Gideon's Bride

by Amelia Autin

  But was it really old-fashioned? Or was it that love, true love, took more pleasure in the giving than the receiving?

  “Well, there’ll be plenty of giving and receiving now,” she said out loud, hugging the words to her heart. “Gideon loves me. He really loves me.”

  With nothing left to do, she poured herself a cup of coffee and leaned against the kitchen counter to drink it. And that’s when the tiny, niggling doubt crept back into her mind.

  But would he love you if he knew the truth? Would he love you if he knew who you really are? He loves Rennie. Would he, could he, love Francesca Renee?

  A loud rapping at the front door echoed through the house, startling her out of her uneasy reverie. Who could be dropping by this early on a Sunday morning? She set down her coffee cup, spilling it in her haste, and hurried into the living room, hoping to quiet whoever it was before they woke Gideon. She swung the door open, ready to give the untimely visitor a piece of her mind. But instead, her mouth fell open in astonishment.

  How could it be? There stood Gideon, his hand raised to knock once more.

  Chapter 16

  But Gideon’s asleep! How could he...

  Then she noticed the subtle differences. Only someone who was intimately familiar with Gideon would see that his hair was just a shade more golden than this man’s, and his body just a fraction deeper through the chest and shoulders. And the tiny network of lines etched around Gideon’s eyes from squinting into the sun were missing.

  There was only one person this could be, however, and she named him. “You must be Caleb. I’m Rennie. Gideon’s wife.” She pushed the screen door open, offering him her hand and a tentative smile. “Won’t you come in?”

  While she’d been observing him, he’d been doing the same to her. “I figured you must be the new bride.” His tone was noncommittal, as if he were reserving judgment. He shook her hand briefly. “Where’s Gideon?”

  “He’s still asleep,” she blurted out, then felt herself flushing as if Caleb knew what she and Gideon had been doing the night before.

  Caleb eyed her again, and she could almost see him revising his opinion of her, but whether that was good or bad, heaven only knew. Before he could say anything, a strong, bare arm came around her waist.

  “I’m awake now,” Gideon told her unnecessarily, dropping a kiss on her upturned face. Then he looked at Caleb and grinned. “You son of a gun. Why didn’t you warn us you were coming?” He grasped Caleb’s out-thrust hand, shook it, then clapped his brother on the back. “Damn, it’s good to see you. Come on in.”

  Caleb’s grin matched Gideon’s as the two men moved into the living room. “It’s good to see you, too. Hope I didn’t come at a bad time, but I didn’t know until yesterday I was even going to be in the area. I had a last-minute charter flight to Casper, and I figured what the hell, I might as well come on up the rest of the way, see you and meet your new wife.”

  Gideon’s eyes softened with love and pride when Caleb mentioned the word wife. He turned and drew her into the curve of his arm. “I’m glad you did. This is Rennie,” he said. “Rennie, meet my brother, Caleb.”

  “We’ve already sort of met.”

  “Yeah.” Caleb grinned wickedly. “I couldn’t believe it when your blushing bride said you were still in bed.” His dancing eyes took in Rennie’s bare legs beneath her T-shirt, and the jeans Gideon had pulled on so hastily he hadn’t finished buttoning them. Caleb made a chiding sound with his tongue. “And on a Sunday morning, too.”

  “Hey, none of that.” Gideon faked a punch at his brother. “You’re embarrassing Rennie.”

  “Sorry.” But he didn’t look the least bit repentant. He continued to grin, looking so much like Gideon at his lighthearted, teasing best that Rennie couldn’t be annoyed, despite her embarrassment.

  “It’s okay.” She glanced up at Gideon. “There’s a fresh pot of coffee in the kitchen. Why don’t the two of you go ahead and help yourselves while I get dressed.”

  Gideon held her close for a second. “Don’t be long,” he murmured for her ears alone before he released her.

  Both men watched her slender figure retreat down the hall toward the master bedroom. When the door closed behind her, Caleb darted a sharp look at his brother, a tiny frown forming. “She looks sort of familiar. Do I know her?”

