Diamonds Fall

by Rebecca Gibson

  "I am only letting you see him because I don't think Mister Prince deserves what is happening to him, understood? And I don't want to annoy your family, they hold the contract to my house. I think there's much more to this case than your folks are telling us Miss Hoddington. If you were seen coming into the station, you are to say you were simply reporting a missing earring, alright?"

  "I understand," she muttered. The officer nodded.

  "My job is on the line here, just remember that. I know it doesn't mean much to someone as fortunate as you but this is my livelihood and my reputation."

  "Officer, I understand, I promise I do."

  Annabel thought how laughable it was that he considered her fortunate. If only he knew what her life was really like, the decisions she was going to have to make and the things she had already endured. Patsy was ushered out of the small cell first, as they had previously agreed, leaving Annabel alone.

  She paced up and down, rehearsing a speech in her head, wishing she had been granted more time so she could have prepared for this more. The one thing she did not have was time.

  Her nails pressed into her sweaty palms in agitation, leaving half-moon shaped indents in the skin. Her stomach twisted angrily, absentmindedly she touched the soft material there, imagining she could feel her unborn child but of course, she couldn't.

  "Miss Hoddington, I'll take you through now."

  "Thank you, will we be alone? I have something very important to discuss with him."

  "Yes Miss, of course. There's nowhere he could go, the corridor is locked."

  Her mouth twitched in an attempted grateful smile, following him down the corridor. They stopped three cells before the end and the officer motioned for her to enter.

  "I'll be in the office Miss."

  Annabel nodded her thanks and turned towards the door as the officer's footsteps retreated down the corridor. She hesitated for a brief second before drawing in a deep breath and walking into the dim space. Her eyes locked on his straight away and her whole body sighed. She clanged the door shut behind her and then Daniel's arms were on her waist, his lips pressing against hers so hard it almost hurt. The second their lips met he trembled with pleasure. Annabel smiled. Clinging to him, all thoughts were instantly wiped from her mind, all worries made insignificant. Everything was complete. When they could no longer go without air they broke apart, their foreheads resting together as their breathing slowed. Annabel's hands went into his hair, her eyes drinking in his face.

  "Hello," he laughed.

  Annabel ran her hands down to his back and rested her head against his chest, listening to the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat.

  "I thought you'd never come," he whispered, the humour fading.

  "Why didn't you reply to my letter?" she whispered back, looking up into his face again.

  He blushed slightly, looking ashamed.

  "Th-that one?" he pointed towards a small ledge beside his bed, Annabel saw the letter still unopened in its crisp white envelope. "I - I can't read."

  His confession was so quiet she almost missed it.

  "What? At all?"

  He shook his head.

  "Oh. I thought you just didn't want to reply."

  He looked at her again.

  "Why'd I not wanna read it Anna? I'm going to spend the next ten years learnin' to be the best reader in the world so I can take in every word of your letters."

  Annabel smiled, kissing him one more time, as hard as she could.

  "I love you," she whispered against him, putting all the sincerity she could behind those three little words. His eyes glittered, his mouth turning up into a beautiful smile. "More - more than you'll ever know."

  He fiddled with a stray lock of her hair, "I think I do know."

  She took a deep breath. She couldn't do this looking into his honest eyes so she looked down at his chest, her voice now shaking, willing herself not to cry.

  "We - we can't do this, I can't do this."

  Annabel felt his grip tighten on her waist. He tilted her chin up to face him. Try as she might she could not avoid those eyes, showing her just how much she had hurt him with that one utterance.

  "I can," he whispered back, determination rich in his voice. "We will find a way - we have to."

  "I'm engaged Daniel, I'm getting married. It's already been announced."

  All happiness left his face, his expression grew stony.

  "I thought - I thought you'd forgotten about him. You told me...so this was all a joke for you?"

  He dropped Annabel like she'd burned him. Annabel shook her head.

  "No! Daniel it wasn't a joke, I just - I can't explain why but I have to marry him, Daniel I have to."

  "You can't explain what? Jus' tell me Annabel! We `ave to work this out. Is it - is it `cuz you're back with your rich friends up in that manor and you're ashamed o' me? Do I remind you of bad memories? What is it?"

  "You don't - that's not it at all, I love you, I always will, but I have to marry him. I can't turn my back on my family, live alone and outcast for ten years while I wait for you!"

  "You think I wanted this? You think this was my plan when I ran away with you?"

  "We ran away because Tom was going to kill you-"

  "Yes and this turned out so much better than that didn't it? I think I'd rather just be dead than rotting in here alone."

  "No, Daniel please don't say that."

  She reached for him but he backed away, his jaw tensing in his effort to keep the tears behind his eyes. She was hurting him and it was nearly killing her.

  "What's really going on Annabel? There's something you're not telling me." He paused, they both looked at each other in silence.

  "Do you love him?" he whispered.

  Annabel could see he wasn't going to let her go, the only way to do this in a way that allowed him to move on was to lie to him.

