Beating the Workplace Bully

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Beating the Workplace Bully Page 18

by Lynne Curry


  tation. More important, I urged her to reevaluate how she handled it

  when her connections called her about the derogatory rumors.

  CASSANDRA BEGAN THANKING those who reached out to her and

  asked them where they’d heard the stories, which al owed her to trace

  many of them back to Heather.

  Cassandra then hired a forensic computer specialist to trace the posts

  denouncing her on multiple Hotmail, Facebook, and Yahoo accounts.

  She learned Heather was behind many of them.

  Cassandra decided to permanently douse the many brushfires

  Heather had started with a lightning strike. Several al ies arranged for her

  to speak at an annual real estate convention. When Cassandra walked

  to the podium she noticed Heather and her cronies at a table immedi-

  ately in front of the dais, apparently hoping their presence would intim-

  idate her.

  When Cassandra spoke, she talked about how she’d grown her

  career during lean years and how she’d honored those she’d learned

  from. While Cassandra spoke, Heather and her associates whispered

  to each other. Cassandra looked over their heads and maintained eye

  contact with the rest of the audience.

  She then detailed the defamation of her character and professional-

  ism that had occurred over the past months, and announced that she’d

  traced many of the posts and rumors to one person. When Cassandra

  then looked straight at Heather, the room fell silent.

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  Undoing a Character Assassin’s Wounds to Your Reputation ❚ 155

  “This is the greatest test of courage I’ve ever faced,” Cassandra said.

  “To stand before you and let you know I almost gave up when things got

  ugly. If I had, you would not have seen me here today. But I am here. I

  stand before you and I stand on my record.” One by one members of

  the audience stood to applaud, as Heather slid from her seat and fled

  the room.

  Your Turn: Where Are You Now?

  If you have not encountered a character assassin, imagine what

  it would be like if you had, and answer the fol owing questions

  accordingly.

  1. Has a character assassin ever targeted you? What did he or

  she do?

  2. How did the behavior affect you? How did it affect others?

  3. How did the behavior affect morale and productivity?

  4. What did you do to cope? What did others do to cope?

  What worked? What didn’t?

  5. What did you learn from that experience?

  6. What would you do differently in the future?

  7. What advice would you give to someone facing character

  assassination?

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  19

  THE NEWEST CHARACTER

  ASSASSIN: THE CYBERBULLY

  The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear

  defeat without losing heart.

  —ROBERT GREEN INGERSOLL

  AFTER MAEVE LANDED THE sales manager position, she learned

  that a wel -liked internal candidate had applied for the job but

  had been passed over. During Maeve’s first week, the unlucky candi-

  date and his closest friend resigned and took jobs with a competitor.

  Then, without warning, Maeve’s world exploded. Within a few days,

  Internet postings appeared accusing Maeve of landing the job by

  sleeping with her new boss, complete with explicit photos showing the

  back of a woman’s head, her hairstyle resembling Maeve’s. Other posts

  appeared, al egedly from Maeve’s former coworkers, claiming Maeve’s

  sales track record resulted from her sexual prowess.

  Maeve felt dehumanized and helpless. She considered responding

  but felt any response might fan the flames. Her new boss and coworkers,

  however, believed that her lack of response indicated either weakness

  or an implicit acknowledgment of the truth of the accusations. Their ini-

  tial warm welcome evaporated, and Maeve emotional y shivered in the

  frosty chill.

  A high-tech lynch mob had successful y hacked Maeve’s reputation.

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  The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 157

  Have cyberbullies gone after you? What causes cyberbullies to

  attack? What options do you have when they dump on you?

  FREEDOM TO BULLY: THE MASK OF ANONYMITY

  Pseudonyms and usernames allow cyberbullies to conceal their real

  identities on the Internet. This personal anonymity, coupled with

  membership in a faceless crowd, can create a situation in which some

  people sink to the lowest common denominator.

  In one famous example, trick-or-treaters were invited to take can-

  dies left beside cash on a table in the front hall of a home. Eighty per-

  cent of those who arrived in groups and wore masks stole the money

  in contrast to 8 percent of the trick-or-treaters who arrived singly and

  without masks.

  Absence of Social Constraints and Consequences

  Online disinhibition, the loosening or complete abandonment of

  social inhibitions present in normal face-to-face interactions, can

  unleash needs and emotions that dwell below the surface. This emo-

  tional catharsis allows some Internet users to become less guarded

  and those with repressed anger to vent it online.

