by Joannie Kay
“I wasn’t offended; I was afraid,” she confessed, permitting her composure to slip a bit.
He could see how vulnerable she was at that moment, and he reached for her hand. “You don’t need to be afraid of me, Jordan. If this happens again, just wake me and I’ll scoot away immediately. I won’t hurt you.”
She nodded and he got up and hurried into his clothing. “I’ll go outside and take care of the stock. Can you fix us some breakfast?”
“Sure. I’ll get the eggs from the chicken house,” she offered.
He nodded and then left the bedroom, giving her some privacy, and trying not to think of how her perfect breast had felt in his hand. For such a small woman, she had breasts that begged for attention.
As soon as Cray left the room, Jordan quickly dressed, and then she made the bed. It was important to her to prove she had some good upbringing from her Aunt Hermione, and she knew enough to make the bed first thing in the morning. After that was done, she found a basket in the kitchen she could use to gather the eggs. She went outside to the chicken house and then inside to where the hens left their treats. Jordan was delighted to find nine eggs. They would have a great breakfast, and she would have enough left over to bake a cake. After so long without any sort of luxuries, and certainly not enough eggs, sugar, and flour to make a dessert, Jordan was nearly giddy with the very idea of baking a cake again. Even when Aunt Hermione lived, there wasn’t often enough for a treat.
While Jordan worked on preparing their breakfast, her mind couldn’t help thinking about what happened earlier. The pretty redhead was startled to realize that she could still feel his touch on her skin. It hadn’t been unpleasant. His hand was warm and quite gentle as he fondled her. She wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t interrupted him. Would he have touched her elsewhere? She was curious as could be and had lots of questions, but she was so shy she didn’t know who she could ask for more information. Perhaps Alice would be able to help her fill in the blanks? All Jordan knew at this point was that she didn’t feel disgusted, and it was a new feeling for her when it came to men. When Ike Kellogg touched her, she felt panic, and like she needed to scrub his touch off of her body. She certainly didn’t feel that way right now.
By the time Cray came inside she had the table all set and their meal ready. “Breakfast is done,” she called to him as he washed his hands.
“I’m ready for it; smells good,” he said, and then walked over to take his seat. She put a plate in front of him, and it was covered with food. “Looks good, too,” he added. He waited patiently while she filled another plate for herself, and then she sat down, her hands folded in her lap and her eyes downcast. Cray thought she was waiting for him to offer grace, and since he had no problem with that, he gave thanks. When she still sat there with her eyes downward, he asked, “Jordan, what is wrong?”
“Nothing,” she quickly answered.
“Don’t fib to me; I will spank you for lying to me,” he warned. “I always want the truth. Now, tell me, what is wrong?” His dark eyes watched her intently.
Jordan didn’t want to answer. “I don’t feel right,” she finally whispered.
“Are you sick?” he asked, concerned. He quickly got to his feet, rounded the table, and placed his large hand on her forehead to check for fever, but her skin was cool to the touch.
“I’m not ill,” she replied, trying to shrug away when he touched her. “I’m not sick!” she repeated, trying to get away.
“I don’t like hem-hawing around, little girl,” he warned. “Talk to me right now and stop playing games. Why don’t you feel right?”
“I’m too embarrassed to say,” she explained, and then burst into tears. “Please eat your breakfast before it gets cold. Please,” she said in a firmer tone of voice.
“I will eat, but only if you eat, too.”
“I’ll eat,” she agreed, picking up her fork.
Cray decided he was too hungry to play guessing games with his wife. After they finished, he would get to the bottom of things… one way or another.
Jordan enjoyed her breakfast, but she looked anywhere but at Cray. She just couldn’t let him discover how her body reacted to his touch. It was too embarrassing, and she was afraid he would get the wrong idea about her. She wasn’t that kind of woman.
“Did I fix enough?” she finally asked as she took the last bite of her honey-covered biscuit.
