The Scion of Abacus, Part 2

by Brondt Kamffer

  Deryn Lhopri smiled at me, her stern expression softening somewhat. “I am not the monster you take me to be, Toven, but I am a disciplinarian, and I can see that I have been rather lax with you, given your—shall we say—position in life. I think you have been punished enough for now, but do not believe for a moment that this is over with. Hero will be joining us on a regular basis, as you are going to need a sparing partner eventually.”

  I swallowed hard but said nothing.

  The professor nodded, her expression further softening. “Good. You accept the inevitable. That is important. I have taught you much, some of which seems contradictory, but that is the paradox of life. Contradictions do not exist in reality, but they do exist in our minds. The sooner you learn to sort out imagination from actuality, the better off you will be. But that is something you will have to learn to do on your own.”

  She picked up the book that had been sitting on the desk, rose from her seat, and replaced it on the shelf behind her. Such was the austerity of the office and its furnishing, that this move effectively left the desktop free of clutter, just a large open surface. Deryn Lhopri returned to her seat and then retrieved a small package from one of the desk drawers.

  The professor spilled the contents of the small bag onto the desktop, and I recognized at once where this was going simply by virtue of what she had set before me. There were four items on the desk: a pebble, a glass vial filled with what appeared to be water, a leaf, and a candle.

  Deryn Lhopri silently arranged the items, setting them in a straight line in the order I have listed them above. She looked up at me when done.

  “You told me just now, Toven, that you cannot sense the elements of your own body. That may come with time; it may not. We must work with what we know for now. Let us begin with the basest of the elements: earth.” She reached out her hand and lifted the smooth, gray pebble from the desk, hefting it in her hand momentarily before handing it to me. I took it dumbly, mimicking her hefting motion. “As you can see,” she continued, “it is an ordinary stone that weighs next to nothing. Now, replace it on the table.”

  When I had done so, Deryn Lhopri said, “I want you to focus your ether on that stone. Ignore everything else around you. I know you can sense every element in this room, but you are going to have to learn to concentrate your ether in a single direction. The more effectively you do so, the more effectively you will be able to manipulate the world around you. But do not be too discouraged as we begin today, for this skill is one that is likely to take some time to master. Now, begin. Nod to me when you manage to lock out the rest of the world.”

  I breathed deeply, somewhat relieved by the simplicity of the task. At least, that is what I thought at first, but the moment I began to concentrate on the pebble before me, I realized just how difficult it is to maintain so sharp a focus on a singular object.

  I attempted first to shut out the stone of the University building itself, but that only made me more aware of the other elements in the room, of the water, air, and fire of the professor’s own body, not to mention the earth element that came with the human form, the desk, and every other physical object in the room.

  It did not take me too long to realize that such a tactic was simply a waste of time. So, I decided to try a different approach. I opened my senses completely, feeling the weight of the building rush in on me once more.

  Then, closing my eyes, I chose to isolate the element of fire.

  This was easily done, as the only three objects in the room distinctly bearing that element were Deryn Lhopri, the air golem, and myself—but I could not sense the fire of my own mind, effectively making that two objects. Having isolated the fire element, I found it relatively easy to thrust it from my conscious thoughts, and my eyes shot open suddenly as I did so.

  Professor Lhopri was grinning widely, as though she’d seen what I’d just done. I cocked my head momentarily as I glanced at her, realizing that she seemed suddenly no more than a statue to me, a carving of stone, water, and air, but with no mind to speak of.

  Stunned by this small success, I felt myself grin, and in that moment I lost concentration, and the fire element surged back into my consciousness. Deryn Lhopri’s smile faltered.

  “Focus, Toven. Do not allow small victories to distract from the greater battle. This is another lesson you must learn.”

  I nodded and quickly refocused myself. Having done it once, I found that removing the fire element from my awareness was now relatively easy. As soon as that was accomplished, I made the decision to tackle the water element next, being the element I sensed had the smallest remaining presence.

  Again, it was not so hard a task to thrust aside all consciousness of the water in Deryn Lhopri’s own body as well as that in the small vial on the table. The wooden furniture, as well as the leather and vellum that comprised the books in the room, contained only a negligible trace of the water element, all materials of their construction having been thoroughly dried a long time ago.

  The world around me was beginning to feel rather odd now, being solely a composition of earth and air, the two most common elements in the world. Knowing that I had to whittle my focus down to earth, and from there to the pebble on the desk, I set my mind to the task of removing air from my thoughts.

  Being the element that it is, and so pervasive as it is, I knew from the off that this would be the most difficult part of the task. I flicked my ether around the room, seeking someplace to start, and I settled almost at once on the air golem still standing behind me, though seemingly mindless now that I had thrust aside all awareness of its flickering, flame-driven mind.

  Having some recognizable target for this part of the experiment made the task marginally easier, for I was able to eliminate the air creature from my senses, and the air in the rest of the room seemed to be sucked through the hole in my mind with it until I was left with the sudden and panicked sensation that I could not breathe.

