Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  “What is wrong, Alisha? What are you doing awake here? Wanmdi Hota said he gave you a sleeping potion to help you relax and sleep tonight. You should have slept until morning.”

  Powchutu watched her ashen face as he bombarded her with questions. What was the matter with her? He caught her full expression and panic. He asked, alarmed, “Alisha, what is it? You’re as pale as snow. Tell me!”

  She met his steady, worried gaze and said, “I was asleep, Powchutu. But something woke me. I drank some of the juice, but it tasted bad so I poured it on the ground under the skin while Wanmdi Hota wasn’t looking. I didn’t know it was drugged then. Later, I didn’t know if it was drugged or poisoned. I wouldn’t put it past him to try to get rid of me for good this time! I wish now it had been poison or I had drunk it all. Then, I would have slept through this whole nightmare.”

  Powchutu grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, saying, “Alisha, you don’t know what you’re saying. You know he wouldn’t try to kill the daughter of Mahpiya Sapa. Never wish for a thing such as death!”

  He was alarmed by her hysterical laughter at his second statement. Did she really believe Gray Eagle would kill her? Did she fear him that much? Gray Eagle was also asking himself those same two questions.

  Powchutu stared at her in confusion and asked, “What are you saying? You aren’t. making sense. What nightmare?”

  Her voice carried anguish and chagrin when she spoke. “This whole crazy, dangerous farce! Don’t you see, Powchutu? It’s all a joke on me! They lied ... he lied ... it serves me right for even believing such an idiotic thing could possibly be true! Once again, stupid, naive Alisha shows her ignorance of life and people! I would laugh if I didn’t want to cry instead.” She began to weep bitterly. He enfolded her in his strong, comforting embrace.

  He spoke soothingly, “Don’t cry, my love. It’s just the wanhu juice making you think and feel this way. It has your mind all mixed up. He wouldn’t harm you. Of course, you’re Shalee. The akito ...”

  She jerked backwards and interrupted him, “That’s the trick, Powchutu! Matu put it there when I was unconscious after the icapsinte. I had a scar there in the shape of a half-moon. She must have seen it and altered it to look like Mahpiya Sapa’s akito. But I don’t know why she did it or who knows the truth about it. Suddenly, I remembered the accident I had as a child which made the scar.”

  Powchutu argued, “Alisha, she wouldn’t do a thing like that. You’re just overly tired, confused by the potion and all that’s happened today. Your mind is playing tricks on you, that’s all. Come, I’ll take you back to your teepee.”

  She adamantly retorted, “Not my mind, Powchutu, but Matu’s hand! I am not confused or crazy. Let me tell you everything and then you’ll see I’m right. God help me, for I am right ...”

  She nervously paced around as she related everything she had found. She left no thought or feeling covered in her recounting. When she had finished, she asked him, “Don’t you see now, Powchutu? That was why I always felt fear and danger around her. Those were the memories which kept nagging at my mind, but I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, recall. I tried to tell you and the chief I was not and could not possibly be this Shalee. Why did you force me to accept this lie? Now I am trapped by it, and by Gray Eagle. I will never know when he might spring his trap and let it crush me ...”

  Powchutu fearfully studied the items in his hand and reasoned, “You are right about it being against their laws for anyone to have these things or use them except the ceremonial chief. I don’t know how Matu came upon them, but I believe all you said. We must find the reason for the treachery from her. These things are sacred and should not be here. I think perhaps she is the only one who knows of this.”

  Alisha lifted terrified eyes to his and asked, “But what if Gray Eagle has learned of this trickery? What if he thinks I am a part of it? He might only be waiting until the best moment to pounce upon me with his discovery. They’ll kill me, Powchutu! My only protection and security here was being this girl Shalee, and when he shatters that illusion tomorrow ...” She trembled in uncontrollable terror and nearly fainted.

  He grabbed her and said, “You better sit down. You look as if you’re about to faint. I’ll get some water and you can drink it and splash some on your face.”

  As he was giving her the water, he asked, “But what if he doesn’t know anything? What if only Matu knows? I can’t imagine her motive, but I believe she did this in secrecy.”

