by Jo Cattell
When he got home after dropping Chloe off at work, he went into the kitchen and found his mother. He wanted to act normal and, hopefully, she wouldn’t ask any questions. “Hey, Mom, how was your day?” Nick said, trying to feel her mood.
“Good. How was yours?” she asked him as she was washing up lettuce for a salad.
“Good. I got a lot of homework to do, so I’m just going to run and get that done.” He started to back out of the kitchen, but because of the braces on his leg, he wasn’t quick enough.
“I saw Chloe today.”
Nick stopped dead in his tracks. “Really? Where?”
“At my friend’s office. You remember Donna?”
“Yeah. Mark had the hots for her,” Nick joked and again, tried to leave.
“I gave Chloe a ride to school and there’s something I want to talk to you about.” She put the lettuce in the bowl and started drying her hands on a towel.
He knew it was coming. She was going to ask him and he didn’t know what to say.
“Nick, why was she at the doctor today? Is there something going on that I don’t know about? See, if you come clean, I will make sure that when I kill you, it will be painless,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest.
“For you or me?” He faked a laugh.
“Nicholas, start talking.”
“I don’t know. Girl problems, I guess. I really don’t want to know what goes on there. She just said she had a doctor’s appointment today and that she would be late for school,” he lied, hoping she would drop it there.
She came around the counter and sat at the table. “Sit!” she insisted and then waited for him to do as she asked. “Two weeks ago, I thought I’d lost you in the accident. Now, I’m sitting here wondering what to do about the things that could be going on with you and Chloe.” She took his hand and touched his ring. “Do you remember the day I gave this to you? Do you remember what we talked about beforehand?”
“Yeah. You said that someday, I’m going to meet this incredible girl who I would fall madly in love with. That no matter how much we are in love, by saving ourselves until we got married, it would make it all the more special and meaningful. That there are girls who are going to tempt me, but as long as I stayed true to myself and my beliefs, that this special girl would love me all the more for it.” He remembered almost word for word, because she had drummed it into his head enough.
“I know how you feel about Chloe. Believe it or not, I feel that way about your dad. Maybe, he should be the one who really needs to talk to you about this, but as your mom, I want to. I don’t know what you two are thinking, but I hope that you both will really, I mean really, Nicholas, think about this before you do something you both may regret. Do you understand what I’m trying to say to you?” she asked him as she squeezed his hand.
“Yeah, Mom, I do. Don’t worry. We haven’t done anything like that, and it’s like the furthest thing from our minds.” The lying was coming too quickly now. He hated himself for lying to her face, but she didn’t understand how they felt about each other. She could never understand the connection they had. It wasn’t like them or when they grew up. Mark had said the same thing, but the more Nick saw him with Claire, he knew Mark was full of it.
Gina touched his face. “Nicholas, no matter what you do in your life, you’re always going to be my little boy. The one who would rather help me make cookies than play in the dirt with your brothers. Just be smart.”
Later, Chloe got into his car and she looked like she was going to collapse. “How was your night?” she asked him as she leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“I got cornered by my mom,” he stated and put the car in drive.
“Oh, no! What did she say?”
“The stuff a mother is supposed to say. I felt like such a dick lying to her,” he said softly.
“What did you lie to her about?” She was confused as to what happened.
He shook his head and took her hand. “That we haven’t even thought of doing anything.”
Chloe was quiet for a minute. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“I don’t know. You said we have to wait two months?” he questioned, trying to remember what she’d told him.
“Yeah, that’s what the doctor said. Nick, we don’t have to take this step. I know we both said we’re ready, but we don’t have to.”
“So, are you having second thoughts?” he questioned her.
She looked down at her hands and started playing with her ring. “I’m just confused now as to what to do. I hate that it’d come down to you having to lie lying now about us, and as long as we’re together, it really shouldn’t matter. It just feels so wrong suddenly to even want to go that far. I mean, when we’re together, alone, everything just feels right between us and it only feels natural to go further. Maybe we should think about this some more.”
Nick pulled up at her house and turned the car off. “I know the way I feel about you is true. I love you, Chloe. And after talking to her, I don’t know how I feel about us and going further. I really hated lying to her, but this is my life, and I was twelve when I made that promise to her. If I keep it, I don’t think I’m being true to myself and my feeling towards you.” He was tired of fighting with himself and things were just getting harder.
“Then, let’s do this. We have two months to decide what we want to do. If we change our minds, then we wait. Nicholas, I love you and my feelings aren’t going to change just because we do or don’t have sex.”
He smiled and kissed her. “You better go in, it’s getting late. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Love you, Nicholas Allen.” She got out of the car.
“Love you, Chloe Gardner,” he called to her.
* * * *
The house was dark as Chloe entered, which was odd for that time of night. She turned on the light and saw Shelly sitting on the couch, staring at the wall. She had a drink in her hand and tears were streaming down her face.
“Shelly, are you all right?” Chloe asked as she approached her.
“Does it look like everything is all right?” Shelly hissed at her.
