From Love and Pain

by H. A. Caine

  As much as he wished that touch meant something more, he knew that was all it was. He had screwed up and had his work cut out if he ever wanted to get Jaxon back in his life permanently.

  "I'm not going to let you hurt either of us any more than you've already have. It has to end now. I won't live my life in fear and I won't let you take someone else I love from me. You killed my mother, you son of a bitch! Don't you think you've done enough already?"

  Adrian hated the plea he heard in his voice.

  His hand shook briefly shook. He steadied it but not quickly enough.

  Shaking his head slowly, Daniel started walking forward.

  "Stay!" Adrian yelled. He sensed more then heard Jaxon moving closer to him.

  "You’re not going to shoot me. I'm the only father figure you've ever had in your life. You're nothing more than a little boy angry at getting his favorite toy taken away." he threw a quick look full of contempt at Jaxon.

  "Hey!" Jaxon yelled in misplaced outrage.

  Ignoring him, Daniel continued forward. "Now give me the gun and behave before I'm forced to slap you for your stupidity." he held out his hand for the gun.

  This time it was Adrian who laughed, albeit bitterly. "If you truly believe I'm just going to give you my gun, you're the fucking stupid one, dumbass." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Adrian knew they were a mistake.

  Daniel stopped walking. His face turned an alarming shade of red.

  He opened and closed his mouth multiple times but nothing came out.

  His chest heaved with the harshness of his breathing and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.

  Finally, he let out an ear shattering bellow of inhuman rage, and charged Adrian.

  * * * *

  Jaxon watched the scene in front of him unfold in slow motion.

  He watched as Daniel's eyes bulged and his lips drew back in a feral snarl.

  He heard Adrian’s yell seconds before he reached back towards and shoved him in the direction of the sitting room to their right. As he hit the floor and slid a few feet he heard the sound of a gun discharging.

  Coming to a stop against the side of the couch, Jaxon turned his head. Adrian was on the floor, Daniel lying on top of him in front of the door. Jaxon couldn't tell which of them had been shot.

  Crawling to the closest wall, he used it to gain his feet.

  Stumbling forward, Jaxon dropped to his knees next to the men, reaching to pull Daniel off of Adrian. Frantically, he tugged at Daniel’s shirt. Neither of them was moving but Jaxon refused to give into the panic and fear eating away at his insides. "Come on, you big fuck, get off of him!" he grunted as he finally managed to shove Daniel out of the way and get to Adrian.

  There was blood everywhere but Jaxon could see the rise and fall of Adrian chest. He looked to Daniel, spotting the red stain that was growing larger by the second. Turning back to Adrian, he slumped over him

  "Don't get too happy yet. We still have to get out of here." Adrian voice was breathy, as if he'd just finish running as race.

  Looking again at Daniel, Jaxon gave a strained chuckle. "I don't think that's going to be a problem." he helped Adrian to his feet and pushed Daniel out of the way with his good foot as he waited for Adrian to get to the door. Opening it, Adrian let out an aggravated breath. Putting his hand to his ear he yelled, "Would you please stop yelling in my ear? You're giving me a damn headache. We're fine. Tell John to stay where he's at, too." Adrian rubbed his forehead hard as he led Jaxon from the house.

  Looking down the pathway that he had stumbled up the night before last, he spotted a black sedan parked on the curb. As he watched his sister climbed out of the passenger side, followed by a tall brunette man from the driver's side. He barely had a chance to look at the man before his sister was running headlong towards him, screaming.

  "Jaxon! Jaxon!" she was less than a foot away from him when Adrian held out his arm to stop her forward progress and Jaxon stepped behind him.

  Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, he was starting to feel all his pains, old and new.

  The last thing he needed was 132 pound cannonball knocking him on his ass.

  Even if said cannonball was his very lovable sister.

  Melissa ran right into Adrian's arm and he caught her around her waist before she could fall. Setting her on her feet, he stepped aside. "I'll leave you two to it." Jaxon watched as he walked towards the car and the man now standing besides it. He admired the width of Adrian's shoulders and the lean muscles of his back revealed by his shirt that led to his small waist. There was no denying it, the man was simply beautiful.

  "My God, what did that psycho do to you?" Jaxon switched his attention to his sister, smirking in amusement despite the uncomfortable pull to his lips, as she fluttered her hands inches away from him, never actually touching.

  "I'll be fine, sis. Right now, I'm in serious need of some sleep. And pain relievers, those would be a godsend." he slung his arm carefully around her shoulders and together they slowly made their way to the car, Melissa helping him into the back seat. Adrian climbed in after him, Melissa reclaiming the passenger seat.

