Never Say Goodbye

by Lori Ryan

  Elle gulped for air, her body coiling as blood roared in her ears and the words I love you rang in her mind, just before her body broke over the edge, but she didn’t speak them. Instead, she cried out his name. “Emmett,” her raspy voice rang through the library. “Oh, Emmett.”

  Emmett held her close as she spasmed, her body pulsating around him. His own shuddered and he held still against her, growling words of adoration in her ear.

  Elle panted as if she’d run a marathon, her heart beating so hard she thought she might pass out. “Emmett, that was…”

  He pulled back, his grin breathtakingly beautiful. “Yeah,” he said, “it was.”

  She laughed and felt him twitch inside. “I can’t believe we just did that,” she glanced around the small area, “in the library, of all places.”

  Emmett pulled out of her and kissed her forehead. “Dream come true,” he said. “Let me go get something and I’ll clean you up.”

  Elle stayed glued on the table, unable to move even if she had to. She watched Emmett pull his pants back up and walk toward the bathroom, his chest still bare. She couldn’t believe he was hers. She didn’t know how long they had until he left—he hadn’t set any concrete plans—but she would take it. For however long they had, she would hold tight.

  Suddenly the thoughts of her earlier conversation with her oncologist’s office floated through her mind, robbing her of the peace she’d felt.

  She was due in New York soon for her annual PET scan to detect cancerous tissue. She’d had many scans in the five years since she’d been diagnosed. Each one brought on a new wave of anxiety no matter how far out from her diagnosis she was. Although this was a momentous one—five years was a huge marker for recurrence. Elle didn’t want Emmett to go through that anxiety with her. Why worry him needlessly. If she could just get past this one scan, things would be different.

  Except, a small voice in the back of her head needled, for the fact that you probably can’t ever give him children.

  Elle felt something cool against her leg. She glanced down and saw Emmett wiping between her legs.

  “What were you thinking about?” he asked. “You looked so sad. Was I not good enough? Do we need to do this again?” His lips curved into an amused grin, but she could see below the joking manner, he was worried. Exactly what she didn’t want.

  “No,” she said, letting her hands trail over his shoulders and up around his neck. “You were amazing.”

  Emmett grabbed her dress and held out his hand, helping her down from the table. “Then what was it?”

  She took the dress from him and slipped her feet inside. “I didn’t even take off my shoes,” she said, laughing. In fact, she still had her bra and panties on.

  “I know, it was fucking hot.”

  Elle shook her head. Men found the strangest things erotic.

  Emmett pulled her to him. “Hot as hell. You’re more limber than a wet noodle. It’s every man’s fantasy.”

  She cocked her head. “Seriously?”

  “Oh, hell yeah,” he said, turning her around and zipping her dress. “Just thinking about all the positions I can put you in has me hard as stone again.”

  She turned to face him. “No way.”

  He grabbed her hand and pressed it against him.

  Elle bit her lip. He was hard again. She slapped her other hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh.

  “Told you.” He winked.

  “Good to know.” She smiled. And it was. It made her heart soar to know she could affect him like this.

  “Do you have plans?” he asked.

  “No, just dinner then hanging out with you. Why?”

  “I want to take you somewhere.”

  “To bed.” She smiled seductively, or at least she hoped it was seductive.

  “Oh definitely,” he grabbed her hand and squeezed it, scooping up his stack of research in his other arm. “Definitely bed. But, later.”

  Elle nodded in agreement. “So where are we going?”

  “Are you going to tell me what you were worrying about earlier?”

  Elle held her breath. Should she tell him? She didn’t want to lie, but there really was no reason to worry him. She would wait until after the scan. “Nothing in particular. Just hoping I was good enough for you.”

  He stared at her for a long moment, bringing her hand up to his mouth and pressing a kiss against her skin. The hurt in his eyes caused her chest to ache. “I hope you’ll trust me with all your fears one day, Elle.”

  Tears burned the back of her eyes. How could she ever think she could hide anything from this man? He was her soulmate, her other half.

  She squeezed his hand as her eyes studied his face. “I have so many fears, Em,” she said softly.

  “I know.” He let their hands fall as he led them out of the library, turning to lock the door behind them.

  Elle stopped, pulling on his shoulder to turn him toward her. “I don’t want to burden you.”

  Emmett stepped toward her, pressing a small kiss against her lips. “Your fears are my fears, Elle. It’s not a burden to me. What’s a burden is when you hide them from me.”

  She nodded once, unable to speak, swallowing the lump in her throat. Hearing him say those words made her want to believe in them. But the small voice in her head was always there, reminding her that this was temporary. That he was leaving. That he couldn’t truly be hers. Not forever. What if she got used to leaning on him only to have that taken away when he left? Where would that leave her?

  “Come on,” he said, tugging on her hand. “Let’s go eat. Then I want to show you something.”

  That was Emmett’s way. He wouldn’t force her. And that made her love him all the more.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The beam of Emmett’s flashlight bounced off the terrain in front of them as he navigated the way over the land at the base of Canyon Creek Mountain. They were on his family’s side of the foothill. He’d traveled this path many times and thought he’d had the area memorized. Now, wandering around the wilderness after so many years away, he wasn’t so sure.

