Jasper had sent Annabelle over to help me with plans for the playroom. Our plan was to put a door between the nursery and playroom, so that while Alice, or even Daniel, were playing, Lowell could sleep quietly. We decided on a soft yellow for the room. Annabelle warned me that it could end up very bright, but I didn’t mind. I wanted the room to be fun and inviting.
Annabelle also brought samples of wallpaper to create a playful border. I chose one by the same artist that did the wallpaper in Lowell’s room. This strip showed circus animals. I thought it was perfect for the playroom.
“Perfect, I’ll get this ordered, then,” Annabelle said. “Do you know what sort of things you want to put in the room?”
“Toys?” I asked.
“I thought we could move the rocking horse in there, since Lowell is still too young to use it,” Annabelle said. “Some stuffed animals and dolls, also. And some books.”
“Oh, yes,” I said. “I definitely want books in there.”
“I’ll get those ordered as well,” she said, scribbling a few more things at the bottom of her list. “It might be a few weeks. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all,” I said. “Lowell isn’t doing too much playing right now anyway.”
He was trying, though. He was able to reach up and grab things, and could even hold his head up for short periods of time. My favorite part of the day was in the afternoon, after lunch, when I got a chance to play with him.
His personality was beginning to show through. He loved to be tickled, and he was always smiling. He would giggle when I booped him on the nose with a stuffed caterpillar. His favorite toy seemed to be a small, white wolf that looked an awful lot like Jasper in wolf form. Whenever I put it in front of Lowell, he would reach out, trying to grab it. If he was successful, he would clutch the fur tightly. It was precious.
Sometimes I would sit in the rocking chair with him, reading storybooks. He always listened, but of course, he didn’t understand any of it. Most of the time, he would watch my face instead of looking at the pictures. I didn’t mind. The adoration in his eyes made it all worthwhile.
Often times, in the afternoon, Annabelle would bring Daniel over. He and Alice loved to play together, screeching at each other in their baby babble. Alice had only just begun to walk, so she was still quite unsteady, but that didn’t stop her from running around, trying to keep up with her new friend. While they played, Annabelle, Ingrid, and I would sit and chat while I held or fed Lowell. It was one of the most relaxing parts of my day. I loved that I could have time to socialize with other mothers, instead of spending all my time with an infant that couldn’t talk back. It greatly helped me keep my sanity, and Annabelle and Ingrid were wonderful company.
I had gotten to know Ingrid well. She was a few years older than me, but she was even newer to the life of a werewolf wife than I was. When Seth kidnapped me, Jasper and his councilmen battled Seth and his men. Christoph had been caught in the crossfire, so to speak, and Conor had to turn him in order to save his life. During our afternoons, Ingrid would ask me questions about the wolves, and I would answer them to the best of my ability, Annabelle filling in anything I was missing.
Despite the rest I was getting, I still wasn’t sleeping well. My nights were plagued by nightmares. I was much better rested than I had been in months, but it was still taking a toll.
The nightmares hadn’t changed. I was always lost, always trying to find my way, and always discovered Seth killing my baby. I knew it was bad for my health to be waking up, panicked every night. My heart was always racing and my breath short. I would roll over and curl up around the baby. Most of the time he had woken up, but sometimes he stayed asleep. Those nights I would wrap myself around him and stay up for hours and hours, just staring at his peaceful face. I was scared that I would lose him somehow, and scared that if I fell back to sleep I would fall right back into my nightmare.
One afternoon as I sat with Ingrid, she broached the subject.
“You’re still not sleeping well, are you, my lady?”
“How can you tell?” I adjusted Lowell on my chest, and he grasped at my skin.
“You still have bags under your eyes,” she said, “and I can hear your screams sometimes.”
My face flushed. “I’m so sorry.”
“No, please, do not apologize,” she said. “I’m only concerned about you.”
“Thank you,” I told her.
“Do you have nightmares?”
“Terrible ones,” I told her.
