by W. Ferraro
They had been home thirty minutes; Leah had just gotten out of the shower when she came into Hunter’s room.
The entire time she had been in the shower, he could hear her crying, and all he could do was sit on his bed with his head in his hands thinking about how many ways the fire could have gone wrong.
Pulling himself out of his own paternal grief, he looked at Leah, who stood in a pink and gray flannel nightgown with still wet hair.
“Moonbeam, we are home.”
“No! I want to go to Mom’s. I can’t hurt anyone there. I want to go now!”
Hunter was lost.
She was in so much internal pain and he couldn’t do anything about it. He tried telling her that it wasn’t her fault and that no one was mad, but it had fallen on deaf ears.
“Moonbeam, I know a lot has happened but . . .”
“Dad, I want to go home now!”
He wanted to beg her to change her mind.
“No one is mad at you. You heard Molly and Uncle Gage. It wasn’t your fault. You tried to help. Accidents happen. All that matters is that you and the others got out unharmed.”
But instead of his words making headway, the tears just rolled that much faster down her cheeks.
Now Leah’s eyes weren’t the only ones that were wet.
He couldn’t bear to say no to her.
“Please, Daddy,” was a soft-spoken plea and the last straw to break his back.
Hunter walked to where she stood and gave her a long squeeze as they walked together to her room. When he reached the door, he took the cell phone from his pocket and dialed Allison.
Hunter retold the tale of the evening to Leah’s mother and agreed when she said she would be there to retrieve Leah at noon the next day—three days earlier than originally planned.
He looked back at Leah. “Mom will be here tomorrow.” Helping his daughter get into her bed, he kissed her on the forehead and bid her goodnight. When he reached the door, he turned back to her still crying face and said, “I love you Leah, always.”
He reminded her that he would be just downstairs, and he closed the door.
When in the hallway alone, he leaned his head against the wall. He had the worst feeling that his world was slowly imploding.
Only hours ago, just downstairs, he and Molly made love. To him, it was more, he had branded her into his soul. There was no going back; he needed her to live, to survive.
Now, after the fire, and finally, with Leah wanting to leave, he was close to breaking, and only Molly could hold him together. He let out a deep breath and stood up as he pulled his phone out again and dialed her number. But this time it didn’t ring, it just went straight to voicemail.
Text will have to do.
I need you, beautiful.
He held the phone expecting a reply within moments, but when those moments turned to minutes and nothing, his feeling of impending doom grew greater.
Like an insecure asshole, he texted again.
Beautiful?
And again.
Please don’t do this.
His fear was screaming for him to run to Molly. As long as he could touch her, they could work this out—he knew it. But with Leah asleep, he could not leave.
He continued to call her, growing angrier and more filled with dread as her generic voicemail continued to pick up.
More texts only resulted in more nonresponses and increased emotion in Hunter.
After sending what he assumed to be the hundredth text and equal numbered voicemail, there was a knock on his door.
Rushing down the stairs to the door, he swung it open to be in complete relief to see her face. Without a word, he crossed the threshold to where she stood on the stoop and lifted his hands to each side of her face, bringing his lips to hers. He needed to feel her this way. Using this as the only surefire way to communicate all that he felt and hoping it was enough to make the connection her overworking mind would understand.
He found relief and solace in her reaction to his kiss. Her tongue entwined with his, almost overpowering his. She scraped her teeth over his tongue and lips, relaying to him that she too needed an outlet for the overdrawn emotions of the day.
Their kiss lightened and with his forehead against hers, he stepped backward, bringing her with him, and closed the door. With a final sweet and light kiss to her lips, he let out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding.
“You nearly gave me a heart attack when you didn’t return any of my calls.” He smiled pulling her closer to him as he leaned his head into her neck for his choice of a connection.
But the warmth he expected to feel was pulled away from his seeking face as was her body as she stepped away.
Fuck.
Hunter watched as Molly walked over to the alcove where the door leading to his garage and utility room was. She was putting space between them, and he didn’t like it.
When she turned around to face him, the look she gave him was the last he ever expected, that of sheer defiance.
“I won’t take too much of your time.”
Immediately, he widened his stance and crossed his arms. The long sleeves of his knit shirt pulled tautly with his muscular arms.
“You, beautiful, can have as much of my time as you want.” Knowing this statement could be either taken sarcastically or sincerely, he honestly didn’t know which one he meant.
He too had been through the emotional wringer.
Molly reached for the heart locket at her throat, drawing his eyes and showing her nervousness.
“Hunter, please don’t make this any harder than it already has to be.” Her voice shook.
“Talk to me,” Hunter pleaded as he dropped his arms and began making his way toward her.
She halted him by lifting her hands.
“Look, I came to tell you that this thing between us isn’t going to work. I think it is best if we just end it, now, tonight.”
He had to give it to her; she said each word with distinction and gave a good play as to actually meaning them.
He just looked at her, trying not to let his anger come out.
He paced the small space trying to rein in the threats on his tongue, and when he thought he had good control over it, he turned back to face her.