“Yes, I’m full, and it was real tasty, Jordan. You are a wonderful cook.”
“Thank you so much.” Her eyes shone with pleasure at his words.
“Now I want you to tell me what is bothering you, and I don’t want to hear ‘nothing.’ That would be grounds for a spanking.”
“I can’t talk about it, Cray. I’m a girl and you’re a man.”
“We are married, and that makes it all right to talk about anything.”
He watched, as she seemed to think about things, her cheeks growing redder and redder. Finally, she whispered, “I didn’t mind when you touched me.”
“That’s nice to hear because I enjoyed touching you, even though I missed most of it,” he admitted.
“It wasn’t like when Ike Kellogg touched me,” she confided.
“Good,” he said with a smile. “I don’t want you to fear me or feel as though I am forcing you to do something unpleasant. Making love between a man and a woman should be pleasant for both of them. It’s natural to get a tingling feeling,” he added, sensing she was asking for information.
“It is?” her voice squeaked.
“Yes, it is. A woman will get damp in her private area, too, and a man will get hard. It’s what happens when you are physically attracted to each other.”
“I didn’t know,” she admitted, her embarrassment at war with her relief at getting some answers.
“It’s perfectly natural,” he said, and then added, “Those feelings can happen when we don’t want them to sometimes.”
“They can?” she asked, flustered.
“Sure. But, with us, it is safe. We are married to each other, and it is expected. I think it is best for us to take our time and let these feelings come along naturally, than to try and force them. I hope you agree?”
“I agree.” She nodded, relieved at his words. “Thank you for explaining. I felt I should be mad at you, but my body liked your touch. I didn’t know what to think; I was afraid I was turning into one of those women who work at the saloon in town.”
“Hardly,” he chuckled. “Even sweet girls like Alice love their husband and are attracted to him physically. God made us this way so that couples would pair off and have children.”
“You know so much, and I feel ignorant sometimes.”
“No need for that, Jordan. Just ask if you want to know something. I’ll answer if I can.”
“Thank you, Cray.” She got to her feet then and started clearing the table.
“I’ll go hitch up the team and we can drive over to your place so that you can fetch whatever you want to bring here.”
She nodded and hurried to do the dishes and straighten up. Cray came inside just as she hung up her dishtowel to dry for use the next time. “I’m all ready,” she assured him.
“That quickly?” he asked. “I was kicking my butt for not offering to help with the dishes. I didn’t mean for you to rush.”
“I thought we were sort of working together, Cray. You getting the team and wagon ready, and me cleaning up our kitchen.”
He grinned. “All right then. I am new at this husband business, and not sure what I should do sometimes. You need to tell me if I step on your toes.”
“I’m sure I will,” she answered with a grin of her own. “I’m sort of known for speaking my mind rather loudly.”
He laughed as they went outside and took the road to drive around to her place. The shack looked the same as it had when he tracked her through the wooded area between their places to put her over his knee until she bit him and earned her release, running away from him as
fast as she could. That was also their wedding day, and it was just yesterday in spite of it seeming a lifetime ago!
“This place ain’t much,” Jordan told him, wondering if he felt that she was beneath him for coming from such a poor background.
“I’m sure you have some good memories of your aunt.”
“Yes, I do. She was an honest woman, and before she got so she could barely move, she was a hard worker. We never had much, but we never owed no one, neither. That’s why I don’t believe that banker when he says Aunt Hermione owed him money. I want proof.”
“So do I. I bet there isn’t anything in writing.”
“I’m glad you’re on my side, Cray. As the newcomer, I figured you for an easy mark to fend from. I was wrong.”
“Thank you, I think.”
“It was a compliment,” she assured him as he jumped down from the wagon and came around to help her down.
“Come on inside.” She opened the door that was barely hanging on its hinges, and then she gasped in outrage. The furniture, such as it was, was lying on the floor, splintered and broken. Her aunt’s rocking chair was destroyed, the pillow she kept on the seat, ripped open and the feathers scattered everywhere. The precious few books she owned were ripped apart. Dishes were broken, too.