  “It’s freezing out here,” Elle said behind him. “Where are we headed?”

  “It’s a surprise,” he said, pushing through the thick brush littered with patches of snow. “Be careful, watch where you’re going.”

  “Good thing you had me change before we left.”

  Emmett smirked. Yes, he’d helped her change at her condo. He’d undressed her before doing a few other things that weren’t so gentlemanly. He couldn’t help it. Anytime Emmett saw her bare skin his dick grew rock hard. Who was he kidding? Anytime he saw Elle at all, he was lost.

  When his beam of light touched on the mouth of the cave up ahead, he reached back and held out his hand. “We’re almost there.”

  Elle placed her hand in his and he marveled at how well they fit together, pieces of a puzzle that had been separated for far too many years.

  He thought back to his research and wondered with a smile if maybe their souls had been separated for centuries, torn apart after hundreds of years because of a foolish family feud. This was their time.

  “Are we at the Kissing Cave?” Elle asked, coming up next to him.

  Emmett stopped at the entrance. “Why yes, Ms. Noble. We are.”

  Elle glanced at him. He could barely make out her expression from the downcast beam of his flashlight. “You know what the legend is, don’t you?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She smiled nervously.

  The entire town knew the story of the Kissing Cave. Legend said that if you kissed someone inside the cave and carved your initials on the walls, your love would last forever. Most guys used it as a cheesy stunt to get girls to kiss them. That much was clear if you looked at the number of initials that had been scratched through. But Emmett was looking for one set of initials, one that had been scratched inside long ago.

  Ben had proposed to Maggie here in the cave several months ago. Maggie had told Emmett about the init
ials she’d found inside after Ben carved theirs onto the wall. The initials, and the date, had intrigued Emmett from the beginning and had probably cast the first stone on his idea for a historical romance novel. Lost love.

  Emmett stepped through the opening and shined the light on the walls, searching for the set of initials he wanted to show Elle.

  “What are you looking for?” Elle asked, her voice echoing in the cavernous space.

  Emmett remained silent, his light flashing along the walls. There were many initials, some scratched through, others with hearts drawn around them. Maggie had told him where to look, but it still took him some time to find the right set.

  “There,” he said, walking toward the wall, his hand tracing the stony façade.

  “What is it?” Elle stepped closer.

  “The initials,” he said, pointing. “ES and EN.”

  “Us?” Elle stepped closer to look. “When did you do that?”

  “I didn’t. Look here.” Emmett’s fingers circled the numbers underneath the initials. They matched the records he’d found and the dates listed in the journal Ms. Parker had given him a few weeks back.

  Elle frowned. “’91. We were only one or two in 1991.”

  “It’s not 1991. It’s 1891.”

  “1891?” Elle said in disbelief, but stepped closer, as though she might be able to find some evidence of his claim in the initials themselves. “These initials have been here for over a hundred years?”

  “Yes,” Emmett answered, understanding her surprise at the finding.

  “How did you find out about this?” Elle asked.

  “Ben and Maggie told me about the initials. He proposed to her here in the cave. Their initials are somewhere close by.”

  “Right here,” Elle said, her finger pointing to the spot where Ben and Maggie’s initials were carved—BS and ML. Emmett could hear the smile in her voice. “So romantic.”

  Emmett nodded, surprised by his brother’s display of romanticism. He usually found Ben to be dry as toast in the romance department.

  “Did you find out any more about Elsbeth and Emmett? About why they never married?”

  “Apparently, their parents, Ezra Noble and Lazarus Sumner, weren’t willing to let go of the feud over the land. The two men were still fighting when Emmett and Elsbeth fell in love, and so they forbade any of their children to marry each other.”

  “That’s horrible,” Elle said.

  “It gets worse.”

  “How?”

  “Elle never married at all. She pined after Emmett her entire life.”

  “Did Emmett marry?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “A woman named Isabelle. They went on to have lots of children, including an Emmett, Jr.”

  “But Elsbeth never did?” Elle’s voice was filled with longing and disappointment, and something that sounded a lot like fear.

  He shook his head, running his hands up and down her arms in the cool cave.

  “That’s awful,” she said.

  Emmett nodded. “It is.” He stepped closer until their bodies pressed together. “But I don’t want to talk about them anymore. We’re in a cave where true love can be had for a kiss.”

  Emmett’s words were playful, but his tone wasn’t.

  “I think I’ll seal our fate.” He lowered his head to hers, but she stiffened in his arms and stepped back.

  “You can’t.” Elle’s words came on a gasp and cut straight through Emmett’s heart.

  He’d thought for sure this time they were both committed. That they were both falling in love. He’d thought they would leave this cave, one step closer to their happily-ever-after ending.

  He froze and looked down at the face of the woman he loved and saw nothing but anguish in her gaze.

  “What is it?” Emmett asked, taking a small step back from Elle to try to regain his equilibrium.

  She drew in a deep breath. “I really want to kiss you.” He felt her hands shake as he took them in his own and she continued. “I want what we have to be forever, but there’s something you need to know.”

