Menagerie

by Bradford Morrow

  Come join us, Cosmos told her. I made dhal and green beans.14 Laura leaned in to him and mumbled something in her native tongue. Neal stared at Emma’s paintings. S—sloth. T—tortoise. U—unicorn.

  Unicorns aren’t animals, you know, said Neal.

  I have a lot of work to do, said Laura. It was nice to see you, Neal, she said, clicking out of the room.

  Neal, said Emma.

  Not now, said Neal.

  She already ate, said Cosmos. I can’t give her dhal. The FBI designed her palate. Overreacts to everything. Give me twenty minutes to clean up. Baby, go show Neal your paintings.

  Emma led Neal to her bedroom on the second floor. She owned many reptile representations, including a wooden c————— hanging from Kenya and squishy puppets. The rug was the perfect hideous chromium-oxide shade.

  Ready? she said, standing at ease.

  Let’s go backward, said Neal.

  Emma took out the cards and flipped them over. Zebra. Yak. X-ray fish. Wallaby …

  Neal leaned back on the carpet; he was at once afraid of its touch and seduced by its texture, from the downy bellies of newborn goats from Asia Minor. Perhaps he could snip a bit and use it in something. This meant he was thinking of soft things, and of his work. This meant he wasn’t thinking of a————s, and as soon as he realized he wasn’t thinking about them, he would start thinking about them again.

  Actually, Emma, I have a headache.

  We’re halfway. She frowned. Ibis. Hyena. Giraffe …

  No, Emma. Please. Please stop.

  Flamingo. Elephant. Dove. Chameleon—Neal snatched the cards away from Emma.

  Emma’s face flushed as if she had been slapped. She began to tear, silently, gazing.

  Emma, said Neal, I’m sorry. Can you please accept my apology?

  She gave him the what the hell look he got so often, and ran out of the room past Cosmos, who was coming to join them.

  Did she hurt herself?

  Neal sighed. I was thinking about a————s again. Today fifteen thousand c—————s escaped into the Limpopo River.15

  Did Emma talk about a————s? Cosmos addressed Neal and Emma in the same tone.

  No, but she had those cards, and A was obviously a————.

  That’s the only one you could imagine.

  Neal nodded.

  Cosmos sighed. They’re c—————s, not a————s, right? So why were you afraid of a————s? Why didn’t C bother you? He sat on the floor and took off his glasses. Neal. This must stop. Your infantile imagination cannot hijack your life. You can’t attack my daughter like you’re on drugs.

  God, I didn’t attack her.

  Are you on drugs?

  No!

  Then you’re an asshole. I can’t do this right now. We’ll talk about this later.

  Can I talk to her?

  Get the fuck out of my house!

  Neal stood up and opened the door. On the way out he saw that A was antelope.

  1 For some reason Neal was slightly more comfortable with c————— than a————.

  2 Annotations by Jean-Louis Katz.

  3 Or paintings, drawings, sculpture. Comics, animations, political cartoons. Children’s stuffed toys. Children’s wooden toys. Carvings. Etchings. Scratchings. Clawings. Puppets. Dragon puppets. Toad puppets. Lizard puppets. Inflatable rafts in their likeness. Or metal clothespins. Wooden clothespins.

  4 A———— resembled other words with mechanistic and hostile qualities: aggressive, agrarian, allegorical, agate, algae, profligate, ligature, Ligeti, litigator, alleged, allegation, alley, agility, Rigoletto. Elevators. Escalators. Percolators. Insulators. Refrigerators. Incinerators. Liberators. Aviators. Radiators. Validators. Instigators. Carburetors. Dilators. Flagellators. Aggravated, agrestic, acrostic. Accelerate. Aggregate.

  5 Handbags of a———— skin, but really all handbags. Leather of a———— skin but really all leather. Shoes. Belts. Zippers. His father’s toenails. His father’s calves. The teeth of Stuart MacKenzie. The teeth of Sister Mary. The teeth of his dentist. His own teeth. Horses. Carrots placed at certain angles. Haricots verts split open. Green scrubbing sponges. Steel wool. Dinosaurs. Rats. Mice. Pigeons. Birds. Eels. Snakes. Lizards. Turtles. Frogs. Dogs. Tongs.

