Taking the Fall

by W. Ferraro

  Her non-admitting confession was enough to make him smile. Sensing her unease, he dramatically pointed to the candle in the cupcake and asked, “Shall I sing?” mirth etched upon his face.

  “Not if you want to see tomorrow,” Molly answered smugly, silently appreciating that he downplayed her less than stellar behavior.

  “Okay, no singing then . . . Happy birthday, beautiful. Make a wish.”

  With her eyes locked on his for a moment or two longer, Molly raised her hands holding her hair back to her shoulders. Closing her eyes, she gently blew out the candle and made her wish. The same wish she’d made every year since she was fifteen, hoping such a wish if it were to come true would be as easy as it seemed in her dreams.

  The fact that he was here with her and hadn’t yet disappeared should have been enough to sway her to the other side, but no such luck.

  Molly insisted that they share the cupcake, both enjoying the decadent dessert in silence in each other’s company. Hunter took Molly up on her offer for coffee, where she opted for a cup of tea.

  They discussed his day and Leah coming to visit in detail. He was so excited and had already had planned on taking some time off from the hospital to be able to spend as much time with her as he could, including the Memorial Day Festival.

  “It’ll be the first time Leah will be here to see the festival.” He beamed with excitement, mentioning the town’s annual festival.

  “Well, it sounds like you have every moment she is here all mapped out, and the festival just happens to still be one of my favorites,” Molly said as she took the last bite of the most delicious cupcake she had ever had.

  Hunter stared at her mouth, and she instantly felt her body react to such intense scrutiny.

  “You, uh, got some cupcake right there,” Hunter said as he raised his finger, indicating her chin.

  Molly raised her hand wiping at her chin and sure enough, some fluffy remnants of vanilla cupcake had indeed stuck with her.

  Embarrassed at her less than classy eating habits, she tried to make a joke. “Hey, I was saving that for later.”

  “My apologies then.” Hunter smiled.

  When the plates and forks were cleared and she had dutifully wiped down the counter, Molly looked at the man sitting across from her, afraid of what he would see. “That was delicious, Hunter. Thank you. But I know for certain that didn’t come from the bakery over on the other side of town.”

  “Such a special occasion deserved something other than the usual from the town bakery.” He drained his cup before standing, grabbing his cap, and then said, “Well, I better get going, I’ve kept you to myself long enough. I don’t want to keep you from the girls and whatever you have planned.”

  At the mention of him leaving, Molly suddenly wanted nothing more than for him to stay.

  “No, nothing planned. Sammy’s with Bob tonight.”

  “Where’s Jess?”

  “Unfortunately, Jess is currently up in her room, which tends to be where she spends most of her time, mostly by my doing. And if I know my daughter, I’m sure she is contemplating how I’m ruining her life.”

  At his look of confusion at the information, she felt the need to explain. “With me closing the restaurant, and Thursday’s being Bob’s usual weeknight, I didn’t see the sense of changing it, just for the sake the calendar date was my birthday. I had just planned on celebrating with the girls this weekend, but given Jess and my’s current relationship, I sense it will be more of a Mommy and Sammy party.”

  Voicing her true fear made Molly sick to think about it. She just couldn’t help feeling like she was at a dead end with Jess, and it was honestly breaking her heart.

  “The whole contemplating thing or is it something else?” Hunter sat back down, giving her his full attention, showing his complete willingness to be an ear for her.

  And yet, you still can’t wrap your head around how men like him aren’t a dime a dozen.

  He must have sensed her struggle because he said exactly what she needed to hear.

  “Come on. Let me be your friend, Molly. I know I said some things at the park that you are struggling with, but first and foremost, I really want to be your friend. So please talk to me. I have plenty of time.”

  Suddenly, she realized how badly she not only wanted to talk to someone but also needed to talk.

  “Jess and I are hardly even speaking these days. She is so angry all the time and I seem to be the easiest punching bag.” Without asking, she filled his coffee cup again before filling hers. “I’m starting to question my mothering ability since no matter what I do, she is unhappy about something.”

  “What is Bob’s take on her behavior?” Hunter asked, appearing impartial as he added the cream and sugar to his coffee.

  “Well, that is another problem. I’m starting to feel like a single parent rather than a co-parent. He has been less than helpful and his growing absence is getting old.”

  Hunter mumbled something under his breath, and Molly wasn’t ignorant of the fact it had to do with Bob, but she just continued to ignore it

  It felt nice to talk about the things that have been weighing her down.

  “I’m just terrified that she is going to go down a path that she won’t be able to backtrack out of. Especially running with the crowd she is running with now. Girls nowadays think it is all for fun until someone gets hurt.” Molly put the hot cup back down before adding, “And I don’t want her found in the predicament. It’s a lonely place.”

  Bringing voice to her largest distress did make her feel lighter for a moment. That was until she saw Hunter’s face. Immediately, she wondered what she’d said that was so wrong.

  Gone were all expressions of happiness and friendly concern. Clearly, her words made him struggle with something and struggle hard he did.

