Weird Detectives

by Neil Gaiman, Simon R. Green, Caitlin R. Kiernan

  “He doesn’t hate you, Lady Kuzunoha. He understands your reasons and accepts them, though he is very sad as you might imagine.”

  Lady Kuzunoha rose to her feet with one smooth motion. “Then why did my lord not come himself? Why did he send his warriors? Why did he send you?”

  “My patron said he did not trust himself to let you go if he ever held you again. I can not fault him in this.”

  She actually blushed slightly at the compliment, but pressed on. “You didn’t answer my other question.”

  “He sent his retainers and me for the same reason: we were looking for Doshi.”

  “My son? But why?”

  “To bring him home, Lady. Lord Abe lost you. He didn’t want to lose his son too. Maybe that’s selfish of him, but I think you can understand how he feels.”

  “But I do not understand,” Lady Kuzunoha said, and now the gentle, sad expression she had worn since leaving the waterfall was nowhere to be seen. She looked into my eyes and my knees shook. “Yamada-san, are you telling me that my son is missing?”

  I fought the urge to back away. “But . . . you didn’t take him?”

  “I . . . ? Of course not! Doshi’s blood may be mostly fox, but in Shinoda Forest that’s not enough. He could never have made a home in my world! Doshi belongs with his father.”

  I took a deep breath. “If that’s the case, then yes, Lady Kuzunoha—I’m telling you that your son is missing.”

  I’m not sure what I expected, but Lady Kuzunoha merely held out her hand. “Please return my dagger, Yamada-san. I promise not to use it on myself . . . or you.”

  I gave the knife back, carefully. “Do you have someone else in mind?”

  Her smile was the stuff of nightmares. “That remains to be seen.”

  I had more questions, but Lady Kuzunoha was in no mood to answer them, and I knew better than to test my luck. She was kind enough to see me safely out of the forest before she disappeared, but it was clear she had other matters on her mind besides my well-being. I, on the other hand, could think of little else.

  The bandit was right to call you a fool. You had no idea of how big a mess you were in.

  The youkai that Seita had warned me about should have been my first clue. Still, if Lord Abe had sent me chasing wild foxfire, there still might be time to get on the right trail. I didn’t like where I thought it was going to lead, but I had given my word, and that was the only thing worth more to me than my sword. I just hoped it didn’t have to mean more than my life.

  When I got back into Kyoto, the first thing I did was track down Kenji. It wasn’t that hard. He was at one of his favorite drinking establishments near the Demon Gate. Technically it was the Northeast Gate, but since that was the direction from which demons and evil spirits were supposed to enter, the name stuck. Naturally someone like Kenji would keep close to such a place. He said it was good for business.

  Business looked a little slow. For one thing, Kenji was drinking very cheap saké. For another, he was in great need of a barber; his head looked like three days’ growth of beard. I found a cushion on the opposite side of his table and made myself comfortable. Kenji looked at me blearily. He had one of those in-between faces, neither old nor young, though I happened to know he was pushing fifty. He finally recognized me.

  “Yamada-san! How is my least favorite person?”

  “Terrible, you’ll be pleased to know. I need a favor.”

  He smiled like a little drunken buddha. “Enlightenment is free but in this world all favors have a price. What do you want?”

  “I need to seal the powers of a fox spirit, at least temporarily. Is this possible?”

  He whistled low. “When all is illusion all things are possible. Still, you’re wading in a dangerous current, Yamada-san.”

  “This I know. Can you help me or not?”

  Kenji seemed to pause in thought and then rummaged around inside his robe, which, like him, was in need of a bath. He pulled out a slip of paper that was surprisingly clean considering from where it had come. He glanced at it, then nodded. “This will do what you want, but the effect is temporary. Just how temporary depends on the spiritual powers of the animal. Plus you’ll have to place it on the fox directly.”

  “How many bowls?”

  “Rice? For this? Yamada-san, I’ll accept three good bronze, but only because it’s you.”

  Reluctantly I counted out the coins. “Done, but this better not be one of your worthless fakes for travelers and the gullible.”

