by Ali Parker
"Well, there is that, of course." Her smile faded. "She sounds like a great catch, and the kind of woman that would force you to become the man we all know is inside of you. Stop running and turn around."
I glanced down toward our clasped hands. "Can you and I just get married? I'm comfortable with you."
"No." She tugged her hand from mine. "You're not a prince, and I'm not the girl that makes your heart ache, or your body yearn for carnality."
"We could work on all of that." I was teasing. There was no one in my past or possibly in my future that was going to emotionally bend me over the way Erica had for the last two years. She was supposed to be mine.
"Just call her, Matt."
"My father and Damon had me in a conference call with her today, and she blew me off pretty hard."
"Of course she did. You dismissed her after she opened her body to you." Sophie huffed and gave me a stern look. "Any woman would kick you to the curb after that."
"So what the fuck do I do?" I glanced up at the ceiling, trying hard to sound like a spoiled frat boy. It was a fitting persona for me. I liked it.
"Go to Seattle and win her back. Be the man you are and tell the scared little boy to take a hike."
I dropped my chin and tilted my head to the side a little. "When are you leaving for the Middle East again? January?"
"Yes, but stop diverting. Do what you need to do to get her back. Promise me."
"Maybe." I turned my attention to the people in the coffee shop, letting my eyes run across their expressions and wondered what their lives might be like. Was anyone fighting against themselves to grow up like I was? Were they in love or searching high and low for someone that could provide the high I got around Erica?
"Come on. I gotta get back. We can jog in the morning if you want. I'll walk you to your truck."
"Okay." I got up and took another long draw from my straw before walking out into the chilly late afternoon with Sophie. "I want to show you something I'm working on."
"For the private showing at De Luge?" She glanced over at me and reached out to grab my hand as we ran across the street.
I tugged my hand free and winked at her. "People will talk, baby girl."
"Oh brother." She moved in front of me, and we walked in a comfortable silence until I reached my truck.
"This is my centerpiece for the showing, if I can pull it together and get it done." I opened the truck, pulled out my sketch pad and flipped it to the picture of Erica.
"Wow," Sophie mumbled with reverence. She glanced up at me. "Matt. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
"Yeah?" I reached out and ran my fingers just outside of the figure's face. "It's how I see her."
"Erica?" She pursed her lips.
I nodded. "Yeah. It's how Damon sees Bethany, or my father sees Karen. It's just love. Hurts like a fucker when it's not working, but it feels so good when it does." I pulled the pad from her and closed it. "I just want to get my stuff together before I try to fix what I've destroyed. I want to be everything she needs me to be. Then I can present myself as a viable option for her, Sophie."
"What if someone gets there before you?"
"Then I deserve to lose her." I shrugged and pulled at her arm. "Go back to work and stop making me rethink everything. I hate that about you."
"Not true." She put her hands on her hips. "It's the reason you came to see me today. You wanted me to set you straight."
"Did I?" I got in the truck, closed the door and rolled down the window. "You know Damon is planning his wedding."
She leaned toward me and pressed her hands to the windowsill. "I doubt Damon is doing much of anything."
"True. Bethany is planning the wedding. I'll get you the date soon."
"Great." She reached out and squeezed my arm. "You need to fix this. Love doesn't come around all the time, Matt."
"True, and sometimes you have to run halfway across the world to find it."
She smiled. "That's what I'm hoping to do. You just need to hop on a plane and take a three-hour flight. So cheesy easy."
"Maybe, but the hard part starts when I get there, you know?"
She nodded. "Is she worth it?"
I didn't hesitate for a second. "Absolutely. I'm just not sure if I am."
Chapter 4
Erica
"Hi." I got into the passenger's side of Mitch's black Lexus and reached for my seatbelt as Lewis and Mandy got in the back.
"Hey. Day go okay?" He glanced back and extended his hand. "I'm Mitch Roberson."
"He's our new Director of Advisory." I glanced back at my staff as they shook Mitch's hand. "It was all right. Long to be honest."
