Talk a Good Game
Page 24
34
JANELLE
I left Frankie’s place and headed back to Columbia with a big shit-eating grin on my face. We had just spent a fabulous weekend together, and I was really feeling that dude.
Here was my homeboy from back during a time when he had a big crush on me and I was fucking older boys with jobs and cars. Now he was a man I was really feeling. Don’t get me wrong there wasn’t a day that passed I wasn’t missing Kaleb. I missed his smile, his touch. I even missed that cripple-ass walk that was his own unique swagger. I couldn’t get him off my mind. But as much as I wanted to be there when he received his next installment check, I’d be damned if I was going to continue to be disrespected. And to prove to him how serious I was, I waited until he was in Kansas City on business and had all of my things moved from his house and into a storage unit. He’d been calling and begging ever since. Like I told him before, Jae is not to be messed with.
I pulled into Columbia and felt this need to drop by and see my mother. I usually saw her on Mondays but for some reason I just wanted to talk to her and share what was going on in my life and hear what she had to say. I drove down Providence Road past the park. They were playing hoops so the park was packed with wall-to-wall brothas. Back in the day I couldn’t wait to get my hot ass down the hill so I could be seen in the hood but that was before my father started sliding up and embarrassing me. Nothing worse than a cop snooping around. After that I started going places he never could find me.
I made a right at the light and a few seconds later I pulled in front of the house. That eerie feeling returned but I pushed it aside. Today I wasn’t letting anything steal my shine!
I was surprised to find the door locked since Mama always wanted to make it easy for her nurse to get in without having to roll her wheelchair to the door. As much as I complained, she was too damn paranoid to give the healthcare agency a key.
A little annoyed, I reached for my keys and opened the door. As soon as I stepped inside, I gagged at the stench of stale cigarettes.
“Mommy!” I called between coughs. “Where you at?”
It wasn’t until I had cleared my throat that I heard moaning coming for the rear of the house. I dropped my purse and raced toward her bedroom. The last time my mother had fallen it had taken two days for someone to discover her.
I pushed her bedroom door open and braced myself for the worse. “Mommy, you—” My breath stalled. I shook my head to make sure I wasn’t seeing things but even when I opened them again the image was still there.
Mama in the bed getting busy with Uncle Todd.
He was in mid-stroke when I came barging in, and he leaped off my mother like a crusty old frog.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” I sputtered, while still trying to process what I was witnessing.
Of course his fake ass was the first to speak. “Jae, it’s—”
“Save it!” I screamed while I just stood there looking at the two of them in disgust. Here I was thinking Mommy’s moans had been a result of another fall. Yeah, she had fallen alright. Right onto Uncle Todd’s little-ass dick.
“Jae, I know you’re upset,” she managed to say.
I glared, while they tried to cover themselves up. “You couldn’t begin to know how I feel. The two of you disgust me!” With that I turned and left the room.
Uncle Todd called after me just as I was turning the knob to hurry out to my car.
“Jae, you hear me talking to you.”
Like a child who had been raised to respect her elder, I stopped, blew out a long breath then slowly turned around. There wasn’t shit he could say to explain what I had just seen, but I did as I was told, even though I felt two seconds away from throwing up.
“We need to talk.”
At least he had taken the time to put on a t-shirt and his pants.
“How can you betray my father like that?” All I could do was shake my head in disbelief.
“Your father has been dead for almost twenty years. He was my best friends. Don’t you think he woulda like to see me and your mother happy, even if it’s with each other?”
I gave him a look that said he knew better than that. As selfish as my father was he would rather we all be miserable as he was.
“But you’re my godfather. Why couldn’t you have picked someone other than my mother?”
He stuck his hands in his pocket and moved closer. “Claudette is a good woman. I’m not going to make excuses for loving her because I do. But we should have told you. I’m sorry.”
I brought a hand to my waist. “And how long has this been going on?”
Uncle Todd couldn’t even look me in the eyes, which meant it had been going on longer than I wanted to know. Maybe even while my father was still alive. I shook my head and this time he didn’t stop me from leaving.
I left the neighborhood, angry and frustrated. My perfect morning had been ruined. So much for not letting someone steal my shine.
I pulled up at the hotel where I had been staying, ready for a hot shower. As soon as I climbed out my car, I spotted Kaleb’s Range Rover rolling up beside me. I couldn’t get out the car fast enough before he dashed across the parking lot towards me. I swung around so fast, I saw him flinch.
“What do you want?” I asked through gritted teeth.
He smiled. “Babe, before you go off, hear me out.”
I dragged my purse over my shoulder and rolled my eyes. I’d been blowing off his calls for days, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to hear what he had to say. “What do you want?”
“I miss you.”
I tried not to get excited by his confession yet damn this man did things to me. But then there was that crazy side…
I glanced around to see if anyone was watching. Just in case Kaleb decided to go off again at least I would have witnesses. Sadly there were none.
“You gonna stand there and act like you don’t miss me.”
At his words I felt the area between my thighs spring to life, but I quickly shook it off. “Yes, I miss you but that doesn’t change anything.”
