by Jo Cattell
Shaking, Chloe touched her shoulder.
Gabbie turned and looked at her, her face bruised and cut by the accident.
“It’s not true. It can’t be!” Gabbie cried and held on to her, sobbing uncontrollably.
All Chloe could do was hold her and cry with her. “I’m so sorry.”
“How can he be gone? It doesn’t feel real, Chloe. They won’t even let me out for his funeral. I can’t even say goodbye— to him,” she sobbed.
“If you want, I will stay here with you that day. We can sit and cry together,” Chloe offered as she closed her eyes. This didn’t seem real.
“No, I want you to go. I want you to say goodbye to him for me,” Gabbie said as she looked at Chloe. Her eyes were black, blue, and swollen.
“I will,” Chloe agreed.
“We were talking. He was telling me how when we were done school, how we’re going to get engaged. He told me about Tabitha and I was mad, but he was so sorry, I forgave him. We were going to start over. How are we supposed to start over when he’s gone? I don’t even know what happened to the people we hit,” Gabbie said, putting her hand to her mouth. She laid back against the pillow and tried not to think about it.
Chloe sat down next to her and took her hand. “You hit Nick and Kevin. They are okay. I mean Kevin is. Just some cuts and bruises. I haven’t seen Nick yet. I thought it would be better to be with you. Don’t worry about it now. You need rest.”
“Oh, my God! Is he here? Chloe, go see him. I have my mom. I’ll be okay. I know he would want to see you,” Gabbie choked out as she tried to hold back her tears.
“Okay. I’ll be back, though. I’ll just go from room to room, checking on you both.” She tried to smile.
As she started to leave, Gabbie called to her. “Tell Nick I’m really sorry. We didn’t mean to hit him. I still don’t know what happened,” she said, trying to explain.
Chloe couldn’t answer her. She just nodded. She found Kevin in the waiting room.
He hugged her tightly,
“How did he die? Your mom just said he was pronounced at the scene. Do you know?” She could hardly get the words out, but she had to know.
“I saw him when they pulled me out. It looked like he was thrown from the car. Chloe, when we were in the car, I thought Nick was dying. I want you to know, either way, that he was thinking about you. He kept saying your name,” Kevin told her.
She sat down and tried to take everything in about the day. “Have you seen him yet?”
Kevin sat next to her and looked towards the door. “He was sleeping when I was in there. Mark is in there now. It could have been a lot worse. I think his leg is messed up, and he has a concussion. That was why they kept him. How’s Gabbie?”
“She’s lost. It doesn’t seem real to her yet. She didn’t know it was you guys they hit, and said she was sorry. I can’t believe this has happened.” She was in a daze. Like everything was moving slowly around her and she couldn’t move.
Mark came out and sat with them. “He’s still asleep. Listen, Chlo, Kevin and I are going to grab a bite to eat. You stay with him as long as you want.”
“Okay. When you’re ready to go, just tell me,” she said softly and went into the room. She stood silently by the door and she couldn’t tell how bad he was, just that he had cuts and bruises like Gabbie’s and Kevin’s. There were stitches above his left eyebrow. She walked quietly over to the bed and sat down next to him. She wanted to touch him but was afraid she might wake him. Gingerly, she touched his hand and he flinched. She slid her hand under his.
Chloe thought of Gabbie and Dave. They ‘d been together for almost three years, on and off. She‘d gotten bits and pieces of what happened with Dave and Tabitha, she knew that if he’d really cheated on her, they were probably fighting when the accident happened. Nick had sounded sober when she talked to him, so he was safe to drive. She’d almost lost him. If she had, there would’ve been no forgiving Gabbie or Dave. When Kevin had broken the news, she’d felt exactly the way she did when Millie died. She still felt that way; the whole tragedy had not hit her fully yet. She knew later in her room, alone in the dark, it would come full force.
Nick started to stir and then squeezed her hand.“Hey, beautiful.” His voice was just above a whisper, but it was music to her ears.
