Starblind (Starblind #1)

by D T Dyllin

  I mulled that over for a moment. “I guess.” Whether Steampunk came from Earth fiction or not didn’t really matter. Either way the concept did originate on Earth, so close enough. Plus, I did look damn good in my Steampunk stuff.

  “I have so much to teach you.”

  I cupped his face in a tender gesture that felt foreign to me. “Please don’t go. I don’t want to lose you.” Where the hell did that come from?

  Ash turned his face into my palm and closed his eyes. “What I’m going to do, it’s bigger than me or you. It has to be done.”

  “What am I going to do about the UGFS contract? Ambassador Aralias expects results. If I don’t at least deliver the chip … I don’t know what’s going to happen.” If I could produce the chip, then maybe Ash would be forgotten or he could hide. Perhaps I could even fake his death. There were so many things that could be done if he just handed over that chip.

  “I can see the wheels turning and I know what you’re thinking. And no, Janey, I won’t give you that chip.”

  “Please,” I rasped. Yep, I was full on begging. I didn’t want Ash to die. I didn’t know what I felt for him, but I at least wanted a chance to find out. Him being dead would kind of put an end to that plan. “We can spend lots more time doing this.” I thrust myself up at him. “And just talking, too … just being together. Don’t give me a taste of something that I may want only to yank it away.”

  Ash heaved a huge sigh, standing quickly, leaving me to feel bereft without his body heat. “You could live with yourself? You could let things go on the way they are with innocents dying just so you can have a little slice of happiness?”

  “I’m selfish. What can I say?” I tried to make it sound light but it didn’t come out that way at all. Not to mention that it was completely true. I’d learned to put myself first over the years because no one else would. I didn’t feel any guilt for being who I was, and who I always would be … a survivor.

  Ash drilled me with a hard look. It didn’t matter that he was naked, it still made me regret my words a bit. Not that I felt that way, just that I’d shared what I really thought about the matter. “Is that what you truly want? For me to hand the chip over to you so you can smooth things over with the UGFS, and then what?”

  “I don’t know, we can hunt bounties together, but you can fly under the radar kind of like Dar is doing.”

  He studied me for another few moments before coming to me in a burst of speed. “We’ll talk more about this after.” My body quivered with fresh excitement. I was really beginning to like his afters—or I guess befores.

  I woke up chilled, no Ash in sight. I rolled over to find an envelope lying beside me. I opened it hastily, and a small metallic object tinkled onto the floor. I picked it up, staring at it in utter shock. It bore the UGFS official seal—it was the chip. Ash had actually left the chip for me. But then why had he left? I pulled out the note that accompanied the small prize.

  Was this some kind of test? Or was Ash actually leaving the choice up to me? The possibility that he would do such a thing never crossed my mind. Sure I’d asked him to, but he’d seemed pretty adamant in his refusal.

  I palmed the chip, refusing to let myself think about anything else at the moment. With Ash being gone, I felt fully like myself again. It was weird coming to the realization that I had become almost like two separate people. The one with Ash—and the old me—the one that had existed before Ash. I hadn’t suddenly developed a split personality. Although there was no other way to describe the dichotomy of my actions, and even my personality when he was or wasn’t around.

  I pondered love and relationships while I’d been in his arms. I begged him not to go … I was open … vulnerable even. It was all a contradiction to the person I’d come to think of as me. I let Ash past the walls I’d spent years building, and I wasn’t so sure I liked who I was when I was with him. Vulnerable was just that, weak and breakable. If I let him in much more, he would be able to destroy me completely. I could never allow someone to have that kind of power over me ever again. Maddox and my family had taught me that lesson very well.

  Setting the chip down on the ground, I grabbed some clothes out of my closet. As soon as I was dressed, I stashed the chip in a pocket and scurried out of my quarters. My muscles were like jelly and my head was still a bit fuzzy, as if I’d gotten tipsy on Ash, but I had to talk to Zula and Tamzea ASAP. They were probably climbing the walls waiting to hear what happened. They’d been suspiciously absent while Ash was around. They’d obviously been giving me privacy.

