Misty Blue

by Dyanne Davis

  She glanced again at the too tight, too short clothing her mother wore and felt a moment of pity. She could imagine her mother at ninety in the same outfit, still thinking she was turning heads and all she would be getting more than likely would be laughs.

  “Mia, you didn’t have to bring the checks. Mailing them would have been fine.”

  Mia laughed out loud. “Nice to see you too.” She then took a closer look around her mother’s home, wondering how on earth the woman managed to pay for all the things in her house. She didn’t work and there was no way either she or Keefe had shelled out all the money for the luxuries. Mia looked at the sixty-two inch plasma screen television. She didn’t even know plasma screens came in that size. She wondered what would happen to all her mother’s possessions when the money stopped. Mia shook the thought away. She didn’t care.

  “I didn’t bring a check, Mom. I just came to talk.”

  “Then why didn’t you use the phone? They do have those in Chicago. Right?”

  “So if I had a check, you’d be happy to see me?”

  “At least there would be a reason for you being here. Why are you here?”

  “Who knows? This seems to be more of an exercise in futility now.”

  “What?”

  Mia shook her head. “I know that you tried to seduce my husband at my wedding.” She stuck her hand out when her mother attempted to protest. “Save it, Mom. I know you groped him. I came here to tell you what a despicable woman you are and that I hate you and will never forgive you. I came to tell you how much you’ve hurt me my entire life, to let you know how much pain you caused both your children. I came to tell you that because of you I worried about being a slut and almost screwed up my marriage because of the nonsense you told me”

  Mia sighed. “But now that I’m here and see you, I pity you.”

  “Pity me?”

  “Yes, I pity you because at least for most of my life I wanted you in it. I needed you. I don’t need you any longer.”

  “You ungrateful little snot. I did everything I could for you and your brother. Where the hell do you think you would be without me? If it wasn’t for the advice I gave you, you wouldn’t be with that husband of yours right now. And your brother wouldn’t be with Ashleigh. You were both too stupid to know how to go after them.”

  Mia started laughing. “That’s why I pity you. You believe that. Listen, I am grateful to you for the one time in my life when you helped me. That was more than I expected of you, so thank you for that. But your telling me that your life is my fault, that won’t work anymore, Mom. I’m over it. I’ve let go of the guilt that I never should have had in the first place. Your life and your choices were never my fault.”

  “Well, I know what was your fault. You could have kept your ass in foster care and allowed your brother a chance to have a life free from you. Have you let go of the guilt for making your brother responsible for you, for him not having a life because of your needs coming first? He had to take care of poor crazy Mia before she wound up in the looney bin.”

  “Yes, that’s over too,” Mia answered calmly as she watched the shock come across her mother’s face. She’d played her trump card and lost. Mia was not crumbling into tears as her mother had imagined.

  “You see, Mom,” Mia began, “it wasn’t my fault that Keefe’s childhood was taken. It was yours. It wasn’t his job to take care of me. That was yours also. Neither of us asked to come into this world, so the things that happened to us fall on your head. Am I grateful that my big brother didn’t abandon me as you did? Yes. Do I feel guilty that he did it? Not any longer.”

  “And you had to come here to tell me this. You could have done this on the phone.”

  “I didn’t want to. I needed to tell you this to your face. I needed to let go of the hurt. I’ve allowed you to hurt me for too long now. It’s over. You can’t hurt me anymore.”

  “I hope you didn’t think I was going to get all teary and tell you I’m sorry. As far as your husband goes, are you sure it wasn’t him trying to seduce me? His father was trying hard enough. The one thing I’ve never had to do as far as men are concerned is try to get them, Mia. They all want me. They always have. So if you’re having problems with your husband, don’t come here dumping it at my doorstep. It’s not my fault if you can’t satisfy your husband. Don’t blame me if he sees you and thinks of me. That’s also not my fault.”

  Mia grinned. “Mom, if you had been able to satisfy even one of your husbands half as well as I please mine, you’d still be married. I can guarantee you that when he’s with me he’s not thinking of you. He sees me, Mom, and only me.”

  Mia pulled out her cell and dialed the number of the taxi she had asked to wait for her. She had somehow known it wasn’t going to be a very long visit. “By the way, I’ve decided to call you Lillian. Calling you Mom never felt right, since you never behaved as one.

  “Good. I’d rather both you and your brother call me Lillian. I don’t want anyone to know I have kids as old as the two of you.” She patted her hair. I look far too young. Did your brother send a check?”

  Mia looked around at her mother’s home, barely able to believe the woman would still ask for money. Then Mia remembered what she’d told Keefe was the truth. Their mother was unable to care for anyone other than herself. She was her main concern.

  “You look like you’re doing pretty well to me without Keefe’s help.”

  “I need money.”

  “Get a job.”

  “Can’t you give me a loan?”

  “I could. But I won’t. You’re not my responsibility. You’re young, you’re healthy, you’re an adult. Get a job!”

  “I’ll call your brother for the money.”

  “Go ahead. We both know Keefe is not going to give you a dime.”

  “He will if you ask him to.”

  Mia couldn’t help laughing even though she felt sorrier than ever for her mother. Mia knew she didn’t get it and she never would. Mia was done wasting her breath.

  “Mia, please?”