  I fought to maintain my focus exclusively on the earth element around me, but I could feel my chest constricting even as I did so. I began to cough and sputter, but each intake of breath only served to confirm that there was no air around me anymore. Finally, in a fit of panic, I let my concentration go, allowing the world to hurtle back in on me.

  I jerked in agony as my ether came alive again accompanied by the full sensation of being battered by a thousand fists, and feeling that pain in both my mind and body. I collapsed in my seat, my forehead striking the desk an awkward blow that would likely leave me with a garish purple and blue bruise the following morning.

  I felt myself sucking in breaths like a fish out of water, only I was no longer suffocating but attempting to fill my lungs with as much air as possible as quickly as I could.

  All the while, Deryn Lhopri said nothing at all but simply sat in silence, looking on as I made a fool of myself.

  For I did make a fool of myself, and I realize now—though I did not at the time—that nothing the professor might have said to warn me could have saved me from what happened. This is also something that no ordinary person can really understand, nor even a Hymanni like the professor, though she understood in theory what had taken place. You have to be a mage to fully comprehend, for such a thing could only happen to a mage, but I shall endeavor to explain it as best I can for your enlightenment.

  Simply put, in disconnecting my mind, my ether, my spirit from the element of air, air had ceased to exist for me in that instant. My brain, being unused to the sensation, suddenly jumped to the conclusion that there was no air, and so, just as a man who is trapped in an air-tight box will begin to hyperventilate, my own body reacted in panic, believing there was nothing left to breathe. If anything, this simple explanation illustrates the complexity of the human mind, something even the great mages of old seemed unable to fully comprehend. That my brain, against all the evidence of the real world, chose to believe my ether over the physical senses of my body is a marvel when you think about it, one that remains beyond my abiliti
es to understand even now when my mind is used to the experience and no longer reacts in such panic.

  I finally lifted my head to look at Deryn Lhopri, who sat staring at me without concern but only with a measure of consternation and wonder. I realized at once that she had never seen such a thing before. She knew of another mage, true, but he was older, and likely long past such early difficulties. No doubt, she had been prepared for what I had experienced, but she could not possibly have known exactly what would happen. Only, she knew I was in fact all right. Her total lack of concern said as much, but she was nevertheless astonished to see such a thing happen. I then began to understand how truly ignorant the Hymanni are of the world around them, despite their claims to superiority over all mankind. I may have only been a young man at the time, and very much unaware of the reality of the Dominion and of many things else, but I did realize that I was a world apart from everyone I knew.

  Deryn Lhopri let out a sudden sigh, as though she had been holding her breath. “Hymage preserve us, but that was simply the most amazing thing I have ever seen, and I have seen a mage flex his power in ways you could not imagine, Toven. Do you understand what just happened?”

  I shook my head on impulse, but slowly my mind began to unravel the thread of events, and I said, “My ether was telling my brain that there was no air, and my brain responded by telling my body to suck in as much air as it could. At least, that is what it felt like to me. Is that normal?”

  The professor’s smile returned. “It is, though I am told that the sensation will eventually wear off. It is a shock on the body, I would imagine, but now that you know the air, in fact, continues to exist around you, your mind won’t panic so much.”

  “You knew this would happen, didn’t you?” I asked, my voice bitter with accusation.

  She nodded slowly. “I did, but do you think it would have made any difference had I warned you? Would you have been able to separate perception from reality? I mentioned contradictions not five minutes ago, and here you have experienced the very thing I was talking about. I warn you of contradictions in the world, but to warn you of specifics would defeat the purpose. Do you understand?”

  I thought about it for a few moments, and then I nodded slowly. “I think so. Information too narrowly focused would leave me blind to similar situations lying outside of the explanation.”

  “Very good, Toven. You are learning. Now, if you are ready to try again, let us continue with the lesson.”

  I tried three more times, each time getting to the same point before my body panicked against the sensation that there was no air to be breathed. Each time, however, I felt less fear of suffocation than before, and I managed to force my mind to accept with greater ease the apparent contradiction of not sensing air when it was indeed all around me, so that I did not nearly choke myself to death as before but only coughed and sputtered. This reaction, nevertheless, still resulted in me dropping my focus and concentration, but I did not feel so physically tired as I had after the first attempt. I was at least making measurable progress.

  Finally, Deryn Lhopri swept the four items from her desk back into their bag, dismissing me. “We will continue to work on this tomorrow. It seems to me that you are getting closer. Perhaps with some rest, and with your mind refreshed, you can make the breakthrough we are looking for and isolate the pebble. At which point, we can really begin to work magic.”

  Her eyes flashed as she said that, and I marveled that she could still be so enthused despite my continued failures. But I was tired and miserable, and my head was beginning to throb viciously from the blow I’d taken earlier, and so I confess I was far less enthusiastic about magic than I had ever been.

  I ignored Hero’s attempts to draw me into conversation that evening, instead excusing myself and heading to bed early.

