Gnome On The Range

by Jennifer Zane

  I gave him the evil eye. “You’ve probably got plenty at your house!”

  “I got so mad thinking about Dexter I squeezed the hell out of the bottle and shampoo shot everywhere.” Obviously he ignored my barb. “I want to kill him so bad I’m going to need anger management classes to get over it. But the fucker’s already dead.”

  He moved to the far end of the couch where Kelly had been, lifted my feet, sat down and dropped my feet in his lap. Closed his eyes and sighed. “I’m so fucking tired.”

  This, I had not expected.

  “What are you doing here?” Had he been wandering the streets looking like Smokey the Bear’s sidekick?

  He opened his eyes and looked at me. “What do you mean?” He looked completely confused by my anger. And that made me even angrier.

  “You walked out on me!” I yelled.

  “I didn’t walk out on you.” He gave my feet a squeeze. His hands warmed my skin. “I walked out of the hospital. I had to get the hell out of there. This day has been insane.”

  Duh.

  “One minute I’m fighting a forest fire, the next minute a lunatic comes barreling out of the woods with a gas can in his hand. When he told us who paid him to start the fire, because clearly he couldn’t come up with the idea on his own, I had a bad feeling. Got any beer?”

  I nodded, completely baffled by Ty’s disappearance, reappearance, shower. Everything.

  He got up, got the beer from the fridge and returned to his spot.

  After a few swallows he continued, “I play poker with one of the 911 dispatchers. He recognized your name from your call and thought I might want to know. I was tracked down on the fire and patched through the details. Driving back to town was the longest two hours of my life. He said you were fine but I had to see for myself.”

  Any interest in crying was gone, replaced by the happiness I’d felt early in the morning when Ty leaned over me and said he’d fallen for me. This day had been insane.

  “I…I thought you walked away from me. From us.”

  Ty’s eyes flared in understanding. He shook his head. “No. Never.”

  “What about my dinner with Dex?”

  Ty lifted an eyebrow. “I told you that night, I know you’re not a cheater.”

  I was still confused. “Then why were you so angry?”

  He squeezed my foot again. “You just looked so fragile, so breakable lying there. While you cried in my arms I thought about what he could have done to you. What he had done to you. I was so angry I had to get out of there. I was afraid in my anger I might hurt you, more than what Dexter had done. I’m sorry you didn’t understand that.”

  As apologies go, it was a darn good one. I picked up George, cracks and all, his ceramic body cool beneath my fingers. “Who would have imagined my entire life would be turned upside down by two garden gnomes?”

  “Never in a million years,” Ty grumbled. He took George from me and put him back on the coffee table along with his beer. He lifted my feet off his lap and worked his way across the couch, lying on top of me, up on one elbow. I could feel every hard inch of him, some places much harder than others. His body heat seeped into me. He smelled like my soap and beer.

  “Am I too heavy?” he asked, worried. He started to pull away, but I yanked him back on top of me.

  “No, just right.” I ran my fingers over the letters on his T-shirt, afraid to look him in the eye. “So, um, about what you said to me this morning in bed.”

  “Oh, you were awake.” One tip of his mouth curved up.

  “Only for the good parts.”

  “Good parts?” He tucked a curl behind my ear.

  I pretended to think about it. “You said something about sex.”

  “Sex is definitely a good part.”

  I pushed against him and laughed. “I also heard something about falling?”

  Ty’s eyes met mine. I could see so much in them. The fear from the day, the playful lust, the love. “Oh, I’ve definitely fallen.”

  He lowered his head for a kiss. Not just an it’s-just-sex kiss. This was a love kiss and that made it all the better. Lots of tongue didn’t hurt either.

  “I love you, Ty,” I said, when we surfaced.

  Ty smiled and exhaled. His expression was crowded with a mingling of relief and love. “I didn’t think it was possible to care that much again after all the shit I saw in the Gulf. The first time I saw you, bam, I felt something.”

  I was reminded of the zing I felt when I first saw him at the pancake breakfast. The day we got the gnomes at the garage sale. “You felt a bam? I felt a zing.”

