All of Me (Compass Cove Book 3)

by Jeannie Moon

  Lilly wrapped her arms around her middle and listened to the laughter filling her apartment. On the surface, she’d played the part since she’d come home, feigning happiness for the sake of her family and friends, but tonight something was different. She was happy, and it wasn’t an act. This was one of those golden moments that would stay locked in her memory forever—not because it was remarkable in any way, but because it wasn’t. It was about spending time with good people, about letting them in, and for the first time in two years, Lilly believed her decision to come home was a good idea.

  Chapter Fourteen

  As nights went, Lilly found herself more at ease that she had in a very long time. The four of them had fun. Three hours had passed when Mia glanced outside at the fading light and gave Jordan a nudge. “Come on, Preggo. Let’s get out of here. I have to get Ben ready for camp tomorrow.”

  Ben was Mia’s eleven-year-old adopted son. Wanting to give him a better life was the reason she’d moved to Compass Cove a little over a year ago, and it was because of Ben that she’d met Adam and found the love of her life.

  Giving Lilly a strong hug, Mia smiled. “Whatever it is, we’re here for you.”

  Lilly knew that, and she knew Jordan was no different. These were her people. They supported her no matter what, and they didn’t expect any kind of explanation. Lilly had never realized how lucky she was.

  Feeling grateful was new for Lilly. For the longest time, she let “what ifs” and “whens” dictate her life. She always wanted more. Nothing was ever enough, whether it was about relationships, careers, or things. Now, after fighting back from something unthinkable, she was content to see what life brought her. It took a while, but Lilly understood that what she had in her life wasn’t just enough, it was an abundance of riches.

  Once the girls left, she turned toward the guy who was still on her couch. Strong enough to bear the burdens of his job, he had a sensitive streak that made him the best kind of man. This was why Lilly loved him. And she patted herself on the back for recognizing these things about Jack all those years ago.

  She drew a breath, feeling her skin flush as she took him in. He’d wasted no time flipping to the Yankees game, settling himself in for the rest of the evening.

  “Again with the Yankees?” Lilly asked, trying to get her head around the impromptu evening in. “Maybe I want to watch something else.”

  “Be my guest,” he said as he handed over the remote. “They’re getting killed and it’s only the top of the second.”

  Lilly smiled at she pressed the button for Netflix. “That was fun. I’m sorry I forgot about dinner, though. I was ambushed.”

  “No problem; the tacos were amazing.” He leaned forward and stroked the cat, who was staring at him from the coffee table. “Ambushed, huh? They just showed up?”

  “Yep. Mia wanted to talk. Apparently, she knows something happened with Gio.”

  “Is that what she said?”

  “Pretty much. Did you tell her anything?”

  Jack shook his head. “No, but something about an exchange she had with Gio when she saw him on campus put her back up. Mia’s smart, she’s got his number.”

  “Really? How do you know that?”

  He nailed her with his eyes, his stare so intense it garnered Lilly’s full attention. “I was there.”

  He was there. On campus. Engaging. “Wait. What?” Lilly stood and walked around the couch. “Why were you on campus?”

  “I was butting into your business.” Jack grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the couch next to him. “I met him completely by accident.”

  She didn’t know if she bought that particular line, but she decided to hear him out. “Oh, and?”

  “And I think he’s a sociopath. He fits the type. Charming, smart, glib, and with a false humility that’s over the top. He plays the good guy, but he doesn’t even flinch when he tells a lie. It’s pathological—there’s absolutely no guilt. He’s a master manipulator. The guy has some production assistant on the hook right now. She’s cute. Maybe she’s twenty-three. He has her completely snowed.”

  “God…” Lilly pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “I feel like I should warn her.”

  “I get that, but it could put a target on your back. Is that what you want? ’Cause it’s not what I want.”

  “I shouldn’t let that dictate my actions. Aren’t women supposed to stand up for each other?”