  6 As a child, his sister had been overweight and wore a brace of Barbara Hepworth sculpture bands and brackets that made her look like an a————, rationalizing her satisfaction that one was likely to eat Neal.

  7 Holders for floppy and compact discs, especially in green. Books. Anything that opened and shut. Doors. Pinking shears. Gardening shears. Scissors. Knives. Paper shredders. Binder clips. Staplers. Lobsters. Langoustines. Avocados.

  8 Neal has mild cases of both grapheme-color synesthesia, in which letters and numbers are perceived as color, and chromesthesia, in which sounds are perceived as color.

  9 People with beady eyes. With sharp teeth. With dry skin. With sharp noses. With no ears. With no necks. With red eyes. With long nails and untrimmed cuticles. With short nails gnawed to stubs. With defined abdominal muscles. With fatty bellies. With short legs. With steel whips for legs and arms, etc. Growling. Groaning. Cackling. Smug smiling. Blank stares.

  10 The egg-hatching queue. The metal machinery. The cold-blooded worker. The metal grates. The do not attack signs. The shoulder-sloping uniforms. Corrugated cardboard. The edge used to cut mailing tape. The cut edge of mailing tape. The USPS eagle with the long, sharp frame.

  11 Hidden places. Tall grasses. Things that were wet. The marsh of the palette. The tracks of the brush. The texture of canvas. The watery murk from rinsing brushes. The assault of paint thinner. The smarminess of linseed oil.

  12 Jean-Louis Katz doesn’t remember asserting that Neal’s mother was a c—————, but instead that she was not one. That she was not one of those refrigerator mothers who induced autism. In fact, he was thinking of his own mother, Outaouaise novelist Paulette Leduc, and Lacan’s interpretation of the c————— mother, and the disappearance of the protection his father had offered back in Guelph. Still, Jean-Louis Katz knew what psychoanalysis had to say about not.

  13 He avoided all countries—except, unfortunately, for his adopted one—known to harbor c—————s in the wild, i.e., 51 percent of countries, and all continents except Europe and Antarctica. New Zealand supposedly didn’t have any, but he didn’t believe that one, or Tunisia. It was the national animal of Iran, Lesotho, and Timor-Leste. He refused to visit Florida, Louisiana, Alabama, North Carolina, Texas, South Carolina, Mississippi, or Georgia, where they roamed free.

  14 Fluted tart pans. The edge used to cut Cling Film. The edge used to cut aluminum foil. Calculators. Perambulators. When someone told him see you later. When someone told him after a while. Broken eggshells. Broken glass. Broken dishes. Spinach. Kale. Chard. Cavolo nero. Broccolini. Collard greens. Cabbage. Blindness, scurvy, and rickets from lack of vitamins.

  15 Hedges. Bushes. Clouds. Binding materials with teeth. Spiral notebooks. Open books. Thorns on roses. Leaves on dandelions. Algae. Grass. Ponds. Bogs. Humidity.

  Greta and Her Creatures

  Michael Parrish Lee

  CROC

  LOUNGING IN THE SUNSHINE for much of the afternoon, this creature possesses large white glass eyes that shake in a manner at once fearsome and friendly when Greta’s hand is put inside him. Croc chats and jokes with the other creatures, but if they come too close he snaps his teeth. Although his teeth are made of felt, the other creatures try to keep their distance.

  MONKEY

  Monkey is the oldest creature but not the most familiar. The origins of Monkey are uncertain to Greta. Monkey seems to have always just been there. Monkey is very friendly, but he is not the friendliest of the creatures. As Monkey chatters, Greta senses something distant in Monkey, something almost sad. “Where did you come from, Monkey?” Greta sometimes asks. But Monkey pretends not to hear. Greta thinks that one day Monkey will tell his story,
and she is quite happy to wait. As with Croc, Greta’s hand can be put inside. However, Greta does not do this with Monkey as often as she does with Croc, and Monkey’s vitality does not seem to depend as much on it.

  SANDRA

  Sandra is a small, stout bear who cares deeply for the other creatures. Her long fur is very soft and obscures her black eyes. The way her fur obscures her eyes plays a part in the way that Sandra cares deeply for the others.

