Wonderwall

by Soars, M. H.

  After a minute, Beau says, “Unbelievable, we’ve got nothing. I think you’re becoming a fad already, lads.”

  “Sod off, Beau,” one of the twins says.

  “Okay, this is going to drive me insane. Am I supposed to know who you guys are?”

  “Really, you don’t recognize them?” Ryan asks.

  “Nope.”

  Beau throws his head back and laughs. “Oh, that’s precious. I can’t wait to see Bas’s face when she doesn’t recognize him.”

  Bas? A foreboding feeling takes hold of my heart, twisting it in a merciless grip. No, it can’t be. Someone approaches our table and stands behind Blondie. I look up and lock gazes with the last person I expect to see here, the last person I expect to see ever. Sebastian. The blood drains from my face and I find it impossible to get air into my lungs. My mouth becomes as dry as sawdust. Sebastian’s dark gaze is like a laser beam, drilling a hole through my face. The world around me ceases to exist, sounds become muffled. It’s like there’s only Sebastian and me in the room. When Ryan touches my arm, I snap back to the moment, and I notice that everyone is staring at me.

  “Liv, are you okay?” Ryan asks.

  “Yes, I’m fine. I-I…need to use the restroom.”

  I don’t know how I manage to get up and walk away from the table without tripping. Mercifully, the restroom is empty. I rest my hands on the cold dark granite counter and try to control my breathing. I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Sebastian is here. Sebastian is here. The chant in my head doesn’t stop. I cannot process it, I cannot believe it. Seeing him face to face is a million times worse than watching him on television. I’m back at that cold January afternoon when I found out Sebastian had left to London without saying goodbye. I’m right back at that god-damned moment. The hurt is overwhelming and it annihilates me all over again.

  I splash cold water on my cheeks and forehead, being careful enough to avoid getting my eye make-up ruined. I stare at my reflection and focus on my breathing. Saylor would chew my ass off if she knew how crazy I’m behaving right now. Get your shit together, Liv! You’re no longer the innocent fifteen year-old girl madly in love with your best friend. I listen to the Saylor in my mind. I am a strong, independent woman who doesn’t take crap from anyone, most of the time anyway. I can’t let Sebastian’s presence ruin my night. He has done enough damage already.

  My heartbeat returns to normal and I exhale in relief. I’m back in control. I can go out there and pretend I have no idea who Sebastian is either. I put another coat of lipstick on. A minute later, I exit the restroom with a new confidence in my step. I barely take two steps before I feel a hand on my arm.

  “Liv,” Sebastian says.

  My name on his lips is like a caress all over my body, and my traitorous heart reacts to it of its own accord.

  Chapter 25

  Sebastian

  I can’t believe my eyes when I catch a glimpse of Liv, gliding across the Dijng’s VIP lounge. I’m sure my mind is playing tricks on me or I must have drunk more than I remember. I follow her with my eyes, staying glued to the spot. Liv and her companion stop at Onno’s table, my table. Seeing her in the flesh after all these years is akin to being sucker punched in the gut. My heart feels like it’s being squeezed by a boa constrictor.

  I clench my jaw and will my body to move, to get the hell out of this club before Liv sees me, but I’m a masochist. She glances over her shoulder, looking in my direction, like she can sense I’m watching her. I take a step back, further into the shadows. Her gaze passes me and continues searching. Her friend touches her arm, bringing her attention back to him. They take a seat. That’s just fucking great. Why is she here?

  Now I’m pissed. How dare she show up like this on my turf and play havoc with my head? On a subconscious level I know that my thought process is ridiculous. I’m the one who fucked things up, but I hold on to my anger just the same. It’s the only thing that will prevent me from begging her for forgiveness. I stride to the bar and order a few shots of whiskey, drinking them in succession without stopping to breathe. My throat is nice and scorched, and I can feel the amber liquid burning my veins. The shots aren’t enough to dull the pain, but they give me courage to face the girl I can’t seem to forget.

