Sleeves

by Chanse Lowell

  “I like you when you get rough, but seriously, what’s going on?”

  “What’s going on is we’re stepping this up a notch. If you’re gonna run from me, you’re gonna do it now. I can’t get deeper with you and then reveal who I really am later, only to have you run and take my entire heart with you.” He swallowed, reached for his pants on the floor and yanked the belt out of the loops then straddled her.

  “You’re not going to beat me, are you?” Her gaze was steady, and she didn’t even flinch.

  “C’mon. You know me better than that. I’m not into doing shit like that to you. What would that do for me? I didn’t like having pain when you touched me, and I don’t want that for you, unless it’s completely erotic related,” he answered.

  “Some people would argue spankings with a belt can be erotic.” Her lips thinned as she pressed them together. She reached out and stroked his thighs.

  “I’m sure they would, but I wouldn’t even begin to know how to do that to make it feel good and not strip your flesh off your bones. I’m stronger than the average guy, and I haven’t been with you enough to know when something like that would be too much. I’d hurt you, and I never want to do that.”

  “Then what are you doing with that belt?” She bobbed her head at it and stared at the buckle.

  “Trapping you.” He grabbed one hand, then the other, told her to clasp her fingers together, then he looped the belt around, securing them together. Fortunately, the headboard had slats, so he was able to bind her to it.

  “If you decide you do want out, that this isn’t for you, I want you to say ‘Robbie,’ then I’ll know he’s my only family, and you don’t want to be part of this,” he said, his heart hammering hard. What if he was already scaring her shitless?

  “Don’t even think that, Kel. I’m here. I want to be with you—I’m in this for however long you’ll want me. Why are you trying to push me away?” She blinked and her eyes glistened.

  Shit.

  “I have to know . . .”

  “Know what?”

  “That you can love a complete monster.” His voice was quieter, and his insides mellowed a little.

  She exhaled, and her eyes softened, then shed a tear on each side. “You’re no monster. You’re beautiful, sweetheart. I love everything about you, and if you’re broken, then I’m the definition of irreparable damage.”

  He stroked her inner arms. “You’re just saying that.”

  “I’m not. I used to be a junkie, and OD’ed more than once. That’s why I called the cops to save that dying man Hannah had left Robbie with. It was from personal experience, not training, that I knew what that man was going through. I knew how hard it would be on that little boy after seeing that shit. My parents ignored me.”

  He stopped breathing, and his heart about yanked out of his chest.

  “They had money, but never used it on me,” she continued. “I lost my ovaries because they waited too long before doing anything about the pains I kept complaining about. I might’ve kept them if they’d cared at all. I was taken out of their custody when I told a social worker what had happened. After that, I decided I wanted to be like her. She was my hero. Only I went off the deep end for a while—getting into drinking and heavy drugs. Whatever I could do to get my mind off the fact my parents didn’t care about me.”

  “Oh, shit . . . I didn’t . . .”

  She wiggled her wrists a little. “Untie me.”

  “Not until you see how awful I am.”

  “Why don’t you tell me what the worst thing is you’ve ever done, and see how I react?” She let her head lift for a moment and gazed at his chest, then her eyes shifted back to his face and her head fell back onto the pillow.

  “You’ve seen it. You witnessed me kill several people back there at the facility,” he answered.

  Her eyes narrowed a little.

  Shit. She wasn’t satisfied. His chest tightened.

  “I’m not referring to that, and that was for our survival. It was us or them, and who knows how many other people they might torture in the future.” She huffed. “Tell me the worst you’ve ever done sexually, since that seems to be what this is about. You’re saying you’re a monster while you’re on top of me naked, ready to prove you’re bad. Well, I’m not fucking buying this shit you’re shoveling. So,” her eyes tightened more, “tell me. What have you done to earn this prestigious title?”

  He freed her hands and set the belt aside. This wasn’t what he’d anticipated.

  “What am I supposed to say?” He flopped down on the bed next to her and stared up at the ceiling, his hands resting on his belly. His cock was still hard. He was still ready to show her he was a douche.

  “The truth. What could you possibly have done that would make me run?”

  “I touched another man, all right? I didn’t want to, but they wouldn’t touch me, and I needed it. They’d taken Hannah away as one of the assistants that was rewarding me with touch. I was going out of my mind.” Casey’s soft hands caressed his chest and she snuggled into him.

  “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

  “Yeah, I’m . . .” He exhaled with a grunt and closed his eyes. “I wanted anyone to touch me, but no one would, so I touched him, kind of seduced him until he touched me back. I knew he was homosexual, so I took advantage of it.”

  “Do you feel bad because you liked it?”

  “What the fuck?” He opened his eyes and glared at her. “Why would you even ask me that?”

  “Anger’s a mask for other feelings—shame, heartbreak, guilt and sometimes even pleasure. You shouldn’t feel bad. They were torturing you. There’s a small little boy in you, exactly like Robbie, and you needed some kind of affection, even if it came in a way you didn’t want it to. That’s not something to beat yourself up over.”