  “I’m not saying you shouldn’t. If she comes forward with accusations, if anyone does, you should add your voice. But you don’t know what’s happened, if anything, yet.”

  “If nothing’s happened, it could be because he’s working on her. Building her trust. So, I don’t know if I agree with you.”

  “I’m sure you don’t. But if you go after him without any proof, or if you try to warn her and nothing has happened, you’re the crazy ex. And that would be… it would be bad.”

  “Bad?” Gio did things that were pretty bad. No one was talking to him, telling him to behave. “Uh huh.”

  “Look, I’m going to ask you to trust me. That’s a big one for you, I know, but there are a lot of moving parts in this investigation. Please let the process work.”

  “The process didn’t do right by me. Why should I trust it?”

  He couldn’t argue with that, no matter how hard he tried. Instead, Jack wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. He was frustrated, but so was she.

  “Okay. Compromise. Maybe you could ask your old boss to keep an eye on the assistant? If anything seems off, or he senses a problem, he can let me know. Does that work?”

  Lilly let the idea sink in. It wasn’t perfect, but at least if Noel was aware there was a situation brewing, the woman Gio was grooming wouldn’t be dragged into the hole Lilly had just climbed out of. “You won’t let anything slide?”

  “I promise.”

  She nodded, giving in to his request. “Okay.”

  “Okay? Really? You don’t seem sure.”

  “I was just thinking how exhausting this all is. I have to filter everything I say or do.”

  “You don’t have to filter anything with me.” Jack’s finger stroked the back of her hand. His words, his touch, were meant to provide comfort and reassurance, but instead they set her mind racing towards possibilities she thought were long gone.

  “Have you really only been in my hair for a week?” she whispered, trying to diffuse the situation. “Because it feels like a lot longer.” Lilly locked her gaze on his, and the softness she found there made her heart pound and her body warm.

  “It’s not like we never saw each other, you know. I was here at the beginning of the summer.”

  “I know… I mean… I get that. It just feels different somehow.” What the hell was she saying? Every word moved her closer to an emotional train wreck. “That sounded silly.”

  Still focusing only on her, Jack shook his head. “No. No, it didn’t. It is different. I guess we just have to see what that means.” Jack smiled down at her, and all the emotions she’d been holding for him since she was fifteen years old bubbled over. Her heart was like a pot on a too-hot stove, foaming and spewing every conflicting feeling into the flame.

  “He’s dangerous, Lilly. Talking to him today—I could just feel it.”

  The honesty of the statement hit her hard, even though it was nothing she didn’t already know. “You have good intuition.” She took a shaky breath. “I guess I was lucky.”

  “I know you’re just saying that. What you went through was horrible. I don’t have the words, but I don’t think I would call it luck.”

  For months after she left, Lilly wished she could shrivel up and stay out of the world’s way. She felt violated and vulnerable. She felt weak, and a lot of those feelings were still lurking beneath the surface. There were bright spots. Days like today, when the fear and anxiety left her for a little while. But for the life of her, Lilly didn’t know how she would be normal again.
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  Jack pressed a kiss into her hair, and she felt the gentle pressure as his mouth lingered. Was this what happened when friends crossed the personal line? She had known Jack Miller half her life. She’d dreamed about him for almost that long. But it was now, when the bond was so personal, that she could see how her feelings towards him had changed. Was she in love with him at eighteen? Absolutely. But now? It was all that and more.

  Whatever brought her to this place, Lilly knew she couldn’t squander the second chance she’d been given.

  Dropping her legs, she swung them around and tucked them under herself. She faced Jack, and while he was confused at first, she eliminated any questions when she took his face in her hands and kissed him.

  Unlike the times before, Lilly wasn’t timid or reserved. This was no peck. She went all in, sliding her lips over his in a seductive caress that brought heat and light to every part of her body. She felt the magic radiating off her, forcing her closer until she felt him respond.