  She nodded, Daniel let out an involuntary sob. Her arms ached to fold him into them, her mouth begging her to speak about their child, that it was because of the child she was doing this...she couldn't get rid of any part of Daniel no matter how small, yet she couldn't bear it growing up an outcast which would be the certain future of a bastard.

  Her letter to Theodore had been burnt and rewritten seven times in total. As much as she wanted Daniel she just couldn't condemn an innocent baby by making this one selfish choice. Theodore must believe the child was his.

  "You're just saying this because - because of your mama, you love me, I know you love me, YOU JUST TOLD ME YOU LOVE ME."

  He reached up, grabbing handfuls of his thick blonde hair as his face grew red. When he could no longer bear it he turned his back on her, his shoulders shaking. Annabel, now blinded with tears herself, put her hands on him, pressing her lips into the back of his neck. He spun around, holding her face between his palms as he pushed his lips against hers. He pressed her against the naked stone wall and she let out an involuntary moan. He was like her drug and she didn't want it to end. Would ten years really be all that long to wait? Before she knew it she was kissing him back with the same ferocity, her hands in his hair, his hands still on her face. However, all too soon the reasons she could not be with him came flooding back. With all the will she possessed she broke away and spoke her final four words to the love of her life.

  "Goodbye Daniel, I'm sorry."

  Before turning her back on happiness forever.

  The moment she left the cell her face crumpled. She kept her walk even and her shoulders high, knowing he would watch her go. Daniel called after her desperately but she continued forward without faltering. Once safely outside, she shattered.

  Bent double behind a row of dingy looking shops sobs so violently took hold of her that even the horses on the street grew restless. The pain was so severe she thought her heart had been torn clean from her chest, with just the tightened strings of her corset keeping her together.

  It was this day, as she lay in a crumpled heap amongst the mud and cobbles,
that Annabel's heart broke for the first time, splitting straight down the middle to leave a deep scar forever more.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Annabel tried to appear as normal as possible when she arrived home, still shaken, exactly an hour after she had left, as per instruction. She climbed out of the cab on weak legs, stumbling as her vision clouded once more with the grief of her broken heart. She walked forwards as if in a daze, keeping her chin towards the sky as if she were simply returning from a shopping trip. Again, as per instruction. Inside however, she was in melt down.

  She felt like she had betrayed everyone she had ever cared about; as if she had betrayed herself. The picture of Daniel's face as she told him that final lie, the deep searing pain etched across his features, was burnt into her vision. It invaded her mind every time she so much as blinked, threatening to knock her over completely.

  The echo of her shoes on the marble foyer was too loud; the clacking ricocheted against her skull making her wince with every step. When she reached the stairs she clung to the banister with a white knuckled grip to drag along her failing body. Cell by cell she could feel herself slowly shutting down and she knew it was only a matter of minutes before she came apart completely. It was just long enough to get into her chambers and lock the door. She would tell the maids she was to be left alone, that she would not be going down to dinner so she could have one single night to grieve.

  When she reached her bedroom she slipped inside as quickly as she could. As she closed the heavily polished door she rested her forehead against the cool surface, closing her eyes in the relief of finally being alone. Tears immediately started to spill over, racing down her cheeks and dripping off of her nose to make dark spots on the carpet beneath her.

  "What happened?"

  Annabel jumped, her heart racing a thousand miles an hour as the shrill voice of her mother struck up behind her.

  "Come on child. Speak."

  Annabel swallowed, a sob escaping her lips as she straightened as much as she could, holding her chest as she scrambled to find air amongst her sorrow.

  "I told - I told him I couldn't - that - that I couldn't see him anymore."

  A new sob racked her body as she heard the words in her own voice, the realisation they were true only adding to her pain. The sob sounded obscene in the now silent room. Looking up at her mother Annabel noticed a tight yet triumphant smile illuminating her face.

  "How can you be happy about this? You have brought about the heartbreak of your only child. How can that possibly please you?"

  "You are being ridiculous Annabel. I have saved you."

  All of Annabel's pent up hatred and anger seemed to come to a head at those words.

  She had been saved.

  Saved from what?

  From happiness?

  From fulfilment?

  In a fit of red hot rage Annabel swung her hand out towards her mother's cheek. The elder woman was ready. She grabbed her daughter's wrist just before she was struck, digging her nails into the porcelain flesh. Scarlet droplets crawled from the half-moon shaped cuts in Annabel's arms, contrasting ominously with her pale skin. Her mother simply glared.

  "I may let you believe this is your show child but it is mine. It has always been mine. You are simply a bit player, a pawn. Don't you ever fool yourself that you can beat me. I always get what I want in the end. One way or another."

  Annabel was taken aback by this display of cruelty from a woman she had always considered docile at best. She knew she was a pushy mother but she had always convinced herself Elizabeth had been working towards Annabel's best interests. She saw now how drastically wrong she had been.

  Annabel dried her eyes on her free sleeve, straightening up to her full height.

  "If this is happening, if I am to marry Theodore, it is to happen soon. We will have the engagement ball this weekend as planned and marry the next. Those are my terms and you will obey them." Annabel tried to keep her voice emotionless and cold but the lump in her throat made it wobble ever so slightly over the word `marry.' She couldn't imagine herself in a white dress and veil, the image felt wrong, perverted in some way.