Cray pulled her close and wrapped his arm around her, hating whoever dared to tear her home apart. No, it wasn’t much, but it was hers and whoever did this was going to answer to him.
“Who did this, Cray?” she tearfully asked, and then sobbed when her green eyes fell on her aunt’s bible lying on the floor in the midst of broken glass. She pulled free of Cray and hurried to pick it up. “Oh no!” Jordan cried out in dismay and pain. “Just look! Aunt Hermione’s bible!”
“Is it salvageable?” he questioned, gently taking it from her hands and trying to shake out the shards of glass from between the pages.
“I am so mad right now!” she said, and then she marched from the room and to the only bedroom in the place. Suddenly, there was a sharp pain on the back of her head. Jordan saw stars and then everything went black.
“You BITCH!” Cray heard a man’s voice say and he hurried to get to Jordan. “I’ll have you now, and then you can explain to that fancy newcomer a real man had you!”
Ike Kellogg was so busy unbuttoning his pants, intent on his business with Jordan, that he didn’t realize that she had not come to the shack alone. Cray was enraged at the hatred contorting the man’s face as he looked down at the unconscious Jordan and raised his hand to slap her. Cray grabbed Ike and threw him across the room.
“You son of a bitch! You took Jordy from me! Folks knowed I was breakin’ ’er in to make ’er mine.”
“I know that you tried to rape her and her Aunt Hermione beat you off of her and told you not to come around again. You leave now, Ike, or I’m going to give you a lesson you’ll never forget.” Cray was furious, and wanted to beat the man senseless, but he also wanted to check on Jordan and take care of her. She might need to see a doctor.
Ike wasn’t about to leave. He wanted what was his! He grabbed his knife, the one he was using to slash open pillows and destroy everything in Jordan’s home, and lunged at Cray with it. Cray stepped aside at the last moment and Ike was carried forward by his own momentum. He crashed into the wall, shoving the outstretched knife into his stomach. Ike screamed as he fell to the floor in agony. “I’m dying! Help me, I’m dying!” he screamed.
“There’s nothing I can do, Ike. You are dying, and you should use what little time you have left to make peace with your maker,” Cray told him matter-of-factly.
The man sobbed and cursed and blamed Jordan and if not for the fact he was dying, Cray would have belted him in the mouth. Cray moved to check on the redhead and was thankful when all he found was a bump on the back of her head. She moaned and opened her lovely green eyes.
“What happened?” she asked. “My head hurts!”
“Ike Kellogg hit you and was planning to rape you. He tried to come at me with his knife and then fell on it. He is dying and he won’t be a threat any longer.”
“He’s the one who tore up Aunt Hermione’s things?” she whispered forlornly.
“He did.” A glance at the man told him that Ike was gone. Cray knew he would need to take Ike’s body into town and tell the sheriff what happened. “Honey, I think you should let the doctor look at you. I’ve got to take the body to the sheriff and let him deal with Ike. I know he’s going to ask a thousand questions.”
“I feel like I’m going to throw up!”
Cray helped her up and outside, and poor Jordan did lose her breakfast. He was sure she had a concussion. When she finally felt better, he got an old blanket and wrapped Ike’s body in it and put it in the back of the wagon before heading to town with his wife leaning against him. They stopped so that she could be ill once again, and then went straight to the doctor’s office.
“What’s going on?” Doc asked with a frown as Cray knocked on the door.
Cray explained, and lifted the redhead onto the examining table. She didn’t even fuss as the doctor looked her over, which was a first for Jordan.
“She’s got a concussion and needs to stay right here tonight so I can keep an eye on her.”
“I want to go with Cray,” Jordan mumbled, holding onto him. “Please, Cray, don’t leave me here.”
“Honey, I want us right here where Doc can watch over you. Doc, may I stay here with Jordan?” Cray asked before she could argue.
