The Texican Way

by Bernard Veale

  “I should be obliged if you would ask him to come see me.”

  “Oh, he’ll be doin’ that anyway. Murder cases ain’t dime a dozen ‘round heah.”

  After an hour of sitting in his cell practicing with a pack of cards and familiar-looking man walked in.

  “Good mornin’ ter you, sir! Ah’m Hiram Keeley attorney-at-law. May ah be o’ service ter you-all?”

  “Hello there Hiram, the last time I saw you, you were wearing a stolen Union uniform and were about to join the Raiders!”

  “Well landsakes! Iffen it ain’t Corporal Beauregard!”

  “Well, it was Captain Beauregard when I left the Confederate Army but boy am I glad to see you.”

  “Yeah, you-all sure got y’self into a mess heah. Attacking Colonel ‘Cajun’ Chambertin-Écossais? Say, that theah man is a hero is these heah parts.”

  “That is not the way of it at all.” Daniel said and explained the whole story.

  “Say, Dan, ah believe you-all ‘cos ah know you-all, but theah ain’t no jury o’ twelve folks from heahabouts gonna believe yore word against that ‘o Colonel Cajun.”

  “Perhaps you are right Hiram but it isn’t just my word Shek Jak, my Chinese man, was present and he can testify as to what happened.”

  “You talkin’ about a little yaller Chinese-type man?”

  “Yes I am.”

  “Jury gonna think he jus’ a high-yaller, a mulatto. They ain’t gonna pay him no mind ‘specially agin the testimony o’ a hero like Colonel Cajun.”

  “How can a jury accept the word of one man against that of two witnesses?”

  “The prosecution maintains that both you-all and the Chinaman held up Colonel Cajun and his friend Mister Benson. They say that you-all shot Colonel Cajun in the shoulder and you-all shot Benson daid. By way o’ proof you-all was found riding Benson’s horse.”

  “Except for the fact that they have the aggressors the wrong way around and that both Cajun and Benson had their rifles pointed at us when I drew my pistol, the story is essentially correct.”

  “Ain’t theah some’un that can testify to yore veracity? How about yore commandin’ officer. You-all said that you-all was a captain? Who was yore commander?”

  “General Robert E Lee.”

  “Lee? General Lee hisself? W’d he testify on yore behalf?”

  “I do not know whether he would come all the way down here to testify but he might give a written testimonial that could be entered into evidence.”

  “Hell, this c’d be great! D’you-all know who the judge is gonna be?”

  “No, who is it?”

  “Judge Phineus Anson: he useta be a major in Lee’s headquarters. He’ll accept Lee’s testimonial in a heartbeat.”

  “Hold on there, Hiram, Phineus Anson is anything but my friend. He tried to get me arrested for fraud until Lee set him straight.”

  “Aw hell! Ain’t theah anything good in this heah case?”

  Several days passed while Daniel languished in jail. Jack was not allowed to see him on the excuse that the sheriff did not want witnesses to align their stories but Daniel suspected that he did not want a colored person in his jail.

  Hiram visited him once or twice and assured him that he was working on his behalf and making some progress.

  A preliminary hearing was to be held to ascertain whether in the judge’s opinion there was a case to answer.

  Judge Phineus Anson showed no sign of having any previous connection to Daniel and he certainly made no move to recuse himself.

  The charges were read by the prosecution attorney who then called the sheriff as his first witness. The sheriff testified that he had arrested Daniel Beauregard who had shown no resistance and had submitted calmly. He also stated that he had taken his mount into custody and found it to be identical to the horse that had been owned and ridden by Mister Japhet Benson.

  “Sheriff Jackson,” Hiram said in his best court diction. “Did you-all search the accused when you-all took him into custody?”

  “Ah did sir.”

  “Did you make a list of the items found upon his person?”

  “Ah did sir.”

  “Is this the list that has been entered into evidence?”

  “Yes sir it does appear to be.”

  “It says heah that his wallet contained five hundred and fifty dollars, is that correct?”

  “Yes sir, as mah memory serves, that is correct.”

  “In what condition were those bills? Could you describe them to the court?”

  “Certainly, they was brand new bills all in the same numerical sequence.”

  “Thank you sheriff. Now befoah you-all go. Did the accused give you-all any explanation as to why he was riding a horse that so closely fitted the description of that known to have belonged to Mister Japhet Benson?”

  “No sir he did not.”

  “So would you-all agree that the accused did not try to justify himself to you-all?”

  “Yes sir, all he done ax me fer was a lawyer.”

  “No more questions your honor.”

  “Call your next witness, sir.” The judge commanded the prosecutor.

  “Ah call Colonel Chambertin-Écossais.” He pronounced it Chammbutton Ekossus.

  After the prosecution had extracted Cajun’s distortion of the facts, Hiram Keeley stood up for his cross-examination.

  “Now Colonel, you-all say that the accused waylaid you-all and without warning gunned down Japhet Benson and shot you-all in the shoulder. Is that correct?”

