“Don’t,” he pleads. I protest.
“You have to let me explain or at least apologise.” he shakes his head at me.
“What’s there to explain, that you can’t handle your drink?” I blush again. Is he mocking me?
“That’s not funny,”
“Did I say that it was?” his answer is short and sweet.
“No, but that glint in your eyes tells me all that I need to know.” he giggles and runs his finger along my chin.
“Ashley last night was … strange, but in the best way possible. You finally showed that you’re human after all. You gave in to your feelings. I was bummed out when you feel asleep, but I have a plan to ensure that it will never happen again.”
“Oh and what’s your plan exactly?” he laughs at my reply.
“It’s simple; you won’t be drinking alcohol any time soon.” I pout and he grins. “Now, I’ve ordered breakfast. You should shower.” he says as he pushes himself off of the bed. He smiles at me and then he walks out of the room. I watch as he leaves. Man, am I in trouble.
I have showered and dressed for today. My hair is still wet and I have applied some make-up. My eyes were puffy and my alcohol breath was deadly. Luckily, I was able to make myself look half presentable. I make my way into the kitchen. Jonathon is nowhere in sight. I scan the house. I can hear the TV from the living room. I stride across the room and there he is, sitting on the sofa, still shirtless and more gorgeous than ever. He takes my breath away as he looks up at me. I smile and sit down onto the leather chair across from him. We stare at each other for a few moments, and then the door buzzes. He jumps off the sofa and walks over to the door. He turns to look at me before he opens the door.
“It’ll be the food,” he says, almost asking for my permission to open the door. I half-smile at him and then he pulls open the door. A delivery guy hands him a paper bag, he pays the guy and then thanks him. He carries the bags into the kitchen. He shouts for me to follow him. He asks me to plate up the food, whilst he throws on his shirt. I smile at him. Why can’t I stop that? My jaw is starting to hurt, yet I continue to show my emotion. I shake my head and prepare the food. Jonathon has ordered quite a lot of food, consisting of eggs, bacon, pancakes, other pastries’ and fruit. He jogs back into the room. Now dressed in a maroon t-shirt. His arms are really tanned and he really suits that colour. He catches me staring. He doesn’t say anything. He just carries the plates of food over to the table. I make some more coffee and bring the pot over to the large dining table. He signals for me to sit. I do as he says and then he flashes me that megawatt smile as he pops a forkful of food into his mouth. I pick at my breakfast. Jonathon notices my actions and he quickly questions me.
“Is there something wrong?”
“No, I just feel a little fragile, you know?” he nods and shovels another forkful of food into his perfect mouth. I laugh. “I see that your appetite is prominent.” He dismisses my comment and quickly changes the subject.
“Are you excited about tonight?”
“I’m more nervous than excited.” I confess. Jonathon drops his fork and locks those deep brown eyes on mine.
“You have no reason to be nervous.” he says in a soothing voice. I feel warm inside. I like to hear his praise. I want more. He delivers without fail. “You have an amazing voice and a spectacular stage-presence to match. I have every faith in you. You’re the whole package. You’re beautiful beyond words and your voice is like liquid-gold.” I melt. His words are kind, sinful and make me feel utterly speechless.
“I want to thank you for everything.” he laughs and starts to eat.
“Fuck, I forgot that I have something for you.” he says leaping out of his chair. I am stunned. What could he have for me? He rushes back to the table. He is holding a white envelope in his hand. I am confused. What does he have for me? He sits down at the table, and he slides the envelope across the glass surface, he instructs me to open it. I lift the envelope from the table and I gently tear at the seal. The paper screeches as it rips. I pull out what looks like two airline tickets. I am stunned and confused.
“What is this?” I ask.
“What does it look like?” he’s sarcastic. I feel lost and his reply has done nothing for my confidence. I look at him with my heavy eyes. His hard shell softens and he explains. “I believe that you were having some money troubles. You said that you needed to book a flight for your mothers wedding, so here are your tickets.” I don’t believe this. I am shocked.