“I think that would be a good idea, son,” the doctor said kindly, giving Cray a look of respect. He motioned for Cray to come aside. “Did Ike?”
“No, sir. I stopped him.”
“Thank God for that. We all love little Jordy, and I was mad as hell at them fools for marrying her off to you, but the girl is already in love with you.”
“We are getting to know each other,” Cray answered. “It’s too soon for the marrying kind of love to take hold. We just need time. I sure do care for her, however.”
“What’s wrong with me?” Jordan asked fearfully from the other side of the room.
“Doc just wanted to know if Ike did more than hit you, Jordan. I assured him that he didn’t get a chance to do that.”
“Thank you, Cray,” she whispered.
“I need to go to see the sheriff now, but I’ll come back and sit with you as soon as I explain things to the man.”
“All right. I’m going to lie right here; my head really hurts.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead.
*****
Jordan felt like crying, but she resolutely got to her feet and cleared the table so that she could wash the breakfast dishes. Cray barely said two words to her these days, and she was sure he regretted marrying her. He wasn’t tender with her, and at night he sent her on to bed but then he stayed up so late she fell asleep waiting for him to join her. During the first few days of their marriage, he was kind to her, especially after Ike hit her and gave her several days of a really bad headache. He stayed by her side at Doc’s and made sure she had whatever she needed. But now? Well, now he acted like he hated the sight of her, and it made her sad.
Alice and Jim Evans had had their baby girl a few weeks ago, and Jordan went and helped with the delivery and with keeping the other children happy and content while their mama rested until she felt good enough to take over the entire house once again. Each and every day Cray came into town to help out a bit with the kids, or anything else that he could do to give her a hand, but that was several weeks ago, and now he barely spoke to her. She felt unwanted, and that was when she decided it was time for her to go back where she came from. It would be difficult, especially after having it so nice for nearly three months, but she wouldn’t be an anchor around Cray’s neck. She wrote him a note, and then went into the bedroom and changed out of the dress she’d made for herself. She’d take nothing that wasn’t hers with her.
Her heart nearly broke as she ‘fended’ a few grocery items, but she’d gro
wn used to eating, and had no heart for scrounging for food today. She made sure that Cray was nowhere in sight, and left by way of the path through the woods. Either Cray would come for her or he wouldn’t. It was that simple.
*****
Cray was tired. He’d never realized how hard it would be to keep his promise not to touch his pretty little wife until she was ready to be touched. People didn’t fall in love so fast, did they? Cray found that all he had to do was look at the pretty redhead and he was ready to make love to her. He had no clue what she was thinking or feeling because she was so quiet all of the time. Ever since he brought her home after the new Evans baby was born, she had been distant with him, and he feared that she was unhappy.
It was time to talk to her, Cray decided. This impasse couldn’t continue. They needed to talk through their problem and then compromise with each other to make their situation bearable. He was surprised when he couldn’t find her inside the house. He looked around the outside of the ranch house, but there was no sign of her there, either. He went back inside the house, sure he’d just missed her, but after calling her name several times, he worried that she might be ill. However, the bed was made and the clothes she’d been wearing that morning were lying on the bed. He went to her wardrobe and it only took a glance for him to see that her ‘fending’ clothes were missing! He stomped from the room, and it was then that he spotted a note lying on the table. He picked it up and read it, and then read it again before stomping out of the house and through the woods.
*****
Jordan was filled with despair as she looked around her old home. It was shabby as could be. Ike had destroyed almost everything that could be used. She was going to need to ‘fend’ a lot of pieces to furnish the house, and some paint for the outside. But, now that she’d been spoiled by Cray, ‘fending’ seemed so wrong. It just wasn’t right to help herself to what others worked for. She and Cray had talked about that several times, but she’d kept her promise and hadn’t taken one single thing while living with him. She was going to have to find a job; it was imperative if she was to survive and not resort to taking things from others.