by F. T. Zele
“I can’t just watch anymore. I need to touch you.”
He crashes his mouth to mine, holding me in place by my cheeks. Breaking the kiss, he ever so lightly drags his fingertip across my lips then down my neck. He continues down my chest until he reaches my navel. Goose bumps cover my body, and I close my eyes, needing to feel more than I see. I hear some rustling, so I open my eyes to find him taking off his shirt, and I’m quickly reminded of those dark tattoos that cover his upper arm and wrap around his back.
“Like what you see?” he teases.
“Very much so. Are you gonna lose those pants soon? I’m the only one undressed all the way,” I say, wanting to see more since that’s the one thing I never got to see the first time.
“Be patient. This isn’t about me. This is all about you tonight. I’m going to show you what you mean to me, and when you come, that’s when I’ll worry about me.”
I shiver at his response and don’t want to wait any longer. This delayed gratification he’s pulling is killing me. After sliding me on the bed until my ass is on the edge, he drops to his knees. I jump when I feel the tip of his tongue slide across my sex.
“I need to taste you,” he says, wasting no time before his mouth is on me.
Little waves of pleasure surface, and I don’t know how long I can last. He starts circling my clit with his tongue and inserts his finger inside me, making the need to find my release unbearable.
“I don’t want to finish like this, please. I need to have you inside me,” I cry out, as his moans become louder.
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you come again with me inside you. Now, don’t stop me again. Just enjoy it,” he says as he returns his mouth to my clit.
My breathing becomes labored, and I’m close to coming. With a few more swipes of his tongue and one hard thrust of his finger, my body starts to tingle, and I’m sent over the edge.
“Oh God!” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. Normally, I would feel mortified for saying something like that, but not with Braxton. It feels like nothing I have ever experienced before. He continues to lick, thrusting his finger inside as I ride out the waves rolling through my body.
I hear the zipper on his pants slide down, and I take a peek as he pulls down his boxers, freeing his hard length. Seeing it awakens the high I was feeling, and I get a second wind, needing to feel him inside me. I back myself up the bed as he walks toward me and hovers over my body. I feel his cock teasing my entrance while he leans down and kisses me. I taste myself on him, and it’s the hottest kiss ever.
“You don’t know what your taste does to me,” he confesses.
As our kisses get more intense, he stops suddenly, bending down and grabbing something off the floor. He comes back up with a tiny foil packet and begins to open it.
“I’m on the pill,” I declare, not wanting the condom as a barrier between us. He looks at me with sincere eyes, and I know I can trust him. He tosses the condom aside and continues his assault on my mouth. “I need you,” I say between kisses.
“I need you, too,” he seductively tells me as he pushes only the tip of himself inside me. I suck in a breath. “You like that? Do you want all of it?” he asks.
“Yes, stop teasing me.”
“Ask me nicely.”
“Stop playing games. Please,” I beg him.
I guess I said the magic word because before the last word comes out, he pushes all the way inside, filling me. He steadies himself for a second before he starts a slow fluid movement, drawing it out. Taking one hand off the bed, he grabs my breast, playing with my hard nipple, rolling it between his thumb and finger. The feeling combines with the pleasure from him thrusting in and out of me.
“You are so beautiful,” he says, pushing deeper and harder, and I feel his body start to tense, just as mine is. I have never had two orgasms back-to-back, but the need is building again.
Grabbing my ankles, he places my legs on his shoulders, hitting my most sensitive spot, and I don’t know if I can hold out any longer. He releases little grunts every time he plunges into me, as I fail trying to stifle my moans.
“That’s right. Let me know,” he says as he quickens his pace. He takes his thumb and rubs my clit, and with one last deep push, I come undone again, just as his warmth fills me. “Fuck!” he yells as he slows down. “That’s it. Keep taking it.”
I can’t form words as I lie here out of breath in my own euphoric state. When he slowly pulls out of me, I feel void. Lowering his body, he lies on top of me, both of us sticky from our sweat.
After we catch our breath, he rolls off me and pulls me to him, holding me tightly as he places soft kisses on my head. We lie here in silence, not needing words. The feeling of him next to me this time is enough.
My eyes start to feel heavy, and I’m spent for the night. Before my eyes close all the way, I tell him what he wants to hear, what he deserves to hear from me, “Braxton, I love you.”
“Shhh . . . go to sleep,” he quietly says as he runs his fingers through my hair.
“I love you more. Don’t ever leave me,” he whispers, and my heart crumbles.
I wake up the next morning with Braxton still wrapped tightly around me, like he’s scared I’m going to leave. The last words I heard from him replay in my head, but nothing can take the after-sex smile off my face. I try to keep still not to wake him, but it doesn’t work. He starts moving and holds me tighter.
“Good morning, beautiful. How did you sleep?” he says as his face is nestled on my neck.
“Morning. I slept fine. I need to shower and get ready for work. I can take you home on the way,” I tell him.
“Why don’t you blow off work and we can stay like this all day?”
“I wish I could, but I have some stuff that needs to get done today before the weekend. We have all weekend, though.”