“I can’t believe that you did this.” I say looking at the tickets in shock. Crap the seats are in first class and there’s also a ticket for Sydney. I can’t accept them. They must have cost a fortune. “This is too much, I can’t…”
“Don’t start. Of course you can accept the tickets and you will.” he orders. I frown at him.
“No I can’t. I appreciate the gesture, but it’s just too … much. I know how expensive a coach flight is, so I can’t begin to imagine how much a first class seat costs.” he looks impatient with me. I don’t care.
“Ashley, money isn’t a problem for me.” I narrow my eyes at him.
“There’s no need to brag,” I scold. He exhales.
“I wasn’t, but it’s the truth. I have more money than I will ever care to spend. Let me help you. I want to do this for you.” his voice is firm and I get the feeling that I shouldn’t press this matter any further. But I am going to ignore my inner warnings, and question him until he is blue in the face.
“Why do you want to help me?” he rolls his eyes. He senses my intention.
“I know your game and I’m not playing.” I pout at him he looks frustrated. I laugh. “You’re so annoying,” he screams.
“I know, now tell me.” he looks defeated and I bask in the sight.
“I don’t want you to miss your mothers wedding. I would hate to see you unhappy, especially if I can help and spare you that sorrow. That’s my reason, are you satisfied now that I have spilled my guts?”
“Yeah, I am actually.” Our stare is intense. I get the feeling that he’s over this conversation.
“So it’s settled, you’ll accept my gift?” I think for a moment. I feel awful, but sort of relieved and flattered. I am grateful for his generosity and the fact that he wants me to be happy. However, at the same time I feel guilty and cheap. I know it’s wrong to accept gifts of this extravagance from guys. I have lived through that with Brandon. Do I really want to go back there?
“I want to be clear on something, first.”
“Anything,” he says in a deep, business like voice.
“I want you to confirm that I didn’t ask nor did I want you to buy me these tickets?” he’s flustered and annoyed beyond belief.
“Yes, yes, you didn’t ask me to buy you the tickets. Now will you just say ‘thanks’ and drop the subject?????” I sigh.
“Thank you Mr Wilde,”
The door buzzes again. I get out of my seat. Who could it be? My mind starts to rush and I pray that it’s not Tyler. I know how Jonathon can get and I don’t want to upset him. I reach the door and I look out the peep hole. Fuck, its Sydney. I totally forgot that we made plans to go to the beach. I take a deep breath as I pull open the door. Sydney brushes past me and enters the house. She’s already wearing her beach outfit, consisting of a black bikini top and cut-off jeans. She stares at me. Looking me up and down and disapproving when she sees that I am not ready. I don’t think she realises that Jonathon is still here. I hate to think what she will say when she finds out that he stayed over. I cringe inside with shame. I try to compose myself, as I bid her good morning.
“Hey,” I say and she smiles at me.
“Hi, so are you ready?” I frown and scratch my head as I think. Sydney senses my edginess. “You look rough, girl. Did things not go well with Mr …” I shoot her a look of ‘please don’t finish that sentence’. She senses my urgency and she smiles. “He’s still here isn’t he?” I blush. Here we go.
“Yeah,” I
cringe. She smiles at me. She obviously approves.
“Well good on you girl.” Someone make her stop.
“Sydney…,” I say, but I pause as Jonathon walks into the living room. He rests his arms on the edge of the sofa and he looks over at us. I feel bad. I have my friend who I promised to spend time with, and now there’s Jonathon. He has been so good to me and I want to spend more time with him. I don’t want to choose between my best friend and the guy that I like. Think Ashley. I wonder if Sydney would mind if Jonathon joined us that beach.
“Jonathon, Sydney and I made plans to go to the beach today.” he nods and walks over to me. He extends his arm and gently runs his fingers along my cheek.
“Go and spend time with your friend,” he says in a soft voice. I smile at him, and then I remember that I was about to ask him to join us. Luckily Sydney jumps in and invites him on my behalf.
“Why don’t join us? That’s if you aren’t busy?” he briefly smiles at Sydney and then he turns to me, with his eyes soft and playful. He needs my approval before he agrees. He’s so sweet.