  “Yes sir, it is.”

  “Colonel, you-all are well-known in these heah parts?”

  “Yes sir, I raised a company of local milita and took them into the Confederate Army. Our company distinguished itself on several occasions during the war.”

  “Colonel, what was yore profession befoah the war?”

  “I was a businessman, sir.”

  “In what specific business, colonel?”

  “I am a property speculator, sir.”

  “Could you-all name for the court any property in which you-all made your money?”

  “I cannot call to mind any at the moment, sir, so much has happened during the war.”

  “Colonel, you-all are under oath and theah are specific penalties for misleading the court. Is it not true that you-all have made yore living as a poker player?”

  “I er, certainly have made some money at the poker tables. There is nothing illegal in that.”

  “But is it not true that this is the only means of making a living that you-all have?”

  “No, it is not! I have made money in other ways!”

  “Would you-all care to name one or two of those ways?”

  “I have traded in cotton and pork.”

  “Colonel, I asked fer occasions when you-all have made money, not lost it!”

  The colonel did not respond to Hiram’s remark so he continued.

  “Colonel, you-all say that my client robbed you-all of a sum of money?”

  “That is correct, sir.”

  “How much money was that sir?”

  “Over five thousand dollars, sir.”

  “So you-all say that you-all was carrying that large sum of money upon yore person and riding with a single companion in such a relaxed state of mind that my client was able to surprise you-all and gun you-all down and rob you-all?”

  “That is correct, sir. We were taken by surprise.”

  “How were you-all carrying that money, Colonel?”

  “In my money belt, sir.”

  “The Sheriff did not find a money belt either on my client or in his camp.”

  “Er, he took the money out of my belt, I still have it.”

  “May the court
see this belt?”

  The colonel extracted it from inside his clothing and held it up.

  “Now colonel that belt is very flat and is built to lie against yore body where it cannot be seen. Is that correct?”

  “Yes sir that is its purpose.”

  “The five thousand dollars that you-all carried. In what denominations were those bills?”

  “I cannot say, sir, it was in various denominations: a few thousands, lots of hundreds and fifties maybe even some singles.”

  “So these were all used bills of various denominations?”

  “That is what I said.”

  “How then do you explain that the sheriff found no money on my client other than the brand new bills in his wallet?”

  “It is plain that he hid the money, sir.”

  “Where could he have hidden it? He came directly to town. Theah were no banks open at that time and the sheriff made a thorough search of his camp.”

  “For all I know sir, he could have left it all under a rock.”

  “I have heah sir, a mixture of bills amounting to five thousand dollars. Two of those bills are thousand dollar bills. When I place them into your money belt like so, your belt bulges out. Would you-all be so kind as to refix this belt about yore person?”

  The colonel struggled to fit the bulging belt around his waist and finally succeeded after which he appeared decidedly pregnant.

  “Well, sir, we can all imagine how every thief in America would have been after you looking like that.”

  “Perhaps I had more thousand dollar bills than I thought.”

  “Most men I know count their money carefully and do not cram it into a belt designed to carry a few hundred dollars.” Hiram said as he walked away to remove the money from the belt.

  “Your next witness, Mr. Prosecutor.” The judge said.

  “No other witnesses, your honor.”

  “Make your case, Mister Keeley.”

  “Yore Honor before I put my first witness on the stand I would like to offer to the court the following letter that I have just received.”

  “To what does the letter refer, Mr Keeley?”

  “It testifies to my client’s honor and integrity, yore Honor.”

  “The court prefers to hear direct testimony under oath from witnesses, a testimonial letter cuts no ice in my court.”

  “Yore Honor the letter is from General Robert E Lee, who is at the moment unable to be heah.”

  “General Lee? Let me see that letter.”

  The judge took the letter and read it twice.

  “Mr Keeley, I will not read this letter into evidence but I shall certainly take its contents into account. Please bring on your witnesses.”

  Hiram called in Jack and asked him to take the stand.

  “Please state yore name and nationality.”

  “I am Shek Jak. I am a Chinese national living in the United States of America.”

  “Sir, would you-all please tell the court where you-all learned to speak such excellent English.”

  “I was taught by Christian missionaries in Canton from my earliest childhood.”

  “What is yore relationship with Captain Daniel Beauregard?”

  “Sir, you call him Captain Beauregard but actually he is a brigadier.”

  “Just answer the question, what is yore relationship with Daniel Beauregard?”

  “I am his servant and he is my friend.”

  “How long have you-all been with my client?”

  “Two years, sir.”

  “What sort of man is he?”

  “Kind, considerate and honorable.”

  “Please tell the court exactly what happened on the day that Mister Japhet Benson was shot.”