“About Seth?” When Christoph had been turned, he’d had to explain to Ingrid what had happened. She was furious, of course, that he would work for such a nefarious man to keep his family safe. She chastised him for keeping the secret. Things seemed to be better now, but although she had never met Seth, she was still terrified of him.
“Yes,” I sighed.
She nodded. “Have you tried anything to help you sleep?” she asked.
“It’s not falling asleep that’s the problem,” I said. “It’s that I wake up with the nightmares.”
She thought about it. “Do you seem to wake at a certain time?”
I looked at her with surprise. “Yes. It’s always sometime around four.”
“May I make a suggestion?”
I shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”
“Perhaps I could come wake you up at about fifteen minutes to four,” she said. “Just before the nightmare starts. Then you don’t wake the baby up, and you can avoid the nightmare.”
“You think that will help?”
“I do,” she said. “Of course, you could always try a sleeping draught.”
I looked down at Lowell, who had just begun to close his eyes. “I don’t want to do that with the baby next to me.”
“That’s what I suspected you’d say,” she said, “and I don’t fault you for that at all.”
We came to an agreement that she would come to wake me at 3:45 a.m. each morning. I left the door unlocked. The first night, I felt the nightmare beginning. I was in the woods, barefoot again, wandering around. I hadn’t even gotten to the first sign of Seth when Ingrid shook me awake.
“Miss Christine?” she whispered.
“Perfect timing,” I told her as my eyes fluttered open. She beamed back at me.
We tried it for several nights in a row, and the results were the same. I never quite fell into a deep enough sleep for the nightmares to reach their conclusion. I felt bad for Ingrid, having to wake up so she could wake me, but she claimed she didn’t mind. Even so, I had her switching off with Bridget so as to avoid either of them becoming worn out.
A few days after, Jasper finally returned from his trip to London. I was sitting in the nursery with Annabelle and Ingrid when I heard the carriage pull up. I raced to the hallway, and from the top of the stairs I could see out the front windows, right where the carriage had come to a stop.
“Daddy’s home!” I said to Lowell excitedly. He had no idea what I was saying, but he smiled and his eyes became wide.
I carried him down the stairs so we could greet Jasper at the door.
“Oh, I missed you!” he said, engulfing the both of us in a hug.
“We missed you too,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. He reached over and took Lowell from my arms, holding the baby out in front of him.
“Look how big you’ve gotten!” he exclaimed.
“You’ve only been gone just over a week!” I laughed.
“Still, I swear he’s grown twice as big,” Jasper said, pulling Lowell to his chest.
“Not even close.”
“Must you argue?” he said, pretending to scold me. He kissed the top of Lowell’s head. “I’ve missed you so much, my boy.”
Mr. Potter carried Jasper’s trunk in, and we stepped away from the door.
“How was your trip?” I asked Jasper.
“It was too long.”
“But things went well?”
He rolled his eyes. “Edward wanted to talk dr
ivel, as always. I did have to let him know that I would be unable to be at his beck and call while we’re at Seth’s trial.”
“How did he take that?” I asked.
“Not happily. Still, he’s under the elders’ power just as much as I am.”
We moved into the dining room; it was just about time for dinner. Jasper continued to hold onto Lowell, not wanting to let him go. I didn’t mind. I was just happy our family was together again.
“So, I’ve been thinking,” Jasper said.
“Always dangerous,” I teased.
He put a hand over mine. “What would you say if I took you out tomorrow night?”
“Took me out?”
“Just the two of us. Dinner, perhaps a stroll by the lake. That is, if Ingrid doesn’t mind watching Lowell.”
I grinned. “I would love that,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead.
“I thought perhaps we could use a bit of a break before we head to Sweden,” he said. “I hoped this would be a nice respite.”
I quieted. Certainly, it would be nice to spend time with my husband after he had been gone, but why did he have to bring up our trip to see the elders? It seemed to cast a dark cloud over everything, making my chest tighten and my stomach turn to knots.
Still, I tried not to let it show that I was bothered.