“How did you know it was me? It might have been your mom,” she questioned him playfully.
He turned his head to look at her, opening his eyes, and smiled. “I would know those hands anywhere. How long have you been here?”
“Just a few minutes. I was in with Gabbie. How are you?” she asked, kissing his hand.
“Better now that you’re here. No, really, I feel like I got hit by a car. Wait… I did.” He tried to joke, but in doing so, he hurt himself when he laughed a little. “I broke two ribs and messed up my leg. Did I get stitched on my head?”
“Yeah, right above your eye. You have a few cuts, too, but nothing bad.” Chloe touched his cheek.
“Don’t cry. I’m going to be okay,” he said softly, seeing the tears in her eyes.
“I know. I just can’t believe everything that has happened. I just keep thinking of Gabbie and thinking, ‘My God, that could have been you.’” She closed her eyes and tried to push the thought from her mind.
He pulled at her hand in an attempt to make her get up. When she did, he reached for her and she gently went into his arms. He stroked her soft hair and held her lightly. “I was scared, too. At one point, I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again. The doctor told my mom I should be home tomorrow. I’ll be out of school for a week. Did they tell you about Dave?”
Chloe sat up and dried her eyes. “Yeah, it just seems so strange. I’m going to go to school tomorrow and you all won’t be there. And then it will hit me; Dave is never coming back. He won’t be making anymore jokes. She’s so lost without him. They won’t let her go to the funeral. She begged me to go for her. I don’t know if I can. I don’t want to think about them now. I can’t—It’s too hard.”
Nick put his hand to her face and tried to swipe away her tears. “This isn’t what I wanted for tonight. I know how things have been for you and I wanted your birthday to be special.”
She smiled and laid her hand on his. “It’s okay. It really isn’t your fault. I just want you to be okay.”
“I’m okay, just a little banged up. When I get home, I promise I will make it up to you.” Nick held tightly to her hand. He pulled her lightly down next to him and held her until she had to leave.
* * * *
The day of the funeral, school was closed. Dave was a star athlete and loved by all, so the administrators felt it was better just to close the school for the day.
Tiffany walked up to Chloe and Nick. “I heard they had to sedate her today,” Tiffany said of Gabbie. She stood there so smug in her expensive dark suit.
“You sound surprised. I think you would’ve been the same way.” Chloe was shocked by her attitude.
Tiffany laughed at that. “He was just so stupid. I told them to just wait a little while longer, but Gabbie found out about him and Tab, so she stormed out. It’s her own fault.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s what they were thinking as they slammed into us,” Nick shot at her.
“Listen, you saw them that night. I even heard you tell him not to bother Chloe about it when she got home. They were fighting as usual before they got there, and if Gabbie had not seen him and Tab, he would still be alive. He should’ve come clean a long time ago. Poor Tabitha is devastated. Have some sympathy for her,” Tiffany explained as she shut her compact and looked at the two of them.
“Tabitha knew how Gabbie felt about him. That should have meant he was off-limits,” Chloe said softly. This was so unreal. Was she really making Tabitha the victim?
“If it were Nick who went for her? Christ, St. Chloe, you are so naïve. That’s what happened. Dave was pissed at Gab and went to someone else. So, in that situation, would you blame he
r or Nick for that, if it were you two?” Tiffany asked, obviously believing that men were to blame when they went after other women.
“First, it would never happen. Tabitha tried at Gabbie’s party and I turned her down. Second, as a friend, she should’ve said no,” Nick answered for Chloe.
The line had been drawn now, and the friendship between them all was gone.
“Whatever you say. It’s getting cold. Let’s just get this over with.” Tiffany turned on her heels and went into the funeral home.
The line was long. It took them about an hour but finally, they made it into the room that Dave laid in. There was a rumor that Gabbie had been allowed to come the night before to say goodbye, but if she had, Gabbie had not said anything.
