The Quilt

by Carlton, Rochelle

  “There is also a chance the cancer will spread to her brain and liver. At this stage she would need intensive pain relief which is often best managed in a hospice environment.”

  “There is no chance of recovery?”

  “We are human so, of course, there is always a small chance. But on the evidence I have in front of me I think it highly unlikely that Sandy will even experience remission let alone a recovery. Unfortunately, the tumour was well progressed by the time she was diagnosed.”

  “But there are new drugs and procedures that are publicized regularly.”

  “Joanne, if a cure was found tomorrow I think its benefit to Sandy at her stage of the disease would be questionable. As far as trials are concerned her immune system is compromised to such an extent it is unlikely she would be considered a suitable candidate.”

  His expression softened.

  “I know a very good nurse that specialises in palliative care. I would highly recommend Raewyn to anyone requiring in home support. Would you like me to pass on your contact details?”

  Joanne nodded.

  “Sandy is not even twenty five years old. How do you cope with this?”

  Doctor Martin smiled but there was no humour in his expression.

  “I go home to a beautiful wife and healthy children every night. Each Thursday I receive a generous pay packet and, after you leave, I get to tell a mother that she is in remission and will live to spend precious time with her young son. Joanne, can I offer you some advice?”

  Joanne nodded.

  “Make sure, when the time comes, you have something else in your life, something that is important to you and something that will still be there when Sandy no longer needs you.”

  “Thank you for your honesty Doctor Martin. Everything you have said will remain in confidence.”

  There was only one woman sitting in the waiting room. She was middle aged with light brown hair and anxious, brooding, dark eyes. A small boy of about four hung on to her arm, on his lap was a book that they had been reading. The woman looked up as Joanne walked passed, she smiled nervously and placed her hand over the small fingers of her son.

  Sandy’s car was no longer in the parking area. Joanne reached for her mobile and rung Simon.

  “Sorry, I am going to be late.”

  “Weren’t you going to the specialist with Sandy this afternoon?”

  “I’m here now.”

  “Is everything alright, Joanne?”

  “No. Sandy has just been told the cancer has spread to her lungs. I have no idea where she has gone.”

  “Stay where you are. I will be there as soon as I can.”

  “Is she likely to harm herself?”

  “Only, if by harm, you mean picking up a total stranger or spending money she doesn’t have on things she doesn’t need.”

  Simon carried two cups of coffee over to the table.

  “I am not sure that this is the appropriate time to discuss an idea.”

  Joanne sipped her coffee and eyed Simon.

  “Would you consider taking a hospitality management course if the café offered it to you?”

  “Simon, that is very generous. But you know I intend to return to law as soon as...” Joanne struggled to find the words and Simon finished the sentence for her.

  “As soon as you have the time. Yes, I realize that, but my offer is not totally unselfish. I haven’t had the opportunity to take time away from the business for a number of reasons. The main one is that I have never had anyone capable, or that I would trust, to take over the responsibility in my absence. In the future, would you consider taking over the role of manager while I travel for a few weeks?”

  “Of course. But you don’t have to invest thousands of dollars in me to insure I would be there to help.”

  “It is all tax deductable. Anyway, I might have the advantage of your knowledge for months, or even years if Sandy was to go into remission.”

  Mari and Sid knocked on the door but didn’t wait for it to be opened.

  “Paul, have you spoken to your mother?”

  “No, what has she been up to now?”

  Mari walked forward and placed a brochure in front of him. She took the remote control out of his hand and turned off the rugby. He groaned and sat up looking briefly at the coloured advertisement depicting a luxurious canal boat cruising in the Bordeaux region of France.

  “So when are you leaving?”

  “We leave from Graves in four weeks, with Jean and Sean.”

  Chapter 30

  “A Time for Choice”

  Joanne spread the first modules across the dining room table. She was thumbing through the suggested timeframes and course outline when Sandy entered the room.

  “You look terrible.”

  Joanne watched her walk across the room and pick Critter up before she responded.

  “If I look terrible it is because I have spent a week worrying about you, about where you were and what you were doing. Sandy, you have been missing for days.”

  “I’m sorry. I needed time.”

  Guilt passed briefly over Sandy’s face.

  “It really isn’t fair that I get the lump and you live with the cancer. What are the papers on the table?”

  “Simon has asked me to do a hospitality management course.”

  Sandy frowned and glanced at one of the modules.

  “Looking for a change in profession? Joanne, you do realize he is gay don’t you?”

  “Of course, I do. Is there anything you would like to talk through? You must have thought about what Doctor Martin said”

  Sandy considered the question for a moment.

  “If you were in my position would you continue with the treatment, Joanne?”

  There was a slight hesitation.

  “I would follow the advice of my specialist.”

  “I think that answers my question.”

  There was an ice like calmness in Sandy’s expression. She gently placed Critter on the ground and a brief moment of pain was reflected in her expression.

