Love Hard (Hard Play Book 3)

by Nalini Singh

  Jacob Esera’s Steps to a Stealth Courtship

  As always, New York was beautiful chaos. This wasn’t Jake’s first time in the city, but he’d only been twice before, both times while in transit to somewhere else. At least their time at the airport had gone smoothly—though not one but two camera crews associated with New Zealand stations had been waiting for their arrival.

  It turned out Everett’s marketing department had released a sneak peek of the ad by way of a “making of” video, and it had gone viral while they were in the air. Given the subject matter, however, the media questions had been softballs, and since he’d spotted the cameras early, he’d been able to ask Juliet to spirit Esme out of shot.

  He’d worried the viral nature of the clip would nix his anonymity here, but then Juliet had pulled up the stats for the video and he’d realized New York had far more people than were represented in the figures. It was also highly unlikely anyone would recognize him from a short clip—especially since he now had all his clothes on.

  “So many people, Daddy!” Esme declared when he took her for a walk in Times Square after checking into the hotel.

  With it being early afternoon here, there was no way she’d wanted to stay inside the hotel. Neither did he, not after being cooped up in the plane for so many hours. But he’d given her a bath since she’d admitted to feeling “goopy” after the long flight, then had a shower himself.

  During his shower, Esme had happily amused herself watching the wild world outside their hotel window—all while wrapped up in a giant hotel bathrobe. When he’d asked her if she wanted to try it, she’d jumped up and down and grinned. So he’d put her in it, rolled up the sleeves, and she’d trailed the robe behind her like a queen as she walked.

  Now, in the summer sunshine on this side of the world, Esme wore a colorful little faux jumpsuit her grandmother had made for her. It was faux because while it looked like the “big girl” jumpsuits Esme had coveted, the pants could be pulled down if she needed to use the bathroom. A bright yellow with white daisies all over it, the fabric suited his sunny, happy daughter.

  Her shoes were her favorite light-up princess sneakers, and he’d put two sparkly white barrettes in her damp hair to keep it out of her way.

  Jake was far less colorful in his faded blue jeans and white T-shirt paired with his old black Doc Martens.

  His daughter stared agog at the color and music all around them.

  “Where’s Jules?” she asked at one point.

  “She had to work.” Jake wasn’t sure if that was true or if Juliet was using it as a convenient excuse—she’d turned wary after that honest exchange in the lounge. Or maybe she’d caught the hunting glint in his eye and realized he was playing for keeps.

  “Ask her if she finished her work,” Esme insisted even as he was plotting how to lure Juliet out into the open. “She’s gonna miss the fun.”

  Lips curving in a surely wicked smile, Jake reached into his pocket and grabbed his phone. But, after making the call, he handed the phone to Esme. “Here, you ask.” No one had ever said Jacob Esera was stupid.

  “It’s me, Esme!” Esme cried cheerfully into the phone. “Did you finish your work?” A pause as she listened. Then, “I got my picture with a wizard!” Another pause. “Uh-huh. Are you gonna come out? Please.”

  Yeah, that please was going to do it, Jake thought smugly. Esme wasn’t yet aware of how sweet and adorable she sounded when she said it just that way, but Jake was already girding himself for when she got older.

  “Daddy, can I borrow the car? Please?”

  “Daddy, can my friend”—insert some idiot boy’s name—“come study with me in my room? Please?”

  “Daddy, can I go to this party? Please?”

  He was going to have to grow fucking titanium armor to have any hope of resisting her.

  “Yeah!” Esme bounced against his arm. “Um, we’re by the…” She looked around. “There’s a statue. He’s all gold. He’s actually a person—I saw him move,” she whispered into the phone. “But don’t tell. It’ll hurt his feelings.”

  Jake bit the inside of his lip and waited.

  “Uh-huh. Okay, see you!” Esme handed over the phone.

  “Juliet’s coming?” he asked as he slipped his phone back into his pocket.

  “Yup.”

  He held out his hand, palm up. Grinning, his daughter gave him a high five.