  The fear of reprisal squashes unbridled personal attacks in face-

  to-face interactions. On the Internet, many character assassins voice

  inflammatory opinions freely, without worrying they’ll lose a job or

  friend. Cyberbullies create far-reaching, even worldwide drama, gen-

  erally free from consequences. If they go too far and provoke coun-

  terattacks, they can simply press reset and not log in again under that

  username or in that forum. They exit the scene even as the damage

  they’ve caused remains forever and may even go viral.

  The Internet thus empowers character assassins and increases

  their sway and reach exponentially, leading them to attack without

  fear those they perceive as vulnerable.

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  158 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  False Belief That “It’s Not Personal”

  Because Internet users can’t see each other, they don’t always con-

  sider those they tweet or comment about as real people; this allows

  them to dissociate cruel remarks from the hurt their posts cause.

  A University of Haifa study revealed that those forced to maintain

  eye contact were half as likely to be hostile as those whose eyes did

  not meet.1

  In one such instance, Tammy Blakey, the first female Continental

  Airlines pilot to fly the Airbus A300, experienced this depersonaliza-

  tion. Continental Airlines pilots and crew members used an Inter-

  net-based Crew Members Forum to learn their work schedules, receive

  flight information, and exchange views. When Blakey logged on, she

  found multiple posts describing her as a weak pilot who destroyed an

  engine, crashed a floatplane, and caused $250,000 in damage to a

  plane by flying it in a hailstorm.

  Need to Create a Feeding Frenzy

  Internet trolls sow discord by starting arguments or
posting inflam-

  matory comments with the deliberate intent of provoking emotional

  responses. They feed off others’ comments. For them, the Inter-

  net’s widespread, instantaneous access and their ability to inflict

  far-reaching damage with just one text, post, or email message proves

  irresistible.

  REAL-WORLD TACTICS THAT WORK

  Cyberbullies, like other character assassins, realize that repeatedly

  bombarding their target with one-sided information devastates the

  target and sways other people’s opinions. However, you can take

  action against them.

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  The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 159

  Tactic #1: Launch a Counterattack

  WHEN MAEVE STEPPED back and examined her situation, she realized

  that the two bul ies weren’t her biggest problem. Instead, because she

  hadn’t responded to the cyberbul ying barrage, her coworkers believed

  the al egations. Maeve decided not to take it lying down. She met with

  her new boss and asked him to convene a company meeting so she

  could set the record straight. He agreed; after al , his reputation was also

  at stake.

  At the meeting she asked attendees to imagine that they’d accepted

  a job for which an internal candidate was considered a shoo-in and

  then to imagine that their reputation was trashed by anonymous post-

  ings, and that their only recourse was to take the high road or add fuel

  to the flames. “That’s what happened to me, and, without any evidence

  that those postings are true, you’ve ‘voted me off the island.’ But how

  can I convince you that I’m tel ing the truth; all I can say is that those

  postings are vengeful lies.” Maeve’s genuine appeal melted the frosty

  chil , and one by one her new coworkers apologized for letting a cyber-

  bul y trash a new employee.

  Tactic #2: Trace and Collect Evidence

  If you receive threatening messages on your cell phone via text mes-

  saging, save the texts and trace the phone number through a reverse

  look-up directory or by searching for the phone number on Google,

  and then report the harassment to the mobile phone provider.

  If cyberbullies haunt you on social media, print and save the

  posts as evidence and report the inappropriate messages to Internet

  service providers, which can trace and take action against posters

  who violate their abuse policy. Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and

  Instagram all have online mechanisms for reporting abusive con-

  tent. Twitter banned, for life, the users who sent graphic photos of

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  160 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  a corpse to Zelda Williams, daughter of Robin Williams, after the

  comedian’s tragic death. Most social media services and apps allow

  you to block individuals.

  Obtain a Cyberstalking Injunction. If you suspect a specific

  individual of cyberbullying you, you can file a civil action against

  him or her. Your attorney can then use a civil subpoena to obtain

  the person’s IP (Internet Protocol) address log-in record. If you need

  initial evidence to support the subpoena, a computer security spe-

  cialist can track many cyberbully postings using the IP address.

  Some coworker cyberbullies foolishly use their employer’s technol-

  ogy to go after you. In those cases, your IT manager can help you

  collect evidence.

  If you obtain evidence that a bully has repeatedly used electronic

  communication to cause you substantial emotional distress through

  defamatory content, you may be able to secure a non-molestation

  order or cyberstalking injunction. A judge-granted ex parte cyber-

  stalking injunction starts immediately. If you secure a final injunction,

  it lasts forever.

  Protect Yourself; Call the Police. If cyberbullies or their posts

  threaten your safety, call the police. Cyberbullies who threaten your

  life step over the line into illegal activity. The police can track down

  even anonymous cyberbullies.