  TEDDO

  A small, slim bear, whose fur is much shorter than Sandra’s, Teddo has large eyes and a white belly. Teddo is fun and friendly and well liked by all. However, Greta contains one inner location in which Teddo does not matter as much as the other creatures.

  GRETA’S MOM (A.)

  Greta’s Mom is a shadow.

  BILLY BLOCK

  Carved from wood and adorned on six sides with a red number 4, Billy Block hops rapidly up and down, wishing to speak but unable to do so. Billy Block’s parents and siblings—each painted on six sides with a number of his or her own—live in a forest, Greta knows. Do they haves mouths with which to speak? Was it only Billy who was forgotten when a woodsman carved their facial features? Or do they communicate with each other through their numbers or by hopping up and down, having no need for mouths—meaning that it is not the case that Billy Block cannot speak but rather that Greta either cannot understand or cannot speak correctly?

  Billy Block might not look like much, but he has the heart of a kangaroo.

  JUNIPER

  Even though Juniper is a small cotton pig, his name is not Pigly. That is the name of a different creature. Juniper was once a girl but is now a boy. He likes to eat slops and sleep in the mud produced by taking the folded blanket at the foot of the bed and reorganizing it in the crack where the side of the bed meets the wall. However, Juniper is not strictly lazy. He likes to dance (especially with Percilily) and amble through low, green hills and pick wildflowers with the other creatures. Greta predicts that Juniper will marry Sandra. She also predicts that Juniper will one day be a girl again.

  GRETA’S MOM (B.)

  Greta’s door is very tall. The door opens and a long shadow enters.

  PERCILILY

  Percilily is a beautiful hippopotamus. She wears a tutu and enjoys swimming in the blue waterways that crisscross Greta’s bed. Percilily has very long eyelashes. We estimate, through data obtained from Greta, that the eyelashes are as long as the hair of a human princess. Croc harbors romantic affection for Percilily—as do Teddo, Juniper, and, perhaps, My Bird. However, we are able to estimate that Percilily harbors romantic affection exclusively for Juniper, and, perhaps, My Bird.

  GRAY #2

  Gray #2 is a brave, handsome dog, sporting a fine, short, gray coat that, despite its shortness, keeps him warm through the winter. Gray #2 is a guardian but not the main guardian. He can smell anything and so detect intruders. He likes to eat sausages and porridge with syrup and sliced bananas. Sometimes, if the others have not bathed or accidentally emit gas, Gray #2’s nose twitches and he becomes annoyed.

  Gray #2 came after Gray. Gray was a wise gray owl who disappeared. Greta has made inquiries into the disappearance of this creature, but these inquiries were met only with a denial that such a creature ever existed and with the appearance of Gray #2.

  GRETA’S BROTHER (A.)

  He runs into Greta’s room and bounces on her bed, disturbing the pile of creatures convening there. Gray #2 sniffs and growls, Croc snaps at his bottom, and Monkey bonks his head, so Greta’s Brother—after a final bounce—runs screaming out of her room.

  PIGLY

  Pigly is a tiny, brown, furry creature—perhaps a small rodent. Greta has not yet determined its species or dwelt on the matter at length. Pigly hides in a log and makes a high-pitched sound. Greta does not know whether Pigly is a boy or a girl. To Greta, Pigly matters even less than Teddo.

  GRETA’S DAD

  Greta’s Dad is composed of three elements: a. The Face, b. The Ground, c. The Laugh.

  a. The Face is the largest face in the world. It contains a red complexion and a very wide smile.

  b. When Greta elevates, she no longer sees The Face. Instead she sees The Ground far below. She holds on tight and hollers loudly. It is now that she hears c. The Laugh.

  SUZY (A.)

  Suzy is the small three-dimensional likeness of a human female. Suzy does not sit on Greta’s bed with the creatures but lives instead in the back corner of Greta’s closet. At one point Suzy could speak, but she can no longer do so. Greta does not think about Suzy, except in rare moments when she wakes from sleep and remembers, with a cold, nauseous sensation, that Suzy still lives in her closet.

