Roped & Tied

by Ronald H Keyser

  “All right, then,” said Jake as they sealed the bet with a handshake. He finished with a laugh, “You want to give me that money now? Might be a little tough to take if you’re handing me a hundred dollar bill the same time you’re listening to a pretty young thing tell you how it would have been better if your dick was as big as mine.”

  “Hah! We’ll see about that.” Willie pulled the front door open and added, “After you. Age before beauty.” He followed Jake inside toward the sounds of a country band playing a halfway decent cover of “Take This Job and Shove It.” Before they made it into the back where the band was, they bellied up to the u-shaped bar and Jake tipped his hat to the bartender while ordering loudly over the music and crowd noise, “Bar keep, I need two Budweisers and a couple shots of Cuervo.” He took a moment to look the crowd over as he added, “No salt…no lime, and start a tab for me and my friend here, will you?”

  “Sure thing.” The bartender turned around to reach into a cooler for the beers. A minute later, two cold bottles of Budweiser sat on the bar next to two small shot glasses filled with tequila. “What’s gonna be the name on the tab?” asked the bartender.

  “O’Brien,” Jake said.

  “No, no…the name’s Butler.” Willie pulled a hundred dollar bill out of his wallet. “This one’s on me. Let me know when that’s gone and we’ll start all over.” He slapped the bill on the bar.

  “Gotcha. My name’s Mike.” The bartender picked up the money. “Let me know when you guys need anything,” he added as he turned to take an order at the far end of the busy bar.

  “Thanks, will do,” said Willie as he and Jake raised their shot glasses. “What are we toasting to?”

  “Getting lucky,” answered Jake.

  “Of course,” said Willie. They clinked the glasses and downed the shots. He was the first to chase it down with a quaff of beer before asking. “So what changed your mind about coming out and celebrating?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Jake swallowed a large gulp of beer. “I guess I was a little sore about you beating me last week and I didn’t handle it so good.”

  “Don’t think nothing of it,” answered Willie. “I guess I’d have been hot, too, if it had come out the other way.”

  “Maybe so,” said Jake. He got Willie’s attention by holding up his beer for another toast. “But here’s to better late than never.”

  “Cheers,” they said as Mike stepped back in front of them.

  “You guys Jake O’Brien and Willie Butler?” he asked.

  “Are the cops asking already?” answered Willie, grinning.

  “Yeah…we just got here,” chimed in Jake.

  The bartender laughed, glancing to the end of the bar. “No. It’s those two blondes down there. They said they recognize you, said you’re both professional rodeo cowboys. Stars, actually.”

  Jake and Willie turned to look at the girls. The nearest one with her back turned to them had her hair up in a bun and wore a white western shirt. The other girl wore blue and playfully twisted a strand of shoulder-length hair. She smiled, holding up her beer to signify a polite “hello.” Mike rubbed his neatly trimmed goatee and added, “They want to buy you guys a drink.”

  “Stars, huh? Cha-ching!” Willie held up his beer in response.

  Jake tipped his hat to the girl facing them and answered, “You tell that pretty young thing we’ll be down there momentarily.” He leaned over the bar and asked the bartender in a low voice, “We can’t get a peek at the other one…she won’t turn around. You sure this ain’t a set-up?”

  “A set-up? What are you talking about?’ Mike looked puzzled.

  “You know,” chimed in Willie quietly, “one of those partner deals. The pretty girl wants to get laid, but only if her ugly friend gets laid, too.”

  “Oh, no.” Mike stood straight and shook his head. He paused, then leaned back over and added with a smile as he set both palms on the bar top, “In my professional opinion…which is extensive, I might add…I’d do the happy-slappy with either one, but the one wearing the white top…she might be turned around the other way, but she’s prettier than the girl in blue.”

  “Really?” said Jake with a laugh. “The happy-slappy?”

  “Yeah. I made that up myself. You can use it, though,” answered Mike with a grin. “And, by the way, they’re sitting down now and you can’t see, but those jeans they’re wearing are filled with legs that reach all the way up to the back of their necks…if you know what I mean.”