“I know, I thought I would try anyway. I’ll hold you to this weekend. I guess I should get up, too. Have you gone shopping since you were sick?”
“Yes, help yourself to whatever you want. I’ll be quick,” I say, then lean over and steal a kiss before I head to the shower. As I get up, I remember I’m still naked from the night before. In the bright morning sunlight, my shyness creeps up on me, and I look around for something to throw on.
“After last night, you’re still trying to cover up?” Braxton asks as he rubs his hands on his face.
“This is going to take some time to get used to.” I gather my pride and get ready to head to the bathroom.
We get up simultaneously, and he makes sure to slap my butt as I dash across the room. I’m slightly jealous that he has no care to let it all hang out. I turn before I make it to the bathroom to sneak a peek and feel the heat start to rise in my cheeks. I hear him chuckle, and I know I’ve been caught.
Once I’m ready for the day, I head out to the kitchen where Braxton is standing in his clothes from last night, doing what I already knew he was doing— cooking breakfast. I might have to tell him at some point I usually grab a yogurt or something small in the morning before work, but I won’t do it today. I take a seat at the breakfast counter, and he places a plate of food in front of me before sitting down.
“You aren’t eating?” I ask when he doesn’t have a plate of his own.
“No, I don’t usually eat in the morning,” he says, and I can’t help it. I laugh out loud, probably harder than I should.
“What’s so funny?”
No use in waiting to tell him now.
“I was just thinking the same thing. I usually grab a yogurt or something small and eat it on the way to work.”
“You know you can tell me these things, right? That will just give us a little more time in the morning to stay in bed.” He winks at me.
Then in good ol’ Liz fashion, I panic inside when he says that. Are we spending every morning together? Is this going too fast? Freaking out, I start sweating and breathing fast. God, I’m going to need another shower.
; “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Calm down,” Braxton says as he rubs my shoulder, trying to soothe me.
“Nothing, just the future scares me. What you said about the mornings. Is that what’s next? I’m thinking too much. I need some water,” I ramble. He grabs a cup and fills it.
“Liz, I was joking. Look, did you mean what you said last night before you fell asleep?” he asks me in a serious tone. I stop thinking about all the messed-up thoughts that have crashed into my mind and breathe.
“Every word of it, I do. I just need to process this stuff differently than others. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you,” I say, feeling upset. The last thing I want is for Braxton to think I said that in the moment and didn’t mean it.
“Listen, we don’t have to plan out everything we do. We actually do pretty well with whatever is thrown our way. We’ve made it this far. Stop thinking, okay, just stop. This is not how I want you feeling this morning.”
“You know it’s not like last night didn’t mean anything to me. It meant everything to me. I’m just out of whack this morning.”
“Don’t worry about eating this.” He takes away the plate and puts it into the sink. “Grab your little snack, and let’s forget this talk, okay? Let’s get going.”
“You’re right. Forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive. Come here,” he calls me to the sink.
I walk over there, trying to shake the idiot out of me. He wraps his arms firmly around me, making the tension melt away. I’m amazed at how a simple hug makes it all disappear. He leans down and plants his lips on mine, and my heart flutters.
Once I’m in my office, I feel better. I sit down and get started with the phone calls for the day when Jen appears in the doorway.
“How did it go last night?” she asks as she sips her coffee. I think about last night, and the smile reappears. Memories flood my brain of everything other than dinner. “That good, huh?” Jen says with wide eyes.
“It was a nice evening.”
“You don’t have to tell me. Your face says it all. Go bask in your after-sex glory. Hey, at least someone is getting some,” she says before she walks away. If it was anybody other than Jen or Sophie, I would have nearly fainted from that last statement, but I expect that type of response from them.
The day drags, and all I can think about is Braxton, last night, and the misunderstanding this morning, although it was kind of funny. I don’t know why two polar opposites can completely scare the shit out of me. I crave stability, sometimes more than my next breath, but the second he starts saying anything remotely close to the future, I lose it.
I am definitely some sort of special.
Feeling frustrated, I send Braxton a text.
Me: Hey, work is crawling today. Tonight?
I put down my phone while I wait for him to reply, trying to get lost in my work in hopes it will make the day go faster.
Once I’m done for the day, I pack up and head out of the office. Not receiving a response from Braxton has me worried. I get home, and the first thing I do is open a bottle of wine and send him another text.
Me: Is everything ok?
Braxton: Yeah, haven’t had a break today. Just finished up the last meeting.
Me: Haven’t heard from you. Wanted to make sure you were ok.
Braxton: I’m fine. I’m just going to have dinner with my mom. Come over after?
Me: If you have time.
Braxton: There’s always time for you.
Me: Your mom comes first.
Braxton: You both are important to me.
Me: I know. I’ll see you later then?
Braxton: You bet.
Making myself cozy on the couch, I get out my laptop to order a pizza and search some places in the area for rent. I haven’t told Braxton yet that I’ve been thinking about moving, but the need to get out of this place is more apparent lately.