  “Is your shoulder still uncomfortable?”

  Sandy made no effort to reply.

  “You didn’t have any of your medication with you. Doctor Martin has recommended a nurse that will be able to offer support in the home.”

  Joanne spoke, cautiously watching Sandy’s stony expression for a glimmer of emotion.

  “That’s fine, as long as no one is recommending I am put in a hospital.”

  Sid’s gruff voice echoed through the barrel room. He had wandered around the property trying to locate Paul and was feeling irritated by the change in climate and the long return flight back to New Zealand.

  “There you are. I saw the truck was here but I couldn’t find you. Jean asked if we could bring this album to you when we got back. She insisted on sending post cards from every place we visited and asked if you could put them in here for her.”

  He put the bulging photo album on the bench and rubbed the rough stubble on his chin.

  “Jean and Sean should just about be home by now. Perhaps you should give them a call later tonight?”

  Paul smiled.

  “Tell Mari I will come up tomorrow after you have had a chance to unpack and she can tell me all about the trip.”

  Reluctantly, Paul got out of the pool. It had been tempting to leave the telephone to ring but the insistent caller had hung up and then redialled.

  “Yes?” his voice bristled with annoyance.

  “Paul? Your mother took a fall in the shower yesterday.”

  “She is alright?” Sean added quickly before continuing.

  “She fell heavily and has a compound fracture in her right forearm. We have just got back from the hospital. It is quite nasty; she broke both the radius and ulna.”

  “I tried to ring you last night to check you had got home safely. I was wondering why there was no reply.”

  “I saw your messages on the answerphone when we came in. They kept her overnight after the sur
gery. They had to put in titanium plates and screws to hold the old girl together.”

  Sean tried to sound reassuring but his voice was heavy with concern.

  “Would you like me to come down? I can easily get Sid to stand in here and someone to cover me on Coastguard.”

  “No, there really isn’t anything that you can do at this stage. Let’s just see how things go over the next few days.”

  Mari turned the tea towel around in her hands until it formed a thick coil.

  “Bones do not always heal well when you are older. Please give Sean a ring and see how Jean is doing.”

  She put down the towel and handed the telephone to Paul.

  “For the sake of peace, please call them.”

  Sid chuckled before retreating behind the paper.

  “Hi, how is she doing?”

  “Your mother was bored after we moved from Twin Pines, now with a broken arm there is even less she can do. She can’t even work on that damned quilt. Her arm will never have a chance to heal if she doesn’t stop fussing.”

  “Do you want me to come down and help?”

  Mari extended her hand and prised the telephone from Paul.

  “Sean, we have plenty of room here or I am sure the cottage at the vineyard would be available. Book a flight and we will pick you both up from the airport.”

  Simon stretched his long, slender arms. Joanne looked up from the roster and shifted uncomfortably under his intense stare.

  “You still look tired. How is that nurse working out? Is she taking some of the responsibility away from you?”

  “Raewyn? She is working out well. She spends time with Sandy even when she is not required to. I am not sure how I would have managed without her.”

  Joanne looked down at her pen.

  “I also don’t know how I would have managed without this course to keep me from dwelling on the situation.”

  “So, the situation isn’t good with Sandy?”

  Simon leaned forward and put his hand over hers.

  “No, not really. The latest chest x-rays and CAT scan have confirmed the lung and bone metastases have progressed. Raewyn manages her pain relief.”

  Joanne’s voice trailed off and she seemed to consider her choice of words before continuing.

  “She is so thin and tired. But it’s more than that. She doesn’t talk anymore about the treatment or the long term prognosis.”

  Joanne narrowed her eyes.

  “Maybe she has reached the stage of acceptance,” Simon offered.

  “How can anyone of her age reach a stage where they can accept their own mortality?”

  “When they have no other option available. I realize that Raewyn specialises in the care of terminally ill patients but as Sandy’s condition deteriorates...”

  Joanne looked up sharply enough to interrupt Simon mid-sentence.

  “No. That is the one choice Sandy has made clear. I will respect her wish to remain at home.”

  Joanne shrugged as if releasing tension.

  “There are still good days. Someone wise told me not so long ago I should take one day at a time.”

  Chloe watched intently as Paul settled into the chair and applied pressure to his temples.

  “Your mother has moved into the cottage? Perhaps you would like something for that headache?” Geoff grinned.

  Paul self-consciously removed his hands from his head. He looked up to find Chloe’s expression unfathomable, her eyes clouding with concern. Abruptly, she stood up and excused herself leaving the room in an awkward silence.

  “Apologies. Chloe has been tense for a few days.”

  There was a sarcastic snicker from across the room.

  “Shut up,” Geoff retorted angrily he then turned to talk directly to Paul who sat quietly observing the interaction.

