thought he’d be friendlier. “But you don’t really make people disappear, right?” I blurted out.

  He banged the table with his fist. “Of course I do.”

  I stared at him. “That woman on the stage . . . the one you dropped the confetti on. That wasn’t a trick?”

  He shook his bald head. “Not a trick. Want me to show you?”

  My mouth dropped open. “You’ll do it right now? For me?”

  My legs were so wobbly, I could barely stand up. Alexander the Semi-Great was going to do a magic trick just for me.

  He pushed his chair back and walked over to us. He had beads of sweat on his bald head and a shred of lettuce stuck to his front tooth. He wiped his mouth with the palm of one hand. “What’s your name, kid?”

  “Mark. But my magician name is Magic Marko.”

  “Haha. Very clever.” He didn’t mean it. “Listen, Magic Marky, I can do the disappearing thing. But do you have any money?”

  I made a gulping sound. “Money?”

  He nodded. “This theater pays lousy. How much do you have on you?”

  I reached my hand into my jeans pocket and felt the twenty-dollar-bill Dad gave me in case of an emergency. “Well . . . I have twenty dollars,” I said.

  “Okay.” He reached out his hand. “Give me the twenty and I’ll make someone disappear before your eyes.”

  I hesitated. This was definitely weird. I was going to pay Alexander twenty dollars to perform a trick? It didn’t seem right, but I couldn’t resist. I handed him the twenty.

  He crinkled it up and stuffed it into the pocket of his shorts. “Okay,” he said. “Watch very carefully. See if you can spot the ‘trick.’”

  He picked up a bag of potato chips from the food tray. He ripped the bag open. Then he dumped the chips over Kevin’s head. “Disappear!” he shouted.

  Kevin made a yelp sound and disappeared.

  I uttered a cry. Kevin was gone. The air felt cold where he had been standing. I was kind of in shock. I couldn’t move. I had to force myself to breathe.

  Alexander grinned at me. “Did you see how I did that?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  He chuckled. “That’s because it’s not a trick. I really made him disappear.”

  He crinkled up the potato chip bag and tossed it on the floor. “Listen, kid, I’ve got to go. I promised I’d be somewhere. Nice meeting you.”

  He stepped past me and headed to the door.

  “Hey, wait—” I called. “What about Kevin?”

  He turned. “Was that his name? I made him disappear.”

  “I know,” I said. “But where is he? We have to meet our parents out front.”

  Alexander shrugged. “Beats me. I don’t know where he is. I made him disappear. I told you, dude, it wasn’t a trick.”

  A cold chill made my whole body shake. “No. Wait,” I said. “You . . . you’re really scaring me. I need my brother. I’m in charge of him. I promised I’d take good care of him.”

  Alexander shrugged again. “Kid, you paid me twenty dollars to make him disappear. What do you want me to do?”

  I felt sick. I struggled to keep my lunch down. This isn’t happening.

  I started to shout my brother’s name. “Kevin! Kevin? Are you here?”

  Silence.

  “That won’
t help, kid,” Alexander said. “He’s disappeared.”

  That’s when I lost it. “Well, bring him back!” I shouted. “Bring him back now! Do you want another twenty dollars? I can get more money from my parents. I’ll pay you. Really.”

  Alexander sighed. “Tell you the honest truth, kid. I don’t know how to bring them back. I only know how to make them disappear.”

  Another chill shook my body. “No . . . no way . . . ,” I murmured. “He’s my brother.” And before I realized it, I burst into tears.

  “Okay, okay.” Alexander came hurrying over. “I’m just messing with you, kid. Guess I have a weird sense of humor. I’ll get your brother. Just don’t cry, okay? You’ll get me into trouble.”

  He searched through the bags of potato chips and pulled one out. He tore the top off the bag, raised it high in the air, and spilled the chips onto the floor.

  I blinked. Kevin stood in front of me, eyes wide with confusion. His face was crinkled up, like he didn’t know where he was. “What was that about?” he said.

  “You’re okay!” I cried. I was so happy to see him, I almost hugged him. I rubbed the tears off my cheeks.

  Then I turned to Alexander. “You’re really mean,” I said. “You shouldn’t do that to people. You scared me to death.”

  He grinned. “I know. It’s just a strange thing about me. I can’t explain it. I like upsetting people and I really enjoy messing with their minds.” He stared down at me. “No hard feelings?”

  “No hard feelings,” I said. I picked up a bag of potato chips and tore it open. Then I dumped the bag over Alexander’s head. “Disappear!” I shouted.

  Alexander the Semi-Great disappeared.

  “Let’s go,” I told Kevin.

  Kevin’s mouth dropped open. “Huh? Mark? How’d you do that?” he asked.

  “Easy. I read the front of the chip bags,” I said. I held one up. “Look.”

  He read the front of the bag out loud: “Vanishing Chips.”

  Kevin picked up another bag. The front said: Reappearing Chips.

  “It’s a real easy trick—if you have the chips,” I said. I tossed the bag onto the table.

  “Are you going to bring him back?” Kevin asked.

  I grinned at him. “I don’t think so.”