  Gideon shook his head. “I don’t see how. She’s not from around here. Maybe she reminds you of someone.”

  “Maybe.” Caleb shrugged it off and followed Gideon into the kitchen.

  Gideon hesitated for only a moment when he saw the romantic breakfast setting Rennie had arranged for the two of them. He pushed the regret aside, knowing there would be other mornings for them. How often did he get the chance to see his brother?

  He poured coffee into two large mugs and handed one to Caleb. “So when did you get in?”

  “Last night.” Caleb leaned against the counter and took a sip of coffee, testing it, then made a sound of pleasure and drank deeply. “I was planning to call you for a lift, but I ran into Rory Daniels. Remember him?” Gideon nodded. “He’s married now, has a little place outside Sheridan. He offered to put me up for the night, and he lent me his old pickup truck this morning. I have to bring it back this evening, but I’ve got to be in Casper tomorrow afternoon, anyway, to pick up my charter, so it works out all right.”

  “So soon? You just got here.”

  “Yeah, well, you know how it is. Charter flights aren’t so plentiful these days that I can afford to pass up whatever business does come my way.”

  “You’re not in trouble, are you? I have some money in the bank. It’s not much, but you’re welcome to it.”

  “No. Thanks, anyway. I’m doing all right. It’s just that the bank doesn’t own me yet, and I’d like to keep it that way. But thanks for the offer.”

  “Any time. I mean that.”

  “I know. And that goes for me, too.”

  The two men shared a look of brotherly affection and understanding that transcended time and distance. They drank their coffee in silence, savoring the strong bond between them as they savored the strong brew.

  “I got your letter a while back,” Caleb said finally. “Sorry I didn’t make it to the wedding, but I was running a charter down to Mexico and I didn’t get your message or your letter until it was too late.”

  “It’s okay. I understand.”

  “I would have been here if I could, you know that.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  Caleb was silent for a moment, then said diffidently, “I know it’s none of my business, but I sort of got the impression from your letter that this was an ‘arranged’ marriage.”

  “Yeah.”

  “And Rory Daniels told me Rennie answered your ad for a wife. Is that true, too?”

  How long ago that seemed. “Yeah. But things have changed since then.”

  “Seems to me you’re in love with her.” The statement was almost a challenge.

  “Yeah. I am.” A tinge of wonder colored his next words. “And she loves me.”

  “I’m glad. You deserve it after everything that’s happened.”

  Rennie bustled into the kitchen wearing jeans and a lavender T-shirt sporting the words It’s Better in the Bighorns. The two men turned at the interruption.

  “I made up the bed in the spare bedroom,” she said, smiling at Caleb. “How long can you stay with us?”

  “I have to leave this evening, I’m afraid.”

  “Oh, no.” She glanced at Gideon to see how he would take this news, but he only smiled ruefully and shook his head.

  “He already told me.”

  “I knew this visit would have to be short, but I did want to meet you, Rennie,” Caleb said. “And I wanted to see my nieces and nephew. Not to mention this guy here,” he added, indicating Gideon. “It’s been too long.” His brows drew together. “Speaking of your kids, I would’ve thought they’d be up by now.”

  “They’re not here,” Rennie said. D
elicate color surged into her cheeks as she remembered why. “They spent the night with their aunt, but she’ll be bringing them home after church.”

  “Emily? Jo’s sister, Emily?” He slanted a look at his brother, and when Gideon nodded Caleb said, “Last time I saw her was at the funeral.” He stopped awkwardly, suddenly remembering Rennie’s presence and realizing how sensitive this subject was for both his listeners. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “It’s all right, Cal,” Gideon assured him, putting down his coffee cup and stepping to Rennie’s side, smiling down at her. “Rennie and I have talked about Jo before.” He glanced back at Caleb. “It’s not a problem for us.”

  Caleb’s gaze moved from Gideon to Rennie, then back to Gideon, as if seeking the truth behind his brother’s statement. Then he relaxed a little and said seriously, “I’m glad to hear it.” He stared into his coffee cup for a moment, then turned and tossed the dregs into the sink.