  Panting, I burst into the med wing, which was where I knew I would find Tamzea. I was lucky enough to find Zula there as well. My eyes narrowed, taking in the scene while I caught my breath. The two of them seemed mighty cozy, sitting cross-legged opposite each other on a bed. They were playing cards and drinking glasses full of a liquid that looked suspiciously like firejuice.

  What the hell? “What are you two doing? Don’t you have a ship to run or something?”

  “Oooor something,” Zula sing-songed. “Masha and Dar have everything covered. They are quite the proficient ship running pair.”

  I swung my gaze to Tamzea, who was grinning at me lopsidedly, as if half of her face was drunker than the other. “We were wondering how long you’d be,“ she raised her hands up to make air quotes, “entertaining Ash.” Giggling, she fell over.

  “How much have the two of you had to drink? And I thought Galvrarons didn’t stoop to drinking libations such as firejuice.” I sneered. Zula was always fast to look down her nose at my firejuice preference and here she was. Hypocrite much?

  Zula waved me off. “We were bored and Tamzea talked me into it.”

  I gazed at the two of them in horror. I’d come to them for advice of the utmost importance, not to mention that it was time sensitive, and they’d gone and gotten completely sloshed. Just perfect. “I got the chip. In case either one of you lushes were interested.”

  Tamzea rolled onto her stomach in a fit of giggles. “I can’t believe you actually fucked it out of Ash. I thought he would be able to withstand your wiles.”

  “Nope.” Zula smiled larger than I’d ever seen her do. It actually kind of creeped me out. “No man seems to be able to resist our Jane. That’s her super secret bounty hunting power. I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors.”

  “You know what,” I stomped over and snatched both of their glasses, “that’s enough out of you both.”

  I knew Zula didn’t believe those rumors and was just trying to give me a hard time, but I was in no mood. I needed her and Tamzea, and they were acting like complete idiots. When both of them seemed unfazed by my displeased attitude, I decided to leave them to their own devices while they sobered up.

  I swiped the almost empty bottle of firejuice on my way to the control room. It looked like I’d have to make the call myself. I put the bottle to my lips, tipping it on end. Shit. They could have left me a bit more for liquid courage.

  With shaky hands I typed in the numbers to start the transmission to contact Ambassador Aralias’ ship. Only a few moments passed before a connection was made and the ambassador’s cold, yet handsome, face appeared larger than life. I straightened myself up, wishing I would’ve thought about what I was wearing. I probably looked like I’d just been on a sex bender. I wasn’t really sure whether or not that was a good or a bad thing.

  “You have news?”

  I nodded almost too demonstratively. “I have the chip.”

  “And Ash?”

  I bit my lower lip, averting my gaze. “He got away … again.”

  “And how did that happen?” His voice was sharp.

  “Ummm … Well …” Thinking on the fly, I realized the best thing to tell him was a version as close to the truth as possible. That way there’d be less chance of a slip up on my part. Also, it would explain my appearance. The best lies were usually saturated in truth. “I seduced him so that he would let his guard down. I managed to get the chip, but he wised up bef
ore I could use the blade on him.”

  “You seduced him?”

  I met his hard gaze. “Yes.”

  A slow smile crept across his face. “I’m sending you the rendezvous coordinates. We expect to see you there within the hour.” The screen went blank. And how the hell did he know where exactly we were anyways? Who am I kidding? He’d known when we’d been in Gartian territory. He was obviously keeping tabs on our whereabouts.

  “What happened?” Tamzea and Zula asked in perfect unison as they burst into the room. I was glad they hadn’t shown up until after the call to the ambassador had ended.

  “We have to meet up to hand the chip over.” I patted my pocket, where I’d stashed it. I was hoping with the UGFS getting the chip back that they’d forget about Ash. I internally sighed. I’d lost that level of naivety a long time ago. All I could realistically hope for was that I wouldn’t be the one they wanted to track him down again. Yeah … I’m seriously delusional if I believe that one either.

