Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  This thing is a mystery and I do not know who lies or why. If Lese is innocent, she could suffer death. If guilty, she could still suffer torture and death. How can I speak out against the akito or her without the truth? What can I do to help us now?

  Black Cloud was telling Brave Bear the akito was there as Matu had claimed. “She is truly my cunwintke. She will go home with us this very day. She will be joined with you on the next full moon. We will first give her the time to learn her new home and accept it and her true people.”

  Gray Eagle knew his hands were tied for now. There was nothing he could do without risking Alisha’s life. Even if she were guilty of some trickery, he knew he still wanted her and did not want to see her killed. He had surely given her enough cause to hate him, to want to be free of him and to do anything to escape him. He wished he had the power and courage to take advantage of the akito. It was impossible to stop a chief from claiming his own daughter, whether Alisha was truly Black Cloud’s child or not. Gray Eagle had to let her go or see her dead. He had no choice. At least with her alive, he stood a chance of finding a way to get her back. That is, if he could find that way in five days. He had to!

  Just as Gray Eagle swore his resolution, Alisha looked over at him and said, “Sell me or even give me away if this is what you wish. I don’t care anymore. I hate you! I will be happy to never see your face ever again. It will be a great relief to never have to feel your touch again. You can never hurt me or use me again. I shall cut you out of my heart with your knife of cruelty. To me, you are dead!”

  Gray Eagle felt fear leap in his heart as he watched the bitter coldness growing in Alisha’s features. She went on, “The past two days have been your most brutal torture of all. To let me think you ... we ... how you must laugh at me and my stupidity! I was a fool not to realize your full hatred and contempt for me when you tried to beat me to death. I was right when I told Powchutu you only wanted me back because I had cheated you out of torturing me more! I foolishly believed his naive explanation. I have been so stupid and naive! No more! My one assurance is the knowledge there is no man alive you could sell me to who could ever be half as cruel as you! Surely you are the Devil himself and I have lived in Hell!”

  How could I have done this to you, Lese? Gray Eagle inwardly wept. Do you really believe what you are saying? Why shouldn’t you, after how I mistreated you. What can I do or say to you that would make any difference now? To speak out would surely bring your death. If I didn’t mention the akito, you would never believe I could love and want you and then send you away with them. If I told you the truth, what good would that do? You would only resist them and try to convince them you are not Shalee. They would kill you. I can do nothing for now. Love me and trust me, Lese, Gray Eagle’s heart cried out.

  Alisha became aware of the warrior before her unlacing the bodice of her dress. She glared at him, then closed her eyes tightly, forcing a tear to squeeze out and slide down her cheek. She stood as rigid as a marble statue as he lifted the garment over her head and removed it. So he wishes to see all of what he bargains for, she thought bitterly.

  She inhaled deeply, her chest rising and falling gently. The pinkness from her cheeks spread down her neck and graced her chest. Still, she did not plead, cry or resist. Gray Eagle watched her, concerned by her distant mood. Had she given up? Was she conceding defeat to them? Did it no longer matter to whom she belonged? He angrily realized she did not fight another man’s undressing her or looking at her naked. He recalled her reaction to the Teepee Sa as he closely observed her mood and reaction to Brave Bear’s actions. This was something new and different in her—total surrender to whatever he chose to do to her. He inwardly raged at his inability to stop this.

  Alisha was thinking much the same as Gray Eagle. What good did it do to try to shield herself from the warrior’s touch? If he wanted to see all of her, he had the strength to do so. Hadn’t she learned the futility of defiance from Gray Eagle? It would only make things worse for her if she resisted him. What did it matter?

  Alisha hadn’t realized that as she struggled with Brave Bear, she had torn the scabs loose on her back. Her dress was soaked in red, sticky blood. Black Cloud had ordered her dress removed to tend the wounds before they left. When the dress was off, he wanted to be told once more why this terrible thing had been done to his daughter. Gray Eagle bitterly related the story of what had taken place. Black Cloud asked for salve made from the mountain herbs he brought to rub upon her back and seal the welts to stop the bleeding.