  And not long afterward, there was Jules, her hair damp and her luscious body clad in jeans and a navy T-shirt with a black design down one side, gold hoops in her ears. Except for the hoops and her watch, she wore no jewelry and hadn’t bothered with makeup. But she’d tucked the T-shirt in, and on her feet was a pair of black heels.

  Jake’s entire body pulsed; he wanted to see her in nothing but those skyscraper heels. Or better yet, have her long, long legs wrapped around him, heels on her feet as he pounded into her deep and hard.

  “Love the outfit,” she said, talking to Esme in that way she had of doing—as if Esme was a grown-up—and his sexual interest softened into something gentler, more tender.

  “See my buttons,” Esme said, pointing out the flower-shaped buttons. “Grandma lemme choose.”

  “Nice.”

  “I like your shoes.” Esme eyed the heels. “I wanna be tall.”

  Juliet winked. “Get a little older and I’ll teach you how to wear them.”

  Smile brilliant, Esme dropped Jake’s hand to take Juliet’s. “Come see the wizard, Jules.”

  The three of them spent the next hour wandering around Times Square, just taking in the frenetic vibe. Jake couldn’t handle a constant barrage of this, but for a lazy afternoon, it was fun—especially with Juliet and Esme. His daughter was all wide-eyed innocence while Juliet’s sharp commentary had him biting back laughter more than once.

  When Esme yawned for the third time in the same minute, he picked her up in his arms and they began to head toward the hotel. “I’ll put her down for a nap,” he told Juliet. “We can talk about tomorrow’s schedule then.” And he could begin his not-so-stealth assault of a courtship.

  Step one: Lure Juliet into his lair. Success!

  Step two: Show her the two of them were friends already.

  Step three: Dependent on outcome of step two, but he had hopes of a kiss. He missed her touch.

  “No nap, Daddy,” Esme protested while her eyes fluttered shut.

  “Just a little one,” he promised. “I want you to be able to sleep tonight. So don’t be grumpy when I wake you after half an hour.”

  She stuck out her tongue at him.

  Grinning, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Nap, and no backchat from the cheeky corner.”

  Snuggling against his shoulder, she yawned again. “Only short,” she said, and her eyes closed.

  Juliet was looking at Esme with the softest expression on her face when he glanced at her. Yep, his baby girl was going to walk all over Juliet. It made him want to grin that the prickly beater-up-of-boys-twice-her-size was putty in the hands of a pint-size girl. Jake would have to protect her from his daughter’s adorable ways.

  The two of them didn’t speak until they were in the hotel corridor and Esme was fast asleep against his shoulder. She was making those little snuffling sounds that she’d made from babyhood when she was in a deep sleep. It was freaking adorable, and when she grew up one day and fell in love, some damn lucky man would probably grin while watching her sleep beside him.

  “We can talk in the living area of our suite,” he told Juliet. “If that works for you?”

  “Yes. Let me pick up my laptop and notebook. Join you in a second.”

  Leaving the door open behind him, Jake walked into the bedroom that Esme had claimed for herself. He fully expected her to run across the living area at bedtime and crawl into bed with him instead. His daughter was intrepid, but this was a new place and a whole new environment. She’d probably need her daddy the first night at least.

  After tugging down the blank
et, he put her to sleep under it. She looked so tiny in the middle of the king-sized bed, her head on a giant pillow, and his heart, it filled all over again with the love he felt for her. And also with fear. Jesus Christ, it was terrifying having a kid and knowing there was so much in the world that could hurt her.

  He ensured she was covered up since the air-conditioning was crisp, then walked out into the living area. He was using the provided coffee pods to make a couple of drinks when Juliet walked in. She closed the door, then put her laptop and satchel on the coffee table.

  “Here, Jules.” He held out one of the drinks. “Mocha, right?”

  The corners of her eyes flared slightly as she took it.

  “What?” he said. “Is my hair sticking up or something?” It probably was, thanks to a habit of Esme’s left over from babyhood. The times she fell asleep against his shoulder, she usually ended up with a hunk of his hair in her fist. Not pulling. Just kind of kneading.