Kaleb looked at me with this knowing smile. “Yes it does. I know you love me and I love you, and as long as we have that we can work through anything.”
I stifled a laugh. “Work through what? You being controlling? That’s never going to change.”
“Yes, it will. Just give me time baby and I’ll work on it. I’ll even see a therapist if that will help.”
I was speechless. Maybe he was trying to change. “You’d do that for me?” I asked although I was still suspicious.
“Anything to have you back. I feel like someone has chopped off my right arm.” He leaned in to kiss me, but I drew back and he caught my ear instead. There was no way I could think straight with his hands all over my body. One touch and it’s a wrap. I had gone through his bullshit enough times to know that it was going to take me not putting up with his bullshit for things to finally change in our relationship.
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Just come back home.” He was practically pleading.
“I am home,” I snapped and didn’t mean to sound upset but I was. He was trying to play mind games with me again. Have me move all my shit over so he could get mad and send me packing again. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to go through that again.
“Babe, please. I love you too much to lose you.”
Kaleb then got down on his knee, pleading in the middle of the hotel parking lot. “Babe, I love you.” He took my hand in his and then reached inside his pocket. I spotted the engagement ring as he attempted to slip it back on but as good as it looked on my finger, I yanked my hand away. “Stop it!”
“Stop what?” he persisted. “Loving you? Wanting my fiancée back?” he sighed. “I messed up. Babe… I admit I scooped the poop, but it’s nothing we can’t fix.”
That was easy for him to say. I wasn’t the one who was crazy and wishy-washy.
I took a step back, putting a little space betwe
en us. He was wearing that new Armani cologne I bought him and it made me wanna bury my face at his neck and inhale.
He rose and signaled with his hand, “C’mon. Let’s go inside and talk.” As usual, Kaleb was trying to run things.
“How about we don’t.” I was getting a little annoyed at the way he was acting as if this was so simple. “I’m not ready yet to hear what you have to say. You said you’re willing to get help then do it, and when I see you’re trying to change, then I’ll be willing to listen!”
He was trying to maintain his composure but I knew he was ready to go off or so I thought. “Janelle, I will do whatever it takes to get you back in my life.” He tossed his hands up in surrender. “All this instability… I’m fucking up my son’s life.”
Now that was one thing I couldn’t argue. “Then get yourself together for your son’s sake, not mine.” At least I tried to sound sympathetic.
Kaleb shook his head. “There’s no me without you. Don’t you love me?”
There he goes with that Jedi mind-trick shit again. “Of course I love you. But love just isn’t enough.’
“Don’t say that. Love is what’s holding us together,” he insisted and I noticed him rocking on the balls of his feet the way CJ does when he’s nervous.
“But I need more than that to come back to you and for me to wear your ring again.”
“I’m going to get you back,” he said with a smirk. “That much I’m confident about. I love you and we’re good for each other. I don’t know why you can’t see that.”
“All I see is a man who wants to control me and every aspect of our relationship and I’m tired of living like that.”
“No, you just don’t like to listen!” Kaleb snapped.
See, I told you it was just a matter of time.
“Listen to what?” I was all up in his face now. “You ain’t my daddy. Nobody tells me what I can and cannot do. And until you get that in your thick skull we’ll never have a chance!”
Suddenly he was scared and we stared at each other silently.
“You’re right. I gotta let you be your own woman. And I’m gonna work on that and with the help of a good therapist, I know I can do it. I just ask that you don’t give up on us just yet. Give your man time to get his head on right. Please… I can’t lose you.” He sounded desperate I had yet to respond. “I’m getting ready to get this money and I need you. Babe I can’t lose you.”
At the mention of money I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him all was forgiven but that’s what he wanted me to do and then I would be back under his roof with him cracking the whip again.
However, the heart wants what the heart wants.
“Get it together then come back and talk to me.” I kissed his lips then went inside the hotel and didn’t bother to look back.
35
NYREE
“You need to leave that lying mothafucka alone! First, he lied about his kids, now you find out he’s been married three damn times! Girl…, I told you, you need to run the fuck away while you still can.”
I asked Janelle to come over because I needed someone to talk to. Ever since we had gotten back from Memphis on Sunday, I had been miserable. The ride home was long. While Jeremy pleaded his case, I completely tuned him out. Today he showed up at my job but I just didn’t want to hear shit he had to say. Thank goodness my realtor hadn’t sold my house yet.
However, as angry as I was, I hated myself because I was missing him like crazy. Jeremy had been sending me bible scriptures and texting me discussion topics from Our Daily Bread and I just couldn’t resist responding. I had never had a man who I connected with on a spiritual level before, so it was just hard. But I wasn’t no fool. He had not only embarrassed me but he did it in front of his family. Hell, they hadn’t even known we were engaged. I felt betrayed and used and I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to forgive him.
“Have you called and canceled the catering?”
I dragged my legs up to my chest and groaned. Damn. I had forgotten all about the wedding plans. Hell, I was supposed to pick up my wedding dress from the cleaners tomorrow. “No, I haven’t done anything.”