  I make my way to the table and stop right behind Oliver, my best friend. I catch the end of the conversation, hear my name, but I can’t be bothered to contribute to it. I’m too busy drinking in the sight of Liv. God, I’ve missed her so much.

  She glances up and her eyes connect with mine. Even in the gloominess of the room, I see them widen in surprise. Her stare seems to last an eternity and I find myself drowning in her gaze. The guy she’s with asks her a question, and the spell is broken. She stands up suddenly, and walks away as fast as she can. I watch her leave and my mouth goes dry when I recognize the skirt she’s wearing. It’s the same skirt that tied her to me forever and dammed my soul.

  “Bas, where have you been? We’ve just met a bloody unicorn,” Oliver says, dispelling the trance I’m in.

  “What?” I ask.

  “That girl who was just here. She didn’t recognize any of us. Either she’s been living under a rock, or she’s a fucking unicorn.”

  “I don’t follow.”

  “Unicorn, rare mythical creature?”

  “I gotta pee,” I say and begin moving. I’m a bloodhound trained on Liv’s scent.

  I wait for her outside the restroom without a clue about what I intend to do.

  The door in front of me opens and I get tunnel vision. Liv becomes everything again. My heart lurches in my chest, and the longing there explodes with a vengeance, taking over my emotions like a ruthless army. Liv doesn’t see me at first, and before I can stop it, I’m reaching out to her, and saying her name like I want to make love to her right here, right now.

  She freezes mid-step. Her eyes are bright and unblinking. The air around us becomes charged with combustible energy. I move closer, my body is unable to fight her pull.

  “I can’t believe you’re here.” I raise my arm to touch her silky hair, but Liv takes a step back.

  “Long time no see, Sebastian. How have you been?” Her voice is hard, full of contempt. It’s a bucket of icy water on my face. I wake up from stupidity land and anger rears its ugly head again.

  “Terrific. You?” I answer.

  “Couldn’t have been better.”

  “Did you know I was going to be here?” The question rolls off my tongue before I can think through what I’m doing. It surprises her. Her jaw drops.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, come on, Liv. What are the odds that you would come to the same place as me?”

  “Unfucking real,” she mutters.

  I have mastered the art of douchery, so I keep digging my grave. My lips curl into a sneer. “Two years in this bloody business and I’ve learned to spot potential stalkers.”

  Liv’s eyes narrow to slits and her hands turn into fists by her side. “No, Sebastian. Two years in this business have turned you into an egomaniacal, delusional liar.”

  “Are you saying it’s by chance that you’re wearing the same damn skirt you used to seduce me five years ago?”

  I see anger flash in Liv’s eyes and I half expect her to slap my face. Perversely enough, I want her to do it. I’m out of my mind. Why am I saying all these horrible things to her when all I want is to bury my face in the crook of her neck, hug her tight, and never let her go again?

  She doesn’t hit me. Instead, the corners of her lips twitch upward. “What, this little thing here? Who said I’m wearing it for your benefit?”

  She walks around me and sashays her way back to her boyfriend. I want to punch a fucking wall.

  ☂ ☂ ☂

  Olivia

  My body is shaking as I make my way back to Ryan. In all the times I imagined seeing Sebastian agai
n, I never foresaw the conversation going as horribly wrong as it went. The man I just saw is a stranger, there isn’t a shred left of my Sebastian in him.

  It’s true, they say, grief can change a person in many ways. Some times for the better, and other times for the worse. Sebastian is clearly the second case. The loving and kind boy I fell in love with five years ago died with his parents, and a cold and twisted monster has taken his place.

  Hanging out with Onno has lost its appeal, all I want to do is get away from here, and hopefully never see Sebastian again. Ryan sees me coming and stands up. He notices something is up the moment I reach him. He puts his hands on my naked arms and searches my face.

  “What’s the matter? You’re as white as a ghost.”

  “I have a killer migraine. I gotta go home.”

  “I’ll take you.”