  Suddenly, the fear of him just getting up and walking out the door began to play out in her head. She tried to backtrack mentally about what she had said, but she couldn’t find the connection to cause his reaction. One thing was for sure, she didn’t like seeing such strife on his face. Being the fact she put it there had her stomach filling with worry double time.

  “Hunter?”

  “I’m trying, really I am Molly, but this topic just is a little too much for me.” He started to stand once more as his jaw ticked with tension and his emotional eyes looked suddenly hollow.

  She was at a loss for what happened, but she, of course, would let him remove himself if that was what he felt he needed to do.

  Hunter made it halfway to the door when he stopped, keeping his back to her. She could see his shoulders actually sink. He finally turned around to face her and the pain that she saw evident on his face was enough to threaten to bring her to her knees.

  Suddenly, she needed to know what happened

  “I’ve meant every word that I’ve said Molly. I really want to be your friend, but I also can’t help but be honest. I’m sorry you are going through this with Jess, but maybe for this particular topic, we should leave it to rest.” He sounded as if he was begging.

  Replaying what she said over and over again trying to decipher what could have possibly caused such a shift in their wonderful time thus far, she came up zilch each time.

  Feeling his departure deeply, Molly found a plea escaping her lips, “If this is about the park, I really am sorry.”

  More pain and more hurt.

  “Don’t apologize, Molly, but I’m telling you it all has to stay in the past. It just feels like Deja vu. Keeping it in the past is the only way I can move forward with you.”

  She found herself rushing to him and grabbing hold of his hand. Whether it was to keep him from leaving or wondering if she could figure out what he was talking about by her sense of touch, she didn’t know.

  “Keeping it in the past? Deja vu? Hunter, what are you talking about?” She searched his face hard and suddenly it felt like there was an entire herd of elephants in here with them.

  “Molly . . . Beautifu
l, don’t make me say it. Don’t make me reopen that wound that hasn’t ever healed.”

  But he didn’t pull away. If anything, he searched her face for a response.

  Wound? What is he talking about?

  “You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?”

  “Apparently, because it is the only way both of us are going to understand.”

  Anger overtook his eyes, and part of her was scared, but she needed to know what was going on, what changed so fast.

  “You said you meant it when you wanted to be my friend. Well, a friend wouldn’t hide something when the other asked about it.” She stood to her full height, crossing her arms and arming herself for whatever was to come her way. “So tell me, please!”

  He too stood taller, looking down at her, using his height to his advantage. His face was so close she could see each pore on his face. “Fine, you want me to say it then I’ll say it. I think if anyone can explain the downside to such choices, it would be you, Molly. After all, aren’t the fears that you are so terrified she will follow through on why you came running back here to town?” His voice was strong, as was the gaze he held to her.

  Molly inhaled sharply, as his words settled over her.

  She was suddenly sure the events of their past had been twisted in a gangly and ugly way.

  So many questions and so many places to start, but Molly couldn’t find the strength to speak because his words were still slicing through her, gouging any sort of peace and clarity this time with him held.

  Hunter waited for her to respond. Before he spoke the words that he knew he would never be able to take back, he could easily feel the anger of two decades’ old pain surface. But now that it was out there and he was looking at its effect, he suddenly felt like shit.

  The pain of his vocal assault remained on her beautiful face. He didn’t want to do it, he tried to leave, but then following through on that action caused just as much pain as the memories that flooded his brain at her words. It was as if he was stuck in limbo. He knew if he walked out the door, the chance at being with her would go with him, yet to remain seemed like just as much agony.

  His face searched hers. He could hear her shortness of breath and the tinge of color on her face, which he usually found so attractive now showed only the solidity of the person in front of him.

  They said silence was deafening, and Hunter never realized how true such a statement was until now.

  Her usual emotion-filled face was blank, and he felt the loss instantaneously.

  Talk about driving blind.

  Being away from her these last few days was enough to drive him mad. He threw himself into work, picking up extra shifts. He had tried the park a time or two, and both times resulted in him sitting on a bench watching the parking lot.

  Plain and simple, it sucked.

  Ordering the custom-made cupcake just made sense when he opened his eyes this morning. He had left halfway through his shift at the hospital to go pick it up a couple of towns over. The entire rest of his shift, all he could think was getting to see her.

  He needed this opening; he couldn’t let this opportunity pass.

  He chose to walk from the municipal parking area, considering the evening’s weather was so nice, but as he took every step closer to her and the restaurant, he feared what would happen if she still had customers, or worse, had already left for the evening.

  He didn’t have a backup plan; it was an all-in kind of plan.

  Relief and delight overtook him when he walked through the front door to Molly’s and there his vision of beautiful perfection stood, alone. All the tables and booths were empty and the kitchen was dark. He had her alone and part of him wanted to shout in triumph.