  Jake straightened, turned toward the two girls and leaned against the bar with his left hip. He paused as he put his left boot on the foot rail before saying, “That’s good news, then. Tell them we’d be delighted to make their acquaintance.”

  “You want me to serve you guys here,” asked the bartender before he nodded at the girls, “or set ’em up over there?”

  “How ’bout over there. Why not?” said Jake. “Two more Cuervos for us…and set them up a couple, too.”

  “Coming right up,” responded Mike.

  Willie turned his attention away from the girls to look at Jake. “We ain’t been here five minutes and looks like we already hit the jack pot.”

  “Now we’ve got a little work to do. Time to go bowling,” said Jake.

  “I’ll set the pins up,” answered Willie. He waved at Mike and asked, “Hey, barkeep, where’s the restroom around here?”

  The bartender pointed toward the far side of the room and answered, “Right around that corner.”

  “Thanks.” Willie looked at Jake. “Not that it’s gonna make a big difference, but I hope I get the one in the blue shirt.”

  “We’ll see. I’ll let you know as soon as you get back,” said Jake. He turned his attention back to the girl who had been smiling at them for the last few minutes to see that she kept her eyes glued on Willie as he walked away from the bar. Willie was going to be pleased.

  Jake whispered to himself, “All right….Willie gets the one in blue and I get to see what’s behind door number 2…everybody wins.”

  A few minutes later, Willie walked back. “Well, Jake, which is it?”

  “Blue,” answered Jake, grinning.

  Willie picked up his beer off the bar. “Come on, then, time to go mingle with some of our fans.”

  Jake grabbed his own beer and followed Willie as they made their way around a dozen occupied stools before arriving at the end of the bar. Jake kept his eyes on the girl wearing the white shirt and said, with a slightly exaggerated drawl, “Howdy, ladies. Me and my friend here really appreciate the drinks you sent our way. We thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it,” answered the girl in white. She turned to face Jake for the first time.

  “I’ll be damned!” stammered Jake. He glanced around to see if he might have startled the bartender or patrons around him before he added, “I know you…I mean, I don’t know you. I’ve seen you. We talked.”

  Willie started, “You’re the girl in the…”

  “Yes, we’ve met,” interrupted the girl with a coy smile. “Once. I didn’t know if you boys would remember.”

  Jake set his beer on the bar top, shook his head and said, “Whooeeey! Who’d a thought?” He turned his attention back to the girl in white as he took his hat off, held it to his chest, and extended his hand. She shook his hand. He added with as much courtesy as he could muster, “I need to do this right proper.”

  He glanced at her left hand to see she no longer wore the diamond ring. “It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Jake O’Brien…and this here’s my good buddy and travelin’ partner, Willie Butler.”

  “Nice to meet you boys,” both girls said in unison.

  “And what might your names be?” Willie looked the girl in blue over with a smile.

  “I’m Stephanie,” said the girl in blue. She shook Willie’s hand.

  “And I’m Dani,” answered the other, slowly but seductively pulling her hand from Jake’s.

  The bartender arrived w
ith shots and asked, “You ladies want salt and lime with these?”

  “No, thanks,” said Dani. She looked at Jake with a flirtatious grin, gazing at him from head to toe. She added, “I’d much rather have mine naked.”

  Jake was taken aback by her answer, but no one would have known it by the way he smiled. “Cheers. Here’s to some things being a lot better naked.”

  “And more fun, too,” added Dani with a laugh before they downed their shots and chased the tequila with a swig of beer.

  Jake set his bottle back on the bar and wiped his lips before he looked at Dani and asked, “So what brought you two ladies here tonight?”

  Dani squirmed in her chair a bit before replying, “Well, if you must know, we’re here on business.” She glanced at Stephanie and smiled before adding, “You see, our family is in the iron and steel business.”

  “Really?” asked Willie as he snapped his fingers. “Are you part of the…what’s the name…the Kaisers…yeah, that’s them…Kaiser Aluminum. Are y’all one of them?”

  “Oh, no,” Dani shook her head. She leaned in and whispered, “You have it all wrong. You see, my momma irons and my daddy steals.”

