by Ali Parker
"Thank you." The mom waved at me and toted the little boy back across the park, kicking the red ball as she continued to lecture him.
"No problem." I gave myself a few more minutes to take in the beauty around me before getting up. My bruised pride would have to be comforted later that night with a hot bath and a good bottle of wine.
If only that really worked...
*
I walked back into the office and Joan stood up, my secretary looking a little worried.
"There you are. Are you okay?" She moved around her desk and clasped her hands together as if she were trying to keep herself from reaching out to me.
"Yeah. I just needed some air. Are we all set to go on the five thirty call with the Bryants?"
"Yes, ma'am." The older woman nodded and pursed her lips. "I was scared you'd walked out for good. You looked so upset when you left."
"I wasn't sure if I was coming back, but then I realized I was being childish. I love my job." I shrugged and walked toward my office, letting the conversation die. There was no way I was letting anyone into my personal life at the office. It never worked out to be a good thing.
After closing the door, I sat down at the small circular table in the middle of my office and pressed the button to turn the video conferencing on. A screen moved down from the center of the ceiling and stopped a few feet in front of me. I leaned back and waited for the call I was sure to get.
Seeing Matt was going to suck royally, but I'd simply focus on Damon or Kent and keep my feelings to myself. Besides, they probably all three knew how I felt. I had been less than subtle with Damon on our call an hour before.
The loud buzz of the phone caused me to jump though I'd been expecting it. Somehow I'd slipped back into my thoughts, letting them go where they always did - right to Matt.
"Erica?" Damon leaned back in his chair and let out a sigh. "I thought maybe... well, never mind. This a good time?"
I lifted my arm and glanced down at my watch. "It's five thirty on the dot. It's perfect."
"Hi, Erica." Matt lifted his hand, his expression tight and filled with tension. It was more than obvious that someone had berated him moments before.
"Hi, Matthew. How are you?" I forced a professional smile and tried to still my beating heart. Seeing him on the screen was almost as bad as seeing him in person. My wine and hot tub night was quickly turning into a full bottle of whiskey. He looked so damn good, his dark blond hair disheveled, his blue eyes filled with sorrow, as if he cared about me.
If he did, he would have called without being forced.
"He's good. I guess." Kent shook his head and turned his dark gaze back toward me. "I know you're busy, so we won't take any more of your time."
"It's good. I wrapped up things this morning, so I have some free time. Let's discuss the arrangement we're working toward and see where we can fit Matt in, hm?" I pulled a folder toward me and opened it, the words on the page jumbling up before me. "I think you guys were talking about twenty hours a week, right?"
I glanced up as Damon nodded. Matt was reclined backward, his arms across his chest, his frown well-defined.
"That's right. Were you thinking of putting him in the think-tank group you have?" Damon glanced over at Matt and looked back toward me, rolling his eyes so that only I could see.
"Um, yeah." I looked back down at the papers and shuffled them around. "He'll be working with Lewis in graphics. Should be a lot of fun. Unless you're still unsure?"
"Are we creating a new position?" Kent butted in.
"No. Celia is leaving on maternity leave next week, so Matt could have her position for three months and decide if this is the place for him." I shrugged and swallowed the hot ball of regret in my throat. I should have never slept with him. What was I thinking? I'd never been the type of woman to sleep around. My heart was too involved in love-making.
"I'm right here," Matt barked and leaned toward the camera, his expression softening a little. "You can talk to me, Erica."
"Okay." I leaned back in my chair as my sorrow turned into anger. I stared at him for what felt like forever. It was obvious that the other two men in the room were getting uncomfortable, but they'd decided to tuck Matt between them and call me. They were stuck, and both deserved the discomfort. "I have a three-month position in graphics that's twenty hours a week. It's an artsy group that I think you'll like a lot, but I need to know if you plan on filling it, or if not, I'll find someone else."
He nodded as his eyes moved subtly, as if he were studying me. "You're so beautiful. Did you know that?"
Everything disappeared but him. I nodded. "I've heard it before, but it's irrelevant. I'm looking for an employee. Nothing more."
"Matt. Not now, dude." Damon's voice brought me from my reverie. "Erica, he'll be up there on Wednesday. We're talking three months as a testing period, right, and when are you wanting him to start?"
"Yes on the three months, and Monday would be good." I glanced over at Kent. "I need to meet with you soon to discuss the final ads on the advisory project. I met Mitch this morning. We're going to dinner tonight, but I know you like to have a final review done by you. I assume I'm still walking you through those images?"
"Yes. Plan on coming down for the weekend maybe in a couple of weeks. Would that work?" He glanced over toward Damon.
I nodded. "Perfect. See you on Wednesday, Matt, or Monday when you come in." I nodded at the other two and clicked the button to end the call. Tears blurred my eyes, and I stood up, moving toward the windows in my office. I needed to feel the sunlight on my face.
Why in the hell had I mentioned Mitch? What an asinine thing to do.
A knock at the door saved me from my self-deprecating thoughts. "Come in."
Mandy opened the door and paused at the entrance. "I was looking for you about twenty minutes ago. Everything okay?"
