Truth or Death

by Sara C. Roethle

  I blinked at him. “I am Yggdrasil.”

  I was pretty sure that was the first time I’d ever seen true surprise in Marcos’ expression. “That cannot be true. Yggdrasil is not a sentient being.”

  I felt the corners of my lips tug up into a coy smile. “No, but my new creator is. Her magic is mine, and my magic is hers. Therefore, we are one. Her thoughts give my power action.”

  Listening to the conversation, Sophie took a step forward. Her black hair fluttered with a sudden gust of wind, carrying yellow leaves around her boots. “So Madeline is still in there?”

  I looked to her. I sure didn’t feel like I was. “She is here,” I said, “but she is filled with fear. Fear of loss, fear of failure. So I must act in her stead.”

  Aila furrowed her brow. She clutched Sleipnir’s reins like they were a lifeline. “To what end?”

  “To my creator’s end,” I said. “Her will is mine. She is free to act as she pleases. I have simply strengthened her shell to hold my vast power.”

  This was all news to me. I shook my head, and my head actually shook. The new magic inside me was so overwhelming, I’d just assumed I’d had no control. There was no way I could have control over so much. It was terrifying.

  Marcos steepled his fingers in front of his face and smiled. “My dear Madeline, when will you learn to stop letting your fear get the better of you?”

  My jaw dropped. That was exactly it. I’d been so afraid, I hadn’t tried to control Yggdrasil’s influence. I shook my head. “Fear is healthy, it keeps you alive.”

  Marcos stepped toward me. “It also prevents you from becoming what you are truly meant to be. You were never meant to be like any of us. You are the pure energy of life and death reincarnated. Yet, you cling to your mortal shell as if you actually belong.”

  “I do belong,” I argued, but it sounded weak, even to my own ears.

  His smile faded. “Do what needs doing, Madeline. Save us all.”

  Sophie looked unsure. “Just what are you asking her to do?”

  Marcos kept his gaze on me. “To embrace her true power and save the world.”

  My throat went dry. “No pressure or anything.”

  I’d meant it as a joke, but no one laughed.

  Aila was looking at Marcos. “What will happen to her if she does?”

  “She will become a goddess, as she was always meant to be. She was only born into this mortal coil because the bridge between words was destroyed. Her energy was trapped here, and had to continue existing in some way.”

  I stepped back. My instincts willed me to run away, but the magic within me had begun to settle, like it was already a part of me. It wasn’t something I could run from.

  “I’ll do it,” I said.

  Sophie and Aila whipped their gazes toward me.

  “If I can become a—” I hesitated, finding the idea utterly absurd, “a goddess,” I finished, “then maybe I can actually defeat Odin. It’s the only way to keep Erykah safe.”

  Sophie sealed her lips into a tight line, then after a moment of thought, nodded. “So be it, but if Alaric asks, I tried to stop you.”

  Aila loosened her grip on Sleipnir’s reins. “If Mikael asks, we were powerless against you.”

  Marcos tilted his head like a bird. “You are powerless against her.”

  I inhaled deeply, then let it out. “Let’s get on with it. Odin has to know what’s happening by now. We need to be ready when he comes for us.”

  Alaric

  Alaric limped toward the gates of Hel. He was bruised and bloody, but he was alive. Somehow the Viking walking confidently at his side had fared better than him. If he had the energy, he would have been annoyed.

  They reached Freyja as she sat up, the right side of her body covered in fine, bone-white powder. She lifted a hand toward them. “Help me through the gates. We must move quickly. Faas will not know what to do if Hel reaches him before us.”

  Unease rippled through him, but at least Faas and Erykah had made it through the gates. It had to be better than out here.

  He leaned heavily on his right leg, since his left had taken a heavy blow from the cobra’s tail, then offered a hand to Freyja.

  She stood like she needed the help, leaning heavily on him. Together they limped toward the ominous, shadowed gates, with Mikael watching their backs. Slowly, the gates began to close.

  “Go!” Freyja shouted. “Leave me, I will be fine!”