  “But if she did it for revenge against this Jenny and blurts it out at the ceremony tomorrow night, the results will be the same, my torture and death! Gray Eagle will be consumed with rage that he had challenged for a white girl and then was about to marry her. Can you think of anything worse for a warrior like him to be shown this publicly? That honor you spoke of so often would take its worst beating and he would hold me, me, Powchutu, responsible for it! I am surely doomed. There is no way out of this charade. Matu has always hated me. This won’t be the first time she’s arranged for me to suffer because of her tricks. Could she really hate me enough to put her own life in danger this way?”

  Recalling the event of a few days ago and this very afternoon, she answered her own question, “Yes, she would. Chela hated me enough to want my death at the risk of her own. Just as Gray Eagle risked his life this very afternoon to get me back in his power for further revenge. Why do they all hate me so much, Powchutu? What did I ever do to them? Is it me or what I am that instills in them this great hatred for me and desire to hurt me?” She began to cry again.

  At that moment, the flap was lifted and Matu came in. Her eyes quickly took in the weeping girl, her angry friend, and what he held in his open hand. She hastily tried to flee, but Powchutu grabbed her by her arm and pulled her back inside.

  He nearly shouted at her, “Why, Matu? Why?”

  She turned her nose up at him in contempt and silence. He shook her roughly and demanded, “Why did you do this to her? What has she ever done to you?”

  Still, Matu only stared at him coldly and belligerently in stubborn silence. Again, he asked, “Who knows about this? Does Wanmdi Hota or Mahpiya Sapa?”

  The last name brought a reaction from her and she glared at him. She had thought no one would ever find out what she had done. Dare she trust these wasichus with the truth?

  Alisha stood up and stepped before her. She gazed into the face of the old woman and pleaded, “Why, Matu? They will surely kill me tomorrow. Does Wanmdi Hota know about this? Is he a part of it?” Powchutu translated for both of the women as they spoke.

  Matu replied to her, “Matu wanted to come home. Matu gone too long. Matu see scar after beating by Wanmdi Hota. It sign from Napi! Matu change scar to match Mahpiya Sapa’s akito. Ska wincinyanna look like his old squaw. Mahpiya Sapa unhappy many winters. Matu unhappy many winters. You unhappy many moons. Matu see and fix, now all happy and Matu home again. You good winyan and suffer much at hands of Wanmdi Hota. Chela suffer, too. I fix! I put you with Mato Waditaka and Chela with Wanmdi Hota. But Wanmdi Hota still want you, not let Mato Waditaka keep you. No matter. Only Matu know of akito and truth. You stay cunwintke of Mahpiya Sapa and Matu stay here with Si-ha Sapa. I save you, now you save Matu? Tell no one! Then all stay happy and free. After akito fixed, you rescued by bluecoats. Matu must wait for your return from fort. All is good now. On new moon, you join with Wanmdi Hota. Matu see and know you love him. I home and no longer shamed. You safe and happy. It is donel”

  Alisha stared dumbfounded as Powchutu. related Matu’s words. She asked, “Could she possibly be telling the whole truth, Powchutu? Did she do this for both of us? But if they find out, they will still kill me. She will probably only be punished, but I would be ...” Sheer terror crossed her face as she finished, “I cannot even imagine what he would do to me.”

  Matu gently touched her arm and said, “No worry! Matu come home to die. Matu old. Will tell no one. You no tell no one and be Indian winyan. Matu be happy ... Mahpiya Sapa be happy .
.. You be happy with Wanmdi Hota ...”

  She made it all sound so easy, but it was not. Tears filled Alisha’s eyes as she thanked Matu for what she was foolishly trying to do for all of them. “She doesn’t realize I can never be happy with him for he’ll never allow it. I can’t tell anyone about this, Powchutu. She only wanted to come home and be with her people. I can’t blame her for that. She did try to help me. If they do find out, I will take the entire blame. There is no need for both of us to suffer and die. I’ll say I had it done at the fortress or something. Tell her to deny any knowledge of it, other than being the one to find it. I owe her that much.”