I turned and stood up, letting out a soft snort. "I guess news travels fast. I just got upset over something that didn't go my way. Typical response from me, I guess."
"Oh, good. Nothing to do with the team or something that we turned in that wasn't up to your specifications?"
"What? No. Not at all." I wrapped my arms around me as a thought bubbled up. "I'm going to dinner with Mitch Roberson tonight. I'd really love for you and Lewis to join the two of us. You're my most senior ad agents, and you'll be working with Mitch alongside me. Can you check your calendar to see if that will work?"
"Oh." Her eyebrows raised. "Really? Yes. I would love to go."
"Great. See if Lewis is up for it too. Mitch will be by in a couple of hours to pick us up. Just stick around and I'll grab you when he gets here. That all right?"
"Absolutely." Her smile was radiant. "I'll go tell Lewis now."
"Great. Close the door behind you, please." I turned and walked back toward my desk.
There. I felt better already. Going to dinner with Mitch almost seemed too intimate. I was most likely overthinking it, but either way, I was uncomfortable. The new Director of Advisory was fifteen years my senior with streaks of grey in his dark hair and a body that left anyone with a pulse drooling. He was dangerous in more ways than one, and yet why was I protecting myself again?
As if Matt were going to grow up and become the man I saw peeking out of the edges of his persona last weekend? No way. Not in a million years. I loved him with every ounce of my soul, but for the first time in a long time... love didn't feel like nearly enough.
I spent the rest of the afternoon, working on a graphics project that wasn't mine to do. One of my new artists would have usually been given the opportunity to sketch the first draft of a new logo we were working on, but I needed somewhere to focus.
"Erica?"
I glanced up to find Lewis standing at the door. His smile was wide, and his dreadlocks a hot mess. He was perfect, and the best employee I had outside of Mandy.
"Come on in." I sat back as he walked toward the desk and pointed to my drawing.
"Wow. That's righteo
us. Can I see?" He extended his hand toward me.
"Yeah, sure." I handed it to him. "It's just a mockup of-"
"The new logo. I love it. It's brilliant." He studied it for a minute and handed it back. "And that's why you're the boss."
I chuckled. "Why is that?"
"Because, it's perfect. I can't even offer a suggestion."
"You're just kissing ass, but don't stop on my account. I love it."
He snorted. "Not at all. I'm an art-snob. We never kiss ass. It's against our culture."
My turn to smile. "Are you going to dinner with me and Mitch tonight?"
"Absolutely. He's downstairs. That's what I came to tell you."
"Oh good." I stood up and grabbed my bag. "Let's go make the best of this."
"Are you expecting something less than pleasant?"
"No, but it's good to err on the side of caution, right?"
"Sure, if you're done living." He moved back and let me go through the doorway first. "You're not done with big risks for massive rewards are you?"
"I'm not sure anymore." I shrugged and walked toward Mandy, lost in my thoughts. Risk seemed like a fun word when I was younger, but after longing for a life I'd almost given up on years ago... it seemed more prudent to be cautious - safe.
Matthew Bryant was anything but safe.
Chapter 3
Matt
"Matt," Damon called after me as I walked down the hall, away from the conference room. I ignored him. "Matt. Come on, dude. Stop."
I jerked around as I reached the elevator and poked him in the chest. "Fuck you for that. What did you and Dad think would happen? Hm?"
"Look. I know you're-"
"You don't know anything. You have your life planned out in front of you, the woman you love beside you and everyone else to worship the ground you walk on. You don't know shit." I got in the elevator and watched him with the fury that burned deep inside of me. Of all people for my brother and my father to make me look like a weak child in front of, it had to be Erica Hall.
The one woman I'd consider hitting my knees for. As if she would have anything to do with me after leaving without a word, and now this...
"Fuck all of it. Why do I even bother?" I moved toward the door as it opened and barreled past a group of monkeys in suits. The scream beating against my teeth was held in by a smidgen of respect for my father. He'd built his legacy up for him and Damon to enjoy and now they were muscling me into it too. It was done in love, but damn if I wasn't hot by the way they went about it.
I jogged to my truck and got inside before I let out a string of curse words and pounded the steering wheel. The woman walking beside the truck jumped back and I smiled and lifted my hands in apology.
"I hate this shit. All of it." I started my truck and drove straight for the NBC offices on the other side of the city. Bethany would probably be bias to helping me see the good in Damon and my father, but Sophie wouldn't. She would let me bitch and act a fool until I calmed down. Then she'd help me curse everyone around me until I felt better. That's why she had been my best friend since childhood.
I parked in the garage beside the large high rise where every secret in the world was known. It was almost comical to think that someone like Sophie, who was insanely private about her personal life, would work to expose other people. True oxymoron.
The stern looks on the people's faces that I passed gave me yet another reason to run for the hills instead of working at M&B. I wanted to enjoy my life, to be free to experience all sorts of incredible things. Everyone pimped out in a standard black, grey or navy suit downtown had the same look on their faces. Like someone had just administered an enema with no lube. It was the last thing I wanted to experience. Living a life with all duty and no pleasure. No way.
I stopped at the front desk and smiled at the older woman who glanced up.