  “We see things as tangible; Chloe sometimes sees things in between. It is normal for her to become unsettled when she can’t understand or get direction in something she is picking up. I really don’t question this part of my wife’s life.”

  “There is nothing normal about this when it happens.”

  Geoff turned an icy stare towards the source of the comment.

  “I agree. But I also notice that you do not come to her for a reading. Incidentally, your wife has made an appointment with Chloe next week.”

  There was an appreciative murmur that ran around the room. Geoff continued.

  “Perhaps we should delay meeting for a few days?”

  “Should we drive our cars with more care?”

  “Care on the roads has nothing to do with her being unnerved. All Chloe feels is that someone is making a choice and what they decide will affect the future of someone she is close to.”

  Chapter 31

  “A Time to Decide”

  A light breeze disturbed the strings of crystals that hung from every window frame. They chimed and cast rainbows of fragmented light across the villa’s walls and floors.

  Joanne chewed reflectively on the end of her pen. A cup of coffee, left to go cold, and an open book lay in front of her. From behind the closed door she could hear the sound of another drawer closing, soft footsteps followed by the familiar dry cough. She studied the beams of morning sun that streamed through the white lace curtains casting murky shadows over her unread book.

  Three days had passed since the phone call and Joanne was acutely aware she only had a further two days in which to make her decision. To date, she had not even had a discussion with the people that would be most affected. A year ago it would have been easy, but that was before the cancer had made talk about her own future seem selfish.

  Logan Neil had spoken cautiously, apologising for contacting Joanne, and asking if it was convenient for her to talk. He explained he had obtained her number from his friend, Patrick O’Donnell, who he understood had previously employed Joanne. There was a moment of awkwardness before he continued.

  “Patrick speaks very highly of you. He recommended you for this position and advised me to call to see if you were able to consider joining us. He also told me you resigned suddenly due to unexpected personal circumstances.”

  Logan had hesitated, giving Joanne the opportunity to elaborate. After a brief silence he had explained that he represented a small, but well established, partnership and they were currently in the process of expanding. They had secured commercial premises within a two hour drive of the central business district and were looking for a suitable ambitious, young solicitor to represent their practice. Initially, the contract would be part time, he specified two days per week, within the next year he envisaged it would develop into a full time position.

  Was that the reason she felt so reluctant to discuss this opportunity? By the time her commitment to Logan Neil made it necessary for her to leave the villa, it would no longer affect Sandy. She swallowed hard, biting back the sob that clawed at her throat. Certainly, it was feasible to immediately accept a two day appointment. Providing Joanne travelled early and returned after work the following evening it would only necessitate leaving Sandy in Raewyn’s care for one night each week.

  Logan had assured her they would negotiate leave to enable Joanne to fulfil her existing commitments to Simon. In the short term the café would not be negatively affected by her taking two days off during the working week and dedicating her weekends to the business. In fact, Simon would probably see it as an advantage because she would be available to work Saturday and Sundays, which was his busiest time.

  The sound of another drawer closing interrupted her thoughts. Joanne glanced at her watch. Perhaps there would be an opportunity to talk to Sandy today. Despite rehearsing the words, and despite planning a sensitive introduction to the topic of the job offer, Joanne felt apprehension tighten her stomach. Sandy’s reactions were no longer predictable or, at times, even rational and if she became upset there would be no option but to decline the position, no matter how attractive the opportunity was to her personally.

  The door opened and
a small mass of tangled fur darted out. Sandy followed behind wearing blue jeans and a bright yellow tee shirt. A green woollen beanie covered her head clashing with a hastily applied slash of scarlet lipstick and bright blue eye shadow. Her eyes looked overly large and, although her face was hollowed and gaunt, the medication made her general appearance look puffy and bloated.

  Critter settled at her feet.

  “You are not coming today,” Sandy said firmly avoiding eye contact with Joanne by leaning down and affectionately patting the small dog on the head. She turned away and firmly closed the door to her room before walking unsteadily into the kitchen.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going out on the boat.”

  For a moment Joanne thought she had misunderstood.

  “But I am working today.”

  “I don’t remember asking you to come with me,” Sandy’s tone was icy.

  “The hell you are going out alone. That would be ridiculous.”

  “Life is short and mine is getting shorter by the bloody minute. The sun is shining and if you think I am going to waste a day like this you are wrong.”

  Sandy spoke in a lowered voice, her eyes locked on to Joanne defiantly. She paused to allow the words to gain full significance before continuing in a slightly less antagonistic manner.

  “I am going. Please don’t be offended, but I would really like to take some time out by myself.”

  Joanne studied the determined set on the face in front of her.

  “I am not even going to try to reason with you. I will check the weather forecast and organize someone to take over for me at work today.”

  Sandy stamped her foot like a petulant child and walked towards the front door.

  “If you are adamant that I am not going out alone, at least be considerate enough not to keep me waiting.”

  Joanne fought to suppress a smile.