  “We were traveling to Vermilionville, taking it easy because our final destination was to be El Paso. Two men surprised us coming around a bend. Both were wearing bandanas over the lower half of their faces and had their hats pulled down so that only their eyes were showing. Both were wearing dustcoats over their clothing but Mister Beauregard recognized them from their boots. He is very observant that way. He called them by name and this annoyed them. They could not understand how he had recognized them. They were pointing rifles at us and they ordered us to drop our gunbelts to the ground and dismount. Mister Beauregard stayed in the saddle and asked them what they wanted. They said they wanted the money he had won from them at poker. Mister Beauregard made as if he were going to give it to them but instead pulled out his pistol so fast that I could hardly see it. Mister Beauregard shot one man in the shoulder and tried to do the same to the other but his horse moved in fright from the gunfire and the bullet hit him in the chest and killed him.”

  “What did Mister Beauregard say to the remaining man?”

  “He said that he had two choices, either he could be handed over to the sheriff or he could ride off to find someone to attend to his shoulder.”

  “What did the man say to him?”

  “He said ‘no sheriff’ so Mister Beauregard let him go.”

  “Why did he do that surely the correct thing was to take the wounded man to the sheriff?”

  “Mister Beauregard said that he suspected the man already had a record and did not want to go to jail for a long time. He said that with a shattered right shoulder he would be unable to find work and was therefore punished enough so he let him go.”

  “So you-all are saying that he showed compassion to the man?”

  “Yes sir he did.”

  “Thank you, Mr Shek, no more questions.”

  The prosecution jumped up immediately.

  “Mister Shek? Or is it Mr Jak? Do you understand what taking the oath to tell the truth means?”

  “Certainly sir, I am a Christian and have been brought up to understand Christian and civilized values.”

  “So you know that you can be sent to jail for telling lies?”

  “Of course, sir, I do.”

  “How much is Mister Beauregard paying you to tell these lies?”

  “Mister Beauregard is an honorable man. He would never do such a thing.”

  “Are you telling this court that Mister Beauregard has never asked you to tell a single lie in the two years you have been with him?”

  “On one occasion he asked me to call him Captain when he was a Major.”

  “Why would he do that? Most people want to bump up their rank not reduce it.”

  “It was very confusing Mister Beauregard was a Captain in the Confederate army but he was then also a Major in the Union army.”

  “Oh your honor!” The prosecuting attorney blurted out. “It is patent that this man is an unmitigated liar.”

  The judge did not turn a hair. “On the contrary, sir, I am satisfied that what Mister Shek is saying is the absolute unvarnished truth. I have heard enough from the witnesses and on the matter of whether there is a case to answer for, I rule for dismissal of this case. It is clear to me that the facts are being distorted by the main prosecution witness and that charges for robbery and contempt of court should be laid against him.”

  The judge slammed down his gavel.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Hiram Keeley accepted his check for services rendered with a happy smile.

  It ain’t often y’git a case with such a satisfactory endin’.” He said reverting to his workaday accent.

  “What I do not understand, Hiram is why Phineus Anson ruled in my favor without me even taking the stand.”

  “Ah think Ah c’n give you-all an answer to that question. It all lies in this heah letter which I intend to keep. It was written in reply to my request for a testimonial for you-all that c’d be put before the former Major Phineus Anson now Judge Anson.”

  “Ah! So Lee knew that it was Ans
on that was to be my judge?”

  “Of course, after what you-all tol’ me ah made that very clear to him.”

  Daniel picked up the letter and after the greeting it read:

  “I have been asked to declare upon the character of Daniel Beauregard an officer of the Confederate Army who served under me as one of the most important agents of the Confederation in the entire course of the Civil War.

  I made Beauregard up to lieutenant from being a sniper corporal. He was serving with Quantrill’s Raiders at a time well before the Lawrence raid. He and two companions took responsibility for escorting me safely from Gonzales to Waco while being tracked by a full troop of crack Union cavalrymen under the command of a Major and a lieutenant. Beauregard trapped the Union troop in a canyon and with his sniping skills killed the Major, Sergeant and Indian tracker among others. One of his companions was killed in this action and the other was wounded. He then returned to Waco to find that I had been collected by two troops of cavalry sent by Jefferson Davis. Most other men would have rested on their laurels but Beauregard tracked down the remnants of the Union cavalry troops and took command of them as a Union lieutenant and brought them back to their regiment. He worked so well in the regiment as a lieutenant that he was soon promoted to captain. While in the Union forces he discovered the code book used by the Union Army for coded cables and brought it to me. He also identified a Union agent that had been installed in the office of the Confederate presidency. I promoted him to Major and sent him back into the Union army where he supplied me with intelligence that resulted in some of my best escapes from Union forces. As my agent he probably saved more Confederate lives than any other man of any rank. Once the end was near for the Confederate army, his actions as a Brigadier in the Union forces resulted in a quick ending to the war. Again, he saved more American lives on both sides of the divide, than can be attributed to anyone else. This country owes him a debt so great that it can never be repaid and it is a great pity that I am the losing General in the Civil War and am therefore unable to reward and honor him as he deserves.”

  “My word,” Daniel said as he put the letter down. “He really did lay it on thick, didn’t he?”

  “That’s because you-all really had one hellova war, didn’t you-all?”