"Well, thanks for joining me for dinner. I hope it doesn't impose on you too much." He pulled the car away from the curb and smiled over at me.
Handsome wouldn't begin to describe him. How the hell was he not wearing a wedding ring? Seemed like a travesty. Not that it mattered. I was lost to the asshole who left without a word. If I wasn't, I'd have offered to host the dinner at my house and left my staff out of it.
"Not at all. Kent seems too proud of himself for getting you to join the firm." I pulled down the mirror above my head and checked my face.
"He's an old friend of my brother, Jack's. They went to school together." He turned and pulled up to the restaurant as the valet ran for the doors.
"I love working for Kent. He's a great guy."
We got out and walked to the front door, Mitch holding it for all of us.
Mandy smiled and glanced my way. "Is he married?"
I smirked, enjoying the fact that she was willing to speak to me like I was half-human. Most of the time, my staff shuffled around the office and stayed out of my way.
"No clue." I walked toward the hostess stand and pointed to our name on her roster. "There're four of us now instead of two though."
"No problem." The girl glanced toward Mitch, her cheeks turning pink. Interesting.
"Let's go." I turned to get everyone's attention before following the girl to the table. We took our places, and I pulled my napkin down into my lap and picked up the wine menu. "Anyone need an adult beverage tonight?"
"Me." Lewis lifted his hand. "I was trying to work with one of our IT guys all afternoon and got nowhere. He didn't understand Photoshop, and I had no clue what the words coming out of his mouth meant. It was like speaking a foreign language."
"I need a beer." Mandy took the drink menu as I offered it to her. "My little sister just told us today that she's pregnant. My mom is beside herself and they want to have a family meeting over it. I keep trying to tell them that I'm not part of the family anymore." She blushed. "Too much?"
I smiled. "No, it's all good." I glanced over at Mitch, surprised to find him watching me. "And you, Mr. Director?"
He smirked. "I love a good glass of wine regardless of the day I've had. Pick your favorite and we'll just get a bottle."
"I don't know." I leaned back and let my hands drop into my lap. "I have more than a glass and one of you might have to tote me out of here."
I laughed when everyone offered to. Somehow I'd missed out on having a relationship with anyone at work, which was a shame. Both Lewis and Mandy were incredibly supportive of me, and good people all around. I needed to fix things between us, and open up more often. There was still a line in the sand because it was work, but I could be more welcoming toward my staff.
"You guys want an appetizer?" Mitch glanced up from his menu. "Anything you want. Dinner is on me."
"Oh no. Let me get it." I let my eyes run across his face and couldn't help but think he should be on a GQ magazine somewhere. At M&B we had the most non-typical accountants in the world. Sexy, strong and masculine as all get out. "I brought Lewis and Mandy as a treat to them. I'll pick up the bill."
"No. You won't." He winked at me, but by the tone of his voice, I knew the conversation was over.
"All right then." I smiled and glanced back down at my menu, enjoying Mitch's dee
p chuckle.
"Damn. I have to go." Mandy looked up from her phone. "My mom is coming unglued. I'll have to get a rain check." She stood and seemed to realize that Mitch brought her.
"I'll take you back." He started to get up.
"No way. I can walk. It's only half a mile." She pulled her purse from the chair.
"What? In downtown at night. Not happening." Lewis gave me a smile. "I'll take her and you can just grab us for lunch later this week."
"What? No. We'll all just go." I pushed back to stand as Mitch hovered above his seat, waiting for a decision to be made, no doubt.
"No. I'm serious. Enjoy your dinner. We'll have a good talk about the project we're working on. Lewis is big and strong." She smiled over at him, and I got the notion that somehow one of them had planned for the time they'd be spending together on the way back to the office.
"Okay, well, you have my cell. Just call if you need me." I sat back down and pulled my chair up to the table and they said their goodbyes and walked off.
Mitch turned to watch them go and chuckled before looking back at me. "How long have they been sleeping together?"