“That sounds wonderful,” I said, swallowing my nerves.
Chapter Eight
Having Jasper back at home was wonderful. Waking up next to him was wonderful, having breakfast with him was wonderful, and spending the day with him was wonderful. I had been so absorbed with Lowell while Jasper was gone, I hadn’t even given myself much of a chance to miss my husband. Now that he was home, I never wanted him to leave. We even gave Ingrid the day off so Jasper and I could spend time with Lowell as a family. Of course, Ingrid would be watching Lowell later tonight so Jasper and I could go to dinner, something she was more than happy to do.
That evening, after I had gotten Lowell down for a nap, Bridget helped me get ready for my dinner. It was my first time going out since having the baby, and I wanted to look as fantastic as possible. I chose a stunning dark blue dress that would complement the antique sapphire necklace he had given me for Christmas. The necklace, as well as my matching engagement ring, had belonged to Jasper’s mother. I didn’t remember her at all, but I wanted to do her jewelry justice. The necklace was one of the most stunning pieces I had, and I knew Jasper would be thrilled that I was wearing it tonight.
After Bridget helped me into the dress and fastened the necklace around my neck, she helped me with my hair. I sat still as she ran a brush through my dark strands. My hair almost reached my hips, falling in waves over my shoulders. Bridget worked carefully, brushing out the snarls before pinning it up behind my head. She always managed to make me look like such a lady when she did my hair for me. Before I came to Wolf’s Peak, I would simply braid it or pull it back, whatever would be easiest to allow me to focus on caring for my sick father.
“Would you like a bit of rouge, ma’am?” Bridget asked me.
I peered at my reflection. I didn’t look nearly as tired as I did a few nights ago, but my face was still a bit drawn from the winter months.
“As long as you’re not too heavy–handed, I think that would be wonderful.”
Bridget rolled her eyes. “I won’t make you look like a lady of the night,” she said.
Again, I sat still as Bridget worked her magic.
“Are you nervous for tonight?” she asked as she gently applied some color to my cheeks.
“Nervous? Why on earth should I be nervous?”
“I just thought you might be nervous, leaving Lowell alone for the first time.”
“Well, I wasn’t until you just said it!” I said, my heart beginning to race. She was right. This was going to be my first time leaving my son.
It was going to be fine. It had to be fine. I wanted this night with my husband to be free of worry.
“I’m sorry,” Bridget said guiltily. “I didn’t mean to stress you. You look lovely.”
She stepped away, and again I regarded myself in the mirror. She really had a wonderful hand with cosmetics. I didn’t look like a sleepless, nightmare–riddled new mother.
“Thank you, dear,” I said, giving her a hug. It felt nice to get all dolled up. I hadn’t felt this pretty since Christmas.
Bridget helped me tie up a pair of shoes, and when we were done I stopped by the nursery. Lowell was still sleeping peacefully, his head turned to the side in his crib. I leaned down and gave him a kiss, gentle enough so that he wouldn’t wake. Knots twisted in my stomach as I thought about leaving him, but I tried to push my worry aside.
I found Ingrid in the kitchen and I let her know that we were getting ready to leave.
“There’s expressed milk in the kitchen here,” I told her, “in case he gets hungry. He’s still sleeping, but I would expect that he’ll wake in an hour or so. Perhaps less. Oh, are you sure you’ll be all right?”
She put a hand on my arm. “Please, don’t worry, my lady,” she said. “I promise, we’ll be just fine.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath. Ingrid gently pushed on my back.
“Go, my lady, enjoy yourself,” she encouraged me. “We’ll be here when you get back.”
Jasper appeared in the doorway, dapperly dressed in his suit coat and hat. He extended a gloved hand to me.
“Are you ready, my darling?” he asked.
“Yes, my love,” I said, but I was still nervous. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took his hand, allowing him to pull me out into the hallway. Jasper slipped an arm around my waist, hugging me close as we walked together to the entry. Mr. Potter held the door for us, and Jasper helped me up into the carriage. I sat down on the plush velvet seat, and Jasper climbed up beside me.