“I have a problem with two things that you just said,” he said in his calm doctor tone.
Molly looked taken aback. “What?”
Lifting his hand so that his index and middle fingers made a “v” he twisted his wrist a few times, showing her his two fingers from different directions then added, “Yes, two things.”
“Such as?”
He leaned back against the stair rail, crossing his arms again over his chest as well one foot over the other. “One, that you referred to our relationship as a thing, and the other, that you actually think you can just say we are over and walk out my door.”
Placing her purse down on the floor, Molly turned her attention back to him. “I understand you are upset at my decision but don’t make this more difficult than it has to be.”
And that was the final crack in his frail composure.
“Upset at your decision! You are goddamned right, I’m upset!” Hunter bellowed, breaking the distance between them with two steps. Practically nose-to-nose with her now, he continued, “Might I remind you, Molly, not four hours ago, what you and I were doing, the things you and I discussed for the future! And now after the fire you are saying ‘fuck everything’ and see you later?”
Now it was Molly’s turn to let her temper show.
“I’m sorry that I can no longer live in the state of delusion that I have been walking around in since you and I started this!”
“This?” Hunter hissed. “You say it like it is a mistake.”
He watched as she held her body ramrod straight with her hands fisted at her sides. He honestly expected a stomp of her foot to occur next.
“Well, maybe it is.” He just stared not believing what she said, before she added, “Ac
tually, I believe there isn’t any maybe about it.”
That slashed straight through to his heart.
Hunter watched as she closed those beautiful green eyes of hers, taking several deep breaths, before opening her eyes back up, and looking him straight on. This time when she spoke, her voice was softer but still filled with conviction. “Hunter, maybe it’s too late for us to get a happily ever after.”
“You don’t know what you are saying.” Hunter spoke around the knot in his throat. “What changed?”
“What changed? How about our kids almost dying! Don’t you think that is reason enough to reevaluate our current feeling of delusional grandeur?”
It was now his turn to taking that calming breath and think before he spoke.
“Look, you’ve been through a lot tonight, but beautiful, you can’t be making rash decisions now. It is the adrenaline of all that has happened that has you talking crazy.”
“I am neither talking crazy, nor am I wrong,” she insisted. “This is such a mess. We are such a mess.”
“I don’t know what has happened to make you suddenly think all this, but if I am one hundred percent proof positive about anything in this world, it is us, Molly.”
“It doesn’t matter!”
“Bullshit!” he shouted, before lowering his voice to hide the panic that was overtaking him. “You are everything, Molly! Everything to me, please let’s work this out. I promise in the light of day, it will look different.” He bent his knees so he was looking more on her level, moving his head to ensure he was looking directly into the eyes he had memorized a thousand times over.
Green stared into blue, and when he thought he saw the softening he was so earnestly looking for, she proved to him just how wrong he was.
“Life is not unicorns and rainbows, Hunter. We are not perfection! I’ve just spent the last hour holding my daughter’s agonizing body only to realize I don’t know her at all. My head has been in the clouds where you are concerned, when things that have threatened to tear my family apart have been staring me in the face!” Molly’s eyes began to fill with tears. “Don’t you see . . . I should have been more attuned to my daughter’s pain. She hates me so much, and you know what, she has every right to. She has been screaming for attention, and I haven’t been there to listen. I should have seen the signs, but I didn’t. Because I couldn’t wait to be here with you, in your bed, worried about my own needs rather than those of my child.”
Molly stepped away from him, and he felt it like a slap in the face. “Those were our children in that fire. They could have died, Hunter!”
“So because you and I were together it was a cosmic irrationality resulting in fire? That is a poor excuse, Molly.”
“Look, I get that you don’t see it, but unlike you, I don’t have a choice. Jess is hurting, and she has to be my priority, just like she should have been all along. I am her mother and I need to make everything right.”
“At your own expense?” he hissed unable to hide his pain any longer.
Molly bent down to retrieve her bag, resting the dual straps on her shoulder. She said so quietly he thought he didn’t hear her, “Sacrificing for my children will never be a price I won’t pay.”
“It isn’t one or the other, Molly. Let me help you. Let me help Jess. Whatever she needs, whatever either of you need, we can figure it out together.”
“No. You are not listening to me. It is over. It has to be, Hunter. Please just accept it.”
“Fuck no!” Hunter yelled.
The tone of his voice caused Molly to step back. She lifted her hand, placing it on her chest where her fingers could touch her pendant.
He shook his head and squeezed his eyes so tight that they threatened to pop from the pressure, but then he relaxed his face and when he opened his eyes this time, he couldn’t help the slow dry malice-laced laugh. “But I get it. You need a scapegoat, and lucky for you, I’m here. You were just looking for something to push me away, and how convenient you have found it.”
Molly remained mute.
Hunter snickered coldly once more. “You don’t even deny it.”
Molly walked past him toward the door, but Hunter got there before she could open the door. He placed his hand against it so she couldn’t open it.