“Is there anything I can do? Do you want to talk?” Chloe really didn’t want to, but she had never seen Shelly cry and felt bad for her.
Shelly laughed at her. “Why would I want to talk to you? You probably wished this on me.”
Chloe was confused. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You’ll be happy to know I lost the baby. But that doesn’t make you Daddy’s little girl. He is on his way home now to be with me, and if I were you, I would make myself scarce,” she spat at Chloe.
“Shelly, I’m so sorry. I know how excited you were. I would never be happy about something like this. Is there anything I could do for you?” She was trying to be sincere and show Shelly the compassion that she’d never received from them. Even after how horrible Shelly had been to her, she felt bad for her.
“Yeah, here is something you can do for me. Go have your rich little boyfriend knock you up, and then give me your baby. That would make things better for me. How stupid can you be, Chloe? There’s nothing you could ever do for me, except to leave. You’re just a reminder of that whore who lived here!” she yelled at her.
Chloe was taken aback. “I was just trying to be nice and have some compassion for you. Maybe if that ice-cold heart of yours would melt, you would see that.”
Everything happened in the blink of an eye. Chloe had turned to leave the room when Shelly stood up and grabbed her hair. She stumbled and tried to turn around as Shelly smacked her hard across the face.
“You selfish little bitch. How dare you talk to me that way?!” she screamed at Chloe.
Chloe said nothing but tried to break free of her grasp. She didn’t know how it happened, but she was on the floor and her father was holding Shelly as she cried.
“She’s nothing but a reminder of what I can’t do. I hate that little bitch!” Shelly cried against her father’s shoulder.
Chloe got up slowly and picked up her books.
He father glared at her. “Go to your room and clean yourself up. After I get her calmed down, you come down here and clean this mess up.”
Chloe nodded and went up the steps. She lay on her bed and took out her phone. She was afraid if she told Nick what just happened he would come over here and make things worse. That or they would make good on their threat of not letting her see him anymore. She texted him the only thing she needed to: Tell me you love me.
Always, was his reply.
She felt tears come to her eyes. Sweet Dreams, she sent to him.
U 2. Nite.
She brought the phone up to her chest as she cried.
Chapter Thirteen
Months passed and things at home didn’t change. With each negative pregnancy test, Shelly got worse. The only way Chloe escaped it was school, work, or going to the Allen’s.
Baseball season had started, and though Nick was supposed to take it easy on his leg, he went back full swing.
While he was busy with that, Chloe had thrown herself into work. Inventory had been coming up and the boss had recruited her because of her organizational skills.
Gabbie had been slowly getting over losing Dave and was hanging out with them more. She even started to smile a few times when Kevin and Nick would go at it. It was nice to have back the friendship that she and Gabbie had shared; it was just a shame it came at the price of Dave’s passing.
Chloe stood at her locker, trying to keep her eyes open. It was getting so that it was hard to think straight anymore with everything that was going on at home and work.
“Another late night?” Gabbie asked her as she walked up.
“Yeah. This going in after school and getting home at ten, then working on homework until 3 A.M. is starting to kill me. At least it’s only until Friday,” Chloe complained. The only good thing was that it was easier to keep away from Shelly.
“I hope so. Those dark circles under your eyes are not attractive. Are you doing gym today?”
“Ugh, I can’t say I have cramps again; he’s going to catch on,” Chloe answered and tried to think of another excuse.
They were walking down the hall when Kevin grabbed her. “Who is going to catch on? Because if you’re thinking of cheating on my brother, pick me,” he teased.
“Mr. Low. We are trying to get out of gym class again,” Gabbie explained.
“Who told you I was thinking about cheating on your brother?” Chloe demanded, shocked that he would kid her about a thing like that. “I don’t have time to cheat on him.”
“I was just wondering. I haven’t seen you around for a while and I heard you were avoiding my brother lately,” Kevin explained.
“How can I avoid him when he’s in most my classes?” Chloe tilted her head at him.
“I don’t know. He just said at lunch that you were avoiding him lately. Is there trouble in paradise? Did he do something to piss you off? Because I can fix that for you.” Kevin made a fist and grinned at her.
She stopped at the locker room door. “I’ve just been working a lot and you two have had baseball. There’s no trouble that I know about. Speaking of which, where is your brother?”
Kevin laughed. “He got stuck in French. I guess he can’t pronounce something right.”
She shook her head at that. “He pronounces things just fine. I’ve heard him practicing with Mark and it sounded flawless.”
Kevin was right though. They didn’t really have much time for each other lately. Ever since she’d gone to the doctors, they had avoided being alone together. It was like they were afraid of what would happen if they were alone. She found herself missing him. The Nick he was when they were alone, the one who knew her secrets and didn’t care. Chloe walked into the gym and suddenly felt his arm around her.
“Hey, don’t I know you?” Nick teased.
“Yeah, you’re that guy who sits next to me in homeroom, right? Nick, was it?” She smiled. She liked when he was playful like this; he hadn’t been lately.