  He sat up a little straighter. “Direct copy from the Diamond Sutra, Yamada-san. I was even sober when I did it.”

  “I hope so, since if this doesn’t work and somehow I survive, I’ll be back to discuss it. If it does work, I owe you a drink.”

  He just smiled a ragged smile. “Either way, you know where to find me.”

  I did. Whatever Kenji’s numerous faults as a priest and a man, at least he was consistent. I carefully stashed the paper seal and headed for Lord Abe’s estate. I wasn’t sure how much time I had left, but I didn’t think there was a lot.

  There was less than I knew.

  Before I even reached the gate at the Abe estate, I saw a lady traveling alone. She was veiled, of course. Her wide-brimmed boshi was ringed with pale white mesh that hung down like a curtain, obscuring her features. I couldn’t tell who it was but her bearing, her clothes, even the way she moved betrayed her as a noble. A woman of that class traveling unescorted was unusual in itself, but more unusual was the fact that no one seemed to notice. She passed a gang of rough-looking workmen who didn’t even give her a second glance.

  Once the density of the crowd forced her to brush against a serving girl who looked startled for a moment as she looked around, then continued her errand, frowning. The woman, for her part, kept up her pace.

  They can’t see her.

  At that point I realized it was too late to keep watch at the Abe estate. I kept to the shadows and alleyways as best I could, and I followed. I could move quietly at need and I was as careful as I could be without losing sight of her; if she spotted me, she’d know that fact long before I did. I kept with her as the buildings thinned out and she moved up the road leading out of the city.

  She’s going to the Inari Shrine.

  Mount Inari was clearly visible in the distance, and the woman kept up her pace without flagging until she had reached the grounds of the shrine. Its numerous red torii were like beacons, but she took little notice of the shrine buildings themselves and immediately passed on to the path leading up to the mountain.

  Hundreds of bright red gates donated by the faithful over the years arched over the pathway, giving it a rather tunnel-like appearance. I didn’t dare follow directly behind her now; one backward glance would have betrayed me. I moved off the path and kept to the edge of the wood that began immediately behind the shrine buildings. It was easy now to see why hunters might frequent the area; the woods went on for miles around the mountainside. There were fox statues as well, since foxes were the messengers of the God of Rice; they were depicted here in stone with message scrolls clamped in their powerful jaws. The wooden torii themselves resembled gates, and I knew that’s what they were, symbolic gates marking the transition from the world of men to the world of the spirits, and this was the true destination of my veiled Lady. I didn’t want to follow her further but I knew there was no real choice now; to turn back meant failure or worse. Going on might mean the same, if I was wrong about what was about to happen.

  The woman left the path where the woods parted briefly to create a small meadow. I hid behind a tree, but it was a useless gesture.

  “You’ve followed me for quite some time, Yamada-san. Please do me the courtesy of not skulking about any longer.”

  I recognized the voice. Not that there was any question in my mind by then, but there was no point in further concealment. I stepped into the clearing. “Greetings, Lady Akiko.”

  Lady Abe no Akiko untied her veil and removed her bo
shi. She was showing her age just a little more in the clear light of day, though she was still very handsome. “Following me was very rude, Yamada-san. My son will hear of it.”

  “Perhaps there is a way we can avoid that unpleasantness, Lady, if not all unpleasantness. You’re here about your grandson, aren’t you?”

  She covered her mouth with her fan to indicate that she was smiling. “Of course. Family matters have always been my special concern.”

  Someone else entered the clearing. Another woman, dressed and veiled in a manner very similar to Akiko. “You said you’d come alone,” the newcomer said. It sounded like an accusation.

  “It was not my doing that he is here,” Lady Akiko said. “And it will make no difference. Surely you can see that?”

  “Perhaps.” The newcomer removed her boshi, but her voice had already announced her. Lady Kuzunoha. She glared at me as she approached. Now she and Lady Akiko were barely a few paces apart.

  “Yamada-san, this no longer concerns you,” Lady Kuzunoha said.