“Why do you want away from me so badly?” he whispered pained.
She continued to look at his hand where it rested on the door. “It isn’t my problem that you are making this about you. I’m telling you that if I have to choose between my daughters and my love life then it is no competition, and it will never be a competition. They win hands down, every time.”
“That is an Oscar award winning ability right there, but beautiful, you can’t pretty up bullshit. Still smells and sticks to everything. Add in the rest of this unnecessary drama of falling on your sword and you’ll have A-list actresses wanting to take lessons from you.”
Now she turned to face him, and the pain that he saw etched in every corner of her face had the capability to bring him to his knees.
“Okay, you want a more honest answer, Dr. Dennison, here is one for you that doesn’t have an ounce of bullshit within a mile of it. This is truer than true, because you,” she pushed her index finger into his chest as she seethed, “believed such vicious lies about me without even giving me a chance to defend myself all those years ago. You caused me to think I had done something wrong for years when in fact it was you who caused so much pain and heartache. Yet after you hurl some sweet words and a couple dozen flowers, I just opened my legs for you.”
Now his biggest fear had come to light; she hadn’t forgiven him.
It left him staggering. Molly used the opportunity to pull the door open and say over her shoulder as she crossed the threshold once more, “This fire was just karma’s way of setting me right.”
He stepped through the threshold reaching her in a few steps.
“Beautiful, you can’t be serious. I love you, Molly. I’m begging you, don’t do this.”
She opened her car door and tossed her purse in then she turned back to face him. “I’m only setting things right, I have to. We could have lost our children. They have to be my priority. Those girls are the only thing I’ve done right in my whole life! I owe them everything, and I will be damned if I don’t live up to that promise. Jess is giving me a second chance. I can’t live with myself knowing that being with you could cause them potentially any pain going forward. So, easy solution, remove the variable from the equation. I can’t be here with you, or anyone, and know there is a chance I will make my kids suffer. It has to stop. It has to end.”
“So you’d rather walk around hurt and in pain than let anyone else?”
She hung her head and let her shoulders drop. “I’ve done it for so many years. I don’t know how else to be.”
“Bullshit, you’ve been happy these last weeks.”
But now when she met his eyes there was no emotion there, they were just blank. “Have I been? Or have I behaved the way that made it easier for you to function?”
As long as she stayed here with him, it wasn’t over. As long as she didn’t get in that car, he could salvage his world.
“You are a coward, Molly. Life isn’t about karma and regret, it’s about finding love and happiness and never letting go no matter what.”
“Not when my children and their happiness potentially could be collateral damage.”
He took the last steps that separated them, placed a hand on her cheek and spoke from the heart. “I would never say they are nor would I ever put you in the position to choose between them or me, but nor are you, Molly! Don’t take the fall for the mistakes we both made. Don’t do that. If you want someone to blame, blame me! Let me carry the burden of regret! Because I do every day! It should have been us then. I should have just told you how I felt rather than be a jealous kid. I wanted you so bad for so long and I listened to someone else’s lie and took it for truth rather than asking the question myself. I can’t regret it a
ll in its entirety because to do so would result in Leah never being born, and that to me is just unfathomable. But one thing I can do is correct it and make it right, now, at this moment and going forward. You and I belong together. I knew it then just as I know it now. And for that you cannot ask me to let you walk out of my life. I won’t allow it!”
“Well, then it is a good thing I’m not asking your permission. We are over, Hunter. It has to be this way. Truth be told, we should have never been.”
Molly got in her car, closed the door, and pulled out of his driveway. Driving away, she never saw the agony in Hunter’s eyes with her parting shot.
Hunter knew he should have chased after her, but hearing her words, the most malicious and tormenting words ever uttered, his feet were rooted to the ground.
Somewhere around 3AM, Molly gave up on the notion of sleep. Ensuring her girls were sound asleep, she left her parents’ place and headed over to the restaurant. She needed to be by herself; to think and to lick her wounds, as the saying went.
As she drove through town, she realized how everything looked the same, yet different—like she was looking at things through different eyes. The town that she loved and couldn’t imagine living anywhere but suddenly felt strange and unfamiliar. She knew why—Hunter.
The entire town was etched with memories of him sometime in her life.
She remembered even a time that she tried to find Reed, the Dennison in which she shared the same year, attractive, but he in that way just never clicked for her. No, to Molly it was one of his older brothers to who shined brighter to Molly. He shined the brightest of them all.
The memories flooded her as she weaved her way through the practically deserted roads of Clearwater Falls. No matter where she looked, she could see him or a time when their paths had crossed. Whether from recent memory or from years ago, memory and images in time popped up all around her. Like the sidewalk by Garland’s Pharmacy where Molly’s shoelace became entangled in the metal pedal of her bike. She couldn’t untangle it herself and the tension from the knotted lace on her ankle had tears pouring down her face. But then Hunter had appeared with his pocketknife and he cut the lace, removing her shoe to check her ankle and make sure no physical damage had been done. Molly guessed she had been about eight.