  He ran his hand over my hair. “A zing, huh? When I started feeling too much, I thought it was best just to walk away. But somehow you slipped in there. Just like those gnomes, in one day, you just changed my life.”

  “Now what?” I asked.

  “I guess we just see what happens,” Ty replied. “Without anyone trying to kill you.”

  “Probably a good idea.” My heart lurched, forgetting the most important thing. “The boys. What about the boys?” What if he didn’t want to take on someone else’s kids? It’s one thing to be in love with a woman, it’s another to take on all her baggage, too.

  Ty grinned. “You have to know how much they mean to me. The question is, what do you think they’ll say?”

  Good question. I turned my head and saw George the Gnome and his friend staring at us again. Now their evil grins looked like smiles. Happy smiles. Maybe they weren’t so bad after all.

  “If you bring the gnomes to the airport when we pick them up, you’ll probably be set for life.”

  “Done. Oh, Goldie called your mom to tell her what happened.”

  I nodded. “She told me. I’m glad because I don’t want to go over all that again with my mom. At least right now.”

  “What you don’t know is that your mom called me.”

  “Huh?”

  “I guess she believed Goldie but wanted confirmation from someone else. Don’t worry, I eased her mind and told her you’d call her later.” He ran his fingers across my cheek. “I spoke with the boys, too. They’re fine. Zach asked me a funny question though.”

  Ty smiled.

  I melted. “Oh?”

  “He wanted to know if I was giving you field hockey lessons.” He eyed me suspiciously. “Do you have any idea why he said that?”

  I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks. Looked at the gnomes again before looking into Ty’s eyes. Smiled. “Maybe I have to give you lessons instead.” My hand slid down his body to grab hold of his stick. “Starting now.”

  About the Author

  Jennifer Zane has lived all over the country including an exciting five years in Montana. She is the contemporary blog diva for RomCon. She currently lives with her family in Colorado. This is her first novel.

  Connect with Jennifer:

  On the Web: http://www.jenniferzane.com

  On Facebook

  Twitter: @JenniferZane

  Enjoy the following excerpt for Karen Docter's SATIN PLEASURES…

  Chapter One

  "Colby, if I'd had that brunette in my bass boat instead of you Aunt Mary would never have talked me off the lake." Dan McDonald tore his gaze away from the view in the truck windshield to grin at his dog, affectionately named Colby, after the cheese the German shepherd loved so much. "Bet she doesn't kiss like you...the brunette, I mean, not Aunt Mary."

  The dog whined, then attempted to wriggle his massive bulk into his master's lap. Dan pushed his muzzle away. "Phew! Chances are she doesn't smell like you, either."

  Colby bared his teeth.

  Dan laughed. "You won't think it's so funny when we reach San Francisco and you get a bath." He considered the stalled traffic. "That's assuming we get across the bay."

  A fully loaded semi had jackknifed across both lanes of the westbound bridge and wedged in tighter than a cork in a genie's bottle. The truck was to be dismantled for removal, the freight unloaded, and there appeared to b
e a debate as to which part of the process should be completed first.

  He smiled at the speed the shock wave of information ran down the line of commuters. Many spilled from their cars to chat. A few lounged on their hoods, faces raised to the warm March afternoon sun. A pair of students in Stanford jerseys zipped a fluorescent orange Frisbee between the cars with all the ferocity of Kamikaze pilots.

  Dan shook his head when he realized he'd pushed his old life behind him far enough to find amusement in the scene. He'd come a long way in the past year. Was it far enough? He'd been happy – well, content enough – with his solitary lifestyle...until his aunt tracked him down in Florida a couple of weeks ago.

  She'd convinced him she and his mother needed him in California through June. However, he'd had three thousand miles to wonder if his temporary return to the rat race might prove to be the biggest mistake of his life. His impulse to turn the truck around had grown with each passing mile and he wondered if this traffic snarl was his last chance to save himself.

  He certainly couldn't complain about his first glimpse of San FranciscoBay. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The sun stirred bright color into the murky waves and streaked light across mirrored office buildings on the opposite shoreline. A light, salty breeze gave wing to a variety of raucous sea birds over his head and teased long tendrils of toffee-rich hair out of his brunette's French twist.

