by Lane Hart
"So you've just got to become a man worthy of her," I whisper to myself as I carefully drive down the mountain.
Will I ever be? I'm not sure, but I do know one thing. I've got to try.
Driving into Gatlinburg today, even the back way is busy as fuck. I'm getting irritated about being stuck in traffic, but I know after I pull off the job, this will work to my advantage. I'll blend in with all the traffic leaving, and as long as I obey traffic laws, it should be an easy in and an easy out.
Parking at a lot about a half-mile away from the one I'm pulling the job at, I put my beanie on, and shrug into my leather jacket. Here, right now, as I'm trying to fly under the radar, I don't wear my cut. It's a cold day, snow coming down a little thicker, my breath is a puff of white coming from my mouth as I leisurely walk amongst the vacationers.
"What's up, Stoner?" I ask as I get to the lot where I've been told there's a car we've been waiting on. His name always cracks me up. Most people would think he's high all the time with that name, but no. It's honestly what his parents named him.
"Not much, Hawk. How's it going?"
"Cold as fuck," I laugh.
It's essential that I stay loose, that no one can tell what I'm about to do. One of the ways I've been able to affect being relaxed is to do things I always do. Reaching into my pocket, I pull out my pack of cigarettes and my lighter. The whole packing and lighting process is enough to keep my hands busy and to keep my mind from wondering as I wait for him to say whatever else he's going to say.
"I heard that shit said we could get a couple more inches of snow tonight. Hoping it won't be too busy tomorrow, but everybody's starting to shop for Christmas."
Christmas. The word kinda makes my heart clench. Those memories haven't been the happiest either, but I'm excited for it to happen for Jacob. This is his first Christmas, and I know it'll be the best.
"So where's this car?" I hate standing around. Once I'm here I like to get my work done.
"Back row, parked near the street. If you go back there, I'll open the exit that's normally closed. It'll send you the back way through the National Park, shouldn't be much traffic today," he pulls up a map on his laptop, looking at the traffic cams.
"Sounds good, you'll take care of my other car until someone comes and gets it? It's at the corner lot down the street."
"Yeah, yeah, a friend of mine runs that lot. Ain't nothing going to happen to it. You've got my word on that."
Luckily I know this guy's word is good. Over the years we've had some that lied more often than they told the truth, but not this one. If I were to have a friend outside of the club, it would probably be him.
"Great, let's get this show on the road. I don't wanna be down here in this shit any longer than I have to be."
"It's worse up in Red Creek isn't it?" He asks as we walk to the back of the lot.
"Yeah, but that's my stomping ground, ya know? We've got friends, and I know all the places that might be slick, I know where I need to be careful. While I do come down here multiple times a week and I have driven what feels like a million miles around these mountains, I like home."
I rub my chest as I say home. For the longest time nothing has felt like home to me, but as I let that word fly, I realize Red Creek has become more my home than any other place I've lived my entire life.
"Don't we all, my man? Don't we all."
Two hours later I'm pulling into our illegal lot. The normal sound of gravel crunching under the tires is muffled by the snowpack that's already accumulated. The office light is on, but I'm not sure who's inside. Getting out of the car, I take the steps into the small trailer that houses the office two at a time.
"Yo," I call as I enter, stopping when I see Banner sitting at the computer desk, her dark hair falling in curly waves around her shoulders. There's a fire in the fireplace, and the light from the flames is playing against the ends that are curled at the tips of her breasts. Why the fuck did I notice that?
"Hey," she answers, giving me a huge smile. "I was wondering if you were going to show up or not. Dad sent everybody from the main shop home since roads are shit. He was hoping you could give me a ride since I don't have four-wheel? They couldn't make it back here to me."
"They couldn't make it back here?" I have a sinking feeling in my gut. "If they couldn't make it back here, then we might be stuck here, princess."
That's the first time I've ever let the nickname I call her in my head slip out, but there's something about the cozy ambiance of the situation we've found ourselves in.
"I guess there could be worse places to be stuck," she motions to the second room in the trailer. "At least there's a bedroom back there. And we have a microwave and a stove."
I've heard things about that bedroom. Back when Racer and Melissa were first married, it's where she used to kick him to when she'd get angry at him for something he did. This trailer used to sit on club property until they found a better use for it as an office.
I growl in frustration; this isn't what I need.
"No reason to get pissed, Hawk," she gives me a grin. "At least I'm pretty. You could be stuck with Jackson, although Bella would say he's pretty too."
"You are," I answer slowly. "Pretty I mean, it's just this doesn't work into my plans. I had shit at the shop I need to get done tonight, and this will throw me further behind."
Banner stands from where she sits behind the desk, and it's almost as if I see a switch flip in her. She goes from being cute, girl next door, to a fucking femme fatale in the blink of an eye. For the first time, I can see what she's wearing. A red dress with black tights, no shoes on her feet.
"Aren't your feet cold?"
Stupidest thing I've ever said in my life.
"You know?" She comes around the desk, having a seat on the edge in front of me, crossing her legs.
"Know what?"
"I got a text from Alyssa last night that asked me when I was going to fuck the bad mood right out of you."
