Equivocal Death
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she had earlier that night. What a wondrous turn of events! She’d 2
seen him leave Carter Mills’s office. Now she knew that his work 3
was done. But instead of improving his spirits, the thought seemed 4
to pull him down. This was a time of rejoicing, a time that ought 5
to be shared. So why hadn’t she rushed to find him? What was she 6
waiting for?
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Sunday, January 17
2
3
They’d managed to keep Carter Mills’s death out of the Sunday pa-4
pers. But whether this was a reflection of Samson’s powers or 5
merely a testament to the dictates of daily deadlines, Kate had no 6
idea. Slouched on the sofa, she stared at the Metro page headlines.
7
Beside her Tara was knitting, something in a dark blue wool. Tara 8
had slept on the couch last night after picking up Kate at the of-9
fice. This morning she looked rumpled but serene, her red-gold 10
curls secured on her head with a heavy tortoise-shell clip. It 11
seemed to Kate that Tara hadn’t aged since college. She, on the 12
other hand, felt a thousand years older.
13
“What are you making?” Kate asked.
14
“A sweater.”
15
“I didn’t even know you could knit. When did you start?”
16
“About a year ago, I guess.”
ort 17
The words hung between them, another sign of how far their reg 18
paths had diverged.
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“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?” Tara said, gloss-1
ing over the awkward moment. “I picked up some bagels at H&H.”
2
“Thanks. But I’m not really hungry. Maybe later.”
3
The only sound in the room was the gentle clicking of Tara’s 4
knitting needles. Through the window, Kate could see snow drifted 5
up against the window frame. But despite last night’s blizzard, Tara 6
hadn’t hesitated to come out.
7
Kate felt grateful, grateful and a little guilty.
8
“Thanks again for picking me up last night.”
9
“No problem. I’m glad that you called.”
10
“Well, thanks. Really.” As she spoke, Kate heard a muffled 11
growling in her stomach. She must be hungry after all. “You know, 12
maybe I will have a bagel.”
13
“Do you want me to —”
14
“No. That’s okay.”
15
The H&H bag on the kitchen counter gave off a yeasty smell.
16
Kate peered inside and pulled out a cinnamon raisin bagel. After 17
slicing the bagel in two, she spread a thick layer of cream cheese 18
over both halves. She tried to keep her mind on what she was do-19
ing. But even as she puttered around the kitchen, memories began 20
to seep back.
21
Dark red blood.
22
The glint of the gun.
23
Carter Mills’s ravaged body.
24
Kate put the bagel on a plate and returned to her spot on the 25
couch. Tara was still knitting, her hands skillfully manipulating 26
the skein of yarn. She seemed competent and calm. Kate wished 27
she could be like that.
28
“D’you think I could learn how to knit?” Kate’s voice sounded 29
small, a child’s voice.
30
Tara looked up. “Of course. If you want to.”
31
“Would you teach me?”
32
“Sure.” Tara sounded a little surprised. Kate could imagine why: 33
in all the years they’d known each other, she’d never shown the 34 sh
slightest interest in handicrafts. Except as a consumer, that is. Kate 35 re
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thought back to when she and Tara were roommates at Barnard.
2
They’d been so close then. They used to wear each other’s clothes, 3
finish each other’s sentences. But after college, they’d grown apart.
4
Perhaps it was only natural. Instead of living together in a two-5
room apartment, they’d been several hundred miles apart, Kate up 6
at Harvard in law school, Tara still here in New York. Kate had as-7
sumed they’d grow closer again once she moved back to the city.
8
But it hadn’t worked out that way. If anything, their new proxim-9
ity only underscored the ways that each had changed.
10
Suddenly, Kate was determined to bridge the gap. Whatever had 11
happened between them, Tara was still her best friend.
12
“If I tell you about last night, will you swear not to tell anyone?”
13
“Of course.” Tara looked up from her knitting. She seemed a lit-14
tle confused. After all, she thought she knew what had happened.
15
Just another little murder at Samson & Mills.
16
“Carter wasn’t murdered. He killed himself.” There, she’d spoken 17
the words. Kate’s heart seemed to contract, as if someone had 18
squeezed it tight. She waited for Tara to respond.
19
“So say something,” Kate said. “What are you thinking?”