  The awkward moment passed, and Gideon set his coffee cup on the counter. “Well, I’ve got chores to see to. You can help me, Cal.” He laughed at the expression of mock horror on Caleb’s face. “Come on, Cal. It’s not that bad. Give me a minute to get some clothes on, and then I’ll give you the nickel tour. You can think up excuses not to help me while I’m gone.”

  The kitchen seemed empty once Gideon left it. For want of anything else to do, Rennie busied herself with setting a third place at the table. That done, she glanced hesitantly at Caleb. For the first time, he smiled at her without reservation.

  “You’ve been good for him,” he said softly. “Anybody can see that.”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  “My brother is a very lucky man.”

  Rennie shook her head and opened the refrigerator, taking out the juice pitcher. “I’m the lucky one.”

  “I don’t think so. I know what he went through when Johanna died. I never thought he’d fall in love again, never thought he’d open himself up to that kind of vulnerability again, but he has. You must be a very special woman to have gotten through to him.”

  She put down the pitcher. “I loved him,” she said simply. “That’s all.”

  “You loved him.” Caleb’s voice held a strange bitterness. “You say that like it’s nothing, Rennie. Don’t you know that it’s everything?”

  They stared at each other for a moment, then Caleb muttered an oath and strode from the room. Rennie watched him go, wondering what had caused his sudden outburst.

  The murmur of deep voices from the living room was followed by the opening and closing of the front door, and she knew the two brothers had gone out. They’d be back soon, though, and they’d be ready for breakfast. If Caleb’s appetite was anything like Gideon’s, she’d need a double batch of everything just to keep pace. She pulled out the flour, then stopped abruptly, realizing her hands were shaking.

  Delayed reaction. That’s all it was, she told herself sternly. Delayed reaction to the mention of Johanna’s death so soon after she’d been thinking about her own involvement in it, and how Gideon would feel if he knew. And Caleb’s reminder about what Gideon had suffered after Jo died certainly hadn’t helped any.

  As she had so many times before, Rennie silenced her guilty conscience, then started on the pancakes. Fifteen minutes later the men walked through the kitchen door, laughing.

  “I can’t believe you fell for that,” Caleb said, his good humor obviously restored.

  “Fell for what?” Rennie slid warm stacks of buttermilk pancakes onto plates and set them on the table. Gideon caught her as she turned and dropped a kiss on her cheek. He must have taken the time to shave when he’d gone to dress, she thought distractedly, because the golden stubble of beard was gone. “Fell for what?” she repeated as he went to wash his hands at the kitchen sink.

  “Gideon was telling me about your imaginary pig, Squeaker,” Caleb said as he joined his brother at the sink. He elbowed Gideon. “Talk about gullible. I would have seen through that story in a minute.”

  “Hey,” Gideon protested, wiping his wet hands on a towel, “I’m not gullible. If you’d heard Rennie tell that story you’d have believed it, too. Nobody can tell a more believable tale than Rennie. Nobody.”

  “Guess it’s a good thing she doesn’t have any dark secrets, then,” Caleb teased. “Otherwise you’d be in a world of hurt.”

  Rennie froze, but neither man saw it. Gideon came over to where she was standing and put his arms around her, drawing her flush against his body. “There aren’t any secrets between us,” he said, softly, warmly. “Not anymore.” He kissed her gently, his eyes full of love and contentment. And trust.

  It was the trust in his eyes that shredded her heart. She almost told him then, guilt fresh on her conscience. Only Caleb’s presence stopped her. She couldn’t do that to Gideon, couldn’t hurt him in front of witnesses. He had such faith in her. When she told him, if she told him, it would have to be in private, where the only witness to her betrayal of his trust would be her.

  So instead of blurting out the truth or bursting into tears, choices denied her, she pasted a smile on her face. “Breakfast is getting cold,” she said, sliding out of her husband’s embrace. “Better sit down and get started.”