  Powchutu told Matu Alisha’s last words. She asked, “You do this for Matu?” She gazed at Alisha in astonishment and smiled. “I right! You good winyan. Napi will guard life of ska wincinyanna with pi-zi istas and Indian heart.”

  Powchutu warned Alisha, “No one must ever learn of this. Trust no one with this secret, Alisha, no one!”

  Alisha looked up at him with wretched eyes and asked, “How will I ever hide it from him, Powchutu? He reads me like an open book. Besides, I’ve never been any good at lying or concealing things. At least that’s what my mother used to tell me all the time. My mother would call me ‘Mirror Eyes’ whenever I was upset.”

  Powchutu advised, “Return to Mahpiya Sapa’s teepee and act as if nothing is wrong. We will talk tomorrow. It will be a long, trying day for you. You must get some sleep.”

  “Sleep!” she retorted. “How can I possibly sleep when my whole world is falling apart and I could be dead tomorrow?” With these words, she ran crying from Matu’s teepee. She moved quickly through the darkness to her teepee and threw herself down upon the mat and sobbed.

  Powchutu remained behind for a short time to be sure everything was settled with Matu. He had to make sure she held no hate or vengeance in her heart for Alisha. He must be absolutely sure this old woman offered no threats to his beloved.

  Alisha was startled when Wanmdi Hota gently seized her by her arms and pulled her up to face him. Tears were streaming down her ashen face and brightly flushed cheeks. Her wide, sad eyes spoke of total defeat.

  She quietly said to him in a small voice filled with anguish, “As always, Wanmdi Hota, you are the victor. There is no fight left in me. Do as you will with me. It matters not anymore.”

  He knew her will and spirit were at last broken, but somehow it did not please him as he had thought it would.... To confront Alisha when he already knew the truth would only complicate matters now. Again, deadly silence was a necessity!

  Powchutu entered. He had come to be sure she had reached her teepee and was all right. He should have been suspicious at why Gray Eagle did not question Powchutu’s being in Alisha’s teepee.

  Gray Eagle looked at him and said, “Tell her she must not fear me so. I would not harm the daughter of Mahpiya Sapa.” He had intended for his words to make her think her secret was safe and still hidden. But it had the opposite effect on her and she stonily glared at him.

  Her thoughts screamed, does he know? Does he suspect? Did his words sound ominous? Surely not. My imagination is only playing wicked tricks on me. He couldn’t know, could he?

  He realized the devastating effect his words had taken. He had not relieved her fears, he had only heightened them. He quietly said, “Tell Shalee to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a busy day. She is very upset tonight. I am surprised the wanhu juice did not help her relax and sleep. Ask her if she would like for you to bring her some more?” To anyone listening, his words and tones sounded full of concern and tenderness.

  Powchutu related his query. She looked at him and nodded yes. He asked Powchutu to go to the pezuta teepee for it. While he was gone, she tried to avoid meeting Gray Eagle’s keen, searching eyes. He stood up and walked to the peg to retrieve the wanapin she had placed there earlier. He put it back around his neck, until she decided she was ready to accept it again.

  He came back to where she was sitting and sat down before her. She nervously toyed with the necklace and wristlets. She fingered the small teeth on the necklace and traced the designs on the wristlets. He put his hand out and caressed her long, silky hair and ivory cheek.

  He was thinking of how very beautiful and innocent she had looked tonight, but also how very vulnerable and frightened. She tried to move away from his touch, so he pulled his hand away and let it rest in his lap.

  Powchutu returned with the wanhu juice and handed it to Gray Eagle. He passed it to Alisha with these words, “Tell her to drink it all this time, not empty it under the mat. Tell her I knew she would need something to help her relax and sleep this night. This has been a hard day for her as well as others.” His slightly mocking tone had gone serious at his last statement. The devilish twinkle in his ebony eyes had softened to tenderness. She was terribly confused by this.

  When Powchutu related his words, she flamed red and shot him a look of surprise. “Does nothing escape your keen eyes?” She took the juice and drank all of it as Powchutu looked on.

  “Very little happens around me that I do not see or learn, Shalee. So do not ever try to deceive me, Cinstinna, for your eyes always reveal the truth ...”