20
Tara put down her knitting. “Just that . . . don’t you think there 21
must be some connection? With that woman partner who was 22
killed, I mean.”
23
Kate stared at her hands. Leave it to Tara to ask the hard ques-24
tion, to put everything on the table. Tara was right, of course. It 25
was absurd to think that Carter Mills’s death was simply a coinci-26
dence. But if not a coincidence, then what? What linked the two 27
deaths together? Facts swirled in her head; she didn’t know what 28
to say.
29
Finally, she looked back at Tara. “What sort of connection, ex-30
actly?”
31
“I don’t know, Kate. I don’t know anything about these people.
32
It just seems like there must be something. I mean, when was the 33
last time a partner at Samson & Mills died of unnatural causes?
ort 34
What are the odds of two unrelated violent deaths?”
reg 35
“I guess they aren’t very high.” Kate watched as Tara pushed 9858_02_153-356_r6jm.qxd 9/28/00 3:59 PM
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back a curl. She’d always loved Tara’s unruly hair, so different from 1
her own straight tresses. Though she fit right in at Samson & Mills, 2
where all the women had straight hair. Or most of them anyway.
3
Madeleine had once had short, sleek hair, back when she was 4
much younger.
5
Haven’t you ever realized how much you look like Madeleine? The 6
question flickered through her mind. She’d managed to push aside 7
Howell’s words; his suspicions had seemed so far-fetched. But what 8
Tara was saying made sense. A suicide and a murder in one law firm 9
where the victims were former lovers. What were the chances of 10
that? Howell claimed that Madeleine had been afraid of Mills. It 11
had seemed a preposterous notion. Still, there must be some reason 12
Mills had killed himself, and she didn’t have any other theories.
13
Could Howell possibly be right? Had Mills caused Madeleine’s 14
death?
15
The questions seemed to press in on her, pounding at her brain.
16
Then, with a sudden assertion of will, Kate pushed them away 17
again. This wasn’t just any murder, but a brutal and violent slaying.
18
The vicious multiple stab wounds. The candle jammed in Mad-19
eleine’s vagina. Besides, she’d seen Mills right after Madeleine’s 20
death. She’d watched his reactions up close. There’d been nothing 21
manufactured in his response. If there had been, she would have 22
noticed. No, whatever Mills’s feelings for Madeleine, she couldn’t 23
believe that he’d killed her.
24
Still, that hardly ended the matter. If not that connection, then 25
what? Madeleine and Carter had once been lovers. The affair hadn’t 26
ended well. They’d recently started to work together after a hiatus 27
of many years. It was Mills who’d pushed Madeleine to work for 28
Thorpe. At least that’s what Carmen had said. Kate searched for 29
some meaning in these facts, some clue to what might have gone 30
on. Slowly an idea took shape. What if Mills had also suspected 31
Thorpe? Could Mills have blamed himself for Madeleine’s death?
32
“I guess Carter could have felt guilty about what happened to 33
Madeleine.” Kate was thinking out loud. “But I still can’t see him 34 sh
committing suicide because of it. He just isn’t that sort of person.”
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Tara gave an impatient shrug. “It happens all the time, Kate.
2
The least likely people are the ones to crack.”
3
“Yeah, I guess.” Kate hugged her flannel-clad knees.
4
“You really didn’t know this man.” Tara’s voice was gentle but 5
firm. “You only saw him at work, wearing his public face. You have 6
no idea what went on in his private life. You idealized him. Just 7
like you idealize everyone at that firm. They’re just people, Kate.
8
Everyone has demons. Everyone makes mistakes.”
9
Kate felt a tightness in her chest. She had the usual impulse to 10
check Tara’s words, but this time she let them pass. It was hard to 11
argue with the facts.
12
The phone rang.
13
Kate jumped to her feet. “I’ll get it,” she said, picking up the re-14
ceiver as she spoke.
15
Justin didn’t bother to say hello. “Have you heard about Carter?”
16
he asked.
17
“Yes, I . . . know.” Kate nudged her desk chair closer to the 18
phone and lowered herself to the seat.
19
“What the hell is going on?” Justin demanded. “It’s like that 20
Agatha Christie book And Then There Were None. One by one 21
everyone gets knocked off. I mean, when is it going to end? I can’t 22
believe they haven’t found this psycho yet.”