I almost choked on my spit. "What?"
He picked up his menu. "It wasn't obvious to you?"
"No." I tilted my head and glanced toward the front of the restaurant. "You really think they're sleeping together?"
"No, I don't think. I know." His dark eyes left me feeling raw, bared before him. It was strange how quickly he'd gotten comfortable with his position at the firm, or maybe it had little to do with that. Maybe he was just the type of man that was so incredibly confident and comfortable that he was relaxed no matter where he went because he was unwilling to be anyone but himself.
I wanted that for Matt. He would become that man, but when? With who beside him?
"I lost you." He smiled and reached out, tapping my arm.
"Oh, sorry. I had a really long day today." I smiled up at the server as he stopped by the table. We ordered wine and Mitch ordered two appetizers, which we agreed would be our dinner.
"You mentioned your long day, but you haven't said what happened." He clasped his hands in his lap and pressed a hard stare against me.
"It's somewhat personal, I guess." I glanced down at the table and tried to think through how to get out of the awkwardness he was leading us into.
"Well, I won't pry, but I figure with both of us leading the Seattle office, we'll become close friends sometime in the near future." His voice was deep, soothing.
"I'd like that." I glanced up and realized that maybe his definition of friends was different than my own. I was intensely grateful when the wine showed up.
"How long have you been working for Kent?" He took a drink of his wine and tugged at the front of his button down shirt.
"Two years, but I've known Damon for the last five." I ran my finger around the top of my glass. "I love it there, but there are days when I wish I was busy painting some new masterpiece."
"Really?" He chuckled. "I wondered about you artist types from time to time. How much of your soul did you sell to be calm and collected in a large high-rise building?"
"Good question." I moved back as the appetizers arrived. I shouldn't be at dinner with someone like Mitch. It was dangerous, and I wasn't willing to give up on Matt just yet, even though it seemed like he'd given up on me.
"One you feel like answering?" He took a bite of one of the garlic shrimp and groaned. "Wow. That's insanely good."
"I feel like part of me is missing, sure, but I get to make the money that I feel I'm worth, lead a team of creatives like myself and still design and develop art all day long. It's far better than being a starving artist." I reached for a shrimp and agreed with his assessment. My stomach rumbled as if to corroborate my thoughts.
"That's a great way to look at it." He licked his fingers, and I glanced away. The moment was too intimate. "I've been working as a consultant since I was Damon's age."
"How old are you now?" I picked up my glass and smiled as he gave me a cocky grin.
"How old do you think I am?"
"That's not fair." I leaned back in my seat and studied him.
"No? Guess close to it and I'll tell you."
"Thirty-eight." I took a drink and went for another shrimp.
"You flatter me, Erica." I enjoyed the way he said my name.
"Am I correct?"
"You're off by ten years." He picked up his fork and picked up a piece of sushi.
"So you're twenty-eight?" I smiled and picked up my chopsticks. "You know it's a travesty to eat sushi with a fork. You look like a Texan right now."
"I am one." He popped the sushi in his mouth and chewed slowly, taking a drink of his wine and turning the question back on me. "And you? Are you still in your twenties?"
"Yes, but I'm racing toward thirty quickly." I felt comfortable, good. It had to be the wine.
"Husband? Kids?"
"Hopefully in the future. You?" I needed something to do with my hands. We were at a business dinner and yet we'd done anything but talk about business. I should have kept Lewis or Mandy with me. Our conversation couldn't be headed anywhere healthy.
You don't belong to Matt. He doesn't want you. You're not good enough... remember? My mother's voice echoed in my head, though she'd never said anything about Matt. It was a need to condemn myself fully. Her voice always worked well for those moments.
"I have one daughter. I love her beyond words." He licked his lips and picked up the bottle of wine, pouring us both another glass. "My wife, Lindy, died three years ago from a brain tumor. It's been a long journey back from the gates of hell."