Mr. Allen was there with the family. He got up and approached them as they got closer. He hugged Chloe first, and then Nick. “How are you doing, Son? You look a little pale.”
“I’m okay, Dad. I just really need to lie down when I get home. We’re just staying for this. God, this is just so unreal. I still can’t believe he’s gone.” Nick shook his head
“How is Gabbie? Have you talked to her today?” Mr. Allen asked Chloe as he took her hand.
“She’s trying to hold on. It is going to take a while,” Chloe answered and tried not to think about how bad she seemed to be earlier.
They were next to step up to the viewing and Chloe froze. It didn’t look like him. When Millie died, it looked like her, like she was sleeping. This was not Dave. He was in their school uniform, with his wrestling medals around his neck, as he lie there in the steel-gray coffin. She could see some of the cuts and bruising around his face. No matter how much makeup they had applied, it didn’t help. She wanted to turn away and pretend not to look at him, but she couldn’t.
“Dude, I’m going to miss your jokes.” Nick tried to say what he felt. “You were the first one to make me feel welcome when I first came here…”
Chloe took the rose she’d been holding and put in on his hand. His hand was icy cold and hard as she put her hand on top of his. “She wanted to be here, but they won’t let her. Gabbie wanted me to tell you she loved you and she always will,” she said softly and felt herself get choked up. “I wanted you to know that I loved you, too. You were a great friend and you will be missed.” She thought of Nick as she said this and if they had parted this way. “Thanks for just being Dave, we are going to miss you so much.” She felt Nick kiss her head and nodded. It was time to go.
Instead of going to the hospital, they went back to his house. Chloe helped him to the couch and took the crutches when he sat down. She got the painkillers and gave him one, and then went and made him lunch. When she finally sat down, he smiled at her.
“You’re going to make such a great wife someday. The way you take care of me in my condition, that’s why I love you so much,” he teased.
“I think the painkillers have gone to your head. You look a little better than you did before, but I think you overdid it by going today,” she said, seeing that the color was coming back to his face.
“Baby, I couldn’t let you go through that alone. He was my friend, too, and I had to say good-bye to him. Are you going up to see Gabbie later?”
“Yeah, I was thinking about it. I did talk to her mom and they were keeping her pretty sedated today. It may be better to wait until tomorrow. If it were me, would you be able to go on?” She wondered if he felt the same way she did.
“I don’t want to even think about that. Somehow, hopefully, Gabbie will be able to move on. I know she’s going to need you to be there for her for a while. Just don’t let it get to you too much. Although, I know how you think.” He reached for her hand.
Chloe went and sat on the floor next to him. She could tell the painkillers were starting to work. “Nick, don’t fight it, rest. I’ll be here.” She stroked his face lightly.
“Hmm, I think I will. So many things went through my mind that night. All I could think of was you,” he said softly, stroking her hair. When she kissed his hand, he smiled. He was in a fog. “You’re so beautiful. I don’t ever what to know what it would be like if I lost you. I want to marry you, my beautiful Chloe.”
“Nicholas, maybe someday we will. For now, just rest. Let the meds do their job and sleep.” She lightly kissed his cheek. She stroked his cheek with the back of her hand until his breath evened out and he was asleep.
* * * *
The following week, Chloe had rescheduled her appointment and sat in the cold room, waiting for the doctor to come in. She was nervous but had no clue why. When the doctor came in, Chloe was relived it was a woman. She felt funny having a guy for this sort of thing.
“Chloe Gardner?” the doctor said and smiled warmly. She was a tall woman, with short, light-brown hair. She was dressed in blue hospital scrubs and a lab coat. She looked over Chloe’s chart quickly and sat down.
“Yes, that would be me.” Chloe felt so vulnerable in the paper gown she wore and nothing was going to take away the nervousness of what she came here for.
“I’m Dr. King. Is this your first visit to a gyn?”
Chloe wondered if the doctor could see how nervous she was. She faked a smile and asked, “How could you tell?”