  Alaric gritted his teeth and dragged her along. “We need you to convince Hel to help us!”

  Freyja pushed away from him, landing hard on the powdery earth. “Get this idiot through the gates!” she shouted to Mikael.

  Alaric huffed in irritation, then ran as best he could toward the gates, not fancying the idea of being thrown across Mikael’s shoulder.

  The gates continued to slowly close ahead of him. Just as he neared them, the opening was almost too small to fit through. Mikael shoved his back, hard, and they both went toppling into the shadows.

  Alaric sat up, his spine snapping straight as the gates clanged shut behind them. Goosebumps crept up his arms.

  Mikael stood, then looked around. “It feels like death in here.”

  Alaric climbed to his feet. He didn’t see Faas anywhere. “And just what does death feel like?”

  Deep shadows sunk into the grim lines of Mikael’s expression. “Like darkness and despair.”

  Shaking his head, Alaric started walking. “Maddy would not appreciate that likening.”

  Mikael caught up to his side. “Maddy is not a pure death goddess.”

  “No, she’s not. Where is Faas?”

  Mikael glanced around warily as they walked. “Where is anything? There’s nothing here but barren earth.”

  He wasn’t quite right. Alaric could hear running water somewhere far ahead. He imagined if Faas had noticed it, he would have gone toward it. Anything was better than remaining in this shadowy near darkness, where your voice seemed to echo almost as loudly as your thoughts.

  He walked in the direction of the water, with Mikael following shortly behind him. Maybe they should have taken the time to drag Freyja inside. Her knowledge could mean the difference between reaching Hel’s domain, or eventually starving to death in the darkness.

  “Water?” Mikael asked as they walked.

  “Yes,” Alaric said simply.

  “You could have explained yourself. Not all of us have kitty cat ears.”

  He sighed. “They’re not kitty cat ears. Do you always have to be so utterly insufferable?”

  They walked on in silence until they reached a small stream running through the dry earth. No plants grew at its borders, and no fish seemed to swim within, though it was difficult to tell in the minimal light.

  Alaric knelt down and stuck his hand in the water.

  Mikael hovered over his back. “Are you sure you should be doing that?”

  Alaric shook his head. The clouds above shifted, bathing the stream in a wash of moonlight. So on this side of the gates there was a moon and little ambient light, and just the opposite on the other? The water around his hand glittered with vibrant blue light, illuminating what seemed to be an endless depth.

  He leaned in closer. “This stream has no bottom.”

  Mikael crouched at his side. “Curious, but not helpful. I don’t see Faas’ bootprints anywhere near here. He may not have heard the water and went another way entirely.”

  Alaric shook his head. “He was only a few minutes ahead of us. I’m not sure why he’d wander off at all.”

  “Do you think Hel found him?”

  Alaric stood and turned away from the stream, flicking droplets of cool water from his hand. “Or something else.” He should have stayed with Erykah. He couldn’t trust Faas to protect her, not when faced with the goddess of the underworld.

  “Um, Alaric.” Mikael pointed behind him.

  He turned, then stepped back. The water swelled upward, shimmering with internal light. It continued to
swell, soon forming the shape of a woman.

  She tilted her head, her strands of hair seeming to trickle down like raindrops on tall thin blades of grass. “Why, you’re not dead, are you?”

  “Not quite,” Mikael answered. “Are you Hel?”

  The watery form seemed to shiver. “The goddess does not speak to the living. Not anymore. How did you come to be in this place? You are not gods.”

  Alaric put a hand on Mikael’s arm before he could speak further. “Have you seen a man and a baby girl? They came through the gates as well. They might have come this way.”

  The watery form shivered again, almost as if she were having trouble maintaining her form. “The child was no ordinary child. She was sent to the goddess. The man,” she looked Alaric up and down, “like you, no ordinary man, was sent to the abyss.”

  “Well that doesn’t sound good,” Mikael muttered.

  “The child,” Alaric demanded. “How do we reach her?”

  “You don’t. No living mortals may leave this place, only gods, and the dead. Become one of those, and perhaps I can help you.”