  Emmett leaned in closer, realizing in the dim light of the cave that she was crying.

  “Elle,” he said, his voice only a low croak as he brushed her tears away. “Tell me.”

  The words seemed to come at a cost for her, gutting her as she spoke them. “I’m going for my five-year scan in two weeks. To see…” she paused, seeming to need the time before she could say the words.

  Emmett’s stomach burned with a knot of fear and he thought he might throw up. “To see what, Elle?”

  “To see if the cancer is—”

  Emmett pressed his lips against hers to stop the words. Nothing mattered to him other than the woman in his arms. She was his true love and he would never let her go. Cancer or no cancer.

  He pulled her close and kissed her deeply, putting all he hadn’t yet said to her into the kiss. When he stopped, he kept his lips against hers as he spoke.

  “I love you, Elle.” He drew back, searching her eyes in the dim light of the cave. “I’ll be with you for this scan, and the next scan, and all the others. From now on, if you worry, I worry. It’s as simple as that. I love you,” he repeated, stepping away from her as he pulled a rock from his pocket. “Here,” he said, nodding toward their ancestors’ initials already carved in the stone.

  “Really?” she asked, her eyes wide in surprise.

  “Really,” he said, nodding. “If you are.”

  She smiled wide and nodded then stared down at the rock in his hand. “I am,” she whispered, grasping the rock and walking toward the wall. She glanced over her shoulder one last time.

  “True love,” he whispered. “No matter what.”

  She nodded as her tears slowed. “No matter what,” she repeated. She raised the rock to the wall and began writing.

  Emmett stepped forward, noting that she hadn’t written new initials, instead she’d carved in their own year just under Elsbeth and Emmett’s initials.

  “Maybe they live on in us?” Elle said, turning to face him. She kissed the stone and handed it back.

  Emmett slipped the rock into his pocket, knowing he would never lose it. It signified a new beginning for them both. “Maybe.” He shrugged.

  Elle wrapped her hands around his waist and burrowed her body into his. “Are you going to write their story?”

  “No. I’m going to write our story.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s hard to explain, it’s going to be a contemporary romance, but also historical fiction.”

  “With romance?”

  He leaned down, his lips a breath away from hers. “Oh, a lot of romance, Ms. Noble. I’ll need to do a lot of research though.”

  “Good,” she smiled, leaning forward. “I love you, Emmett” she said, pressing her lips against his before he could respond.

  He smiled against her mouth. Elle had always inspired him, in many ways, and he couldn’t wait to start both his new novel and his new life, with the love of his life.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Elle unlocked the door to the dance studio and ushered her family inside. She hadn’t told them anything about buying the studio for fear they’d try to talk her out of it before the sale was finalized. She’d signed the paperwork six days ago. The studio was finally hers.

  She and Emmett had worked hard over the past week, painting a few walls and cleaning the classrooms from top to bottom. Emmett said he never knew how hard it was to clean so many mirrors.

  The studio looked beautiful and she was finally ready to show her family. Within the next week she would schedule an open house and begin offering dance lessons and maybe a few exercise classes, too. Elle couldn’t suppress a huge grin.

  A flick of the light switch illuminated the reception area. Beyond the counter sat a new laptop and printer along with a list of all the dancers currently enrolled at the Ms. Payne’s dance academy. Elle had purchased the database of customers along with the nam
e of the school and the space.

  “This is your old dance studio, isn’t it?” Brody asked, walking into the area.

  “Yes,” she answered quietly, chewing her bottom lip. She worried what her family would think of her making such a huge decision without their knowledge or help.

  “It looks different,” her father said. He should know. He’d spent almost as much time here as she had growing up. Despite his lack of knowledge of the dance world, Warner Noble had never let that stop him from being her biggest fan, attending every recital.

  “I painted this and a few other rooms,” Elle said, tossing her keys onto the counter.

  “Why would you paint old lady Payne’s studio?” Tanner asked as he surveyed the room. “Did she pay you?” He turned to his dad. “You really need to pay her more if she’s having to take painting jobs on the side.” Both Tanner and Brody broke out in laughter.

  Cheeta came around the corner from the office, where Elle had left her napping earlier, and growled at the men.

  “What the hell?” Brody nearly screamed. “Why did you bring that mutt in here?”

  “Where the hell did he come from?” Tanner asked, his eyes narrowed on Cheeta.

  Elle glared as she scooped up the dog. “For the hundredth time—”

  “He’s a she,” they all said in unison.

  “They only do that to get a rise out of you,” her father said, coming up next to her and scratching Cheeta’s head. “And the dog,” He added. As if sensing his allegiance, Cheeta tilted her head and licked her father’s fingers.

  “That’s no dog,” Tanner laughed. “It’s a—”

  Cheeta barked, cutting her brother off.

  A smile covered Elle’s face as she patted her dog’s head. “Good, girl, Cheeta, good girl.”

  “You still haven’t explained to us why we’re here,” Brody said, turning to face her.

  “Well,” she glanced down and kicked at the linoleum. It was worn and was on her list of things to replace after she’d increased revenues.

  “Elle?” Tanner prompted.