  He’d had to work her fingers gently loose before he put her down to nap.

  “No.” Juliet shrugged. “I guess I’m not used to a guy making coffee for me.” A slight hint of suspicion around her eyes. “Why are you doing it?”

  “Because I intend to talk you into swinging-from-the-hotel-chandelier sex.”

  She froze with the cup partway to her mouth, her lips parted. “Funny, Jacob.”

  Unable to resist, he tugged on a strand of her hair. “My dad always makes my mum her morning cup.” A ritual he’d observed from childhood, an act so normal it just was. “Though yeah, I can’t see Reid doing it. Asshole.”

  Juliet snorted, then had to cough to clear her throat. “Don’t hold back.” But the suspicion was gone, her deep sigh at her first sip of the coffee making him want to groan.

  “When a word fits…” Picking up his own drink, he walked over to take the sofa facing her. “You don’t have to answer, and I’m not being an ass here—I really want to know. What drew you to him?”

  Smile fading, she didn’t answer for so long that he thought that was it. He watched as she opened up her laptop, pulled out a notebook.

  “You know how I went back to Samoa?” she said at last. “It was because my aunt caught me in bed with a boy from school. Making out. My top was off, but that was about it.”

  Jake hadn’t realized she’d had a boyfriend at school. “Who was it?”

  “No one important. Just the start of my tendency to pick the wrong men.” She took another sip of her coffee. “He bolted and left me to deal with the fallout.”

  One thing Jake could say—he’d never done that. He’d faced up and been by Calypso’s side for everything. “Your aunt was strict, traditional?”

  A nod. “My grandparents were even stricter.” The look on her face was difficult to read, difficult to divine. A kind of smudged sadness. “They had photos of my father from when he was a young boy, but none of him with my mother—or with me. My father was a student on a scholarship in Auckland when he met my mother.

  “They weren’t married when I was born, and even though they were both adults at the time, it was considered a shameful thing by my grandparents. But he was their only son and they might’ve come around, only apparently my mother wasn’t religious and wouldn’t pretend and they took it as a personal insult.”

  “Yeah, I’ve known people like that.”

  “They cut my father out of the family,” she added.

  “I’ve never understood how a parent could do that.” Jake was so angry for those two long-ago lovers. “I’d cut out my own heart and throw it in the garbage before I’d ever cut off Esme.”

  Juliet glared at him. “Stop it.”

  “What?” He spread his hands, honestly not knowing what he’d done.

  “Being so…” A wave of her hand that explained nothing. “Anyway, my grandparents didn’t love like you love. They stopped talking to my dad, told him not to come back to their village, the whole feudal drama.

  “Then my parents died in an accident and I was three years old, and it would’ve been more shameful to let their grandchild go into care, so they strong-armed my aunt into raising me. But they never forgave my parents. Out of wedlock, they said. I’d been born out of wedlock.”

  Jake had never heard anyone use that old-fashioned phrase. His family had shielded him and Esme from all that—they’d literally stopped seeing friends who’d tried to make judgments about Jake, Calypso, and their baby girl. The only reason the Eseras had remained with their longtime church was because the pastor was a man who understood that family and raising children with love was what mattered—he’d preached that when the news first circulated.

  “Your grandmother and grandfather were unkind to you?” He had to fight to keep his voice even. She’d grown up with a resentful aunt, only to be sent to grandparents who considered her a mistake.

  Juliet cupped her mug with both hands. “It wasn’t so simple. They were… disappointed. In my father and in me. Not just for being caught with that boy, but for the detentions, the terrible grades, all that stuff. They blamed my mother—the bad blood coming out.”

  “Jesus, Jules. Tell me you didn’t internalize that?” Jake had no sympathy for people who’d say such things to a child.

  Juliet’s smile was faded. “No. I was old enough to pity all they’d lost because of their prejudice. In the end, when I finished my final year of high school with good grades and no demerits, they softened toward me.”