  * * *

  I awoke groggily the following morning, my head throbbing with the pain I felt all over my body. I rose from bed and padded over to my dressing table, where I saw that I was sporting a great bruise that had turned half my face a mottled purple, red, and blue. I grimaced at the sight of myself, but realized there was little I could do about the mark. There would be questions—questions I’d avoided by sneaking off to bed early the night before when the bruising had been but an angry red mark only promising the fantastic display it would become.

  I fumbled open my box of hyma juice vials—the habit of drinking the drug proving to be a comfort this morning, something familiar in what was for me an ever-changing world. I swallowed down a daily dose, too afraid to quit drinking the juice, and too tired lately to care. I was beginning to realize that I had to pick my battles, and this was one I could not currently win. In the future, Deryn Lhopri might let something slip that would help me beat the drug—or perhaps she would wean me off it herself—but until then, I had to bide my time. So far as I could tell, it was doing me little harm. At least it was not blocking my ether as I had at first thought. Until I figured out what exactly the purpose was to drugging me, I would proceed as normal.

  I dressed myself and then went in search of breakfast. I earned several odd stares as I passed through the University halls that morning—or rather, my bruising did—but I ignored them all. Hero had the good grace to not interrogate me about it when I finally sat down next to her, where she was halfway through a bowl of oats. She looked up at me, her eyes flicking to my forehead and then to my eyes again, and asked, “Has she taught you anything useful yet? When do you think you will need me?”

  I flinched, grimacing at the thoughts of what Hero would be made to do to “aid” my training. My mind trailed over the session of the previous day, and I decided that I was in fact learning something. So, I nodded. “Yes, she actually is teaching me to control my ether. It’s complicated. I’ve heard Professor Lornis telling the Hymanni how to isolate the different elements of their bodies, and Deryn Lhopri is trying to teach me to do something similar.”

  “I suppose that makes sense,” Hero said. “That was one of the first things Professor Lornis taught us. But you can’t sense the elements of your body, can you?”

  I shook my head. “No, but I am learning to shut out the elements of the world. It’s weird. It’s how I got this.” I pointed to the bruise on my forehead.

  Hero cringed visibly. “I was going to ask about that.”

  I grinned. “Were you? Well, I will tell you about it later. I’m not in the mood now. Suffice it to say, I am learning, but it is rather frightening and painful and, well, it’s just all so different from what I expected.”

  Hero nodded as though she understood, but she knew better than to talk to me in the mood I was in. Instead, she reached over and gripped my hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. I smiled my thanks, and she let me finish my breakfast in silence. When I was done, she glanced shyly around and then kissed my cheek quickly as though embarrassed for anyone to notice.

  “I’ll see you later?” she asked.

  “I think so,” I replied. “I will probably be gone all day, as I feel so close to really learning something, but I’ll see you at dinner, certainly.”

  Hero smiled and then joined a group of her classmates on the way to Kynaston Lornis’ first lecture of the day.

  I sat and watched the rest of the Hymanni and Synths filing from the hall in search of their classrooms. As the mess hall emptied, I noticed a knot of four older students in the far corner. I was not sure of it, but it seemed that they were watching me, as every now and then, one of them would pretend to glance around, his eyes always roving over my table before moving on. I did not recognize any of them, but their white cassocks marked them as Hymanni.

  At first, I thought they were merely fascinated with the spectacular bruise I was sporting, but their attention lasted far too long for that and they showed few signs of amusement. I began to wonder whether there wasn’t some other purpose for their scrutiny. If there was one thing I knew from past experience it was that the Hymanni were often a cruel group of people who did not like thos
e they deemed different or inferior.

  Feeling uncomfortable, I rose from my seat and scampered from the hall. I headed for Professor Lhopri’s office, though I knew I’d be a bit early for my session with her that day. I thought at one point that I heard footsteps following me in what was usually a pretty deserted corridor and which was made all the more noteworthy because the day’s classes had surely begun by then. I turned around to look for the source of the sound, but I saw only a flash of white as a cassocked person disappeared around a nearby corner.

  I decided that Deryn Lhopri was making me paranoid and that I needed to work on controlling my thoughts.

  When I reached her office, I sent my ether ahead of me into the room and sensed that it was empty.

  “Looking for me?”

  I jumped with surprise at the professor’s voice. She was standing behind me, having snuck upon me while I was concentrating on her office space. I chuckled, thinking it had been her white cassock I’d spotted ducking from view earlier, but then that didn’t make much sense. Deryn Lhopri was not given to playing such games, even when testing me.

  I moved aside and allowed her to enter first.

  “I can see that the University is soon to have a new terror on its hands,” Deryn Lhopri said. By the sound of her voice, I judged her to be only half serious. “It has been so long since someone of your talents passed through these halls that nobody knows how to protect themselves against your prying senses,” she added, clarifying her comment by mildly chiding me for attempting to spy on her office.

  I took my usual seat across from her but remained silent, unsure of how to respond.

  “I see you have a nice souvenir from your first day of serious magic practice.” She grinned, and again I sensed that her words were more playful than anything. She certainly did not seem to be mocking my bruise.

  “I hope my second day does not leave me with another trophy, professor,” I replied without smiling.