  “He fell for me, Casey. Am I not supposed to feel bad that they punished him for sneaking me food, bringing me shit I wasn’t supposed to have? They wound up killing him.”

  “Oh, God . . . I’m so sorry.” She kissed his chest, but he pushed her away.

  “Don’t do that.” He rolled away from her and wrapped his arms around himself, then curled into a ball. “I would’ve fucked him. I would’ve done it to get some kind of relief, to have some kind of control. He knew it, too. I was really close to doing it before they caught on to what was happening. I didn’t want to be with him that way, but I would’ve done it anyway.” His teeth ground together.

  She stroked through his hair and down his back. “Is that when Hannah came back?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And did they loosen up on the rules with her?”

  He nodded. “It was all so fucked up.”

  “She played you, hon. She knew you were broken over what happened with this other guy, so she took advantage. Now we know what she’s really like. She pretended to be an assistant because you’d trusted that guy who had been an assistant, when all the while she was in charge, calling the shots.” She kissed across his shoulder blades. “Oh, sweetie, what they did . . . It was so, so wrong. You are not broken. You’re the strongest, bravest man I know—surviving treatment like that. What they did to you emotionally and mentally was worse than the physical stuff.”

  Tears dripped out of his eyes; he chose not to acknowledge them.

  “So brave . . . So resilient, my sweet, sweet man. You could’ve turned into a bitter, resentful person and tortured them back there when you broke free, but you didn’t. You did what was necessary for self-defense. That makes you anything but a monster.” She stroked down the back of his ass and his hamstrings. His legs twitched and tightened.

  “But these people . . . That man, he was . . . He was a good person. He didn’t deserve to go through all that because of me.”

  “What was his name? Can you tell me?” Her touch went from a whisper to a smoothing stroke. It left chills and goose bumps behind.

  “Robbie . . .”

  “Oh fuck . . . That bitch will rot in hell.” He
r voice shook, filled with intense emotions.

  “I hope so. I truly hope so.”

  * * *

  Casey made love to him, slow and tender after his admission about the assistant Robbie he’d felt like he destroyed.

  Kel had never fucked like that before, and it was odd to let her be in charge, but the best part was how she touched him everywhere: behind the ears, on his eyelids, the crease at his inner thighs, behind the knees, and she even kissed his feet. This woman was incredible.

  He never knew anyone that loved so completely like she did.

  His heart melted.

  And then he absolutely crashed. Slept for hours.

  When he woke, Casey had showered, was dressed and asking what the plan was for the day.

  He scrubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and frowned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “My dick’s soft. It must be broken. You broke it, woman. Why’d you go and do that to me? I thought you liked me,” he teased.

  She smiled and flicked his big toe. “I love you, and it’s not broken. That thing needed a breather.”

  “The hell it does.” He reached for her, grabbed her hand and put it on his crotch.

  She chuckled and yanked her hand back. “I’m not a believer in spanking children, but your naughty boy inside could sure use one.”

  He flipped over onto his stomach. “Go for it. Use the belt if you like.”

  She smacked his right cheek playfully. “C’mon. Let’s make a plan. We should go get something to eat, buy us some more clothes, figure out how to get your mom back and then your little peanut.”

  He smiled. She’d avoided saying “Robbie,” and used “Peanut” instead, like he’d done. Maybe if his son was okay with it, he could call him by his middle name instead?

  Less morbid.

  “You figure out where to eat. I’ll go shower, and then we’ll contact Vanessa. I wanna make sure Peanut was taken care of.”

  “Are you ever going to explain how she owed you, or do I have to imagine her thong dangling off your sack while you stood on your head in the cage and she jacked you off?”

  “Oooh, I like that. Let’s try that now,” he said, pushing off the bed and tackling her onto it.

  She squealed and laughed hard, kicking her legs beneath him. “I’m not wearing a thong.”

  “You’re not wearing any underwear—for me, right? You knew it was pointless. Good girl. Mmm . . .” He nuzzled into her neck, wiggled back and forth on top of her, hugging her tight.

  “No, silly. I took yours. I hate going without.”

  “Oh, bummer.” He let go of her and allowed her to get away.

  He got up, scratched his chest and tripped his way to the shower.

  While he was soaping up, he remembered something Johnathan had said about a cure. They’d been working on one. Did they have something viable?

  Dread flooded his system. What if they did have one?

  Would Casey want it so she could go back to being normal?

  What of her job? If they were free of this mess, she needed to be able to touch people without it hurting her. She couldn’t remain like him, and why would she want to?

  He finished scrubbing up, turned off the shower and dried off quickly.

  His clothes were sitting on the counter. He got dressed, opened the door and she was sitting on the edge of the bed, using the phone provided, calling some place and asking for directions there.

  When she hung up, he said, “Vanessa owed me because I helped her out. She was here illegally, and I hooked her up with Max. He got her the proper paperwork to let her stay here, but he had to do some unethical things to get it done so quickly.”

  “Ooooh-kay, so wouldn’t that mean she’s indebted to Max and not you?”

  “Well, it’s complicated.” He ran his hands through his wet hair.

  She stared at him with an expectant look.