  Mikael scoffed. “There will be no helping us if we’re dead. Stop speaking in riddles and tell us how to reach Hel.”

  The form quaked, losing much of its definition. “The only way in is down, and that way is only for gods, and the dead.” She burst into a dizzying display of shiny droplets, all plunging back down into the gently running stream.

  Alaric reflexively put out a hand to stop her, but all he got was a splash of water for his efforts.

  “What now—” Mikael began to ask, but Alaric had already made his decision.

  If the only way out was down, then that was where he had to go. He took a breath, plugged his nose, then jumped into the bottomless stream.

  I stepped back after releasing another root, the second to last one. Power coursed through me, then seemed to settle in my core. It worried me that Odin hadn’t come to stop us yet. Was I somehow playing right into his plan?

  Sophie stepped up beside me, arms crossed and back hunched. It was cold wherever we were, and the sky above the tall pines was heavy with the threat of rain, but I knew her posture had little to do with the cold.

  She looked at the latest severed root. “Just one left?”

  I mirrored her stance, feeling frightened and almost . . . guilty, even though I had Yggdrasil’s blessing to sever the roots. “Just one, but it’s the root to Asgard.”

  She didn’t quite meet my gaze. “Then what do we do now?”

  I shrugged. “I guess we go find Odin.”

  No, a voice breezed through my head.

  “No?” I questioned out loud.

  Sophie furrowed her brow. “What?”

  I shook my head, waiting for the voice to speak again.

  We must go to the Well of Urd. You will need it to defeat him.

  I shivered, remembering the last time I’d been at the well. Its wild magics had soaked into Erykah. If that wouldn’t have happened, maybe she wouldn’t have been quite so valuable to Odin, though I still would be. Maybe it was a good thing the well had amplified her magic. It had given him a reason to keep her alive.

  “Why do we have to go to the well?” I asked out loud so Sophie, and behind us, Aila and Marcos, could hear.

  You will need to take its magic inside of you to defeat Odin. He is the All Father. There is no other way.

  “And what about all the magic I’ve already taken? All of your magic?”

  You will give it to the dark one. He will contain it, preventing Odin from stealing it when you face him. The earth is both dark and light. You are too much of one thing. He is drawn to your side because the earth craves balance. He will aid you when the time is right.

  At first I wasn’t sure who Yggdrasil was talking about, but its final statement made things perfectly clear. I resisted the urge to look back at Marcos. Instead of speaking aloud for everyone to hear, I thought in my head, You want me to give power to him? He murdered the Norns. We have no idea what he would do with it.

  The voice was silent for a moment, then replied, There is no going back to right wrongs. The Norns were never meant to exist in those forms. They are a part of me. As are you. As an extension of Hecate, so is the one you call Marcos.

  “Great,” I sighed out loud. I turned to Marcos. “As the other side of the coin, you’re going to have to be part of this.”

  He lifted one slender white brow. “Meaning?”

  I pursed my lips, not liking the idea at all. “You’re going to have a bunch of power. Do you need to know any more than that?”

  He smiled. “No, I don’t need to know any more.”

  I crossed my arms and nodded sharply. Was he really drawn to me to be the balance to my magic? I’d always viewed my powers as death magic, but Marcos, he was practically death incarnate. A true necromancer, and only a necromancer. I, on the other hand, could give healing and life.

  Now you understand, Yggdrasil’s voice breathed through my head.

  Understand what? I thought.

  What you truly are. What the Morrigan was too before she became so twisted. Life and death must walk hand in hand.

  “I’m not holding Marcos’ hand,” I muttered, but I felt it as the voice left me.

  Sophie was giving me an odd look. “I’m not even going to ask what internal conversation you just had.”

  “It’s for the best.” I walked past her toward Aila and Sleipnir, then turned to face everyone. “Time is almost up.” I looked to Marcos. “Are you ready to take on the extra power? I don’t know what to expect when we reach Hillsboro. It’s better to do it here.”