“Are you all right?” Jasper asked after I glanced back at the house for what had to be the dozenth time.
I nodded. “I’m just a bit nervous about leaving Lowell behind.”
He pulled me under his arm and kissed the top of my head. “He’s going to be just fine. He was still asleep when we left, right?”
“Right,” I confirmed.
“He’ll probably sleep most of the time we’re gone,” he said. “He’s going to be all right.”
“I know, I know. I’m only nervous because it’s my first time away from him. It had to happen eventually.” Even as I said the words and knew they were true, I blinked tears from my eyes. So silly. He would be fine. He would.
Jasper and I didn’t usually spend much time in Weylyn. If we needed something, we would send someone else for it. Every so often Annabelle and I went into town to shop, but the village was small and there wasn’t much in it. Most of my clothes and things were ordered from Paris or London, although Weylyn did have a lovely little children’s store as well as a beautiful jewelry shop.
The carriage came to a stop in front of a restaurant. The only place I had eaten here was a rustic pub Annabelle liked to frequent, so I had no idea what to expect. Jasper helped me out of the carriage and we stepped inside.
The restaurant was small, but the tall ceilings made it feel spacious. The room had floor–to–ceiling arched windows looking out onto the streets, and candles glowed on the shiny mahogany tables. A bar in the center of the room was piled with sparkling wine glasses. The red walls and gold accents made the whole interior both glamorous and intimate.
The maître d’ met us at the front. The moment he saw Jasper he bowed. Upon standing, he took two bound leather menus and escorted us to the back of the room. There were very few people in the restaurant, lending to the atmosphere of intimacy. We were seated on plush chairs in the back corner, a lit candelabra glowing in the center of the table. He handed us the menus and promised to be back with two glasses of wine.
“This is lovely,” I said, looking around the room. “I had no idea this was here.”
“The food is fantastic,
” Jasper said. “Any ideas what you want?”
“Well, nothing from the sea,” I said, eyeing him. We had discovered I was pregnant after I threw up a stomach full of clams.
“For the last time, it wasn’t the clams that made you sick,” he said, laughing.
“Blame it on the clams or not, I don’t care,” I said. “But after throwing them up, I don’t think I’ll ever want to eat that again.”
“Fair enough,” he sighed. “You really ought to try the chicken. It’s spit–roasted over an open flame, and the seasoning is exquisite.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” I said. “I’ll give you another chance after the clam debacle.”
He rolled his eyes playfully. Our waiter came back and dropped off glasses of deep reddish–purple wine and took our orders. I ordered the chicken like I promised, and, true to Jasper’s word, it was delicious.
“I admit it, you’re right,” I said. “This is fantastic.”
“So you’ll take me at my word from now on?”
“I wouldn’t go that far.” I laughed.
Jasper reached out his hand to clasp mine. “Oh, I have missed you, my dear.”
“I’ve missed you as well. I wish you didn’t have to leave so often.”
“The life of a duke,” he sighed.
“I wish you could just tell the prince to stuff it.”
He chuckled. “I’ve thought about it a few times. Held my tongue to keep the peace, though.”
“I suppose that’s for the best.”
“I suppose.”
He grinned at me. I loved his smile. Because he lost and regrew his teeth every time he shifted, his teeth were a brilliant white. When he was truly happy, as he was now, his smile was spread wide and his eyes crinkled at the corners. His grin was infectious, and it made me happy.
“May I say something?” I asked.
“Of course, my darling.”
“I know that things were very rough at first,” I said. Really, that was a massive understatement. I had scarcely known him before we’d wed, and because of his schedule, I rarely saw him. It had taken a while for us to click, and then once we had I’d discovered the secrets he’d been keeping from me. Then he’d gone to the ends of the earth to save me. “But now, I can’t imagine my life without you. I never want to let you go.”
The Wolf's Cub (The Wolf's Peak Saga Book 3) Page 6