I get this little stab of insecurity when I have Braxton over. There’s just something about having him here, knowing I used to share this house naively with someone who I thought would never let me down. Finding a new place to pair with my new life seems like the best thing to do.
As I scroll through tons of listings with pictures, nothing seems to catch my eye. When I’m about to give up my search for the night, there is a knock on the door. My pizza has to be here. I get up and grab my wallet from my purse and make my way to the door. As I open the door, I find Braxton standing there, pizza in hand.
“Well, this is the best delivery I’ve ever had.”
“I saw the delivery guy walking up here. I hope you know I expect a big tip,” he jokes. He makes things sound sexier than they should. Leaning in, he plants a kiss on my lips. I open the door, and he follows me inside.
“I’m going to grab a plate. Do you want a slice?” I ask, taking the box from him.
“I already ate, thanks.” He makes his way into the living room. I left my laptop open, and when I walk into the living room, I catch him looking at the screen.
“Are you staying close?” he asks, sounding a little nervous.
“Of course, my job is here.”
“Just your job?”
“No, not just my job—you, Sophie, everything. I want a fresh beginning. It’s hard to do that here, you know?” I say, not wanting to defend my actions.
“I get it, I do. I just didn’t know you were thinking about moving. I have a good real estate agent if you want his number.”
“I’m not one hundred percent ready yet. There’s a lot to think about. I do want to move before my birthday, though.”
“When is that? You haven’t mentioned it before.”
“In five months, November twenty-third. The big Three-O,” I say, not feeling completely comfortable that I’m going to be hitting such a large milestone in my life. Even though I’m starting over with a lot of things, this might turn out to be a great year.
“Well, that coincides with the opening of the restaurant. Maybe we can make it a birthday celebration/grand opening?” I can see the light bulbs going off in his head with this idea.
“It’s still a while away. We can talk about it more later.”
I finish eating and close my laptop as he turns on the TV and surfs the channels. He lands on some old black and white movie, and I get comfortable lying against him. Coming from someone who doesn’t watch movies or TV very often, he seems oddly engrossed in it.
“You like this movie?” I ask.
“Yeah, I remember my mom watching it when I was a kid. It was her favorite movie. I used to sneak out of my room and watch it while I hid behind the couch, hoping not to get caught. I wasn’t allowed to watch TV often.”
“I’ve never seen it.”
“I’ve seen it a million times. I’ll change the channel if you don’t want to watch it, or I can think of other things to do with our time,” he says as his hand trails down my back.
“I bet you could. Care to show me?” I ask as desire pools between my legs.
I guess when you have been sexually deprived for as long as I have, anything sexually suggestive is an automatic turn-on. He turns quickly and pins me down, holding my arms above my head with one hand.
“Oh, I’ll show you, and then some. How does that feel?” he whispers into my ear, making my body heat with lust as he teases my most sensitive place above my pants.
“More.”
“There’s a lot more where that came from. Go wait for me in your room,” he barks.
Catching my breath before I get up, I make my way to the bedroom. I know he has something up his sleeve, but I don’t know what. I wait impatiently on the edge of my bed, needing him. Needing to feel him and have him take away all my fears and doubts.
When he enters the room, he drops his duffle bag onto the floor, then pins me with his eyes, holding me in place. He walks over, wasting no time as he crashes his lips to mine and rips my clothes off.
I get transported into this mind frame, and before I know it, I’m unbuc
kling his pants, like I’m in a race. The hunger strikes, and I get his pants off. Reaching down, I grab his cock and pump my hand up and down as he groans with pleasure.
“Liz.” As my name leaves his mouth, an empowering feeling overcomes me, and I know I’m doing something right.
I drop to my knees, craving every inch of him. I never thought doing this would turn me on as much as it does right now. Working his length, feeling him getting harder, I find my rhythm. He grabs the hair on the back of my head gently as he starts to tense. I forget about me, only having one clear motive tonight—making him happy.
“Liz. Shit, that feels . . . fuck . . .” he says, out of breath. “I’m going to come.” He pulls me up before he finishes. Taking me by surprise, he pushes me onto the bed. He doesn’t take off my panties, but slides the fabric to the side, feeling what he wants. “You must like that. You’re already wet for me,” he says as he pushes himself all the way in, not giving me a chance to respond.
I can tell he’s set on getting to his release as he speeds up his movements. His head dips, and he pushes down my bra, taking my nipple into his mouth and sucking hard. I tense, feeling close to my own release. Letting go, I ride the surge of waves as they wash over me. Braxton moans and falls out of breath next to me on the bed. Once my breathing levels, I sit up while he lies there.
“I’m going to rinse off real fast.”
“Okay.”
After throwing on some sweats, I make my way out of my bathroom to find Braxton asleep with a thin sheet covering him. I take this moment to look at him, more than just the physical aspect, but to look deep down and to gauge these feelings I have growing inside me. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.
Lying in bed next to him, I lay my head on his chest, needing to hear his heart. He wakes up for a moment and pulls me closer, then kisses the tip of my nose.