“Your knuckles are white. Here’s what we are going to do. I’m going to examine you and then we can talk. Sound like a plan?” she asked, putting down the chart and then washing her hands.
Chloe nodded, and then lay back on the table.
After about fifteen minutes, the doctor took off her gloves and wrote some notes. “Okay, let’s talk. I can see you’re not sexually active. Everything looks good. Period normal?” she questioned.
“Ahh, yep, no complaints.” Chloe faked a smile. This was one of the most embarrassing things she‘d gone through and she still hadn’t gotten to talking about going on the pill.
“So, why are you here? Normally, a girl your age doesn’t come to me unless there is a problem,” she asked.
“I wanted to talk about going on the pill,” Chloe said shyly. She could feel her cheeks get red; she felt hot suddenly, like this was too much to ask.
The doctor nodded her head. “Boyfriend?”
“Yeah. But he isn’t pressuring me, if that’s what you think. We just talked about it and I thought this would be the best answer when it came to protection,” Chloe explained, trying not to sound like a child or like she was being forced to do this.
Dr. King looked at her for a long time. “Not that it is any of my business, but has he been active?”
She felt stupid suddenly. “No, we’re both virgins.”
“Okay, I’m getting the picture. You’re in love, or at least you think you are. You’ve been talking about going further. So, here is what I’m going to do. As much as I want to tell you that it would be so much better to wait, I know kids these days, and I have dealt with a lot of teen pregnancies. You seem like a really smart kid and it’s obvious that you have thought this all through. I’m going to give you a sample pack and a prescription. You need to wait at least two months before you can have unprotected sex, and I’m hoping in that two months you two decide to wait a little longer.” She wrote out the prescription and handed it to her, along with the sample. “And, Chloe, I don’t want to see you in here for a pregnancy test.” Dr. King left her alone with that thought.
Chloe changed into her clothes and went back out to the waiting room. She looked at the bus schedule to see when the next bus to take was. Putting on her coat, she heard a familiar voice and dropped everything she was holding.
“Chloe, what are you doing here?” Gina looked really surprised that she was not at school.
“I was just getting a checkup. I’m off to school now.” Chloe got suddenly nervous.
“Well, if you give me a minute, I’ll give you a ride. I just have to pick something up.” Gina smiled as the nurse called her back.
“Ah, okay.” Chlo felt sick. Gina was going to find out what she was doing there. She would be fu
rious with them for even thinking this. Now more than ever, she wished she’d gone to the clinic.
The car ride with Gina had been painful. They talked about school and college. She seemed to be skirting around why Chloe had been to the doctor. Gina left her off at the school entrance and waved as she drove away.
Chloe went in and was shutting her locker while she took a deep breath.
“So how did it go?” Nick hobbled up to her locker.
She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Nicholas, why aren’t you using the crutches? Your leg isn’t going to get any better if you don’t start listening to what the doctor said.”
He squinted his eye at her and gave her a suspicious look. “I can’t carry my books and use the crutches. Is something wrong? You don’t usually snap at me like that.”
“I’m sorry, just stressing. We have a problem.” She laid her head on his shoulder, needing to feel his embrace.
He pushed her away and looked at her face, down to her stomach. “What kind of problem? I mean, we were really careful that day and didn’t do anything that could happen—I don’t think—”
“Oh, my God, no! That would be a nightmare!” she said quickly after seeing his reaction. “Your mother was there when I got done. She knows my doctor.”
“Please tell me you didn’t see Dr. King. Donna King?” He ran his hands over his face and through his hair.
“Yeah, that’s her.” Chloe sighed and started to class.
“She can’t say anything, right? Doctors are not supposed to if you sign that paper about keeping quiet,” he said as he put his hand on her arm.
“I signed the paper. I just know she knows. She was acting strange when she brought me to school. Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t know she knew your mom,” Chloe continued as they entered the classroom.
“Great, just great. It’s not your fault. Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle her,” Nick replied, taking his seat.
* * * *