"Oh, God. I'm so sorry." I reached out and cupped my hand over his. I couldn't imagine loving someone for years and then losing them. "How long were you married?"
He gave me a boyish smile, his eyes lighting up. "Twenty-seven years. We got married right out of high school. She was my childhood love."
I pulled my hand back as thoughts of Tanner swam through my mind. So many years together and he just up and left. Why? I'd failed to analyze any of it then. It was too hard. I was too close to the fire.
"That's incredible. I hope I find someone that loves me the way you seemed to have loved your wife." I picked up one of the appetizer plates and divvied up the rest of the meal between us.
"I'm shocked to see that you don't already have someone loving you like that." He smiled and nodded toward his plate. "Thank you."
"Of course." I picked up my fork and busied myself eating.
"So, no boyfriend either?"
"Nope." I finished my glass of wine and tilted it toward him. "I need one more."
He smiled and poured me a glass. "Well, I know I shouldn't, but I can't help but tell you that I'm floored by you not being with someone. You're stunning. Successful. Intelligent. Talented."
Warmth spread up my chest and coated my cheeks and throat. "Thank you," I whispered, feeling almost overwhelmed. No more wine for me.
"No... Thank you." He smiled. "This is nice. It's been a while since I sat down to dinner with a beautiful woman."
"I'm glad I could break the dry spell." I laughed at myself, letting the wine settle my spirit.
"We should keep this up." He watched me closely, but I tucked my head down and worked on my meal, feeling like Matt acted... young, immature and overwhelmed by the presence of the older man beside me.
I needed to go home - alone. Yeah... no more wine for me.
Chapter 5
Matt
Every mess up from the last two weeks rolled through my mind as if on a carousal as I sat on the plane on Wednesday morning. I'd jacked things up with Erica royally, and damn if I didn't try and call her several times after talking to Sophie on Monday only to hang up when her voicemail picked up. There was no way I was apologizing in a message on her phone. It would have been easy, but she and I both knew that was the chicken-shit way of doing things.
Damon and I worked out our differences the day before, a
nd I was glad to be back on even playing ground with him. It wasn't his fault that I was perpetually dicking up my life, but it sure felt good to push it off onto him.
I groaned and pressed my palms to my eyes. Erica has to forgive me. She has to understand.
"No... she doesn't." I ran my fingers down my face as the flight attendant at the front of the private jet gave me an odd look. "I talk to myself all the time." I smiled. "Mostly because I'm the only one that doesn't argue with me."
"Makes sense. I think." She smiled and buckled up. "We're making our descent. We should be on the ground in twenty minutes."
"Awesome." I closed my eyes and let the image of Erica giving me head in the car douse me in desire. It wasn't just about the act of her being so damn naughty that got me. It was the softness of her touch, the look of love in her eyes. This was far more than I was used to being involved in. It was unknown land, uncharted territory, and yet every part of her I'd seen - I adored.
Then why run?
I forced the question out of my mind. It was getting old. I had my reasons, and though no one on God's green earth understood them, they still stood. I'd try to explain myself to her once I got to Seattle, barring that she'd actually see me.
There was a good chance that I was outta luck. I hoped not, but anyone with sense in their head would have kicked me to the curb years ago. There’s only so much denial and rejection someone could take.
If Erica treated me the way I'd treated her, I'd never give her the time of day. Not to explain herself or apologize. No way.
"Mr. Bryant?" The flight attendant touched my shoulder, and I jumped, not realizing that I'd dipped so far into my subconscious.
"Sorry. I guess I fell asleep." I unbuckled, got up and grabbed my bag. "Did you guys call a car service for me before we left?"
The attendant nodded. "Of course. Your car should be waiting by the tarmac. A red Audi, just like you like."
"Perfect." I waited for the door of the plane to open and jogged down the stairs toward the car. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out to find Jonathan Lutz calling. It was as if he had a spy cam somewhere in the vicinity. "You got eyes everywhere?" I laughed and stopped by the car.