  “Whoa, wait.” Rising, he went around to her side and sat on the coffee table, so close to her that their knees touched, then reached out to lift up a lock of hair near her forehead.

  Eyebrows drawing together, she said, “Jacob, what are you doing?”

  “Checking for the lobotomy scars.”

  A laughing snort exited her lips in a burst that told him she’d lost control. The sound was so damn cute that he leaned in and kissed her. Not a sexy, come-to-bed kind of kiss, but a soft, playful, hey-you kind of kiss.

  She was smiling when they went into it, was still smiling when they parted. And his heart, it went boom all over again. To have Juliet smile at him that way…

  “No lobotomy,” she said, the sadness no longer heavy on her features. “I was just tired, I guess—I mean, it didn’t take a psych degree to realize I’d been acting out all that time to get my aunt to pay attention to me.”

  It might not have taken a degree, Jake thought, but it had taken a kind of painful emotional clarity no teenage girl should have to possess. Juliet had basically accepted that no one in her family would ever love her, and fuck but he wanted to destroy them all for the harm they’d done her.

  “In Samoa,” she added, “I realized the futility of trying for any kind of connection with my relatives and decided the only way out was with academics, so I put my head down. Then I heard what happened to Calypso, and…” A hard swallow. “She was the best friend I ever had. The only one who never judged me, who liked me for me.”

  “Sorry for being a dick to you back then,” Jake said with a grimace; he was devastated that he might’ve added to her hurt. “But I’ve learned and grown.”

  A sudden, delighted smile. “Oh, Jake, that’s different—we were dicks to each other. I called you a gearhead jock more than once, remember? The insults canceled out—and the only time I asked you for something, you came through. We’re good.”

  That smile, it hit him in the gut, left him breathless.

  Made him want to pull her into his lap and kiss her and kiss her and kiss her.

  25

  Five Children, Three Dogs, Four Cats… and an Honest-to-Goodness Goat in the Backyard

  Instead of giving in to his compulsion to kiss that smile into his mouth, Jake leaned forward to play with strands of her hair instead. No way would he interrupt her when she was trusting him with such private memories, such closely held wounds.

  An arch look at his fingers in her hair, but her smile didn’t fade. “Anyway,” she said, “after I completed high school, I did a voc
ational course that taught office skills—typing, advanced computer literacy, things like that. I was just finishing when my granddad died of a heart attack. My grandma followed six months later.” A touch of sorrow in her voice—because behind her hard shell, Jules was as soft as they came, and she felt even for people who’d deprived her of love.

  “After her death,” Juliet said, “the village chief came to me and said my grandparents had made a will and put it in his keeping. They owned their house, and they had a small amount in savings, and it was all left to me. Let’s say my aunt wasn’t pleased.”

  Jake wondered how much Juliet had done for her elderly grandparents while she was living with them and whether, in their twilight years, they’d realized what they’d given up by raising a child without love. “You took the money and came home?” She’d been born in Auckland, Samoa a foreign land to her.

  She nodded. “I took out their savings and sold their house—it wasn’t worth a huge amount compared to Auckland prices, but the chief was a nice man and he helped me get a good price for that area. After buying my plane ticket home, I transferred the balance to a new account here since I couldn’t be sure if my aunt still had access to the old one. Arrived in the city knowing no one but her and well, you know I wasn’t going to go to her.”

  “You knew me,” Jake found himself saying, furious that she’d had no one on whom to lean. Not even at his worst had he ever been that alone. His family was his first and most important team.

  “I knew Calypso,” Juliet pointed out. “You were just the strutting gearhead jock with whom she’d had the bad taste to fall in love.”

  He scowled at her.

  Cheeks creasing, she said, “Honestly, I shouldn’t have put it that way—I wasn’t quite Orphan Annie. The chief knew a pastor here, and he and his family put me up while I hunted for a place to stay.”

  She laughed. “They had five children, three dogs, four cats, one other houseguest, and an honest-to-goodness goat in the backyard. I’m not sure they even noticed an extra person in the mix—they fed everyone who came to their table.”