  Tactic #3: Take Charge of Your Reaction

  As you learned in Chapter 5, it’s essential to act rather than react.

  Responding to a cyberbully’s attack may give the bully the atten-

  tion he craves, and fuel further aggression. Never give cyberbullies

  what they want. Don’t let them know they have your attention; block

  them and their messages.

  If you delete offensive posts impulsively, you destroy evidence you

  may need later. If you lash out, you may spur the bully to create an

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  The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 161

  infinite multitude of dummy accounts and post increasingly worse

  content.

  Involve Your Employer. If you face coworker bullies, your employer

  may take your side, particularly if it pays attention to court rul-

  ings. When Tammy Blakey sued Continental Airlines, New Jersey’s

  Supreme Court ruled that employers have “a duty to take effective

  measures to stop co-employee harassment when the employer knows

  or has reason to know” the harassment is “part of a pattern of harass-

  ment” in a setting “related to the workplace.”

  Attorney Lucinda Luke, an attorney specializing in labor and

  employment counseling and litigation, urges victims of employee

  cyberbullying to refer to “their company’s employee handbook to

  determine if there are any policies prohibiting this kind of unaccept-

  able behavior, workplace violence, harassment, and/or discrimina-

  tion. Most employee handbooks address some or all of these issues

  and direct the employee to report this behavior so the employer can

  immediately investigate and correct it. If the bullying continues, alert

  your employer that the actions taken were not successful in stopping

  the bullying.”

  Sue the Bully or Your Employer. Continental pilot Blakey sued her

  employer for not taking action to protect her, winning $875,000 from

  a jury who agreed with her.

  Tackle the Perception Battle. A bully’s slander succeeds only when

  others believe it. Defend yourself proactively by ensuring that those

  you work with recognize your integrity and worth. Sun Tzu’s military

  treatise, The Art of War, advises that a warrior best wins a war by being an individual no one wants to take on.

  Like other bullies, cyberbullies can dish it out but can’t take it.

  Don’t let cyberbullies shame you into isolation. Connect with your

  friends and coworkers and ask them to participate in a counterattack,

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  162 ❚ BEATING THE WORKPLACE BULLY

  by blocking online aggressors, reporting hurtful messages to modera-

  tors, and creating posts supporting you.

  Harness the power of technology yourself by creating a YouTube

  video that refutes the story being spread.

  Close the Door. You can prevent the bully’s attacks from reaching

  you by canceling all social media and personal email accounts. At

  work, your company’s IT provider can show you how to permanently


  filter out unwanted messages, and you can open new accounts block-

  ing the bully’s emails.

  The Employer’s Duty. As Blakey’s employer, Continental Airlines,

  learned, employers that allow employees to be cyberbullied have

  potential liability if the cyberbullying starts in the workplace. It

  often does. According to a recent survey, 48 percent of businesses

  permit all employees to “access social networking sites at work for

  non- business use.”2

  The Most Common Areas of Employer Liability

   ❚ Tweets, Facebook, or blog posts one employee makes

  about another that involve or escalate to harassment and

  originate in the workplace or spread into the workplace.

   ❚ Employees who cyberbul y on work time, or use employ-

  er-provided computers or other technological resources

  when bul ying.

   ❚ Employees who cyberbul y on employer-sponsored social

  media such as the employer’s Twitter, LinkedIn, blog, or

  Facebook page.

  Devastated by attacks from a cyberbully? Take heart. Maeve

  talked to her coworkers. Tammy took legal action. Both prevailed.

  American Management Association • www.amanet.org

  The Newest Character Assassin: The Cyberbully ❚ 163

  Your Turn: Where Are You Now?

  If you have not encountered a cyberbul y, imagine what it would

  be like if you had, and answer the fol owing questions accordingly.

  1. How would a cyberbul y’s behavior affect you?

  2. What could you do to cope?

  3. It’s more difficult for a cyberbul y to destroy your workplace

  reputation if you’ve created a strong one. In what ways can

  you demonstrate your integrity and value in your workplace

  to handicap a cyberbul y’s ability to slander you?

  4. What privacy protections do you have in place for your

  social media accounts? Each online vendor has guidelines

  for creating privacy settings. Act now to set up privacy

  protections on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media

  accounts to ward off potential assassins.

  5. It’s always better to respond strategical y than to react.

  Prior planning makes this easier. Decide the first steps you’ll

  take if attacked by a cyberbul y. Will you print the offensive

  posts immediately? Make this decision now, before you’re

  attacked and while your head is cool.

  6. If you’re a manager or a human resources professional,

 

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