My mouth hangs open, and I work hard to swallow against the dryness in the back of my throat. "She asked what?"
"When I'm going to fuck the bad mood right out of you, and given how you're reacting to this, I think now might be a good as time as any."
Hand to God, if anyone asks me what happens in the next five minutes, I will never be able to tell them. All I know is I end up with Banner wrapped around me, and we're rolling around in the bed she mentioned earlier. And I'm thinking nothing about my club, my patch, or my president.
Chapter Six
Banner
Hawk owns my mouth, everything about it. I've not been kissed much in my life, and I can say with complete certainty I've never been kissed like this. I reach back onto the bed, grabbing hold of one of the pillows between my fingers, holding on for dear life as his hands push up my thighs, lifting the skirt of the dress I wear.
Pulling his mouth away from mine, he hisses as he grinds his hips into me. "God Banner, I've wanted to get inside you for so long."
"How long?" I can't help but ask.
"Years," he admits as his mouth moves to my neck and those hands of his slide further up my thighs gripping the flesh through my tights. "Wanna feel your skin," I can feel his hot breath against my flesh as he talks.
"Wanna feels yours too," I grasp at his cut, pulling it off, throwing it on the ground as my hands move down to the waistband of his jeans, pushing up underneath the shirt that covers his body.
Even though he's been out in the cold, his skin is warm to the touch, burning up where my fingers run along his abdomen. I fight against the material, pushing it up as far as I can get it before he lets go of my thighs, grasps his shirt, and pulls it over his head. With pleasure, I spread my hands along his tattooed torso. Images of things I can't see in the dim light of the room move along with the sinewy muscle he's built there from years of working on cars.
"Damnit," he groans as his hands go back to my thighs, and that's when I hear material rip. "Finally," he breathes what sounds
like a sigh of relief as he touches my bare skin, pulling the tights and my panties completely from my body. "Sorry, just needed to feel you."
"Don't be sorry," I breath against his neck, kissing every part I can, running my hands along every part I can. I don't know when he'll pull us out of this dream world when he might come back to his senses and realize this is me he's doing this with. I don't want it to end, never want it to stop.
"Sit up," he instructs, going behind me to unzip my dress, pushing it off my shoulders, cupping my breasts from behind as he does so — another thing no other man has done for me before. The feel of his fingers and palms against my tight hard flesh is enough to make me moan deep in my throat. A ribbon of arousal blooms in between my legs and I close them tightly to try and alleviate the almost painful need that's blossomed. His mouth goes to work at my neck, his hand's cup and knead, pulling the cloak of arousal around both of us. I'm panting, hotter than I've ever been, he's hard against my back.
Reaching behind me, I run my hand along the length, loving the way he groans in the back of his throat. "Your hand feels so fucking good," he bites at my ear, sending goosebumps along my arms and down my chest.
"You feel good too," I groan as he slips those calloused hands of his past the lace of my bra. It feels like hours we touch, kiss, bite, sooth. We turn and flip all over the bed until we're both completely out of our clothes and I'm kneeling with my face in front of his cock. It's long, hard, throbbing in front of me, and I'm holding it in my hand.
"You wanna take it?" He asks, a small smile playing against his lips.
His dark gaze is enough to make me want to do anything for him, but this is one of the many things I'm not versed in. Being the president's daughter has always meant no boy or man has ever really wanted to touch me. Hawk is teaching me all kinds of things tonight. "Yeah."
His hand goes over mine, gripping the base as he brings the head to my lips, rubbing along the seam there. I part them, allowing my tongue to sneak out, to rub against the stretched skin, before I become bolder. I open my mouth and take him in, not deep, but just testing what it feels like.
"Fuck," he grabs at my hair, pushing me down on his length as he pushes his hips up. I try not to, but I gag as I try to take him down my throat. The weirdest thing happens though, a flush of wetness drops between my legs and my nipples go harder. "Sorry, sorry," he apologizes, just feels so good, I can't wait to get inside you.
"Me neither," I answer as I let him go. And it's true; I have an ache that I know only he can soothe.
His strong arms pull me up beside him, and he lays me back against the mattress as his mouth attaches to my breast. His tongue circles the hard nub as I feel his fingers probing between my thighs. At first, it hurts slightly, but then, as he rubs against my clit, using the moisture that's already gathered there, I relax.
"Fuck you're tight," his voice is muffled by the work his mouth is doing. "Must have been a while huh?"
"Yeah," I grip his hair in my fingers, not wanting him to stop what he's doing. I've never had an orgasm with anyone besides myself before, and I'm so close, so close. My hips pick up speed, pulling against his fingers as they push inside me. His thumb gets into the game, rubbing my clit as he suckles and bites my chest, and before I know it, I'm screaming my pleasure. My loud breathing echoes in the room, but before I can be embarrassed, Hawk has left me. He's going for his jeans pocket and pulling out his wallet. I watch as he gets a condom, shoving it down his length in an almost crude gesture.
He grabs my ankle, pulling me over to him, spreading my legs. I glance up, watching as he stands at the edge of the bed, grips my thighs, and then plunges home.
