Never Say Goodbye

by Lori Ryan

  “That’s because you are.” Emmett pulled her close, as his mouth covered hers, oblivious to the catcalls and whistles around them.

  “Talk about hyenas in heat.” Max laughed.

  “Fuck off,” Emmett growled.

  “Mic!” Ben hissed.

  Without breaking their kiss, Emmett pressed the microphone into Ben’s chest, releasing it as he slid his free arm around Elle to lift her and walk off the stage.

  “Her dad is staring, man,” Max said from behind him, “and he doesn’t look happy.”

  With great reluctance, Emmett pulled away, staring down at Elle’s half-lidded eyes as he set her down by the side of the stage. The music was cuing up for the next sucker coming up on stage. “How long does this event go on?” Emmett asked.

  “I think two hours,” she answered. “Why?”

  He groaned. Even if he didn’t have to go back on that stage and sing again, this was going to be the longest two hours of his life.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Elle stepped off the stage, holding on to Emmett’s hand for support. His kiss had left her legs weaker than any dance practice she’d ever endured.

  “Nice kiss,” Maggie teased, fanning her face, as Elle fell into an empty chair. She didn’t dare look at her father. She knew he wasn’t opposed to her and Emmett being together, but still, who wanted their father to watch them make out?

  Elle coughed and ducked her head.

  “Yeah, totally,” a voice Elle didn’t recognize said.

  She lifted her head to find a woman sitting next to Maggie. She had long, jet black hair that tumbled down her shoulders in heavy waves. Her eyes were the color of melted caramel and her lashes so long Elle couldn’t help but wonder if they were real. Elle tilted her head, trying to place the woman.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman said as she stretched her hand across the table. “I’m Devlin Darby. You probably don’t remember me.”

  “Hi,” Elle said, extending her arm, taking Devlin’s hand in hers. “I’m Elle Noble. You do look familiar, but I’m afraid I can’t place you.”

  “Yes,” Devlin smiled. “I know.”

  Good God, Elle had already thought the woman was beautiful before, but as she watched deep dimples bore into her cheeks, Elle considered batting for the other team.

  “Devlin grew up in Canyon Creek until fifth grade,” Maggie said. “She was a year or two above you I think.”

  Elle couldn’t think, her mind working to place Devlin. She had the strange feeling she’d met her as an adult, not a child. “Wait,” she said, her mind finally making the connection. “Did you go to Tisch?”

  “Yes,” Devlin smiled broader. “I only spent one year there, though. I missed traveling, so I dropped out and hit the road again.”

  Elle studied her. “You won an award while you were there, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” Devlin seemed surprised. “How did you know that?”

  “It was of me. You had to have me sign a release.”

  “Oh, my goodness, I can’t believe it. It was you. How did I not recognize you?”

  “Probably the hair,” Elle said, touching her head self-consciously. Elle turned as she felt a warm hand slide over her shoulders. Her eyes met Emmet’s, his face full of love. He leaned down and kissed her temple.

  “I love your hair,” he said, making Elle flush at the comment.

  “Oh, I love it, too,” Devlin said. “You don’t know how much I’d love to cut mine off. Every time I have to clean the drain I say I’m going to shave it all off.”

  Elle took a breath, knowing this was the perfect opening. She’d been thinking that she needed to tell Emmett’s family. In fact, she needed to simply open up and tell the world she’d survived cancer. She’d been hiding it for so long, but Emmett was starting to make her see that she didn’t need to do that. “Actually, the choice wasn’t mine. Chemo.” She looked around the table, her eyes landing on Emmett’s mother’s face and the shock she saw there. “I had breast cancer five years ago.”

  The table went quiet, even though the rest of the room continued to talk and laugh, the sound of singing that could only be described as “unfortunate,” carrying on in the background. Elle felt Emmett’s hand squeeze her shoulder and she continued. “I had a mastectomy and went through chemo and radiation. The treatments worked, but they wiped out my endurance, making dance more of a hobby for me instead of a career.”

  She watched as her father’s face went from pained to worried to relief. She’d never realized until that moment that forcing him to keep her secret had cost him the support he needed as well.