  Jake laughed loudly, then grabbed his beer and held it up. “Here’s to ironing and stealing…at least the stealing, anyway.” All four clanked their bottles in a toast.

  Willie observed, after a brief pause, “Y’all look like sisters.”

  “Is it that obvious?’ Dani smiled.

  Jake looked back and forth between the two girls for a moment before replying, “I can see it, sure. Where y’all from?”

  “I live in Tucson,” Dani said. “My sister—Stephanie—used to live in California for a spell, but she just moved back home.”

  “And what brings you to Yuma?” asked Jake.

  “The rodeo.” Dani set her beer on the bar. She glanced at Stephanie. “My sister’s been staying with me for a few days, so we decided to come down here and watch. By the way, sorry about your run today. That was a bad break.”

  “You saw,” Jake sighed, shaking his head.

  “Yes, I did,” answered Dani.

  “But congratulations on yours.” Stephanie looked at Willie and smiled.

  Jake changed the subject. “Thank you, but correct me if I’m wrong,” he said with a grimace as he scratched the side of his head, “That sexy accent you girls have sounds like y’all are from Texas.”

  Dani cocked her head as she looked at Jake and answered, “You’re right. We are.”

  “Where ’bouts?” asked Willie.

  “Ah, our home town,” said Dani, “you’d never know that little old dot on the map was there if you weren’t looking for it…and, even if you did, you might have a hard time trying to find it.”

  “Try me,” answered Jake.

  “All right, then. You know where Childress is?” asked Dani.

  “Who doesn’t?” Jake shrugged. “Pass through there all the time.”

  “It’s right outside of there,” said Stephanie, taking another sip of beer.

  “Wouldn’t be Tell, would it?” asked Jake.

  “How would you know anything about Tell, Texas?” Dani looked surprised. “Nobody knows where that is. Unless you’re from there, you’d never know it existed.”

  “Well,” said Jake, setting his beer on the bar, “I know of a roper who came out of there by the name of Caleb Harrison. You ever heard of him?”

  The two sisters glanced at each other with a secretive smile before Dani looked back at Jake and answered, “That’s our Daddy.”

  “No shit!” said Jake loudly before tipping his hat and adding, “Sorry about that, ladies, sorry for the profanity.” He grinned. “What I meant is…”

  “Yeah. No shit,” interrupted Dani with a smile.

  Jake took off his hat and rubbed the top of his head. “I’ll be damned.” He pointed at Willie as he put his hat back on and added, “I was just talking to Willie here the other day about him.” He looked back at Dani and finished, “I knew he was a hell of a roper…but I never knew he had such a beautiful daughter.”

  “Plural…daughters!” exclaimed Willie, grinning at Stephanie.

  “Aren’t you boys sweet.” Stephanie smiled.

  “No, ma’am,” answered Jake, “just honest.”

  Dani glanced at her sister, and nodded toward the bathrooms before the two girls rose and took their purses off the backs of their bar stools. Dani looked at Jake. “Can you excuse us for a moment? We’ll be right back.”

  “Sure thing.” Jake moved out of the way to give the girls room.

  “You two don’t go anywhere,” said Stephanie.

  Jake looked at Dani and grinned from ear to ear. “We won’t, but y’all best hurry. If you’re not back by this time day after tomorrow, we’re outta here.”

  The girls giggled at the remark, and Jake and Willie watched them walk away through the crowd.

  “Damn.” Willie grabbed his beer and finished the last of it. “What’s the odds running into that girl again, huh?”

  “Don’t know and don’t care,” answered Jake as he held up two fingers to let the bartender know they needed more beer. “All I care about is she ain’t wearing that ring on her finger anymore.”

  “Yeah, I noticed,” replied Willie. “But I’m calling bullshit on that one. Judging by the look on your face, I bet you’d do just about anything to get her under the covers…ring or not.”

  “Maybe so.” Jake kept his eyes on the girls until they were lost in the crowd. The bartender set fresh beers on the bar, and the cowboys grabbed them. Jake turned to Willie and added as he raised his bottle, “Here’s to beautiful girls.”