  Jack’s hands drifted to her waist and he pulled her onto his lap. Her body pressed against his and the wicked awareness of her own desire hit her. He was solid and the scent of him was heady, a mix of salt air and sweat, making her head fuzzy and light. He brought the bay with him. A mix of sea, salt, and summer air.

  He didn’t pull his mouth away but dove into the kiss like a man going down for the third time. He sucked the breath out of her, drawing her essence into his lungs. Jack was the charmer, the good guy, the boy next door… but he was also her champion, her fierce protector, and she had no doubt he would keep her safe.

  Giving into the feelings, allowing him to assume the mantle of guardian no longer felt like weakness. She felt stronger, safer, more able to cope than ever before.

  This was the power of two.

  That kind of trust didn’t come easily for her. In fact, just the thought shocked her. Opening up wasn’t easy for her, but this seemed natural and right. All she could hope was that Jack could let himself fall into the feelings the same way she had.

  His hand slid over her thigh and under the light fabric of her dress. She relished the feel of it, big and calloused. He had a gentle touch, and Lilly heard the soft purr come from her throat. The sensation was hypnotic as he moved to her back, stroking and caressing the skin at the base of her spine.

  “Lilly…” Jack’s lips brushed her temple, his breath tickling her ear. “You feel so good. This feels good, but we shouldn’t. We…”

  Leaning back, her heart hurting, Lilly looked long and hard at this wonderfully kind man. She wanted him, she always had, but even she had to question if she was ready for him and what intimacy would mean. She’d come so far, but was she prepared for more?

  The hurt dissolved and Lilly slid her arms around Jack’s waist. He took the cue and pulled her close. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “You’ve been through so much.” His voice, raspy and low, conveyed the emotion he was feeling. She wasn’t alone, at least. He felt something too, even if it was confusion.

  All she could do was nod. Whether she wanted to think about it or not, what had happened was part of her now. It wasn’t just a thing. It was part of her. She was an abuse victim. And she was a survivor. If she could get through what Gio did to her, she could get through anything.

  But was she ready to discover what was between her and Jack? Was she ready to bare the emotional wreckage? Because he deserved to know what he was getting into.

  “Please say something, Lilly.” A soothing stroke of his hand on her hair made her sigh. He was worried he’d hurt her.

  “I’m okay. But I don’t know what I’m ready for, honestly.”

  Sliding off his lap, Lilly positioned herself in the crook of his arm and let herself enjoy the safety he offered her. It was new for her, and no small thing.

  “What the hell is happening here?” Jack’s hand was rubbing her arm in a steady rhythm. It was soothing, but the tempo and the pressure of his touch betrayed that his nerves were as raw as hers.

  “You don’t know either?”

  “Lilly, I’m so out of my depth here with you, I don’t know what to think. But I only have one priority…” He looked down, his eyes darker, and serious. “I will not let anyone hurt you. Me included. I think about what I read. What you went through—” He stopped and sucked in a breath. “I can’t get my head around it. How could he… how could anyone?”

  Lilly didn’t know how to answer his questions. But her heart lifted at his words. Declaring his undying love wouldn’t have meant as much to her as what he’d just told her. Feeling the tears well in her eyes, Lilly’s breath hitched.

  “Oh, oh no. What did I say? I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.”

  She shook her head frantically. The tears were good. They weren’t happy as much as cathartic. A relief.

  “No. It’s okay. You… you believe me?” The knowledge, the comfort in his simple affirmation, was exactly what she needed. No one in L.A. had believed her. Even her friends, who had been wonderful and supportive, didn’t know the whole truth because so much horrible behavior was shrugged off. It wasn’t that Maddie or Noel would have thought Lilly was lying, but the trauma wouldn’t have the same impact. Jack, with his years of seeing victims firsthand, knew what she’d gone through with Gio had a name… abuse. Even Lilly had a hard time with it.

  “Of course I believe you. Make no mistake about that. I’m on your side. The other day, when I made those stupid comments… I shouldn’t have. I was an asshole, but I never doubted you. Never.”