  Elle braced herself for the hushed words of condolence, for the fearful looks she knew would come. Emmett’s mom slid her hand across the table, picking up hers, a look of such sorrow and grief Elle almost pulled back. In that moment she realized, people needed to mourn for her, with her, and that was okay. Valerie gently squeezed her hand, the action speaking louder than words.

  Before anyone could ask questions or comment, Devlin jumped in.

  “Oh, that’s so perfect!” Devlin smiled with excitement, leaning forward. Then her face fell as she looked at Elle with pained sorrow. “Wait, that came out wrong. Breast cancer isn’t perfect.”

  Silence rang from around table, and for a moment Elle didn’t know what to say. A bubble of laughter burst from her lips before she could stop herself and soon she found herself doubled over. “I couldn’t have said it better, Devlin. Cancer isn’t perfect.” Her laughter was infectious and cut the tension that had filled the table. Soon everyone joined in.

  Devlin grinned. “Sorry. Anyway, you’re okay now, right?”

  Elle nodded and she felt Emmett’s hand squeeze her shoulder.

  “I’m about to start a new project,” Devlin said. “In the last few years, I’ve done a few coffee table books. Each time, I’ve used online donations to fund them and I give half the proceeds from the sales to a charity. I’ve done different themes for every book, but each had a survivor’s element. One was natural disasters, another terrorist attacks. I photograph survivors in posed and candid shots and then tell some of their story and talk about where they are in their life and their journey today.”

  “A survivor’s journey,” Elle murmured, nodding as the words settled in. The words were perfect. She’d been on a journey of survival. And now, glancing around the table she realized she had more people with her.

  Devlin went on. “My mother battled breast cancer and survived, so I’ve known for a while that I wanted to do a book with photographs of breast cancer survivors.”

  Elle fought the urge to move her arm to cover her chest.

  “Oh, Devlin, that sounds amazing,” Maggie said.

  Emmett’s hand slipped down Elle’s shoulder and into hers.

  Elle glanced up, not surprised by the adoration and what looked a lot like love in his eyes. She was relieved Devlin hadn’t asked her about posing for the book, although she had a feeling the question might come eventually. She wasn’t at all sure she was ready for that. But up until a few moments ago, she never thought she’d have the guts to tell the people around her that she’d had cancer. If it weren’t for Emmett, she may never have.

  He was helping her become comfortable in her own skin, quite literally. She didn’t need to hide her cancer, she needed to accept it and celebrate the fact that she’d survived. Maybe Devlin’s book was just what she needed.

  She half listened as Devlin, Maggie, and Emmett began to talk about publishing and Devlin’s plans to fund the coffee table book. Elle took the time to simply sit and let her feelings settle.

  “Aren’t you all supposed to be singing?” Someone spoke above her.

  Elle glanced up and saw Kayleigh Montgomery, the town’s veterinarian, grinning down at them all.

  “Oh, we did,” Elle said, glad to be past talk of her diagnosis and treatment. She would tell others in her own time, in her own way. “Well, rather, the boys did.” Elle laughed. “You missed Emmet
t, Ben, and Max serenading us all.”

  Maggie pulled up an empty chair next to hers. “Oh, you didn’t miss it. I recorded that baby for posterity. Sit. Take a look.” She held out her phone.

  The men groaned in unison.

  “Seriously, Maggie?” Ben moved to swipe the phone but Kayleigh snatched it from her hands and fell into the chair. Ben gave Maggie a sour look that said she’d be in trouble later. Maggie just laughed.

  “Oh, my God, that’s horrible.” Kayleigh laughed. She pushed several buttons on Maggie’s phone and Elle was pretty sure the video would go viral at any moment.

  “It was worse when it was live,” her father said under his breath.

  “What are you doing here?” Emmett asked Kayleigh.

  “Elle brought Cheeta in for her shots yesterday and told me about the new Karaoke nights. I think it’s cool.” She bounced in her chair with excitement.

  “I still can’t believe you named your dog, Cheeta,” Emmett whispered in her ear.

  Elle glared but there wasn’t any strength behind the gesture. She knew he was only teasing her, and she liked it.