  Alisha was unaware of the pain in her back, for the pain in her heart was much greater. It was as if Gray Eagle had shot white-hot arrows into it. She retreated into her inner self to avoid facing her predicament. She forced herself to think of other times and places. She did not feel the salve rubbed onto her back. She did not notice the look of admiration for her beauty on Brave Bear’s face, nor the look of desire for her in his eyes. She did not feel the tremors in his body as he pulled her nude body to his chest to peer over her shoulder to view her back. The warmth and softness of her breasts against him stirred feelings of intense passion and protectiveness for her. His face went livid with rage at the marks on her soft, white flesh. He glared at Gray Eagle in fierce hatred, who returned his look at the way he held Lese’s body so close and intimately. He fought the urge to draw his knife and strike him dead and the desire to blurt out the entire truth to Alisha. His logic and wisdom warned him to do neither. Brave Bear ignored the threat written in Gray Eagle’s eyes.

  Gray Eagle was recalling the hunger he had endured for Alisha between the day he first saw her in the wasichu fortress and the day he captured and possessed her. He remembered his greater suffering during her stay at the fort. That time, he could not even wait to get her back to his teepee to take her. Thoughts of Alisha together with Brave Bear infuriated Gray Eagle. He raged, I will surely kill him if he touches her...

  Brave Bear pulled a clean dress over Alisha’s head and laced it up. He tilted her chin up to look at him as he gently touched her cheek and smiled. The look he gave her told her it was now done: she belonged to him. She realized he had redressed her in a clean, fresh dress and was grateful; at least she wouldn’t be led away naked.

  Alisha had thought nothing could hurt more than the incidents at the fort, but now she knew better. She knew she loved Gray Eagle and would be forever pushed from his life and embrace. How could she possibly endure losing him forever? How could she face life as another Indian’s slave, even one so handsome and seemingly kind as this one?

  Anguish flooded her heart, as she thought, Why does fate deal these cruel blows? Why did I allow Cupid to pierce my heart with love’s cruel arrows? Instead, why could they not soften his heart toward me? It is not fair to allow me to feel and taste his love and then brutally snatch it away from me so soon.

  Powchutu! Where are you? Why are you not here to help me and protect me from this treacherous evil?

  Gray Eagle had painfully observed as she submitted to this outrage, knowing he was unable to stop any of it. It was beyond his power and must be left in the hands of the Great Spirit. To openly defy would call for a challenge. He must try something else first. A challenge would cause too much enmity between the two tribes, probably even war. He must bide his time until he could come up with a peaceful solution.

  Black Cloud refused to hear of leaving Alisha until the joining day. Brave Bear refused to give up his claim on her. They both refused to hear of his joining with Shalee, their name for Alisha.

  Never before had Gray Eagle felt so helpless and worried. Never had his patience worn so thin, nor his anger flamed so bright. Only his many years of careful training hid these intense emotions from them. His temper and rage had shown itself more today than ever. His rigid self-control had taken a beating. The indomitable warrior of the region was as helpless as a newborn babe!

  Black Cloud announced they would leave immediately for his camp. He would send his other two braves who were waiting outsid
e on ahead to order preparations for their coming. He would also send Matu with them to care for his daughter after their return. Gray Eagle allowed Matu to leave with them. He needed her alive until this mystery was settled, then ...

  Brave Bear took Alisha’s arm and gently pulled her forward. She opened her eyes, but kept them downcast as she followed him outside. She bitterly wondered, Where is the leash for the purchased beast this time? The deal has been made and I must go with him. She was certain now it was not a trick, or a scheme to frighten her. He was really going to trade her and send her away. She had hoped at the last minute he would... but she knew he would not change his mind.

  The horses were brought to the front of the teepee. They asked if she knew how to ride alone. Gray Eagle nodded yes, telling them of her expertise on the horse. Black Cloud mounted a black and white pinto, sitting tall and erect upon its back. Brave Bear placed his strong hands on her tiny waist and lifted her easily to the back of a chestnut roan. He mounted his own horse which was as white as a ghost.

