IMPERFECT MONSTER

by Jennifer Bene

  I started to turn over so he could fuck me while standing, one of his favorite positions, but he stopped me. “No, I want to see you.”

  Damn that warm little flutter in my chest, I needed to crush it before I lost myself to this monster. But then he moved onto the bed, settling between my thighs, his chest pinning my hips as he kissed across my ribs. Taking one nipple, and then the other, to gently suck and tease, leaving me to writhe against him, seeking friction that I couldn’t find. “Andre, please!”

  “Hush,” he demanded, and I whined as he kissed and licked his way down, leading his mouth lower until he ran his tongue between my pussy lips and growled.

  In an instant all the sweet touches shifted, and he devoured me. Fingers slid deep, holding my twisting body to the bed so he could do what he wanted. Another orgasm and I was pleading for him to fuck me, wanting him on top of me, inside me, but after the next I was screaming for it. Desperate, needy, craving the feel of him filling me, the power of his thrusts, the weight of him holding me down. “Jesus Christ, Andre, please! Please fuck me, please.”

  A low growl rumbled against my tender cunt just before he nipped my thigh and then shifted over me. Propping himself up on one arm he bent my knees and looked down to slide slowly inside. I couldn’t help but watch as well, staring down between us as he eased himself in, not rushing, even though we both wanted it, and I managed to keep my hips still, to wait.

  When he was finally balls deep, skin to skin, he dropped to his elbow, dragging me into another deep kiss as he barely shifted his hips. “You are perfect,” he whispered just before he pulled back for the first hard thrust.

  I cried out, in pleasure and sweet pain, reveling in how sore I was, enjoying the strength he could put behind each thrust. But he never did more, this was slow and intimate as he alternated between world-blurring kisses, and soft licks and nips across my neck and shoulders. I was dizzy from pleasure already, constantly whispering moans as I dug my fingers into his back to pull him closer, wrapping my legs around his hips to get him as deep as he could possibly go in this position. His purposeful strokes brought me to another orgasm and I was lost in a haze, a golden swirl of warmth and heat. I was barely aware when he hooked one of my legs over his arm and managed to thrust deeper, a little harder, but his lips were on mine again. Whispering in Spanish with words I sometimes caught, and sometimes didn’t. Words like pretty, perfect, sweet, and mine.

  I’d never wished more that I had studied Spanish harder, but I hadn’t been a serious student, never had, and so the harsh whispers were mostly lost. Just an odd collection of broken vocabulary that made that warm fluttering intensify in my chest as his thrusts increased in pace, growing rougher as he leaned his forehead against mine. “Nicky,” he groaned just before he came, cock kicking deep, but instead of pulling out of me he kissed me. Let his weight drop over me to press me to the bed, still linked, connected, and I poured everything I couldn’t manage to find words for into the kiss.

  All I wanted was for everything to work out, for us all to be safe. Me, Chris… and Andre. But even as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again, refusing to let go, I knew I was being stupid. If I managed to live through this, I’d be lucky, asking for anything more was ridiculous. No matter how intense the pain in my chest became as I imagined Andre dead. Dead for trying to protect me, to save me from my stupidity.

  If he died, it would be all my fault. All mine.

  Twenty-One

  Andre

  I was going to get Nicky out tonight. Just a few more hours and she’d be safe, and then I could finally focus on the meeting without the distraction of her life in my hands. I knew for sure that earlier in the day would be the last time I fucked her. I couldn’t risk the distraction, or falling asleep, the closer we came to nightfall, and I was trying my best to engage in the discussion.

  Dinner was tense, everyone a little more somber and serious with the weight of tomorrow hanging over all of us. Paulo was absent, but I wasn’t surprised. He tended to seclude himself before anything important, likely going over his plans, and back-up plans, and emergency plans. Tomorrow could be death for all of us, but as long as Nicky was safe I wouldn’t care.

  Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. My fate. And for some reason that thought brought me an odd peace instead of fear.