  “She needed money to bring some of her family over—she’s got a kid.” He shrugged.

  “So, you gave her money?” The left side of her mouth tipped down into a lopsided frown.

  “Yeah.”

  “Debt repaid then. She helped us escape, and that driver guy, Frank, gave you a wad of cash.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure she feels that way.” Another noncommittal shrug.

  “What’s that supposed to mean? How much money did you give her?”

  “A ridiculous amount.”

  “Why, and should I ask, how?” Her frown deepened.

  “When I first opened the club, I hooked up with this woman richer than you could believe. She bought me a really expensive car, paid cash for the fucker and gave it as a gift. I sold it, and gave Vanessa all the money.”

  “How much?” she repeated.

  “Around a hundred grand.”

  “Holy shit. No wonder she worships the sweat on your hairy sack.” She rolled her eyes.

  “My sack is only hairy in the good places.”

  She snorted then laughed. “You’re such a dick at times.”

  “It’s my best trait, ‘cause it’s so big and friendly.” He gave her the wiggle-wormy brows.

  She stood up and shoved him as she laughed some more.

  “How’re you going to contact her?”

  “Dunno yet. Let’s eat so my brain can fuel up, then we’ll decide how best to get in touch with her.” He put an arm around her shoulders.

  “I found a great place. We can walk there—it’s not far.”

  He nodded, kissed her cheek and then strolled to the door with her at his side. “Know-it-all,” he whispered in her ear as he leaned into her.

  “My best trait.” She tapped her temple. “Big, friendly brain. Very useful at times.”

  “So’s my cock. Paid the bills.”

  “Ugh, don’t get me started on all that.”

  “You loved being in the cage with me in my club. It was seedy, it was hot, dirty and smelled like a great way to get fucked.”

  She groaned. “It was a great way to climb inside your head for a moment and find out why you were torturing yourself like that. It wasn’t hard to figure out you were hurting more inside than you were on the outside.”

  “Is that so?”

  “It about crippled me, seeing the torment in your eyes, and I didn’t even know you. That’s why I was drawn to you. No one else cared, and it made it hard to breathe—knowing you were begging for help, and no one was hearing it over their sopping wet vaginas.”

  “Sopping? Good thing none of those seats had cushions,” he said, snickering.

  She gave him the look that said he was going a little overboard on the potty humor, so he stopped being an idiot. At least for now he’d quit.

  They made sure they had all their stuff and the key, walked out of the place, heading east down the road.

  She pointed to some waffle place.

  He laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Look at that sign.” He pointed.

  The W was missing.

  “Oh my God—we’re going to the ‘affle House?’”

  “Looks like it.” He sniffed. “I should fit right in. Maybe they’ll let me chain you to the chair. Should be fun. You’ll eat my sausage—high protein—and I’ll have an affle waffle. I like carbs.”

  She laughed along with him as they quickened their pace.

  It was so silly, their juvenile humor, but what else did they have right now besides each other, if not these small moments to joke about?

  “I love you so much, I feel drunk,” he confessed as he hobbled down the road next to her. “You make me loopy.”

  “Sorry—not taking credit for that. I think you were like this way before I landed on the scene.”

  “How do ya figure?” His brows popped up.

  She stopped walking and turned to him, gripping his arms. “The fact you thought I was the right person to even touch you in that cage and be in there with you, speaks to your lunacy.”

  She went right bac
k to heading to the affle House without another word.

  Chapter 12

  Something was different about Kel this morning. It was like his mind was on fast forward, rifling through files.

  It was dizzying, watching him.

  Before he went nuts, she needed to rein him in and tell him what she knew about the facility where they’d been held.

  Maybe if he had all the facts, it would all come together easier?

  He ordered something for both of them; she thought it was sweet he was taking charge like that, even if he didn’t know what she liked to eat. Lucky for him, she wasn’t a picky eater, and pretty much anything drenched in syrup was fabulous in her book.

  She loved pancakes, waffles, crepes. All of it.

  Dollop some whipped cream along with the drizzled sugary stuff, and she was in heaven.

  She stretched her legs a little under the table. They were cramping up like crazy.

  Her hands were tingling, too. She felt off somehow.

  But then she’d been through quite the ordeal over the last few days.

  The second her food arrived, she was inhaling it, couldn’t get enough food in her tummy.

  Everything tasted amazing as well.

  She licked her lips, gulped down her orange juice and enjoyed having Kel near as she relished the simple things like a decent meal and not being chained up.

  He stroked her thigh and watched her.

  “I fucked you until you were starving,” he said, his voice low and hungry.

  She nudged him with her elbow. “We can do that again later, right now I’m eating.”

  She shoveled a forkful of his pancakes and took a bite.

  “Slow down, bitch, or you’ll choke, and I never learned the Heimlich maneuver.” He chuckled.

  “I’m not gonna choke.” This time she elbowed him in the ribs.

  “Damn, woman, I better eat this before you down my entire plate.”

  She laughed and wiped her mouth with her napkin.

  When the waitress came by to check on them, Casey ordered some scrambled eggs and bacon.