  There was no holding back after that. Lilly broke. She crumbled in Jack’s arms, the sobs coming in great gulps, purging so much of the grief and sorrow that had been weighing her down. Never had she been so relieved, so utterly relieved. He believed her. He didn’t preface anything with a “but” or a question about how she could have handled things differently. His judgements from the other day were gone. There was no casting blame, or gaslighting.

  The gaslighting… first from Gio, then from the police and the D.A. “Are you sure of that account, Miss Vasquez? That’s a bit of a stretch, considering your relationship with Mr. Graham. We’ve never had a complaint like this before. No one is going to take this seriously.”

  And no one did. Until Jack walked into her apartment with a packet full of her secrets.

  He listened. He cared. And now he offered her the greatest gift… his unwavering support.

  Jack seemed to understand, because he didn’t say anything. He let her cry it out, holding her tight as she sobbed into his shirt. Bouts of tears like this hadn’t come in a long time. She’d buried her feelings, believing there was no reason to expend the energy. What had happened was in the past. But with each tear that fell, with each soothing caress of Jack’s hand, Lilly knew she’d only been denying how much she needed the release. How much she needed someone to hear her.

  Finally, someone had.

  *

  Jack had never had to squelch the urge to hurt someone like he did at that moment. He’d been a soldier, or in law enforcement, for the majority of his adult life. He knew violence. He understood crime and criminals. But this was personal. This was Lilly, and since the second she kissed him fourteen years ago, he’d never lost the feeling that they were linked together. Now, feeling her quivering body in his arms, her shoulders shaking with sobs, he felt that bond more acutely than ever before.

  Gio didn’t hurt just anyone. He’d hurt Lilly. And if it wouldn’t make the situation even worse, Jack might have thought about how he could make the bastard pay.

  Finally, Lilly started to quiet down. He felt the trembling slow, and then stop. The sobs became sniffles, and slowly, her body relaxed into his. Jack didn’t let go; in fact, he was trying to figure out how he was going to get her to let him stay. She didn’t know it yet, but he wasn’t leaving, even if he had to sleep outside her door again.

  “How are you doing?”

  “Better,” she said. Sitting back, she rubbed the heels of her hands
against her eyes. “Better. I guess I needed that.”

  He nodded, but was suddenly at a loss for words. What did he do now? Less than five minutes ago, he wanted to take her to bed and bury himself inside her. Now the urge to protect was intense. Too intense.

  Lilly stood and headed toward the kitchen. “Do you want anything? A beer, something else?”

  No beer, he thought. “I saw some iced tea in your fridge…”

  “Sure thing. Want to watch a movie?”

  Normalcy was returning. Forced, but she was trying her best to chase away the demons that haunted her. Jack joined her in the kitchen, watching as she put some popcorn in a container, poured a little oil in, and stuck it in the microwave. “Do I get to pick the movie?”

  He didn’t expect the question to get the reaction it did. Lilly froze for a second, considered what he’d said, and then answered with a completely flat affect. “Nope.”

  “What?” He tried to match his response to hers. “Aren’t I the guest here?”

  “Since when are you ever a guest? You make yourself at home wherever you go.”

  “I do not.”

  “You’re supremely comfortable with who you are, Jack. So, people let down their guard around you. But I’m going to be strong. I’m picking. Last night I watched the Yankees with you. It’s my turn.”

  A laugh exploded from his chest. She was fantastic. And she was strong. Stronger than she realized. “You didn’t watch. You fell asleep.” He saw her lips twitch and he couldn’t resist, he grabbed her by the waist and dragged her close. The scent of her, a combination of bold and sweet, made him dizzy. “What do you want to watch?”

  “I dunno. Something sappy and girly.”

  “Figures.”

  “You’ll live.”

  He didn’t know about that. The popcorn in the microwave behind them provided the only sound in the apartment, rhythmic little explosions that matched the neurons frying in his brain. The irony wasn’t lost on him.