“I will if you want me to,” he says in a sexy voice. I swoon and agree.
“I would really like that,” he laughs as he moves his finger over to my nose. He lightly squeezes the tip of my nose. I smile and he paralyzes me with that stunning line. I wonder if he knows the affect he has on me?
“Okay, which beach are you going to?” He asks looking at Sydney.
“Santa Monica,” he nods and looks at me again.
“I’ll meet you there in a bit?” I am confused. Why does he have to leave? My mind erupts, Candy. I realise that I haven’t asked about her. Oh crap, have I just become the third person in his relationship? Ask him about it Ashley.
“Jonathon I need to ask you something,”
“Anything,” I clear my throat and try to close my ears. I need to know the answer to my question, but that doesn’t mean that I want to. I would hate to be the cause of a failed relationship. Candy and I aren’t best friends, but there’s still a female code to obey.
“Are you still with Candy?” he smiles at me.
“No, I thought I told you that I ended things with her?” I beam.
“No, you missed that part out,” he laughs and kisses me on the cheek. He excuses himself and I watch as he leaves. My heart flutters and spirals to the pit of my stomach. Sydney approaches me and gives me a little shake.
“Come on; let’s get you looking like a million dollars.”
The air is hot and the beach is busy. Couples frolic on the sand and children play in the shallow ends of the ocean. Sydney and I find some sun loungers at the furthest away end of the beach. I place my towel down onto the bed, and Sydney gladly leaves the one next to me free. I smile and thank her. It’s really hot and thank God that I remembered to bring my sun cream. I strip off my white maxi dress to reveal a hot pink bikini –Sydney’s choice. I apply some sun cream to my legs, stomach and arms. Sydney kindly applies the cream on my back. I repay the favour, and then I push my large sunglasses onto the bridge of my nose, as I rest on the lounger. I have brought my iPod and I shove one earphone in my ear and press play. The sound of ‘Rihanna’ floods my hearing. I smile and mouth the words. Sydney has brought her own iPod and as always, she’s brought her sketch pad along with a large pencil case that’s stuffed so much. That it won’t close. She says that she feels most inspired to draw when she’s in a public place. She draws inspiration from the people. Her drawings are amazing. She’s really talented.
“You look so happy,” Sydney says looking at me through her dark glasses. I smile and press pause on my iPod.
“Really?” I ask.
“Don’t you feel happy?” I sigh at her question.
“I don’t know. I feel … odd, it’s strange, you know?” Sydney fixes her poker straight hair as she replies.
“It must be. You’ve spent the past year trying to block yourself off from feelings. Now that you’ve opened yourself up again, you’re bound to feel odd.” As always Sydney puts everything into perspective. “I guess the question is, are you ready for what’s gonna happen next?” she says looking away from me. I turn my head to see what she sees. Jonathon is walking along the beach. He’s wearing a white vest and red swim shorts. His Gucci cap is turned backwards on his head. His smile is devilish. He isn’t alone. There’s another guy with him, a tall guy with longish sandy blonde hair. He’s wearing black shorts and a matching black vest. He’s handsome and very manly. I wonder who he is. Sydney can’t take her eyes off ‘Mr Newbie’; yeah I have given him a pet name. They reach us and Jonathon’s eyes fall onto my swim wear. He looks impressed as he takes in my appearance. He smiles at me and introduces me to his friend.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited my friend Austin to join us,” Austin, that’s a pretty name, it suits him. He looks like an Austin. I smile at the guy and say.
“No not all, it’s nice to meet you Austin,” I extend my arm and he shakes my hand. He looks at Sydney and I remember to introduce them. “Austin this is my friend Sydney,” he smiles and shakes Sydney’s hand. Jonathon smirks at me as he flops down onto the lounger next to me. Austin gladly takes the free lounger next to Sydney. Jonathon takes off his vest to reveal that stunning physique. He reaches into his pocket and he pulls out his aviators. He places them onto his face and he reaches over and grabs my free earphone. He lodges it into his ear and he signals for me to press play. My heart skips a beat as the music erupts through me. Jonathon looks at me and raises a dark eyebrow in my direction. I think he disapproves of my music choice.