  “Sam and I need to finish the work before the morning, so we’re heading upstairs.” Nicolás pushed his chair back, and Samuel did the same beside him.

  “See you cabrónes in the morning, eh?” He laughed a little, and then slapped his brother on the back to get him walking. Everyone made quiet comments of good night, but nothing more. I was prodding at the enchiladas Laura had left us for dinner, knowing they were probably delicious, even though I couldn’t taste anything. It all felt automatic. Take a drink, cut a bite of food, chew and swallow. Repeat. We were all having water, no booze, and that explained some of the quiet, but it was still a little eerie. I appreciated it though, because no one was looking at Nicky sitting against the wall, and no one was forcing me to talk.

  Marco stood and scraped his plate clean before leaving it in the sink. Then he came back to do the same for Samuel and Nicolás’ plates. Normally, someone would have given him shit for it, but José just did the same with his own plate.

  “Watch your backs tomorrow, okay?” Marco said, and José grabbed his shoulder, and nodded.

  “Gracias, cuadro, we will be fine. Jefe knows what he is doing.”

  Smiling, Marco stepped away from José, moving to the door as he called back, “Night.”

  “I’m heading to bed as well, we have to be downstairs and ready to go by nine,” Luis spoke as he stood, cleaning his plate as well so that Anna Maria would be able to handle them quickly in the morning.

  “Claro,” José answered, looking at me and then Nicky before he settled his eyes on mine. “Do not let yourself get distracted by pussy, cuadro. Tomorrow is important.”

  “I know. It’s not a problem.” I managed to keep my voice steady, even as tense as I was with Diego still squatting at the end of the table.

  José nudged the man’s shoulder. “Diego?”

  “I’m not going tomorrow, remember? Watching the house with Marco.” Diego sounded bitter, and looked worse with the greenish tint some of his bruises had taken. “I can drink all I want.”

  “No, you can’t. Jefe expects you to be ready if things go south and a call comes in. It’s your responsibility to clear the house and get the others informed so we can respond.” Luis snapped his fingers and pointed at the doorway. “That means you don’t get shitfaced, you act like a soldier and do what jefe told you.”

  Diego’s knuckles went white, but José squeezed his shoulder hard. “You heard Luis, cuadro. Get up, and be sure you’re ready in the morning when we leave.”

  “Fine.” Diego shoved his chair back hard enough to knock it over, and left his plate on the table as he stormed out.

  José sighed and he and Luis looked at each other for a moment until Luis tilted his head toward the door. “Go make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and piss off jefe even more.”

  “Si. Buenos noches.” With a sigh José followed after Diego and I couldn’t believe my luck as the house was already settling down, barely after nine o’clock at night.

  “I’ll get it,” I spoke up as Luis bent down to pick up the chair, but he’d already set it upright before I’d managed to stand. “Or I’ll handle the plates.”

  “Gracias, Andre. Everyone is just tense, but jefe is sure that the meeting will go smoothly. They don’t have another man in Florida with the kind of reach and connections Paulo has. It would be foolish for them to do anything.” Luis looked over at Nicky behind me and I fought the urge to tense. It’s almost over. He walked around the table and stopped close to me, his voice low and serious. “Just remember what jefe expects of you, cuadro, and all will be fine.”

  “Claro, I know. I will be ready in the morning.”

  Lu
is nodded and left the room without another word, and I almost sagged in relief as I turned to see Nicky’s wide blue eyes on me. I could see the hope in her, and it was almost painful how much I felt it too. This was going to work. She would be free, and I would take down Paulo García, the new Columbian supplier, and this entire corrupt fucking house would collapse.

  “Bring your plate,” I ordered, keeping my voice tight just in case anyone was lingering to listen. Thankfully, Nicky just did it. No smart-ass comments, no attitude, and in a few minutes we had the plates and glasses stacked in the sink, and the table cleared.

  “Are we—”

  She started to talk, but I shook my head and pointed to the doorway. “Upstairs, now.”