  His brunette.

  Desire coiled deep in his belly as he watched her lean against the front fender of her car. She talked briskly into her phone, her expression hidden behind sunglasses. The straight lemon skirt and fitted jacket she wore accentuated her rich, dark hair, full breasts, and slender waist. Spiked heels showcased legs long enough to fuel a man's fantasies for months. Her hand waving in emphasis to whatever point she was making spoke to Dan of urgent caresses and wild passion.

  The blend of cool professionalism and hot sensuality fostered the illusion a man only had to peel one layer to expose the passionate woman beneath. He'd never seen a woman who made him feel so needy, so primitive, with barely one look...which is why he hadn't bothered to pursue a woman since Charlotte Betham opted for her career over him last year. If Charlotte had turned his crank this way, he might have made an effort to change her mind!

  Only a caveman would dream of ripping the phone from his lady's hand. Only a cretin would throw it into the bay before he dragged her away to his cave for a year or two. Only a sex-starved man would allow such idiotic impulses to get out of hand.

  "Maybe Aunt Mary dragged us back to civilization just in time." Dan scratched his dog's ears. "Remind me to go out on a date or two while we’re here, will you? Just to take the edge off."

  Colby barked, and then rested his muzzle on the dashboard, pointing the way.

  "No, it won't be with my sexy brunette."

  The last thing Dan needed in his life was an career-focused woman to tempt him back to the competitive edge like the one he’d been riding in Chicago. He'd leaped off that fast track without a backward glance – nearly dying did have a way of adjusting a man’s perspective, after all – but he could still spot a workaholic when he saw one. He'd lived with one all his life. First, his father. More recently, himself. And since he didn't know yet if he'd beaten that particular inclination, once and for all, he wasn't taking any chances.

  The odd thing about chance, though, was the way it tended to come up and slap him when he wasn't looking. Dan stared with consternation at the bright orange saucer veering out of control across his vision, aimed directly for his brunette. "Watch out!"

  He jumped from the truck in time to see the rigid plastic disc slam into her right cheek, angle over her head and disappear over the bridge railing into the bay. Her cell sailed right behind it.

  Dan sprinted in her direction but she’d slumped to the pavement, her back against the wheel well of her car, before he could reach her. Kneeling beside her, he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you all right?"

  She didn't respond.

  "I didn't mean to hit her!" The Frisbee thrower squatted next to Dan and watched him remove her cracked sunglasses. "Oh, man, she's out cold."

  Dan clamped a lid on his own spike of concern and thrust both hands into the woman's silky twist of hair. In the time it took him to run from his truck he'd seen her stagger from the blow to her face, fall against the side mirror, and then ram her head against the doorjamb. So, it came as no surprise when he located a sizable lump over her left ear.

  He examined the welt rising on cheekbone, his curse short, succinct. Her head cradled in his hands, he brushed his thumbs against her temples. "Can you hear me?"

  The woman’s eyelids fluttered, lifted. "W-What happened? H-Harry? Where's Harry?"

  Who the devil was Harry? Dan gazed into cinnamon brown eyes, fogged with confusion, and experienced a surprising surge of possessiveness. He couldn't drag his hands away from her fast enough. "If Harry's the one on your phone, I believe he's now conferencing with the sharks."

  "Oh. Oh! He'll kill me!" She shifted, wrinkled her nose in obvious bewilderment at the sight of her legs stretched in front of her. "Why am I sitting on the ground?"

  The student piped in. "My Frisbee hit you. You fell."

  "Frisbee? Fell?"

  Dan frowned. A concussion wasn't out of the question. Although her pupils didn't appear unequal or dilated, there was a large goose egg behind her ear and a welt across her cheek that grew more red and ugly by the minute. He searched his brain for the standard questions used on concussion victims. "What's your name, and who's the President?"

  "Tess Emory, and Stuart Webster."

  "One out of two isn't bad." For all he knew, Tess Emory wasn't her name either.