I'm not prepared for the pain that wracks my body: his gaze locks on mine, a look of disbelief covering his face.
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me you're a virgin?"
He tries to pull out, but I fight against him, wrapping my legs around him, digging my feet into his back. "No, Hawk. I want it to be you. Always wanted it to be you."
He throws his head back, before bringing it down so he can look at me. His jaw is working triple time as he glares at me. "This isn't going to be good for you, Banner."
"It already has been," I tighten my muscles around him so hard his eyes roll back. "Just move, Hawk."
He argues with himself, but eventually, he does move, groaning as he does so.
"So fuckin' tight," he breathes heavily as he comes down on his forearms over me. "Not gonna last long."
It's three more strokes until his grunting deeply into my ear, breathing heavily, letting my body take his weight. And it's only then I realize I feel like I'm right where I've been meant to be my entire life.
This is the beginning of the best; I just know it is.
Chapter Seven
Hawk
"Banner this was a mistake."
Her heart breaks in front of me. I can see it as she processes what I've just said. I immediately feel like the biggest dickhead in the world, but as I woke up this morning, I knew without a doubt I could never be the man she wants me to be.
"What?" She pulls the sheet up, shielding her bare chest from my gaze.
"If you'd think about it, you'd know I'm right. This can never work out between us," put my head in my hands, ripping the strands between my fingers.
As much as I don't want to look at her, I can't tear my gaze away. Her long hair falls in front of her face, the Auburn and red hues shining in the dim light of the early morning. Her makeup is smudged beneath those expressive green eyes of hers. A flashback of them looking at me so turned on last night, almost undoes me. It almost makes me re-think my position on letting her go.
"What do you mean this can never work out between us?" She asks, lifting her face to mine.
She's beautiful with her wrecked makeup, tangled hair, and even the dark circles under her eyes where I kept her up for most of the night. Those pink lips of hers are still swollen where I kissed the fuck out of them where I owned them and rubbed my cock against their wet heat. God, I've got to quit thinking about all of that.
"Your dad is never going to approve of me for you, and I'm never going to be the man you want me to be."
Through the night, I've thought about it over and over, psyching myself out about what my future will be, about what Banner will want from me. Bottom line is I'm scared, and I'm just not sure if I'll ever know how to be the type of man my brother is, that Racer is. I just don't know if I have it in me.
"You're so full of shit, and that is such a weak excuse," she hops out of bed, and I do my best not to look at her. She's gorgeous, beautiful in her anger as she goes around the bedroom, yanking clothes from where we threw them last night.
"It's not," I argue hoarsely. "It's the first time I've ever been truly honest with myself."
She turns back to me, already in her dress. She's holding her torn tights in one hand, putting on her panties with the other. "I wish you saw yourself the way other people see you."
"You have rose-colored glasses where I'm concerned, Banner. After all, you did just give me your virginity."
I'm not prepared when she walks over and slaps me right across the face. "Fuck you, Hawk. I never thought you'd be like this."
"Then you never really knew me at all, did you, princess?"
Her green eyes are swimming with tears; I put there. But it's better to break her heart now than for her to think I'm something other than what I am.
"Guess not, and you never really knew me."
She grabs her boots up, putting them on before she runs out the door. There's a part of me that wants to run after her, but I know it will only make things worse. Instead, I listen for her car to leave, waiting until I can no longer hear it outside the trailer.
Hate and self-loathing rear their ugly heads in my mind — the same as they have for most of my life. As I roll over in the bed, pulling the covers off my body, I see the proof she was a virgin last night. Bright red is dotting the otherwise pristine white sheet.
Quickly I get up, putting my clothes on, ripping the sheets off the bed, vowing to replace them as quickly as possible. I hope no one notices they're gone before I can.
The shitty part about all of this? I can still smell her on my skin. I can hear the noises she made, the way she took my body without complaint, and I can see the way she looked at me with love in her eyes. I'll never be able to give her what she needs and it fucking kills me.
As I leave the trailer, I know I need to be by myself. And when I need to be by myself, I go camping. It doesn't matter if it's cold, doesn't matter if it's hot. I don't give two fucks.
Quickly texting Dom, I let him know where I am, and I take off. The only thing on my mind? Getting her off of it.
Chapter Eight
Banner
It's been three days since I left Hawk in that trailer. Neither one of us has seen the other, and I'm not sure if I ever want to see him again. No, that's a lie. I do want to see him again, but I'd like to break his heart as hard as he broke mine.
I'm typing up some legal paperwork, not paying attention to what's going on around me when I hear the chiming of the bell, signaling someone coming into the office. Glancing up from what I'm working on, my eyes go immediately to the shoes the man standing in front of me wears. They're black, shining brightly and lead up into dark green polyester pants.
Immediately I know they belong to someone with the Creek County Sheriff's Department. It's not unusual for a deputy to come in, I usually see them any given day of the week. Whether they are dropping off something pertaining to a case, or possibly asking to speak to my Dad, through me. After all, I'm much less intimidating than he is. He's a very in-demand person around town sometimes.