  “Can you manage to punch in the new coordinates or do I need to do it myself?”

  “I can do it,” Zula scoffed as if she wasn’t drunk off her ass. She can probably do most jobs better than anyone while drunk. That thought seriously rankled.

  So … with a heavy heart and a churning gut, I headed back to my quarters to prepare myself for my meeting with destiny. It sounded corny as hell to even think that, but somehow it rang true despite everything.

  My gut churned, and my heart galloped at a dangerous speed. And I thought I’d been tense the first time Ambassador Aralias boarded my ship. But that had been nothing compared to the current level of stress zinging through my system, all of it brought on by a horrible feeling of foreboding. I knew how I wanted things to go, and I knew how they probably would. The two were not even close to the same thing.

  When I’d been picking out my ensemble after my shower, I’d been torn between wearing something skimpy, aka distracting, and something a bit more conservative. The last thing I wanted to do was encourage the ambassador’s perverse attraction to me.

  On the other hand, a woman in my line of work quickly learns that unlike what most people believe, a woman should use all of her strengths, and a woman holds the power of her sexuality over men. That’s the real reason why men of all species feared and tried to put down a female’s sexuality. It was because they knew, deep down, if we so chose, we could rule them all.

  They wanted us to think that using the one little thing in our bag of tricks is wrong, but that’s only because they’re afraid we’ll use it against them. Sometimes showing a little skin or using a perfectly timed wink could put a certain kind of man under a woman’s thrall. Men were easy to manipulate, at least the kind I dealt with most of the time. Putting all of that into consideration … I’d finally decided to wear an all leather pants outfit, which split the difference. The truth was, if I was wearing a burlap sack and the ambassador got it in his mind that he wanted to try something … he would.

  Dar and Masha were hiding out again, and thankfully Tamzea had some kind of tea that sobered both her and Zula up. I was beyond relieved not to be facing Ambassador Aralias and his UGFS bodyguards alone.

  I gulped audibly as the trio made it safely into the airlock. I glanced back at Zula and Tamzea, who both gave me encouraging nods in turn.

  I can do this.

  Unlocking the second door to the airlock, I stepped back, my head bowed slightly in deference.

  “Captain Sevis. The chip.” Ambassador Aralias’ voice was beyond eager. I reached out my hand with the chip resting in my palm. He snatched it away immediately. “Good. It carries the correct code. Do you know if he made any copies?”

  I winced. I hadn’t even thought to ask Ash that, although I was assuming no. Unless that’s why he gave the chip up so easily. “Ummm … I don’t—”

  “The seal would have changed color if it had been copied on anything but official UGFS equipment,” Zula offered. “The seal appears intact, so therefore the creature known as Ash did not have a chance to copy the chip.”

  Silence reigned for a moment before I cleared my throat, my eyes still locked on my boots. “I know you must be disappointed that Ash got away, but I do remember you saying the chip was more important … ” My voice wavered despite my best efforts. I hated not feeling in control. I want the ambassador the hell off my ship already.

  “I did say that. And it is true,” he snapped. “But Ash cannot be permitted to live knowing what’s on this chip.” My head snapped up, my gaze meeting the ambassador’s. It was a mistake. I quickly looked away again, but I already knew it was too late. “You don’t want to kill him, do you?”

  “I—”

  Ambassador Aralias closed the scant distance between us in the blink of an eye, and slid his hand around my throat. “Don’t think we don’t know what’s going on.” His hateful eyes filled up my vision, and I reached up to clamp my hands around his wrist. He wasn’t choking me … yet. But the act of force wasn’t one I’d expected from an ambassador. “Now let me tell you what’s going to happen. You’re going to come with me, without protest, and I’ll let your crew live. If you do your job and kill Ash … I may let you live as well.”