"Can I help you?"
"Yes. I'm here to see Sophie Marque with NBC." I glanced toward the security gate, hoping that by some miracle she might come bounding through and save me the hassle.
"Fine. Wait over there please, sir, and I'll give her the message that someone is here to see her. Can I get your name and your business?"
"Sure. I'm Matthew Bryant. I'm her baby-daddy." I leaned toward the woman and whispered the last bit.
She smirked. "All right. I'll be sure to tell her that her baby-daddy is here."
"Thank you, kindly." I turned and walked to the row of chairs, feeling a little bit better, but not much.
My father and brother made a fool of me in front of Erica, and what was worse? She complied. Talking about me like I wasn't sitting in front of the fucking camera. I ran my hand down my face. I truly deserved anything she wanted to throw my way. I'd messed up big time. Fixing it was at the top of my list, but now... I wasn't so sure. She too saw me as a jacked up, immature little boy.
Hell, maybe I was.
"You sure do look deep in thought. Don't strain yourself. You could pop a vein." Sophie stopped in front of me and glanced down, her eyes filled with humor.
"I've already popped a few today, what's one more?" I got up and nodded toward the coffee shop across the street. "I need to vomit emotion. You got a few minutes?"
"For you? Absolutely." She slipped her arm into mine. "Any reason why you told Tammi over there that you're my baby-daddy?"
"I didn't tell her that." I glanced over at Tammi and winked. "I said Band-Aid caddie, like your walking first aid kit."
She rolled her eyes and moved around me as I held the door for her. "You're never going to grow up, are you?"
"Do you think I should?" I walked beside her to the stop light and reached for her hand as we crossed the street, not wanting to lose her in the crowd.
"No. I like you just how you are." She tugged her hand from mine. "You know I hate it when you try and manhandle me."
"Manhandle?" I snorted. "I held your hand to make sure you didn't get away from me. I think you better ask for another adventure other than Saudi Arabia. I'm pretty sure your definition of manhandle is a joke compared to how those men treat their women."
"Not the prince. I've been studying him." She gave me a knowing look and opened the door to the coffee shop.
"And? Spill." I walked in and breathed in deeply, loving the deep aroma in the air. It smelled like lazy mornings and comfort. It reminded me of Erica somehow.
"He's nontraditional. He's hoping to find an American woman to birth his children." She shrugged and moved up in line.
"Wait. Are you saying that you're good with him putting that out for everyone to hear? He wants an American woman to birth his children? What about to love? To cherish? To build a life with?"
"That's what he meant, silly." She moved up and ordered.
I ordered something big and sugary before turning my attention back on her. "He meant sex. That's what having children starts out with. Did you miss this day in eighth grade?"
She popped me in the chest. "No. You were in the next room, remember? You asked me a million questions about... never mind."
I chuckled. I'd drilled her with questions while the other guys in school were drilling anything that walked and breathed. We were different, but it was simply what made us... us.
"Today has been a total bust." I sat down at a small table and glanced up at her. She was beyond beautiful, and would most likely score a prince in the Middle East, or anyone else she wanted. It was weird not to have feelings for her outside of our friendship, but I didn't. She was like a sister to me.
"Yeah. Tell me what happened. It's rare for you to come all the way to the office to see me." She walked up to the counter to grab our drinks and handed me mine as she sat down across from me. "Something happen with Erica? Is that her name?"
"Yeah." I took a long sip of my frozen coffee drink and winced. "Brain freeze."
"That takes a brain." She winked and leaned back in her chair. "Tell me what happened."
"They wanted to have a conference call with Erica, the four of us
. I haven't spoken with her since leaving Seattle a week ago, and as anyone in their right mind would be, she's upset with me."
"Wait. Back up. You went up there and what? Tell me the full deal. I haven't seen you since before you left, remember."
"Right." I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around. Rehashing everything was going to suck royally.
"You're not getting out of this. I know your flight-look. You're not running from me. Just spill." She took another drink of her coffee and watched me closely.
"We had fun. She took care of the contract with Jonathan, we went to a concert, to the harbor, made love a few times and-"
"Wait. Made love?" Her lips turned up into a smile that reached her eyes.
"You're really pretty when you smile like that. You should do it more often." I took another drink of my drink too.
"Thank you, but get back to the fucking. Was it awesome?"
"Yes. Fucking usually is." I pulled my straw out of the cup and used it to scoop up whipped cream. "I left on Monday morning without saying goodbye."
"Why?" Her voice hardened. "Like you snuck out while she was still in the bed?"
"No. I passed out on the couch the last night we were together and woke up the next morning to a stiff note from her. It was very business-like." I shrugged. "I left and headed home with the intent to call her, but I didn't."
"Let me ask again. Why? That's an extreme insult to a woman, Matt."
"I'm realizing that now." I glanced up and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I was scared, fuck, I still am. It's not like one weekend in her arms is going to change that."
"You gotta get over this jacked up commitment phobia thing you have going on." She reached out and touched my hand. "Look at me."
I glanced up. "What?"
"You know how much I love you, right?"
"Yeah. I know you wanna lick the skin from my bones and force me to have your babies."