“Yeah, aren’t we dating? I mean, I could swear we are. It just doesn’t seem like it lately.”
“You’ve been busy with baseball and I’vebeen working a lot. Oh, and I’m not trying to avoid you,” she told him as she laid her head on his shoulder.
“Kevin has a big mouth. I just said that you hadn’t said much to me today. Seeing the circles under your eyes, I can see why. How much sleep are you getting?”
“A few hours here and there; it’s almost done.” She faked a smile and looked at him.
“Are you working tonight?” He hoped she wasn’t. He wanted to spend some time with her.
“Nope, because I’m working late tomorrow. What time does practice gets done?” At least they could have a few minutes after practice together.
He pulled her closer to him. “Funny thing, there’s no practice tonight. I do have homework, though. What about you?”
“Tons, and now probably a report, since I have been asked to skip gym again. Since you have homework and I have homework, maybe we could do it together?” she suggested with a playful smile on her face.
“Hmm, that’s just what I was thinking. My house or yours?” He suddenly longed to be close to her, feel her touch.
“Ahh, yours,” she said quickly. “You don’t want to be at my house right now.” She was nervous about anyone being there in case Shelly was home.
“So, I guess it’s a date. I will pick you up after school in the parking lot. I have the silver Mustang,” he reminded her as he started to go outside.
“Yeah, the one you look so sexy in,” she called to him.
He laughed and went out.
* * * *
After school, they sat in the kitchen and worked on homework. He looked up from his paper and glanced at Chloe. She was trying hard to stay awake as she leaned on her hand. Nick took her hand and laced his fingers through hers.
“What?” She smiled at him shyly.
“You want to go to prom with me?” he asked her. He envisioned holding her in his arms again, like New Year’s, and could only imagine how beautiful she would look all dressed up in prom wear.
Chloe laughed at that. “I would love to, but I can’t afford a dress or anything else for it.”
“What if I helped you with it?”
She looked down at her book. “Nick, we have talked about this. I can’t take money from you. I don’t feel right about it.”
He squeezed her hand and made her look at him. “Can you just think about it? It could be fun. How much more do you have to do?”
“I have to write a report on a sports person for gym to bring that grade up because I keep cutting to make Gabbie happy. And a little bit more of history.” She yawned
“How about I do your sports paper and you can finish history later? Since we have the time, let’s go for a ride. I’ll even take you out to dinner,” he suggested, wanting to take a break and try to reconnect with her.
“How can I turn that down? A real date with my boyfriend! Sounds like fun, but can we change first? I really don’t want to go out like this.” She giggled, looking at her uniform.
“Okay, then let’s go get changed and go,” he said and raced her up the steps.
Nick took her to a little out-of-the-way restaurant that was quiet. At their table, as Chloe looked over the menu, Nick gazed at her. She wore her hair down and very little makeup. The cream-colored sweater brought out the glow of her skin. Everything had changed after Dave died and he had that talk with his mother. He was so unsure of so many things and had pulled away from her a little. And she had thrown herself into work and away from him more. Then he started practice. He was scared they were losing what they had.
After dinner, they went for a walk in the park to the gazebo.
Chloe went over the side rail and looked out at the moon on the lake.
Nick came up behind her and held her. “I’m scared,” he said finally into her ear.
> “You scared? I don’t believe it. What are you afraid of?” She laughed a little.
“That we’re drifting apart.” He kissed her neck.
She turned around to face him and put her arms around him. “It’s just been a couple of tough months. We’ve had a lot to deal with and a lot to think about.”
He put his arms around her waist and gazed into her eyes.
“Nicholas, I love you. Nothing has changed,” she said softly, putting her arms around his neck.
“Are you sure? I mean, your boss has been giving you rides home at night lately,” he teased.
“Yuck, he’s like thirty and creepy. I mean, he’s nice and all, but really, Nick—him?” She laughed.
He smiled at her. “Okay, he is creepy, I will give you that. But there’s something going on I can’t put my finger on. You used to tell me everything, and lately, you have been quiet.”
“I’m still here, with you. I don’t let it bother me anymore. There really isn’t a point to—”
He held her tight against him. “Swear, you still love me like you used to before all this stuff happened.”
She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him like they used to. “Always,” she whispered breathlessly.
“We have to find time for each other, Chlo. We can’t keep doing this.”
“I’m done with inventory tomorrow night, and then things should slow down for me. Baseball is only for another few months, then summer is here. You promised me the shore,” she reminded him, running her hand through his hair.
“Yeah, but you have to get the bikini first,” he teased her.
“I never said I was getting a bikini!” She smacked his arm and laughed. Then, she looked into his eyes. “It may be like this for a while, at least for the next year. Once we start college, it should get better.”
He could feel the urge to touch her come on him and he had to pull away from her. He wasn’t sure why, but he was fighting with himself to be with her. It had started the day his mother talked to him about her. “I have to get you home. It’s getting late.” He knew that if they stayed any longer, he would not be able to fight it.