  “He’ll never come to me on your ship,” I croaked. My mind was reeling. I knew if I somehow managed to get my laser gun free that the two UGFS guards would take me out in a second. I also knew that at my best, maybe I could take down one, but the other would get the better of me. Fear shot through my system. And with that—

  “Shit!” Ambassador Aralias reared back from me when my palms spewed flames. Not much, but enough to burn him just like I had Jassen. His eyes widened as two laser rifles pointed at me. “How did you do that? I’ve read your records, you’re Species Class 1. Part human and … ” His eyes narrowed in on me, understanding dawning in them. “You’re part phoenix and wholly an abomination. Cuff her!” he roared.

  All chaos broke loose. I pulled my laser gun, dropping down to my knees in one fluid motion. I squeezed off a few shots before one of the guards tackled me fully to the ground. Even though I was trying to take them out, they were still attempting to take me prisoner, otherwise I would have already been dead.

  I can’t let them take me on that ship! It was my last thought before everything went dark.

  “Wake up, Captain Sevis. Or I think I’ll call you Jane, since we’re going to get to know each other very well in the near future,” Ambassador Aralias cooed right next to my ear.

  Revulsion caused me to shudder, my eyes flying open. I found myself laser chained to a chair in front of a large viewing window on the ambassador’s cruiser. The Pittsburgh was right there in front of me, appearing to hang perfectly still in space. “I wanted you to know the full scope of your situation, and therefore you needed to witness this firsthand.

  “Fire when ready,” he commanded, a small smile curling his lips up at the corners.

  My breath caught in my throat, my mind blanking as the laser shots tracked across the sky in seeming slow motion. Fire erupted and then … then The Pittsburgh was just gone. It was as if it’d disappeared into thin air. I stared for who knows how long, numb, before tears began to fall. They were gone. Zula, Tamzea, Masha, and even Dar. I’d gotten them killed. It was my fault. They were all dead because of me.

  Sorrow morphed to rage, boiling my blood. “I’m going to kill you!” I heard myself screech as I fought my bonds. “I’m going to kill every last one of you!”

  “You see,” Ambassador Aralias said to his crew, “this is why their kind should not be allowed to live. Look at her. So volatile. Drug her and then bring her to my quarters.”

  My chest heaved with exertion, fire streaming from my palms. I bared my teeth, watching as the flames grew. “I’ll burn you alive, Aralias,” I snarled. “Your screams will be music to my ears. A fucking symphony.”

  He shook his head, watching me with disdain. “You know what to do,” he said to one of his guards.

  “Yes, sir.
”

  My flames were doused with some kind of liquid that wasn’t water, and my neck was jabbed with a needle. I lost consciousness moments after that.

  “Let me show you what it was like. At least a small piece of it,” Ash said, his voice both sad and proud.

  I seemed to step into another memory of his …

  And suddenly I was flying. Lush green lands, treacherous and yet beautiful mountains, vast seas and oceans stretched out before me. The landscape was much like New Earth, but I immediately knew it wasn’t. I was seeing—really seeing Earth for the first time. It was something I never thought I’d experience on any level.

  A joyous giggle burst forth from me as I … we continued to soar over the once great planet.

  Yes, it resembled New Earth, but I also knew immediately what Earth had that hadn’t been reproduced by the scientists when they’d tried to duplicate their home. New Earth lacked a soul. Earth felt alive. It had an energy that seeped out from the ground itself. It was a living, breathing entity. Oh, how I wished I could have walked on those lands, swam in those seas, breathed in that air … even for just one day.

  “It’s why we have to fight, so that no other creatures lose their home. We can’t bring Earth back, but we can save countless other planets and species from the same fate.”

  My eyes fluttered open, and I gasped as a sharp pain bit into the skin of my cheek. I wiggled my jaw as I eyed Ambassador Aralias. He smacked me across the face again, the copper tang of blood blooming in my mouth. I took the opportunity to drop my head, scanning my surroundings from under my lashes.

  I was in lavish quarters, dominated by the dual blue tones of the UGFS. I remembered before I was knocked out what was said and figured I was in the ambassador’s living quarters. Unfortunately, I was chained to his bed. I didn’t like one single thing about what that implied.