  With the low lighting overhead, her golden hair looked soft and silky. It hung in soft waves down around her shoulders with a single clip holding one side away from her face. As usual, she wore only modest make-up, natural and light, but oh, so appealing on her already exquisite face. Her natural coloring played at her cheekbones and her lips were brushed with a pale pink gloss. She wore a black three-quarter length sleeve blouse, buttoned conservatively. Nonetheless, the stiff fabric couldn’t hide the perfect swells beneath its cover. And the locket the girls had given her sparkled at her neck. Soft looking denim emphasized her perfect ass, which looked like you could bounce a quarter off it. The flat black ballet shoes she wore gave a hint to dainty feet that he so desperately wanted to offer to rub.

  This was the last thing he had wanted when he came here tonight. His visit was not only to make amends but also to show her that he would endure however long she needed to realize they belonged together. But somehow it had all gone to shit and now he found himself damning his tongue and his inability to let such a wonderful evening be darkened.

  She deserved better. He wanted to give her better. Hell, she was better.

  And he’d fucked it up.

  Way to go, Dennison.

  But then their bubble of perfection had popped.

  When she said she had things on her mind, he jumped at the chance to be her ear of confidence. Never in his wildest dreams did he think her very point of fear concerning her daughter would be his breaking point.

  There always seemed to be a mountain between them, and now it was none other than Everest.

  Always the peacemaker, she told him to speak without a filter.

  And he was stupid enough to do so.

  Maybe it was time he backtracked and made his honesty not sting so much. He needed to do something; the panic that threatened to choke him was gripping his neck tighter.

  “Look, it is okay. You don’t need to feel ashamed any longer. So, you transferred back to attend UNH and lived at home. Many kids do. It isn’t like everyone knows or talks about what brought you back.”

  Even to his ears, it sounded insensitive and mocking. The fact that the very thoughts of such events made his stomach turn.

  However, at this moment, he had to put his feelings aside and do whatever he could to ensure she wouldn’t throw him out.

  She finally looked at him and what he anticipated he would see—hurt, embarrassment, or even anger—was absent and the emotion that surfaced was the last he’d expected; incomprehension.

  “Well, thanks for that excuse lined path you’re offering, but I can tell you that I’m not ashamed for transferring back and as far as my choices of why I didn’t continue on at Endicott College, I just decided it wasn’t the place for me,” she whispered in explanation.

  A smart man would have taken the olive branch she offered to escape this abyss, but apparently, smarts were not his friend tonight.

  “It isn’t like it is a foreign notion for college freshman to use their newfound freedom to discover and exploit their sexuality. I just hope you were safe.” He couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that followed.

  You sound like a doctor, not a friend, and certainly not an interested man.

  Images of her doing all the things Allison had told him couldn’t help but attack his brain. The cupcake suddenly threatened to reappear.

  Soon, wide green eyes searched his face, speaking volumes but saying nothing.

  “Hunter, do you think I left Boston because I got into some kind of trouble?” she whispered slowly as if each word’s enunciation were somehow fitting missing pieces back into the puzzle.

  If the sanity and hope for all mankind were on his shoulders, Hunter would fail epically.

  “Lots of girls do. The important thing is you knew when you were in too deep. And now you can use your own personal experiences to veer Jessica off the same course.”

  After the damage of her image was done, of course.

  “You seem to believe things about me that couldn’t be further from the truth,” Molly remarked finally showing signs of the hurt and anger she was feeling.

  “Molly, listen . . .”

  Now her annoyance was evident. “No, I think I listened long enough. You are the one who isn’t listening.”
r />   Neither of them moved, remaining rooted to the carpet.

  “Pardon me, Hunter, but I’m at a deficit here. I’m trying to keep up . . . whatever you think happened in Boston, didn’t.”

  He began to rebuff by shaking his head and started to offer up another excuse, but Molly had officially put an end to his attempt. Grabbing hold of his chin, she stopped him.

  Her physical touch was sheer ecstasy, but the way she was looking at him was telling him something was off.

  He stared into her emerald pools and something just began to click.

  No, it couldn’t be.

  He had an overwhelming feeling he had made a terrible decades’ old mistake.

  Hope is clouding my memory.

  Then she said the one thing that he had no doubt was anything but complete truth.

  “I was a virgin when I came back from Boston,” she stated slowly and clearly, all the while her eyes never leaving his.

  All the years that had passed by were proving to him it was a lie, yet without a moment’s doubt, he knew it wasn’t.

  No!

  Please!

  He had to be sure. He had to sound like a complete asshole to confirm the truth.

  “You mean to tell me you didn’t fuck your way through the entire college student body?” He knew his choice of words was crude, but it was as if his tongue had lost all forms of politeness.

  The look on her face expressed the level of shock and hurt she was experiencing.

  FUCK ME! You stupid, stupid asshole!

  Hunter walked three feet away before turning around to stare at her in disbelief. He just kept pacing, running his hands through his hair and mumbling to himself.

  And his sweet, beautiful girl let him.

  “Hunter?”

  With his large stride, he was in front of her a moment later. Crouching low so they were eye to eye and forgoing the line he had been keeping, he cupped her face with his hands and said in a quiet pained filled voice, “I will answer whatever questions you want but just answer this one last question for me. Did you sleep with anyone your first semester of school?”