  "Oh, man, she doesn't even know—"

  Dan glared the student into silence, motioning the kid to her other side so they could both help her to her feet. "Which is which?" he asked, aware he needed to keep her talking.

  "I'm Tess." She wobbled atop her spiked heels. "The president's Webster."

  Dan quickly calculated the distance to the camper in the back of his truck. "I think we have a problem. Webster is not President of the United States."

  Her eyes widened. "Oh. Wait. I thought you meant the president of my company!" She assured him she did indeed know her country's president. "Now I know two presidents' names and my own, but I don't know your names."

  The student introduced himself and apologized for her injuries. He wanted to share his doctor's phone number but, when she refused his assistance, he shrugged and walked off to rejoin his buddy sitting on the hood of their car.

  Which left Dan where he shouldn't be now that the danger had passed...overwhelmed by the appeal of toffee hair, cinnamon eyes, and spicy scent. Gasping for air like a wide-mouth bass in the bottom of his boat. Alone...with his brunette.

  Enjoy the following excerpt for Cynthia Woolf's CENTAURI MIDNIGHT:

  “Audra, please. You’re my queen but you’re also my friend. You must grant me this last request. Let me go after him.” Tensign Kiti Dolana paced the beautiful sitting room. Bile rose in her throat threatened to strangle her. Finally, she collapsed into a chair it’s soft cushions swallowing her as she sat across the small, highly polished and gleaming, coffee table from the Queen of Centauri, her friend.

  The Queen, pregnant with triplets, her beautifully distended tummy disallowing much frivolous movement, reclined on the couch. She sat up to pour the tea but had trouble reaching the tea pot in the middle of the coffee table. “Kiti would you pour our tea, I’m a bit like a beached whale right now.” Audra was anything but a beached whale. Kiti knew the colloquial term from her study of Earth.

  Her queen was radiant. Her long, chestnut hair falling in waves to her waist was gathered on one side of her head. Her clear gray eyes shone bright in her pale face. She wore a beautiful royal purple empire waisted dress that highlighted her pale features. She was beautiful. Kiti remembered a time, on their way back to Centauri from Earth, when she’d not thought s
o, because she was jealous.

  That was before Audra’s marriage to Darius and when she’d still be betrothed to Anton. Kiti had been in love with Anton, at least she thought she was, and was jealous of Audra. Some of the things she said were unkind, but Audra had seen them for what they were, jealousy and forgiven her the words. They were now the best of friends.

  Kiti poured the tea and continued to beseech her queen. “Audra, you have to let me go after him. He killed my brother Joridan, his actions led to Anton being captured and tortured. I need to see they get justice, they deserve it.”

  “And you are sure it is only justice you seek?” Audra softly asked.

  “Damn it, Audra.” Kiti was up and pacing the room again. Her long black hair was tied in a high pony tail and swung back and forth with each step she took. The thick, plush carpet kept her boots from clicking on the floor. “I’m begging you to let me go with Garrick Marcus. It’s not just revenge I need. I need closure. I’m the one who should deliver Tybold to the authorities. Garrick Marcus is the best captain in the fleet and I know Darius is sending him after Tybold. Joridan needs us both to avenge his death. To bring his murderer back to Centauri for justice to be served.”

  “Kiti, are you combat trained? We don’t know what to expect from the Proconians. By this time, Tybold could have convinced them we are conquerors and he’s their only salvation. We don’t know. It could be a suicide mission. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” She went on. “I know you’re grieving. Joridan’s loss and Lara’s return has been very hard on you.”

  “Stop.” Kiti jumped up and started to pace again. “I know what my life has been like. I mourn the loss of Joridan life and Anton’s capture and torture by Slavarien. Joridan was my little brother. Even though he was a head taller than me he will always be my little brother. I still smell Joridan’s scent in his room. Sometimes it’s so fresh it’s like he just passed by.” Her eyes filled with tears, “I miss the closeness that Anton and I once shared but I do not bemoan him finding Lara. I’m very happy he found his lifemate. It was something he never thought to be able to do. After the torture that both Anton and Lara suffered at the hands of the Slavariens, it’s amazing that they found each other. I wish I had a lifemate out there somewhere.