  "People will talk Annabel." Lady Elizabeth said, her voice as sharp as the edge of a sword and dripping with malice.

  "Not as much as I will if you don't follow my terms. I am no pawn mother, I am your child and you've taught me more than you would dare to imagine. Don't give me cause to visit a journalist and accidentally let slip what happened whilst I was away. You see, I always get what I want in the end, one way or another."

  Lady Elizabeth let go of her daughter's wrist with deliberate slowness and brushed past her, almost knocking her over with the force of the gesture.

  "Write to Theodore. Tell him that you will become his wife next Saturday."

  Annabel nodded her head once in acknowledgement of this statement and then she broke. The door slammed shut with an echo of finality and she slid slowly down to the floor.

  Annabel imagined Daniel's face every single way she could remember. She pictured every inch of his skin, every freckle, every scar. Her fingers shook with the urge to touch him, whilst the fear of forgetting was almost crippling.

  She had figured being alone would be the best thing for her in that moment but it quickly became unbearable. She needed someone to be with her, someone who understood the position she was in and still accepted her completely. Someone who could somewhat distract her.

  Contrary to her own wants Patsy wasn't seen for several hours. She had left straight after she had seen Daniel and taken herself for a walk to clear her mind. Of course, when she too learnt to write, she would continue to be in contact with Daniel throughout his imprisonment. However, her silence nearly drove Annabel mad. It wasn't until late that night, with Annabel's room swathed in velvety darkness, that she appeared at her door and silently climbed into bed beside her.

  "I see what you mean now," Patsy whispered after a few minutes. "About abuse happening everywhere. People are just cleverer about it here. They make it seem like your own fault."

  Annabel reached out her hand, encasing Patsy's.

  "I thought you would hate me for what I did. It was driving me mad."

  "Anna I'm the one that told you to do it. I couldn't hate you anyway, I was upset that he was upset but I know why you did it. You're protecting his child, creating a better future for it than the past Daniel and I endured. It's hard but you did the right thing."

  Annabel's eyes swam with tears.

  "I'm sorry I let him down."

  "You did everything you could Anna. You've done so much for us already."

  Annabel gave a weak smile.

  "He deserves so much more."

  "I know," Patsy replied in a matter of fact tone. "And he'll get it...one day."

  The two girls lay back and absorbed that information. The thought of Daniel falling in love with someone else was painful for Annabel, so painful she could barely stand it, but she knew it would be the best thing - the only thing - that would set things right between them. She hoped, as she lay there, today was not the last time she would see Daniel. Perhaps their paths would cross again. She dreamed that maybe, one day, he would know about his child. Yet, as soon as the thought had formed, she knew it was impossible.

  It would be all out war if they were brought back together again.

  It was an ironic twist that, for Annabel, being trapped in that stable was the happiest she had ever been.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Annabel looked down at her gloved hands, clasped demurely in her lap. Just as they were supposed to be.

  Tonight was the night of Annabel's engagement ball. In exactly one week's time she would be married to the wealthiest bachelor in England. Everything she had dreamed of a couple of months earlier was on the cusp of coming true and Annabel couldn't be more miserable about it.

  Her stomach growled beneath the cinched and beaded plum gown because, despite the elaborate feast, she had managed only a few small mo
uthfuls of food. She was too nervous - not because she believed people wouldn't like her, everyone liked her - but because she realised she didn't really like herself anymore.

  She'd let everyone down.

  She'd let him down.

  Just the thought of Daniel sent an ice cold stab through her heart. She tried to ignore it, focusing instead on the hundreds of guests twirling in graceful circles beneath her as she sat at the head of the ballroom.

  Voices buzzed around her like hungry bees, feeding on the latest gossip the evening had produced. Luckily no-one had suspected Annabel's shot gun wedding at all. She had scoured the gossip columns on an almost hourly basis for any hint of brewing scandal but there was none. The papers had written about her upcoming wedding as if it were a fairy tale. Everyone put the timing down to her `ordeal' once they found out she had in fact been engaged for months. It was, to the public, the greatest love story of their generation.

  Fake laughter bubbled up and died down almost as soon as it had erupted yet no eyes met Annabel's anymore and, despite the ball being held in Annabel's honour, no voices were directed towards her.

  She found herself completely alone in a room full of people.

  They glanced at her often of course but never long enough to make eye contact.

  The feeling of being watched had never regained its glamour. Now, every pair of eyes was another witness to what could end up as the biggest con of her high society generation. Luckily, everyone deemed her too out of reach, too intimidating to actually meet. The spectators appeared to prefer her at a distance.

  Annabel preferred that too.

  She glanced away when her mother gestured for Annabel to join her. She looked back down at her gloved hands. She had not spoken to the elder woman since the argument in her room and she planned to keep it that way.

  It was when she was on the brink of leaving, debating whether she could get away unseen by her family - the music was certainly loud enough to drown out the click of her heeled slippers against the marble - when she saw him.

  He was the only man she hadn't seen tonight, the only one here she hadn't danced with.