  “No, Ryan. You don’t have to. I’ll be fine on my own.”

  “Nonsense. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

  Ryan says goodbye to Onno and ushers me out of the VIP lounge. He puts a protective hand on my lower back and the gesture makes me want to cry. But I rein in the tears. I don’t want to explain to him the reason behind them.

  We get our coats and before I can blink, we’re inside a cab, heading back to the Hollingsworth. I glance at Ryan as he stares out the window. I squeeze his hand.

  “Thank you for coming with me. I’m sorry I ruined your evening.”

  He turns to me with eyebrows furrowed. “You didn’t ruin my evening. Onno is cool, but those guys from Boys Future are assholes. I was happy to leave.”

  Ryan’s actions tonight might have been all over the place, but what he just did for me is what stands out. “Listen, if you ever want to talk about…you know, I’m here.”

  A small smile appears on his face, a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Drama seems to follow me.”

  “Well, I’m an honorary member of the same club.”

  Chapter 26

  Olivia

  I arrive at the office bright and early on Monday morning. After spending the entire Sunday holed up in my room, I can’t wait to interact with people. My reclusion yesterday was self-imposed. Thanks to the awful encounter with Sebastian, I didn’t feel like facing anyone. Today, I’m Scarlett O’Hara, ready for battle.

  It’s seven-thirty and I’m surprised to see Mellie and Lloyd are already behind their desks, working like busy bees. It seems they’ve been in the office a while.

  “Oh, thank the Lord you’re here, Liv,” Lloyd says.

  “What’s the matter, guys? Why are you here so early?”

  “Well, Patsy called, asking us to be at the office seven a.m. sharp. I can’t believe she didn’t contact you, too.”

  I sit at my desk and turned my computer on. “Why?”

  “Well, she received a call last night. A very important prospect is coming to check out the premises on Wednesday, and Patsy wants to make sure everything is perfect. This is a big deal,” Mellie says.

  “Who’s the prospect?”

  “Gretchen Smith,” Lloyd squeaks.

  My hands freeze over the keyboard. No, it can’t be the same Gretchen. When I don’t say anything, Lloyd continues, “Media darling, Sebastian Coleman’s girlfriend.”

  I feel light headed all of the sudden and I’m glad my face is hidden behind the computer screen.

  “Any idea what kind of event Gretchen is planning?” I manage to say through the lump in my throat.

  “A surprise birthday party for Sebastian,” Mellie almost shouts in excitement. “Fingers crossed she picks the Hollingsworth.”

  No, no, no. This cannot be happening. Did I throw stones at the cross in my previous life? Why am I being punished now? Seeing Sebastian once was bad enough. I can’t possibly help plan his freaking birthday party. I just can’t.

  Patsy comes into the office like a hurricane, carrying an oversized bag and a Starbucks coffee in one hand. She has a newspaper under her arm, and a cigarette on her lips. “Team, my office. Now.”

  Mellie and Lloyd scramble to their feet, but I remain glued to my desk.

  “What are you waiting for? Move girl,” Lloyd says as he walks by me.

  I snap out of my shock, and grab a pen and my notebook to follow them into Patsy’s office. She begins talking before I can sit down.

  “I can’t stress enough how securing Gretchen’s business is of the utmost importance for this department. So here’s the plan. Lloyd, I need at least five design ideas for the décor. Use the Venetian room as your canvas. I want to see a mood board and final drafts of the designs by tomorrow.”

  Lloyd doesn’t even look up as he writes on his notepad. Patsy continues, “Mellie, you’ll coordinate with Chef François and begin brain storming ideas for the sampler he’ll prepare on Wednesday. It needs to fit the themes Lloyd comes up with.”

  Patsy’s eyes land on me. “Liv, your job is to pour over the internet and print out any article you can find on Gretchen and Sebastian. I mean everything. I want to know every single detail about their relationship, how they met, etc. I know that you can’t believe what the tabloids say, but there’s usually some truth behind those stories. Also, I want a full report on Gretchen, what are her likes and dislikes, how was her life before she became Britain’s darling. Have the report ready on my desk by the end of the day. But Lloyd and Mellie might need it sooner to help with their tasks.”