  Alisha lifted her eyes to stare at the distant horizon as she heard Brave Bear’s deep voice addressing the Oglala people. She didn’t even try to listen and figure out what he was saying to them. Why should she? It was of no interest to her.

  Brave Bear told the proud, dauntless Oglala the Great Spirit had placed the life of the cunwintke of Chief Mahpiya Sapa into their care for a short time. They would be blessed and rewarded for sparing her life and protecting her. He had given them a vision which told them to rescue her and bring her here until they could come for her.

  “She is not wasichu! She is Si-ha Sapa! She is the child of Chief Mahpiya Sapa! She bears his akito. She will return to her people. On the full moon, she will join with me. We will send many gifts to show our gratitude for your protection.”

  The Oglalas stared in astonishment. This was the reason for her protection from the Great Spirit and the meaning of His vision to them. This was why Alisha had touched a special feeling in the heart of their great warrior. They saw the look on the face of Wanmdi Hota. They could tell he did not want to give her up, and most of them knew the real reason why. He had been the first one to see and know this girl was rare and special.

  They felt shame at their treatment of her, but how could they have known she was one of them? The Great Spirit had chosen his own time to reveal the truth to everyone. Still, they should have guessed how important she was and treated her better, as a koda. She was going back to her people and would soon join with the chief’s son.

  Alisha thought the cheer which rose from the crowd was happiness and relief at her impending departure from their camp and the life of their beloved warrior. Chela breathed a prayer of gratitude that she had not killed her, and for the fact she would finally be out of the life of Wanmdi Hota before their joining. The look on his face told Chela that Alisha would be out of his life, but not out of his heart.

  White Arrow stared in total disbelief. Alisha was Shatee! She is leaving here forever! She is lost to him for good, and to me ...

  Brave Bear took no chance Alisha might be tempted to flee in fear. He took the reins of her horse, forcing her to cling to the horse’s mane.

  Gray Eagle could not let her go without some small sign from him. He could not bear that lost, sad look in those same eyes which had sparkled with life and love for him just yesterday. He touched her slim leg and softly spoke her name, “Lese...”

  She would not acknowledge his word or presence. She slowly lifted the beautiful wanapin from her neck and dropped it to the ground. She wound her fingers into the horse’s mane as she had done many times before in a time and place far, far away.

  She spoke her last words to him, or in truth, to herself, “Give the wanapin to your next kaskapi and witkowin. Betrayer!” Almost inaudibly she whispered, “For as long as I live and breathe, I shall hate you with all my heart and curse the day I first met you...”

  She kneed her horse and moved up beside Brave Bear. She mockingly addressed him, “It appears I am now yours. So be it.” The pain in her voice and the meaning of her words cut Gray Eagle’s heart like a razor.

  Brave Bear gave the command for them to leave.

  Chapter Four

  Gray Eagle and White Arrow watched as the three rode away. They remained rooted to that spot until the last bit of dust had resettled and Alisha was lost from sight. He held the wanapin tightly in his grip for a long time, then placed it around his neck.

  He called to Little Beaver and Running Elk to join him. They went to his teepee to talk and plan. They decided to send Little Beaver and Running Elk to the Paha Sapa to tell his father of all that had happened and to bring him to the camp of Mahpiya Sapa as quickly as possible. The two chiefs had been close friends and allies for many winters. If anyone could help Gray Eagle change the old chief’s mind, it was his father. Gray Eagle and White Arrow were to ride to the camp of Grota to find Powchutu to speak to Alisha for him. The two groups of warriors prepared themselves and rode out swiftly in separate directions on different missions. There was a full moon due in only five days...

  Little Beaver and Running Elk were two of the warriors who had witnessed the vision with him and believed Alisha belonged here with their koda. They rode with very few stops for resting and eating. Their great leader and friend needed their help and they would try not to disappoint him. If necessary, they would battle to get the girl returned to him!

  Gray Eagle and White Arrow rode for two grueling days to get to Grota’s camp. only to find Powchutu gone on a hunting trip. They nervously paced around waiting for his return. At dusk, he arrived and was very surprised to find them here. Why had the great Wanmdi Hota come to see him, a half-breed? Had something happened to Alisha? He suspiciously approached the two Oglala warriors.