  “Lillian, no. There is no way I’m ever again going to ask Keefe to hand over money to you. The gravy train is over. You can’t blackmail either of us any longer. You won’t love us no matter what we give to you. You couldn’t if you tried, and frankly, we just don’t care anymore. Either of us.”

  Mia heard the honk of the horn. “By the way, I’m changing my number,” she said as she walked out the door. “If I were you and I really needed money, I’d think about trying to find a new job. The old one of getting paid for making me feel guilty for ruining your life is over.”

  Mia climbed back into the waiting taxi for the ride back to the airport. “The introduction isn’t going to happen,” she explained to the driver. “But the tip will make up for it. Thanks.”

  She sat back with a sigh. Mia didn’t feel what she thought she would when she’d made the journey out. There was no jubilation, no sorrow and no tears. Only the sense of accomplishment, the quiet closing of the door on her past.

  She leaned back into the cushion and felt the weight she’d carried for more than half of her life lift from her shoulders. For the first time in her life she truly did feel free. She consciously thought of all the things in the past that had brought a surge of guilt, now nothing. The guilt was where it belonged, in the past. As for her, she was heading home to be with her husband. Damien was her present and her future.

  * * *

  Mia lay in bed in her husband’s arms, telling him of the visit with her mother. “It’s over,” she said when she was done. “It really is over.”

  “Did she admit to what she had done?” Damien asked.

  “Of course not,” Mia replied. She said it was you, that I didn’t satisfy you.”

  “And?”

  “And I laughed in her face. Like you said, all that waiting, it really did help. I have no doubts about us. I know better.”

  Damien grinned. “I’m happy to her that, Mrs. Terrell, because I could use
with some satisfaction right about now.” Mia grinned and gave in to her husband’s needs and her own, amazed that she’d ever allowed anything to come between them. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his hands on her body, his fingers inside her, and her hands on him. She moaned.

  “Open your eyes, Mia.”

  Mia opened her eyes slowly and smiled at the love she saw reflected in her husband’s eyes.

  “Tell me, Mia, what do you see?”

  “I see you, Damien, my beautiful, wonderful husband. I see you.”

  She felt him sheathe himself deeply inside her body and again her eyes closed involuntarily. An internal explosion rocked her as she screamed her husband’s name. Mia clung to Damien as the feeling intensified and built again and they soared high above the clouds together. His shudders became her own as she fought to take him even deeper than he was. Tears of joy washed away everything but the two of them and rivulets tunneled down her cheek as the earthquake of her soul tapered off.

  “Mia, Damien moaned. “What did you see?”

  “Only you, my love,” she replied. “Eyes closed or eyes open, I see only you. All of the ghosts have been banished for good.”

  Epilogue

  “Mia Terrell.”

  Mia was beaming as she walked across the stage. It was official. She was receiving her Ph.D. She smiled as she stopped in front of Dr. Grey, her friend, her ex-therapist. She’d chosen her to do the honors of giving her her newest degree. When it was done, Mia looked down into the audience and smiled at her husband. Damien was beaming also, his love for her apparent in his eyes. Keefe was wiping away tears and Ashleigh was trying to steady her hands to get a picture. Mia posed for a moment, then moved from the stage.

  It had been a long road to her destination. When she walked to the group of people clustered around to greet her, Damien lifted her from the floor and kissed her before releasing her to her brother. Keefe, speechless, hugged her tightly, then released her to Ashleigh, whose hug was almost as tight as his had been. Mia couldn’t help noticing the glow on Ashleigh’s face. It was almost as bright as the diamond engagement ring Keefe had placed on Ashleigh’s finger.

  Mia turned and saw Kathy coming toward her with Mark, the man Mia had introduced her to, at her side. Mia smiled at them, and hugged them both. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Charles walk up and look longingly at Kathy. Mia wondered if he’d waited too late. But that wasn’t her problem. It was their lives and they would have to work it out.

  “Damien Terrell.”

  Mia kissed Damien. “Go ahead, baby, that’s you.” Damien ran onto the stage to collect his bachelor’s degree. Mia’s heart was bursting with pride. She was glad that they’d done this together, glad that both ceremonies had been combined. It hadn’t mattered whose name was called first. It was a thrill that they could celebrate their individual victories together. Damien had had more college credits than they’d thought and in the year she’d worked on her Ph.D. he’d worked on his own degree. He’d already been accepted at a top veterinarian college and they would manage to pay for it together.

  As for the baby, Mia had put that on hold. Right now she was plenty busy showing her husband just how much she loved him.

  About the Author

  Award winning author Dyanne Davis lives in a Chicago suburb with her husband Bill and their son Bill Jr. She retired from nursing several years ago to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a published author. She was able to accomplish this with her husband’s blessing and financial support.

  Her first novel, The Color of Trouble, was released July of 2003. The novel was received with high praise and several awards. Dyanne won an Emma for Favorite New Author of the Year and was presented with the award in NYC in April of 2004.

  Her second novel, The Wedding Gown, was released in February 2004 and has also received much praise. The book was chosen by Blackexpressions, a subsidiary of Doubleday Book club as a monthly club pick. The book was an Emma finalist in March 2005 for Steamiest Romance and for Book of the Year.

  You can reach Dyanne at her website. www.dyannedavis.com She also has an on-line blog where readers can post questions and photos. http://dyannedavis.blogspot.com.