  “Are you going to sing, Kayleigh?” Ben asked.

  “Oh, hell yeah. Elle promised me a duet.” She punched Elle’s shoulder.

  Elle’s head dropped to her hand. She’d completely forgotten about that promise. In an effort to draw in a crowd, Elle had offered several duets with her friends.

  “Awesome!” Devlin said. “What are you guys going to sing?”

  Kayleigh laughed.

  Elle shook her head.

  “Now I’m curious,” her father said.

  Elle glanced up, happy to see the fear and worry in his expression from earlier now gone, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

  “Girls just wanna’ have fun.” Kayleigh sang out the lyrics that made up the title of Cyndi Lauper’s famous song.

  “Oh, my gosh, that sounds like fun,” Devlin said.

  Elle leaned into Emmett and nudged him, drawing his attention to Max, who sat rubbing one of his knees. Rubbing wasn’t the right word. He was kneading it. Hard.

  Emmett leaned in closer, answering the question she hadn’t voiced. “His knees always hurt but he refuses to take anything.”

  Elle couldn’t help but empathize. Pain was horrible, she knew that. Maybe she should talk to him about some of the things that had helped her after her surgery. He could at least try some alternative things.

  “So, Devlin,” Valerie said, “are you planning to stay in town long? Max could show you around town a little while you’re here. I’m sure things have changed a bit in twenty years.” Valerie nudged Max’s shoulder.

  Max stopped massaging his knee and nodded with a mega-watt smile. “Happy to show you around, Devlin. I could show you the sights, maybe take you to dinner tomorrow night.”

  Elle didn’t hear Devlin’s answer, she was lost in Emmett’s voice as he leaned in close to her to speak again. There was something to be said for loud music.

  “Ma’s been upping her matchmaking game lately, and I think Max is her next victim,” Emmett whispered.

  Elle smiled and looked over her shoulder at Emmett, their lips almost touching. “Poor Max. He doesn’t strike me as the settling down type.”

  Emmett shook his head. “No, but Ma wants grandkids.”

  Elle froze, forcing the smile on her face to stay there.

  “You okay?” Emmett ran a hand down her arm and Elle had to make a conscious effort to relax.

  His words were a brutal reminder that she wasn’t the right person for Emmett. She hadn’t had the nerve to tell him, but she likely couldn’t have children. The chemo and radiation she’d undergone had more than likely killed any chance she had of conceiving.

  Emmett tilted his head.

  Elle nodded her head. “I’m fine,” she said, swallowing down her disappointment. She couldn’t, wouldn’t discuss this now.

  “Good, God, would someone put that dude out of his misery,” Ben said, earning a swat to the arm from a smiling Maggie.

  Elle glanced up at the stage, laughing, even though the sound felt hollow. It was Jackson, the head of the maintenance department, crooning out “Friends in Low Places.” Elle studied the room, filling up with guests, and a few locals. “This was a great idea,” she told Maggie.

  “Thanks. I hope it takes off and we both keep benefiting from it.”

  Valerie smiled at Maggie. “She’s got so many great ideas. We’ve been talking to Sally about opening up something more than just the bakery in our lodge,” Valerie said.

  “Since when?” Ben asked. He sounded not only clueless, but a little peeved.

  “It would be tied in to the wedding barn,” Maggie said, “catering and such, but we thought they might also do more than that. Wedding cakes, supplying baked goods to more of the restaurants in the surrounding towns instead of just the ones in Canyon Creek. That sort of thing,”

  “Why are we discussing this in front of the competition?” Max asked.

  “They’re not competition,” Maggie said.

  Max groaned, but didn’t say anything, and Elle wondered if he was fighting the two families working together the way her brother was. Tanner hadn’t stopped grumbling about how the Sumners and Nobles would never be able to work together.

  Elle’s dad reached out with an olive branch. “Max, Valerie tells me you’re helping Shawn with the building of the wedding barn. I can’t wait to see what you guys have done.”

  “You should come by this week and see it,” Maggie said. “It’s gorgeous.”

  “Yes, you should,” Valerie added.