23
It took Kate a few seconds to figure out where Justin was coming 24
from, to realize he still believed that Mills had been murdered. She 25
was about to correct him, when she remembered the instructions 26
she’d been given last night. Say nothing until further notice. She was 27
tempted to tell Justin anyway — like Tara, she knew he could be 28
trusted — but something made her hesitate.
29
“How did you hear?” Kate said.
30
“They called me.”
31
“Who?”
32
“Dave Bosch. I guess the partners are calling everyone, trying to 33
prepare for tomorrow. Why? Isn’t that how you heard?”
ort 34
“No.” Kate took a deep breath. “Actually, I’m the one who reg 35
found him last night.”
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A sharp intake of breath from Justin’s end of the line. “You 1
found the body? ”
2
“It was during the cocktail party. I went up to his office. I needed 3
to talk to him about something. And . . . there he was.” The tight-4
ness in Kate’s chest grew sharper.
5
“Christ. Are you okay?”
6
Kate gave a short dry laugh. “Well, I’ve been better. So what did 7
Bosch tell you?”
8
“Just that Mills was found shot to death in his office last night.
9
And they reminded us not to talk to the press.” Kate could tell that 10
Justin’s shock over Mills’s death was fast giving way to concern 11
about her own condition. “You shouldn’t be alone now, Kate. I’m 12
coming over.”
13
“No, really, I’m all right,” Kate said. “Tara slept over last night.
14
She’s still here.” It was bad enough deceiving Justin over the phone.
15
It would be worse to do it in person. Maybe by tomorrow morning 16
the news would be public, and she’d be free to drop the subterfuge.
17
“So what did the cops say?” Justin said. “They must at least have 18
a suspect.”
19
“I don’t know,” Kate said. “They didn’t say much, and I didn’t 20
ask. I was pretty out of it, I guess. Basically, they just asked me what 21
I’d seen, and I told them what I remembered. It wasn’t much. As 22
soon as I realized what I was looking at, I started to scream. I got 23
out of there and called Security.”
24
“It must be someone with a vendetta against the firm. And it’s 25
obviously someone with access. Jesus, the killer must have been in 26
the building last night at the same time we were all there.”
27
Kate was almost swept into Justin’s fervor. Until she reminded 28
herself.
29
Suicide.
>
30
Not murder, suicide.
31
“Justin, you know I’m feeling a little tired. I’m still sort of in 32
shock, I think. Can we talk in the morning?”
33
Justin was immediately contrite. “Sure. Sorry. This is the last 34 sh
thing you need right now. Are you sure I can’t bring you anything?”
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“Thanks, but I’m just going to lie low today. I’ll call you when I 2
get in tomorrow.”
3
When Kate hung up the phone, she saw that Tara was giving her 4
a dangerous look.
5
“What?” Kate asked. But she already knew.
6
“Please don’t tell me that you’re going to work tomorrow.”
7
“Why not?” As if she didn’t know.
8
“Why not? ” Tara leaned forward, as if she wanted to take hold of 9
Kate’s shoulders and shake her. “Because the partner you worked 10
for just killed himself. Because you found the body. Because this is 11
the second person you work with who’s been killed this month.
12
How many more reasons do you need?”
13
“I’m okay,” Kate said. “I’ll feel better in the morning.”
14
And the strange thing was, she already did. Even as she spoke, 15
Kate felt herself growing lighter. Tomorrow morning, she’d get on 16
the subway and go to work, just like she always did. She pictured 17
her office at Samson & Mills: the neatly ordered books, the stacks 18
of documents, the Statue of Liberty rising from the Hudson River.
19
With everything that had happened, it was still where she wanted 20
to be. Her work was there. Her life was there. And there were 21
things that she needed to do.
22
Kate turned to Tara on the couch. “I have to go in tomorrow,”
23
she said. “I know you can’t understand. But it’s where I belong 24
right now.”
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Monday, January 18
1
2
If the press had been slow on the uptake, they were now making 3
up for lost time. The tabloids carried screaming headlines: SAM-4
SON SLAUGHTERHOUSE. MIDTOWN MAYHEM. Violent 5
death at Samson & Mills was becoming a full-time beat.
6
Emerging from the subway, Kate saw that crowds had gathered 7
around the Samson building. A security checkpoint had been es-8