  “I respectfully disagree. My responsibility ends only when Lord Abe’s son is found.”

  Lady Akiko glared at her former daughter-in-law. “And this . . . this vixen who betrayed my son knows where he is! Do you deny it?”

  “Of course not,” Lady Kuzunoha said haughtily. “I know exactly where my son is. As do you.”

  Lady Akiko practically spat out the words. “Yes! With the person who took him!”

  “Yes,” Lady Kuzunoha said grimly. She drew her dagger. “Let us settle this!”

  “Pitiful fool!”

  It turned out that Lady Akiko already had her dagger unsheathed, concealed in the sleeve of her kimono. She lashed out and Lady Kuzunoha gasped in pain. She clutched her hand as her dagger fell uselessly into the grass. In a moment Akiko had Kuzunoha’s arms pinned at her sides and her dagger at the young woman’s throat.

  “One doesn’t survive so long at court without learning a few tricks. Or, for that matter, giving your enemies a sporting chance. Now prove the truth of my words, worthless vixen! Tell me before this witness where Lord Abe’s son is, and do not try any of your fox tricks else I’ll kill you where you stand!”

  “You will not taste my blood that easily, Old Woman.”

  The fight was far from over. Lady Kuzunoha’s power was gathering around her like a storm; the air fairly crackled with it. Lady Akiko held her ground, but the hand holding the knife was shaking, and I knew it took her a great effort to keep the blade pointed at Lady Kuzunoha’s throat.

  “Tell Yamada-san where Doshi is if you want to live!” Lady Akiko said. “And no lies!”

  “Why would he believe anything I say,” Lady Kuzunoha said calmly, “if he does not believe what I have told him before now?”

  I knew that, in a few seconds, anything I did would be too late. I stepped forward quickly, pulling out Kenji’s seal as I did so. Both women watched me intently as I approached. “Lady Kuzunoha, do you know what this is?” She nodded, her face expressionless.

  Lady Akiko wasn’t expressionless at all. Her look was pure triumph. “Yamada-san, you are more resourceful than I thought. I will recommend to my son that he double your fee.”

  I gave her a slight bow. “I am in Lord Abe’s service.” I concentrated then on Lady Kuzunoha. “If you know what this is, then you know what it can do to you. Do you truly know where your son is?”

  She looked resigned. “I do.”

  “That’s all I need. Please prepare yourself.”

  Lady Kuzunoha went perfectly still in Lady Akiko’s grip but before either of them could move again, I darted forward and slapped the seal on Lady Akiko’s forehead.

  “Yamada sarrrrrr—!”

  My name ended in a snarl of rage, but Lady Akiko had time to do nothing else before the transformation was complete. In Lady Akiko’s place was an old red fox vixen with three tails. Lady Kuzunoha stood frozen, blinking in surprise.

  There was no more time to consider. My sword was in my hands just as the fox gathered itself to spring at Lady Kuzunoha’s throat. My shout startled it, and it sprang at me instead. My first slash caught it across the chest, and it yipped in pain. My second stroke severed the fox’s head from its body. The fox that had been Abe no Akiko fell in a bloody heap, twitching.

  I had seen Lady Kuzunoha butcher two men with barely a thought, but she looked away from the remains of her former mother-in-law with a delicacy that surprised me. “I-I still had some hope that it would not come to this. That was foolish of me.”

  “She didn’t leave me much choice.”

  Lady Kuzunoha shook her head. “No, your life was already worthless to her. Doubly so since you knew her secret. Speaking of that, how did you know?”

  I started to clean my sword. “Lady Kuzunoha, I have just been forced to take a rather drastic step in the course of my duties. I’ll answer your questions if you will answer mine. Agreed?”

  She forced herself to look at Lady Akiko’s body. “There is no reason to keep her secrets now.”

  “Very well. There were two things in particular. Someone put me on the trail of a youkai that was pretending to be you. Once I knew that you didn’t send either it or those bandits, that left the question of who did. More to the point, you told me that Doshi was mostly fox, remember?”