  I had to control myself for once. I couldn’t fuck her when we got back to the room, I needed her packed and ready to go. I needed to be ready to get her out, and then in the morning I could just tell them all I left her in the room so we could get going. Everyone would be too distracted to question it, and then we’d be gone and everything would go down before anyone had a reason to check my room and find it empty.

  But when I lifted my eyes to see her hips swaying, her thighs shifting as she climbed the stairs in front of me, I worried I wouldn’t be able to do what I had to.

  * * *

  Nicky

  “What are we doing, Andre?” I asked, tense with excitement as he shoved my dirty clothes into the duffel bag, pulling out the darkest items to lay them over the back of his desk chair. A pair of black yoga pants, a dark gray shirt from work that had the logo of the bar on it.

  He didn’t answer me, he just dragged the long black duffel from under his side of the bed and dug through it, pulling out a messy stack of hundreds. I had no idea how much he counted out, but he shoved it into my bag as well, and I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know if I should speak, because this was it. After more than five days of chaos, Andre was finally proving I had been right. He was a good man, somewhere underneath all of the shit he’d had to do in life, he was good.

  When he stood upright again, one fist moving into his hair to grip it as he thought things through, I ran forward and hugged him. Wrapping my arms tight around his ribs, squeezing until he finally put his arms around me too. Cheek pressed to the top of my head, he crushed me to his chest, and I felt tears again.

  “Please don’t die,” I whispered, and he leaned down enough to lift me, forcing my legs to wrap around his hips so he could kiss me. But it was soft, no raw, feral hunger, even as his tongue danced with mine and his strong arms held me close. I’d never felt so safe, not since I was a kid with my parents. Maybe not even then, because this was a man who had fought for me. “Please,” I breathed the word against his mouth, seeking his eyes until his gaze locked onto mine. “Please don’t die.”

  “I’ll try not to, belleza.” He kissed me again, and then let me down to the floor. “You need to get out of that apartment, use the cash to rent a new one. It would be better if you could have a roommate, have their name on the lease. Make it hard to find you.”

  “What about you?” I asked, wanting to know how to find him again, as stupid as that was.

  “I—” Andre started to answer when a soft series of knocks came at the door, and he went rigid.

  “Who is it?” I moved towards the door, but he grabbed me and dragged me to the wall beside the bed.

  “Stay here.” His voice was harsh, and he pointed at the duffel on the bed. “Hide that, and don’t make a sound. Got it?”

  I nodded, grabbing my bag and shoving it under the bed before returning to my hiding place as I listened to Andre undo the locks on his door. The voice that came through as soon as it was open made my heart stop.

  “Cuadro, I’m not… interrupting anything, am I?” Paulo asked, that terrifying calm to his voice, and I started shaking, digging my nails into my palms.

  No.

  “Of course not, jefe. What do you need?” Andre sounded like he always did around Paulo. Empty, dark, terrifying.

  “Need? Nothing, cuadro. I do want the girl though. Just for tonight.” There was a pause, and then he continued in that smooth, accented voice. “You will have her back tomorrow, I just need to take the edge off. ¿Entiendes?”

  The world shifted under me, like it was splitting and in a moment the earth would crack open and swallow me whole — which would probably be better than Paulo García taking me out of this room.

  “I understand, jefe, give me a moment to get her for you.” Andre’s words felt like a knife being buried between my ribs. A sharp, surprising pain, and even as I heard the door fall shut and saw him come around the corner, it didn’t stop. It just got worse, the intense expression on his face making the tears flow faster as fear took over.

  “No, no, Andre, don’t do this. Please, God, don’t—”

  He moved forward fast, wrapping me in his arms again and hugging me tight even as I tried to push him back, tried to pull free of his grip. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight as terror took over me. “Stop, stop, Nicky. You have to listen to me, you have to fucking listen to me.”

  “Don’t do this, please Andre, please…” I stared up at him when he pulled back, and he grabbed my face, his warm hands on my damp cheeks, and I saw the pain in him.