  Gray Eagle related parts of what had happened omitting the entire truth. He asked for Powchutu’s help.

  “So, she is the daughter of Black Cloud and a white woman. It is good! But why do you come to tell me of this?” His delight at this news was clearly evident on his face. Was there a sneer below it? Gray Eagle’s neck prickled in warning.

  He stated simply, “I come because I need your help. You can speak the Oglala, wasichu and Si-ha Sapa tongues. You must talk to her and the Si-ha Sapa for me.”

  Powchutu scoffed and answered, “I have never known the great warrior Wanmdi Hota to need anyone’s help. Why do I need to speak for you?”

  “You must come with us to the camp of Mahpiya Sapa and convince them to let her join with me and not Mato Waditaka.”

  “Join with youl” Powchutu nearly shouted. “After all you have done to her, do you think that I, her koda, would ask them to let her marry you? I do not think Mahpiya Sapa would wish you to marry his daughter. Your cruelty to her is no secret, Wanmdi Hota. No! I will not go!”

  Gray Eagle firmly stated, “I think she will be happiest with me, Powchutu. I believe she loves me, even though she tries to hide this from herself and others. She was happy before they came to take her away. This could someday cost her life,” he mysteriously added, but Powchutu did not comprehend Gray Eagle’s last statement.

  Instead, Powchutu asked harshly, “Why do you call her Lese? Why would you think she feels anything but hatred and fear for you?”

  He answered, “Lese is the name her family called her and she calls herself when she tries to speak with me. I know many of the wasichu words and know she once told me she loved me. Also, I have seen this in her eyes and felt it in her touch.” He did not tell Powchutu he spoke the wasichu tongue fluently.

  But Powchutu sensed there was more to this situation than he told. He asked uneasily, “When she spoke these words of love to you, did she know that you heard and understood? Did you also hear and know when she begged for mercy from you? Did you try to calm her fears and tell her of your feelings?”

  Gray Eagle winced and nodded no. He scowled and replied, “Not She did not know. I heard her cries for mercy, but could not change what happened. It wo
uld have hurt her more to know I understood and did not help her. I needed time to show her these things first and time for her to learn obedience and trust.” He was angry at having to explain his innermost secrets and motives to this man. Still, he knew he must have his help. Lese trusted him and would listen to him.

  Powchutu flamed at Gray Eagle’s deceit. “I cannot help you, Wanmdi Hota. You are wrong for her. She has suffered much because of you. I will not speak for you. Leave her in peace.”

  As he turned to walk away, Gray Eagle asked, “I ask you to think on it until morning before you decide, Powchutu. Once she is joined with Mato Waditaka, we can do nothing to help her.”

  Powchutu focused his ice-hard eyes on the Oglala warrior and replied, “If I asked for her hand in joining, it would not be to you. It would be to me! I would love her more than you could ever hope to. I do not carry the hatred in my heart for her color as you do. She has never been my enemy, nor I hers. When I look at her, I only see Alisha. You do not and never will!”

  Angered by his revelation, Gray Eagle shouted at him, “You must be aware she could never marry a hanke-wa ...” He halted.

  Powchutu finished for him, “... Wasichun. She does not care if I am! It has made no difference between us before. She will be better off with Mato Waditaka than either of us. He is also a great warrior. He will love and protect her. She will never feel hatred and cruelty again with him and his people. Leave her alone this time. Let her find love and happiness with him.” He walked away with mixed emotions of joy and jealousy at this sudden and unexpected turn of events in Alisha’s life.

  White Arrow said to his friend, “I will go after him and speak with him. He may listen to me. I have done her no harm and she was my koda. If he knows this, he will listen.”

  Gray Eagle sat down by the campfire and waited as White Arrow went after Powchutu, calling for him to wait up just a bit more. “Powchutu, I must talk with you. It is clear you love her also, but I am sure she loves Wanmdi Hota. I have seen how she looks at him, especially since she has returned from the fort. She may have told you about him while she was there. Many things have changed since their last unhappy parting, for she now belongs with him.”