  She actually blushed. “Careless of me. I did not intend . . . ”

  I smiled grimly. “I know, and at first I thought you’d simply misspoken. But, assuming you had not, for Doshi to be more than merely half fox meant his father was at least part fox himself. How could this be? The simplest reasonable answer was Lady Akiko. Did Lord Abe know about his mother? Or himself?”

  “No to both. Fortunately his fox blood was never dominant. Lady Akiko and I knew about each other all along, of course. She opposed the marriage but couldn’t reveal me without revealing herself. We kept each other’s secret out of necessity until . . . ”

  “Until Doshi was born?”

  She nodded, looking unhappy. “I knew by then I couldn’t stay, but I thought my son’s position was secure. I was in error. There was too much fox in him, and Lady Akiko was afraid his fox nature would reveal itself, and disgrace the family. The position of the Abe family was always her chief concern.”

  “If the boy was such a danger, why didn’t she just smother him in his sleep?”

  Lady Kuzunoha looked genuinely shocked. “Murder her own grandson? Really, Yamada-san . . . Beside, it’s easy enough to dedicate an unwanted child to some distant temple with no questions about his origin. In preparation, Lady Akiko had him hidden within the shrine complex; the Abe family is their foremost patron, so it was easy to arrange. Once I knew my son was missing it took me a while to follow his trail and to arrange a meeting.”

  “Duel, you mean.”

  She looked away. “Just so. While I may have hoped otherwise, it was destined that either I or Lady Akiko would not leave this clearing alive. Her solution to the problem of Doshi was quite elegant, but you were an obstacle to that solution and, once you found me, so was I.”

  “Which explains why she went to so much trouble trying to prevent me from finding you in the first place. Was she correct then? Won’t Doshi be a danger to the family now?”

  “Yes,” said Lady Kuzunoha frankly. “Yet my husband already knows that. Perhaps not how great a risk, I concede, but I don’t think that would deter him. Do you?”

  I finished cleaning my sword and slid it back into its scabbard. “No, but as grateful as he’s going to be at the return of his son, Lord Abe is going to be considerably less so when I explain what happened to his mother, proxy or no.”

  Lady Kuzunoha covered her mouth as she smiled. “Yamada-san, perhaps there is an ‘elegant solution’ to this as well. For now, kindly produce my lord’s proxy seal and we’ll go fetch my son.”

  That proved easily done. The presence of both the seal and Lady Kuzunoha herself was more than enough to send one of the shrine priests scurrying ahead of us to a small o
utbuilding near a koi pond. There we found Doshi in the care of a rather frightened wet nurse. Lady Kuzunoha paid off the poor woman generously, thanked her for her solicitude, and sent her on her way. The baby looked up, lifting its little arms and gurgling happily, as Lady Kuzunoha smiled down at him.

  “Probably time you were weaned, my son.” She turned to me. “Please take him, Yamada-san. You’ll need to get him back to his father quickly; he’ll have to make his own arrangements for Doshi’s care. I will give you some writing to take to my husband before you leave.”

  I hesitated. “Don’t . . . don’t you wish to hold your son? This may well be your last chance.”

  She smiled a sad smile. “Thank you for that offer, but I can only echo the words of my lord in this, Yamada-san: if I held him again, what makes you think I could let him go?”

  I had no answer to that, but I did have one last question. “One thing still bothers me: you were unable to maintain the deception of being human, but Lady Akiko had been in the family much longer than you. How did she manage?”

  Lady Kuzunoha laughed softly. “Yamada-san, as I told you before: the mask will slip, and we cannot control when or how. For me, my right hand would turn into a paw without warning. For Lady Akiko, it was her scent.”

  I blinked. “Scent?”

  She nodded. “Her true scent, as a fox. But the human nose is a poor tool at best. Those close to her would either miss the scent entirely or at worst mistake it for . . . something else,” she finished, delicately. “Lady Akiko was simply luckier than I was.”

  That may have been so, but Lady Akiko’s luck had finally run out. I was afraid that mine was about to do the same.

  Lord Abe received me in his private chambers after I placed his infant son back in the care of his servants.