  “You have to go with Paulo—”

  The words barely left his lips when I felt my knees give out, but he held me up, pinning me to the wall with his body, refusing to let go of my face, forcing me to look at him as he spoke. His jaw was clenched tight, and I wondered if I saw the beginnings of tears making his eyes shine in the dim light.

  “Listen to me, Nicky. We do not have time for this, if I refuse he will kill you, or me. This is a test, Nicky, are you listening to me? This is a fucking test. There is no refusing him, do you understand?”

  “Please,” I begged, not wanting to admit that I understood, that I was hearing every damn word he was saying even as I fought it.

  “Nicky — fuck — if I try to refuse he will take you anyway. I know him. Then he will either kill me for refusing, or kill you in front of me to teach me some kind of lesson in loyalty… or he might just take you, and then give you to everyone else and make me watch.” Andre’s voice was deadly quiet, and stone cold, even though I could see the pain on his face, but my ears were buzzing. I felt light-headed, and all I could do was try to shake my head against the grip he had on my face. “Tell me you fucking understand, Nicky. Swear to me you won’t do anything stupid, swear to me you won’t get yourself killed.”

  “Andre…” Words wouldn’t come, I was terrified. I was supposed to be free, Andre was supposed to be taking me out right now. Right fucking now.

  He kissed me roughly, and I couldn’t find it in me to kiss him back. When he gave up and leaned his forehead on mine, I heard his voice break, low and tortured. “Just survive, Nicky. I’m so sorry, I’m so fucking sorry, but… just please survive so I can come for you. Make it through this so I can get you back.”

  There was a knock at the door and Andre cursed, looking towards it. His eyes pleaded with me, and I hated that this was when he finally showed me the man I’d known was in there, the one worried for me, the one protecting me, the one trying to get me free.

  Not like it mattered now.

  “Will he kill me?” I whispered, and Andre cursed and pulled me tight to him again, wrapping his arms around me.

  “Just do what he wants, don’t fight him, belleza. Please, just survive. I will come for you. I swear it, I swear I will get you out.” The door opened and he pulled me away from him sharply, once again the serious, dangerous man I’d first met. “Throw a fit,” he hissed.

  It took me a second to process what he’d said, but then I threw myself back against the wall, slamming into the standing lamp he had in the corner. “No, no, please!” I shouted, just as Paulo appeared behind him.

  “I’m not fucking asking, puta,” he growled at me in a voice so full of cold rage I almost didn’t recognize the man stand
ing in front of me. He was terrifying, and I didn’t have to fake the fear of him. When he lunged to grab me I kicked at him, and he grabbed my arm and I found myself face down on the bed, arm bent painfully behind me as I shouted in pain. “You know what happens when you act like this. You want me to hurt you before jefe even gets to touch you?”

  “No! No, please!” I begged, voice breaking when he intensified the pain in my arm.

  This is how he could have been all along. It could have hurt this much.

  “She looks like she’ll be fun, cuadro. There is no need to subdue her, I’ll handle that myself.”

  I heard Paulo’s voice growing closer, and I fought harder, ignoring the pain in my arm, and then Andre released me completely. I flipped over trying to get some space from both of them, but Paulo caught me by my shirt, and then he was there. Leaning over me, that empty smirk on his face as coal black eyes watched me. The snck of a knife opening made me tense and whimper, and I couldn’t pull my eyes from it when he held it up.

  “I look forward to you fighting, belleza, but not until you’re in my bed. So, will you behave on the way there, or do I need to have Andre and the others help me.” The blade trailed over my cheek and I stilled completely as he stroked the tip down my neck. “Of course, if I ask them to help, they will want a reward.”

  The others. Not just Paulo, but Diego, José, all of them.

  “I’ll go,” I whispered.

  “Bueno.” Paulo stood, tucking the knife away, and then he offered me his hand like a fucking gentleman. I glanced at Andre, who was all the way on the other side of the room, back against his dresser, so tense that I was sure if I fought again he’d pull one of the guns I knew were hidden in those drawers and kill him. And then we’d both be dead, or maybe I’d be worse than dead. There was no choice. None.