  She moved to the stove and turned up the fire under the griddle, then poured out more circles of pancake batter on it. Her hands trembled, but she completed the task, knowing she had to have something to keep her busy or else she’d break down and confess all, despite her resolve. It took everything she had to maintain a semblance of calm.

  It was amazing what the human body could do when pushed to the limit. When survival was at stake, people had been known to lift objects many times their weight, perform feats of tremendous courage, face certain death without flinching.

  Only the thought of survival kept Rennie going through that breakfast. She sat at the table with the two men, responding appropriately when spoken to, and pretending to eat, when all the while she was secretly considering and discarding a dozen approaches to telling Gideon the truth.

  Caught up in their discussion of old times and filling each other in on what was happening in their lives now, neither Gideon nor Caleb realized how far removed Rennie was from them, lost in her own thoughts.

  Breakfast was long finished when Caleb laughed at something Gideon said, and added, “Knowing you, you’ll probably offer too much.”

  “I don’t think so.” Amused, Gideon leaned lazily back in his chair. “And in any case, you probably don’t remember the first thing about what makes good grazing land.”

  “That sounds like a challenge to me.” Caleb’s eyes were sparkling. “I say we ride over there and look at it. Then we’ll see who’s right.”

  “You’re on. Want to come with us, Rennie?”

  The sound of her name jolted her, and she raised questioning eyes. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. What did you say?”

  “Caleb and I are going to take a look at the piece of land I’m thinking about buying. Do you want to come with us?”

  “What land?”

  “Haven’t you heard anything we’ve said in the past five minutes?” She shook her head. “Remember I told you last week Walter Houseman was retiring and selling out?”

  She thought a moment. “Yes.”

  “I’m thinking about making him an offer for that piece of land adjacent to ours. Caleb and I are riding over to look at it. Want to come?”

  “I’d better not.” If things had been different, she would have loved to go with them, but she had two very good reasons for staying behind. She only voiced one of them. “Emily will be bringing the children home soon, and I promised them I’d be here when they got back.” She looked at Gideon, her heart in her eyes. “It’s important that I be here, just as I promised, especially for Nicki and Trina.”

  “I understand. Want me to stay with you?”

  “We don’t have to go, Rennie,” Caleb interjected. “It was just an idea.”

  “No, you
go on,” she said, looking from one to the other. “Caleb’s only going to be here today, so you won’t get another chance before he leaves. Besides, it’ll be more fun with just the two of you.”

  They both started to deny it, but she wouldn’t let them finish. “I have plenty to keep me busy this morning, anyway,” she added as a clincher, “and you’ll just be in my way.” She rose and began clearing the table.

  Gideon came up behind her so quickly she didn’t even know he was there until his arms closed around her waist. He kissed her cheek and nuzzled her ear, then whispered a few sweet, loving words about what a wonderful, understanding wife she was. It was evidence of Rennie’s distraught state of mind that his words both soothed and exacerbated her pain. When his lips found hers for one last kiss, she turned in his arms and held him tight. Then she let him go.

  “Go on,” she urged, her voice husky with held-back emotion.

  Gideon watched her with a puzzled expression for a moment, but she wouldn’t look at him. Finally he glanced away and said, “Come on, Cal. Let’s see if you still know how to saddle a horse.” Caleb answered with an insult of his own, and the two men laughed.

  Rennie stood where she was as two sets of boots clomped across the kitchen floor. The screen door creaked open, then slammed shut behind them. Masculine voices and laughter floated back toward her, then faded away.

  You have to tell him, Rennie. You’ll have no peace of mind until you do. The little voice was back, louder now than ever before.

  “I can’t.” Spoken aloud, she winced at the cowardly sound of those two words.

  You have to. You can’t go on like this.

  “I have so far,” she whispered.

  If he loves you, he’ll understand. And forgive.

  “And if he doesn’t understand? If he can’t forgive me?” The anguished words were torn from her. “What if I lose him?”

  Then you never had him to begin with. Rennie’s conscience was implacable. This lie has to stop. Don’t you see? It’s the only way. And you’re the only one who can put an end to it.