Janelle blew out a long breath. I knew she was getting tired of me. Hell, I was tired of sitting around all day feeling sorry for myself.
“Nyree, you need to figure out what you’re gonna do.”
“I know,” I spat and was frustrated at her for even bringing it up.
“I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t say I think you’re rushing things. Obvious after this incident you don’t know enough about him.”
“You gotta lot of nerve,” I snarled and glared over at her. How the hell she gonna talk about me when her ass was engaged as well?
“I gave Kaleb his ring back but even before that I wasn’t talking about marrying that crazy mothafucka.” Janelle shrugged. “I’m well aware Kaleb’s fucked up in the head. I make no excuses.”
“And that makes it right?” Sometimes she has the most ridiculous shit coming out of her mouth. Janelle crossed her legs and rolled her eyes. She hates hearing the truth.
“Whatever. We’re talking about you, not me. You have a wedding next weekend and almost two hundred guests coming. Are you marrying this dude or not?” Janelle sat there swinging her leg showing off her pink pumps.
“I don’t know.”
“Well then you better figure it out.” Rising, she moved toward my kitchen. “You want something to drink?”
I shook my head. Ever since our falling out I couldn’t eat or drink. All I could do was think about how much I missed him. No matter what he had done or said, he was still my soul mate. I could feel it in my bones. What I couldn’t understand was why he felt compelled to lie to me about stuff that I would eventually find out the truth about anyway. “I don’t know what to do.”
She sauntered back into the living room holding a Pepsi can in her hand. “Well, the only other option is to go talk to the fool and find out why he be lying like that.”
Janelle was right. We needed to talk but I just wasn’t sure yet if I was ready.
“What’s his family say?” Janelle asked between sips.
I blew out a breath and replied, “I spoke to his mama. She said she understands if I decide not to marry him. No one deserves to be treated that way.”
Janelle gave a rude snort. “Ain’t that the truth.”
I decided to ignore her response. “She said Jeremy has self-esteem issues. Always has. Feels like he has to try and be better than everyone else. He’ll do anything to make himself look good for attention. I don’t get it and neither does she.”
“Did he seem like someone with self-esteem issues when you first met him?”
I took a moment to think about that question. “Not at first, but since his daughter and the weekend at his parents, he’s been stuttering like crazy and putting himself down.”
Of course at any sign of weakness, Janelle turned up her nose. “Girl, he sounds too pathetic. I don’t know how you deal with all that.”
“Probably the same way you deal with that crazy man of yours, going off every other week.”
She gave me a silly smirk but I could tell my comment bothered her. “It adds excitement to the relationship.”
“We’re way too old for that kinda of excitement. That’s shit we do in our twenties.” I added with an eye-roll.
“Anyway…” Janelle dismissed my comment by a flick of her wrist. It kills that girl for me to be right.
“And what about Frankie? You can’t keep playing with him like that. You know he’s feeling you.” A few days ago I had run into Frankie in Walmart looking gorgeous as ever and all he could talk about was this heifer here. Hopefully, Janelle will wake up and realize what she has before it’s too late. “Trust me, someone as fine as him is not going to be single for long.” I could tell my comment really bothered Janelle. What the hell she expect Frankie to do? Continue to be her side-dick? “You really need to decide.”
Like I sai
d she is quick to flip the script if we’re talking about her.
“Uh-huh. Don’t you worry about Frankie. Now… what I need to know if we’re gonna have a wedding or not. I just bought a dress. I got an appointment for both of us next Saturday to get our hair done and the girls and I have planned a bachelorette party for Friday. Time is money, baby,” she added with a two-finger snap.
Before I could answer I heard the doorbell and my heart started pounding like crazy.
Janelle jumped up from the couch before I could. “Let me get that for you.”
I didn’t object and waited as she swung open the door. As soon as I heard her suck her teeth, I knew who it was.
“Hey Jae.”
“Jeremy… what can I do for you?” She blocked the door.
“Jae, go ahead and let him in,” I said because I just wasn’t in the mood for anymore drama.
“I guess,” she mumbled and stepped aside for him to enter. As soon as I saw him my mouth went dry and I hated the way I was feeling, yet I couldn’t deny how much I missed him.
“Hey Angel,” he said and I tried to ignore the look of remorse on his face. “Can I please talk to you… in private?” Janelle was still standing by the door with her arms crossed looking like she was ready to knock him upside his head.
“Jae, can you give us some privacy?”
“Whateva,” she mumbled then sauntered to her purse and swung the strap over her shoulder. “I expect you to call me tonight with an answer.”
As soon as she was gone, Jeremy walked around and took a seat on the couch. The same place he was sitting the last time we were dealing with his bullshit.
Finally, he looked at me. “Angel, I’m sorry.”
“You’re always fucking sorry!” I snapped.
“I know and I don’t know why I didn’t just tell you the truth.”
“Ya think? Especially since the truth was gonna come out eventually.”
“I know, I should have been honest. And I’m sorry,” he stammered, struggling for the right words. “I guess I wanted so badly to impress you that I was afraid you wouldn’t be interested in me if you knew the truth.”