  Marcos hurried over, obviously excited. Words could not describe the discomfort that gave me. Marcos was creepy, maybe in some ways, even evil, yet Yggdrasil was right, our paths kept intertwining, almost like we were meant to walk side-by-side from the start. I’d gotten so used to taking the lead, it might even be nice to share some of the burden. I’d just have to cross my fingers and hope Marcos didn’t trample me in the process.

  Marcos stood in front of me. “What do you need me to do?”

  It was a good question. I really wasn’t sure. I knew how to absorb and release energy, but this was different. I resisted the urge to look at Sophie, because she wasn’t going to like what I was about to say. “I think you need to take it from me. I don’t know how to give it. Drain my energy like you would someone on the brink of death.”

  Something dark and unnatural flickered in Marcos’ eyes, or maybe I was just being dramatic. “You would trust me to do that?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t really have a choice. Yggdrasil claims you’ll keep its power safe from Odin while I go to the Well of Urd.”

  “And you will absorb the well’s power?”

  I clutched my arms tightly around myself. “I think so. Yggdrasil said I’ll need its power and the well’s to defeat Odin.”

  “Why do this here?” Sophie interrupted. “Why not at the well?”

  My heart rate picked up at the thought of what was to come. “I think—” I hesitated. I wasn’t sure how I knew. Maybe I just knew Odin more than I liked to admit. “I think Odin will be waiting for me there. By now, he must have figured out what I’m doing. He won’t let me reach the well.”

  Sophie stormed toward us. “Then why relinquish Yggdrasil’s power just before you face him?”

  I dug my nails into the flesh of my arms beneath my flannel. “I can’t risk him taking the magic from me, and we have to do this now before he realizes my plan.” I looked to Marcos. “You’ll have to stay away until I can reach the well. Can you do that?”

  He nodded. “After you give me Yggdrasil’s energy, bring me to its trunk. I imagine I can use its power to travel the tree should Odin come for me?”

  I nodded. “If you need to, probably, but it would only take you back to Asgard at this point. I think—” I bit my tongue. Was I really going to trust him of all people with our fates?

  “Go on,”
he pressed.

  “I think that with Yggdrasil’s magic inside of you, you’ll know when I’ve absorbed the well. When that happens, release the magic into the earth and it will find me.”

  Sophie huffed. “You cannot trust him to do that. He will take the magic and run.”

  Marcos didn’t acknowledge her. His eyes were all for me. “Does Yggdrasil plan for us to survive this final moment?”

  I stepped back, surprised, because I hadn’t thought that far ahead. “You know, I don’t really know. Why do you ask?”

  “We each will spend brief moments with power akin to gods. You most of all, you will take in the magic of both Yggdrasil and the well to defeat Odin. If we are to be two sides of the coin, as you put it, life and death, will not our own energy be required? Will you steal my life when you take Yggdrasil’s magic?”

  My knees felt weak. “I’ll try not to?”

  He laughed. The sound seemed to echo through the trees. “I suppose if you are willing to make such a sacrifice, I cannot stand down.”

  “Do not expect us to believe you have such honor,” Sophie hissed.

  Finally, he turned toward her. “Madeline gave me freedom. I am in her debt until I can do the same.”

  “And you would risk your very being to grant it to her?” Aila asked.

  Marcos nodded. “I would. If not for her, surely I would be Hecate’s slave. That would have been a fate far worse than death, for death is no true ending.”

  I held up my hands. “Okay, let’s stop talking about death. If we’re going to do this, let’s do it before Odin shows up here and kills us all.” I lowered my hands and offered them to Marcos. “Take all of Yggdrasil’s energy, but leave me with my own. I’ll need it if I’m to reach the well.”

  He took my hands. Understanding seemed to pass between us. I’d always been afraid of Marcos, but suddenly that fear was gone. He might have been evil in some regards, but what was evil, really? Did I view him as evil because his energy was the pure energy of death?

  If I survived, I’d really have to give some thought to the giant gray area that had encompassed my entire existence since I was reclaimed by the Vaettir, what seemed like centuries ago.