  Everyone turned to Max.

  “Uh, yeah, sure. Mid-afternoon is usually better for us.” Max rubbed his knee again. “Speaking of the barn,” he rose from his chair, “I’ve got to get going. Thanks for inviting me.”

  “You’re welcome,” Elle said. “Sorry about earlier.” She nodded toward the stage. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “It wasn’t you,” he said, his gaze sliding to Emmett. “It was dipshit over there.”

  The table laughed and for once Elle noticed Valerie didn’t scold him. His mother’s attention seemed to be on Max’s leg.

  “Say, Max,” her father said, rising and moving toward the entrance of the lodge with him. “I wanted to talk to you and Shawn about a custom fish tank.”

  “For the resort?” Max said as the two walked away.

  “No, for my house. I love fish, always have, fly fishing mostly.”

  “You fly fish?” Max asked.

  “Yes, actually I just got back from…”

  Their voices trailed off and Elle smiled. This was one of the thousands of reasons why she loved her father. He knew how to neutralize a situation. Elle wasn’t sure what was wrong with Max, but it looked as if he’d been in no small amount of pain.

  “So, Devlin, tell us about this award-winning photo of Elle,” Maggie said.

  Oh, no. Elle didn’t want to talk about herself, especially about any photos Devlin took of her. At least it was taken before she’d lost her—

  “Stop,” Emmett whispered in her ear as if hearing her thoughts.

  She glanced at him. His hazel eyes were filled with such adoration it made her heart hurt. Beauty was only skin deep, and in the eye of the beholder—or so everyone told you when you were young and healthy. She had a feeling Emmett could make her believe all that again.

  “It was a performance in New York at NYU. Swan Lake,” Devlin answered.

  Elle nodded. “Yes, I remember that performance.” She’d only been a junior, performing in what normally was a senior dancer’s role. And she’d been nervous as hell.

  “I was taking photos for the dance department,” Devlin continued, “just promotional stuff for the website and brochures. I was wandering around back stage, just hanging out, looking for something to shoot so I could test my camera. And that’s when I saw her.” Devlin gave Elle a small smile.

  The rest of the table foll
owed her gaze.

  Elle’s eyes darted around their group before she ducked her head.

  “She was sitting on the floor,” Devlin said, “one leg bent up to her chest, the ribbons of her shoes untied and hanging in her hands. I just remembered she looked so…” Devlin paused and Elle lifted her head, waiting anxiously for Devlin to continue. “So, scared. Like life was too much. She clung to those ribbons of her shoes like they were the only thing that would save her.”

  Elle swallowed hard. She remembered that moment. She had felt defeated, in so many ways. She’d doubted herself, her abilities as a dancer. But Devlin was right. She’d always been able to tie on her shoes and let the dance and the music whisk her away from any self-doubt.

  “I instinctively clicked a shot to capture that emotion. I didn’t even think.” Devlin looked back at the group now riveted to her story. “It’s that golden moment photographers seek, that once-in-a-lifetime instant where a person’s guard is down and you can see and feel the raw emotion that lives inside them. You can see their soul.” Devlin stared at Elle. “It’s a personal moment and not one that happens when a person knows they’re being photographed.”

  Elle nodded. She hadn’t known about the picture until later.

  “I never talked to you that day,” Devlin said. “I never even knew who you were, but I felt your fear, I felt your pain and I caught it on film. It’s really you who won the prize, not me. I like to think I was at the right place, perhaps at the wrong time to butt into your private moment, but the right time for me.”

  “Do you have a copy?” Emmett asked.

  “Yes, actually it hangs in my apartment in New York.”

  Maggie glanced at Elle. “Have you seen it?”

  Elle nodded. She’d seen it when Devlin had sent her a release form to use the photo publicly. She had to admit the photograph was beautiful, and poignant, so she’d reluctantly signed the papers. She hadn’t felt like she could say no when Devlin had managed to capture so much emotion in the shot.

  “I actually forgot about the photo after I uploaded them,” Devlin continued. “It wasn’t until my advisor went through them, searching for something to enter into the contest that I remembered Elle’s photo. I knew I had to enter it.”