“Rihanna,” he says wickedly. I blush. I remember last night. We danced to ‘what’s my name’ and that very track is playing for us again. He bites his lip as he extends his arm. He grabs onto my hand and his fingers intertwine with mine. My breathing quickens, but I manage to remain cool. He sighs and judges my hand. He brings it closer to his face, breathing soft, fragile breaths as he does. “A tattoo?” he says locking those eyes on mine. I smile at him. Is he really just noticing my hand- ink now?
“Yeah what of it?” I say holding back a little giggle.
“Nothing, nothing,” he says sarcastically. I pout at him. I know he wants to say something, yet he’s holding back.
“C’mon what’s your opinion on tattoos? Do you not approve or something?” I push the subject. His lip quirks up at one side. That line forms and takes my breath away.
“What makes you think that I wouldn’t approve?” he states.
“Well do you?” he laughs at me –again. He’s so annoying, yet stunning. He torments me with his devilish smile.
“It’s not that I don’t approve of you having a tattoo. But, by you having that on your body, it makes me feel that there’s so much more to you. I think that you aren’t letting me all the way in. I wish I knew what I could do to make you open up.” I bite my lip. Would it really be all bad if he knew the truth about me? Would it make him hate me? Would he feel disgusted by my past behaviours? If he were to hate me, I couldn’t survive it.
“I have nothing to tell. No reason to let you in. There’s nothing that you need to know.” I lie. The alternative isn’t worth the sorrow. I couldn’t risk losing him. I have come so far by letting him this far in. I don’t know that I can go beyond my own lines. My guards and walls that I have formed to protect myself, are too high and precious. Can I really give all that up because I think that I care for this guy?
“If that’s your answer then I have nothing more to say.” he says in a soft voice. I smile at him. Aching inside as his deep brown eyes stare deep into mine. His lips form a sweet smile and he rests his head against the lounger.
We have been at the beach for about hour or so. It’s so hot. Sydney and Austin have seemed to hit it off. They went to grab us some bottles of water from the beach-bar, but that was twenty minutes ago and there’s been no sign of either of them since. Jonathon and I are melting from the heat, the water looks tempting. He makes a darting look at the ocean
and lunges off of the lounger. He grabs onto my arm and try’s to pry me off the bed. I protest. I love to look at the ocean, but I hate to get in water. He doesn’t know this about me, and persists on trying to pull me off the lounger. I begin to get flustered and push him away. He has a wicked look in his eyes. He lightly pats the top of my head, before he swoops me into his arms. He runs with me in the direction of the water. I laugh and playfully slap his arm. He ignores me and runs wildly into the water with me still in his arms. The water cascades his body and lightly splashes onto me. He spins me around and it feels like I am flying. I let out a hysterical giggle and he spins me again. I am floating in his strong arms. The sea breeze is blowing through my loose, caramel hair. Jonathon frees one of his hands and takes the cap off his head. He places it onto mine and he smiles at me. He slowly eases me into the water. His hands slide down each side of my body, sending chills and a divine sensation throughout my entire being. He pulls me further into the water, and now the level is beyond my waist. My eyes close and I can feel him holding onto me. I love this tender side to him. This feeling is like nothing that I have ever experienced before. Why did I resist him for so long? I feel stupid in my poor attempts. Look what I was missing. He’s amazing and nothing at all like Brandon, or am I just blinded by my feelings for the second time in my life?
“You’re so beautiful,” he says as his hand slides through the ends of my hair. My head is exploding with thoughts and images of what our life would be like together. Give in Ashley. My subconscious is screaming at me. I do as she says and I lunge forward into his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and I pull him close to me. I stand on my tip-toes and place my lips onto his. We kiss as the water cascades our bodies. It feels right, dangerous, but right none the less. He deepens the kiss the by pulling me closer. I have caved in. I am his for the taking. I have sacrificed everything, my heart included for this moment. I pray to God and to him. Please don’t hurt me.
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