  “From Tell, Texas,” added Willie as he raised his.

  “May God bless them,” they said together before taking a long swig of beer.

  They spent the next several minutes talking about the next day’s event and what each needed to do to make their trip to Yuma successful. Jake knew he had to place first for the next two days and have the leaders screw up somehow to have any chance of winning the overall first prize, but what made the short conversation hard was listening to Willie brag about how he didn’t think anyone else could beat him, especially now that Jake was so far behind. Their talk only lasted a few minutes, but Jake couldn’t wait for the girls to come back so he could get his mind on something else.

  Finally, after what seemed to Jake like an eternity, both girls could be seen making their way toward them through the crowded bar.

  “Ladies,” said Jake as both men gave the girls room to get back in their seats.

  “You waited.” Dani feigned surprise as she hung her purse back on her stool.

  “Ma’am,” said Jake with a smile, “I don’t think my horse could drag me away from where I’m standing right now.”

  “Really?” answered Dani slyly. She sat down, then motioned Jake closer before leaning over to whisper in his ear, ‘What about me?”

  Jake pulled back and shook his head as if he didn’t understand.

  She leaned over again and asked softly, “Could I pull you away from here?” Dani sat up straight and glanced at her sister busy talking to Willie before she smiled and looked back at Jake. She mouthed the words, “Do you want to fuck me?”

  Jake leaned over and whispered in her ear, “There is nothing I’d rather do. But you said you were married.”

  “I’m not married. You saw my engagement ring.” Dani squirmed in her chair. “You might say I’m sort of engaged.”

  Jake shook his head. “Sort of engaged? That’s like saying you’re kind of pregnant.”

  Dani sat upright in her chair and put her forefinger on Jake’s lips “It’s probably best if we leave that subject alone for now, don’t you think?”

  Jake paused a moment to stare into her bright blue eyes. “Yeah, maybe so,” he said, “for now.”

  “For now,” repeated Dani, reaching for her beer. Then she asked nonchalantly, “Where you boys staying?”

  “
We’re over at the Maverick Inn,” answered Jake, “just down the road a piece.”

  “I know where it is. You boys have one room or two?” asked Dani with a smile.

  “Two…always. Willie snores like a son of a bitch.”

  “Excellent. You ready?” Dani stood.

  “Right now?” asked Jake with surprise.

  Dani grabbed her purse off the back of her stool as she answered, “Can you think of a better time?’

  “Well…no,” stammered Jake.

  “I can’t either.” Dani’s eyes twinkled mischievously. She set her black handbag on the bar and fumbled through it before removing a car key with a Mercedes Benz logo imprinted on it. She handed it to her sister and said, “Here. Don’t wreck it.”

  Stephanie grabbed the key. “Don’t worry…I won’t. You two have fun.”

  Willie looked dumbfounded as he realized what was happening. He looked at Jake, raised the palms of his hands and asked, “Where y’all going?”

  Dani glanced at Willie as she moved away. “Stephanie will give you a lift.” She pointed to her bar stool and added with a smile, “You can have this seat.”

  “And the rest of my beer.” Jake put the nearly full bottle of Budweiser on the bar. “See you in the morning,” he added with a slow smile before he turned and followed Dani through the crowd.

  * * *

  “Thank you,” said Dani as Jake held the door open.

  “Yes, ma’am. Over here.” Jake pointed as they walked across the parking lot toward his truck, past a group of four burly men wearing white straw cowboy hats, two of whom were sitting on the tailgate of a black Ford F-150.

  “Howdy, boys.” Dani gave them a smile on the way by.

  All four responded with whistles and catcalls.

  Jake smiled as one told him he had to be the luckiest guy on the planet.

  “You know,” said Jake as they came to the truck and he unlocked the passenger side door, “I’m beginning to think you’re not shy at all.”

  “Who, little old me?” asked Dani in a strong southern belle accent. She feigned an innocent grin as she climbed into the truck. “What could possibly give you that idea?”

  Jake held the door open for a moment as he looked her in the eyes before answering with a laugh, “I pick up on the little things. It’s a gift.”