  She blanched white at those words. She stared at him, trying to decide if he was trying to tell her something more than a future warning. What was there about this man that totally unnerved and bewitched her? Her weary brain cried and begged, leave me alone ... let me rest ... I’m tired ... no more reasoning ... enough for one day....

  Alisha failed to realize Gray Eagle had answered her last question without Powchutu translating it to him first. He didn’t even realize he had done it, but Powchutu did. He smiled sardonically and patted the little pouch at his wanapin.

  She finished the juice with a wrinkled nose and handed the holder back to Powchutu. Gray Eagle turned to him and told him to leave them now so she could sleep. Powchutu reluctantly nodded, wishing he had warned Alisha to remain silent around him for she might inadvertently tell something she should not. He quickly realized from her actions that she would soon be asleep, so he smiled and left. He would warn her later.

  Gray Eagle had seen his worried expression and knew its meaning. For once, he could not fault Powchutu’s deceptive actions, for he also knew the truth of the akito could cause Alisha certain death. After the joining, I will tell him I have known the truth all along and the secret will remain with only the three of us. Matu must sleep the sleep of the spirits with the help of the May Apple, for he did not trust her future help or silence. He would tell Hehoke Sapa to handle this for him after the ceremony tomorrow night. By the time of the joining, her secret would be safe forever.

  He had pushed her down to the mat and covered her with a buffalo skin as he was thinking and planning. He tenderly pushed some loose hair out of her face and eyes and stroked it lovingly. He lay down beside her and propped up on one elbow, gazing down into her face. He caressed her cheek as he surveyed the delicate features of her face.

  Her lids began to droop and close. He leaned down and kissed her. She automatically returned his kiss and snuggled closer to him. She drifted off to sleep while he was kissing her.

  He smiled and brushed another light kiss upon her slightly-parted lips and whispered against them, “Trust me, Lese. I will never let anyone or anything ever harm you again, including Wanmdi Hota. I will take care of everything from now on. Do not worry, Cinstinna.” He cradled her in his protective embrace and he; too, slept.

  Alisha was awakened to the cheerful, melodious singing and trilling of meadowlarks and warblers. She lay there for a long time listening to their twittering and chirping to the feeling of freedom and happiness. She thought how wonderful it would be to be a little white bird and be able to fly anywhere she wished in freedom and sing until her very heart burst with joy.

  She yawned and stretched like a feline after a long nap, then sat up. Matu entered as she was waking up. She came over to her and smiled as she gave her the fruit and aguyapi. She returne
d the smile from Matu and thanked her. Why was it she still felt a slight nagging of suspicion where Matu was concerned? Could she trust this old woman to keep her silence forever? Please, Matu, her heart pleaded.

  Matu was scurrying around like a mouse getting things ready for Alisha to get dressed later. Alisha daydreamed as she ate. In all her wildest thoughts, she would never have imagined she would be marrying an Indian, and Wanmdi Hota, at that.

  My wedding day.... Alisha gazed around the teepee and thought, not exactly a cathedral but does that really matter? She would not have a man of her religion performing the rites, but still she would be married to him in the eyes of God and in his custom. She was happy she would no longer be living in sin.

  She smiled, thinking how handsome he would look dressed for dinner in her native attire. How very different this wedding would be from what she had dreamed as a younger girl. She recalled the many glamorous, beautiful weddings she had attended back home. She recalled all her grandiose dreams of her own wedding day ... the tall, white cake with tiers and tiers of icing and flowers, with wedding bells atop ... hundreds of fragrant orange blossoms and lilies-of-the-valley all around ... music filling the air from harps, violins and the pianoforte ... the most handsome man in the world waiting for her at the end of that long, white, satin-carpeted aisle ... and she, waltzing down to meet him in her gown of white chantilly lace and seed pearls.

  White ... color of purity and innocence, two things lost to her forever. Today, she would have none of those dreams.

  No, not really. She would have lots of guests, some very important ones, too. Wasn’t a chief the same as a king in her country? She suppressed a laugh as she thought, that makes me a princess and this a royal affair. Her father ... he would never see his little Lese wed, nor thankfully know the circumstances surrounding her life here in the New Land.