  FLOPSAM

  Flopsam is zany and fun! While his physiology might not appear amenable to vigorous activity, Flopsam is perhaps the most energetic of the creatures. His flat, square, floppy body is ideal for sailing through the air, like a kite, only faster. And despite the small, floppy arms that sprout from his corners, Flopsam has no difficulty racing through the low, green hills with Juniper, hopping rapidly up and down with Billy Block, playing tug-of-war with Monkey, and even, on two occasions, spanking Croc for misbehaving. When Flopsam needs to relax, he floats down from the sky like a parachute. But Flopsam rarely needs to relax.

  Greta remembers how she found Flopsam on the ground outside, just lying there without a home. She remembers holding him tightly in her bed and crying as voices argued outside her door, an angry woman’s voice saying loudly, Another one, garbage, and then Flopsam’s name.

  MY BIRD

  The best and favorite of the creatures, My Bird has been saved for last. My Bird bears a physical resemblance to a large bird on television; however, My Bird is not that bird. My Bird is the Guardian of Greta and occupies a place of distinction among the creatures. When at night Greta sleeps under the covers with Croc, Monkey, Sandra, Teddo, Billy Block, Juniper, Percilily, Gray #2, Pigly, and Flopsam piled on top of her, My Bird lies at Greta’s side, his beak facing out to peck away any monsters or bad things that might come in the night. Greta holds tightly My Bird’s long, floppy neck, which has grown threadbare from Younger Chewing that Greta does not recall. At the back of My Bird there is a string that can be pulled to make him speak, but Greta is also able to make him speak without using the string. My Bird is separate from the other creatures, but he loves them and they love him.

  SUZY (B.)

  Two long, shadowy arms push forth the small three-dimensional likeness of a female.

  “Here you go—a lovely dolly.”

  HOW PIGLY WAS ONE DAY KILLED

  One day something terrible happened. Something terribly large fell on Pigly and crushed the life out of it. None of the other creatures saw this happen or could figure out what fell. Greta and her creatures attended a funeral presided over by a somber Croc. The one time that Croc told a joke, Monkey bonked his head as a reminder to be somber. Greta felt strange.

  CROC AND MONKEY GO ON AN ADVENTURE

  The creatures have become suspicious. How did Pigly really die? Did someone kill it? The creatures begin fighting and some are seriously injured.

  Everything has gone wrong.

  After consulting with My Bird and Greta, Croc and Monkey decide to go on an adventure in order to locate the Amber Potion and use it to bring Pigly back to life.

  Croc swims through the river, carrying Monkey on his back. Croc eats fish and Monkey picks bananas and coconuts from the branches that hang low over the water.

  Finally they come to a cave, but there is something horrible inside. However, they are brave; they enter the darkness despite the danger. They feel as though they are being watched. They move quickly deep into the cave until they discover the Amber Potion shining like treasure. They take the potion and run as quickly as they can. They feel something following them. Something horrible happens in the cave. But they manage to escape and return with the Amber Potion.

  As the other creatures gather around, Sandra takes the potion fr
om Monkey and pours it into Pigly’s small mouth.

  Pigly comes back to life. Everyone cheers and celebrates. Now there is no more fighting.

  However, something strange occurs. Almost as soon as they begin to celebrate and dance, the creatures realize that they didn’t really miss Pigly after all. Pigly makes its high-pitched sound and scurries away to the log that it hides in.

  The next day, Pigly is found killed again.

  JUNIPER SHARES A KISS

  After dancing, Juniper pulls Percilily behind a pillow and they kiss romantically.

  But something is wrong.

  Sandra has seen them. She saw them dancing together and followed as Juniper pulled Percilily away from the celebration in case he was going to beat her up. But when she saw them kiss, Sandra became jealous and let out a cry.

  “It’s OK,” Juniper says. “Kisses can be shared.”

  “That’s silly,” Sandra says, but she is amazed to see the kiss float up from between Juniper and Percilily like a beautiful pink butterfly. The Kisserfly (as it’s called) floats over to Sandra and lands on her lips romantically, and she knows that one day things will be different and she and Juniper will be married.

  GRETA’S MOM (C.)

  A long shadow pushes forth two dresses. One is large and one is small, one for Greta and one for her dolly.