  I leave Patsy’s office in a daze. She couldn’t possibly have given me a worse assignment. Finding out more about Sebastian’s girlfriend and their relationship will be akin to stabbing my chest with a dull knife. I take a deep breath and channel my inner Scarlett O’Hara again. I can do this.

  But when I type in Sebastian’s and Gretchen’s names on Google, I begin to doubt. Not because it’s going to be excruciating learning more about them as couple, but because there are thousands of search results. Now I wish I had brought my morbid collection of gossip magazines with me.

  “Oh, darn it! I’ll have to cancel dinner at my house, Liv. I’m so sorry. I hope you don’t mind. I know I’ll be working late this week.”

  “It’s okay, Mellie. We have a lot to do in such a short period of time.” I turn to the computer screen again. Ugh, I don’t know where to start. I put my head in my hands, pull my hair, and groan. “This is impossible. How can we finish our tasks by the deadline?”

  “Welcome to the world of events coordination, luv,” Lloyd says from his desk.

  “Oh, I have a brilliant idea.” Mellie glances my way. “My youngest cousin is completely obsessed with Boys Future. She has a stack of gossip mags about them, organized in chronological order. I’ll make a call and have them delivered here within the hour.”

  “Won’t your cousin mind?”

  “She doesn’t need to know. She’s away at uni. My aunt will help.” Mellie winks at me.

  “Focus on Gretchen for now. But forget Google. You’ll be better off reading her blog. It’s VelvetandChocolates.com,” Lloyd says.

  And that’s what I do for the next couple of hours. The most recent post shows pictures of Gretchen at the backstage of a fashion show, with her hair in curlers. She must be getting ready to walk on the runway. She’s so pretty it hurts my eyes. I click on the archive link and begin reading her entries in the order they were posted, from oldest to newest.

  At first, I hate her with a passion. But as I begin to follow her journey, her adventures suck me in, and I have to concede that she seems to be a very cool girl. Her writing is engaging, and despite her privileged background, I never get the sense that she’s a snob.

  When I finally reach the part where she met Sebastian, my heart rips open again. She was in one of Boys Future’s music videos. The masochist in me can’t help but watch the damn thing. By the time I’m done, I’m back to ha
ting Gretchen Smith.

  Chapter 27

  Olivia

  I knew without a doubt that Gretchen would choose the Hollingsworth for Sebastian’s party. I’m that lucky. Murphy’s Law, you suck.

  Mellie and Lloyd are on cloud nine that we won Gretchen’s account, and it’s all they can talk about. I’m sick of hearing them gushing over her, and their comments about what a perfect couple Sebastian and Gretchen make. At least I’m not completely involved with the planning and preparations for his stupid party. Our department still has plenty of other events that require our attention, and since I’m the newbie, and Gretchen’s account is being considered a top project, I wasn’t assigned any tasks related to it. Yet. But, since I’m buddies with Murphy now, I know things will change in no time.

  Six days before the party, I come into the office after my lunch break, and I find Mellie pacing in front of my desk.

  “Bloody hell. Where have you been?” Her usually immaculate hair is the worse for wear with loose wisps here and there.

  “Across the street getting food?”

  “I called you a thousand times. We have an emergency.”

  I retrieve my phone from my bag and sure enough I see ten missed calls from Mellie. Crap!

  “Sorry, I must have put it on mute by accident. What happened?”

  “A disaster is what happened. Patsy was supposed to run an important errand for Gretchen’s party this afternoon, but she fell earlier when leaving her house and broke her arm. She’s at the hospital right now.”

  “Oh, no! That’s awful.”

  “I know! I can’t leave the bloody office because I have a gazillion things to do here and Lloyd is already all across town picking up the special décor we ordered for the party. That means you’ll have to take care of Patsy’s errand.”