  The brunette got behind the wheel and Jaxon leaned around the seat, holding his hand out. "John, right?" he asked as they shook.

  "Yeah. So you’re Jaxon, huh? I'd ask how you were doing but I think that's pretty obvious." he flicked a glance in the rearview mirror as he pulled out. Jaxon started to laugh but stopped and grabbed his side when he felt a sharp pain. Groaning he leaned back against the seat, closing his eyes as he leaned against the window. He couldn't believe how much his body his body was beginning to hurt now that nothing was blocking out the pain. He startled when he felt a hand on his leg but kept his eyes closed. Adrian squeezed his thigh softly and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth repeatedly. He breathed slowly and deeply, letting the sway of the car and Adrian's gentle ministrations lull him into a welcomed sleep.

  Chapter Six

  Adrian knew Jaxon had fallen asleep the moment the pained grimace that had become permanently affixed to his mouth ease and a more peaceful look came over him.

  Reaching up, he swept the hair back from Jaxon's face. He swallowed back the tightness in his throat. He couldn't believe that Jaxon was actually sitting beside him once again.

  The emptiness he had carried around inside of him for the past year was slowly beginning to ease the longer Adrian was in Jaxon's presence.

  He never wanted to be so cold and alone again in his life.

  He slid his hand down Jaxon's thigh, gripping his knee.

  He had been beyond relieved when Jaxon hadn't pulled away from his touch earlier. Hope had sprung up; maybe things weren't as screwed as he thought they were.

  He prayed he was right.

  He didn't think he could survive not having Jaxon in his life again.

  Jaxon sighed in his sleep and shifted towards him, resting his head on Adrian's shoulder. Adrian smiled and caressed his cheek softly.

  His favorite position had always been when Jaxon would curl his body into his and they would just snuggle for some time. They used to do it every chance they got, no matter where they were.

  Adrian guessed it gave both of them a sense of security that they had lacked growing up. Adrian had known that Jaxon would always be there for him, and he hoped that Jaxon had known that too.

  Everyday day together had given them happiness and love and something to look forward to the next day. For awhile Adrian had forgotten the constant fear and wariness he had lived with so long. He had been a man in love, with everything he could possibly want in life.

  It had practically killed him to walk away that night. If he could go back to that day he would do everything differently. But I can’t, he thought. All I can do is make things right, now. Get him back and show him that I’ll never again even entertain the idea of leaving. Whatever life throws at us next, we’ll deal with it together, like I should have given us the chance to do before…

 
Adrian sighed softly to himself, resting his cheek against Jaxon's soft hair. Right now, he'll just enjoy the feel of Jaxon leaning against him, his bare arm rubbing against the skin of Jaxon's warm chest.

  "So what's going to happen now?" Melissa's question drifted back towards him.

  He thought about it silently. "I think the best thing we can do is tell the truth. We have a dead person and multiple men who sustained injuries inside that house. The police are already involved. They'll eventually figure out that your brother is no longer missing. Perhaps if we go to them they'll be willing to work with us. First, we'll have to get our story straight though." The next couple of days were going to be a mess, but hopefully things would work out in their favor.

  * * * *

  The day after Adrian had gotten him out of Daniel's hands, Jaxon talked to the officer in charge of his case. There were a lot of questions asked but everyone stuck to the story they agreed upon.

  Adrian spoke of his familial connection with Daniel and how he had been running from him for the past ten years. Jaxon listened and jumped in when he got to the part of Daniel targeting Jaxon to get to him, telling the officer had he was dragged from the comfort of his bed in the dead of night, a sack thrown over his head and taken to a house.

  He recounted his stay, speaking of each injury he sustained, and how he had gotten himself freed and waited for hours before hearing a commotion. Adrian they picked up the story to explain how he had come about shooting Daniel in self-defense.

  The officer listened in silence, nodding when appropriate and taking notes with necessary.

  After they had finished, Jaxon felt a moment of relief before the officer spoke. "So how it that you became is involved in this case, Mr. Santiago?" Jaxon wasn't sure how they would explain Melissa's going to Adrian nor why she believed him better equipped to deal with the situation then the cops, having been asleep for that portion of the conversation.

  Before Jaxon could think of something to say, Melissa answered the inquiry. "I met Adrian once before and was impressed with the security company him and a friend of his own. We spoke at length about it and the people whom he employs. When Jaxon went missing, I thought of Adrian and thought it was worth a shot. I had every faith that you and your men would find my brother, Officer Kelly, but it was my brother missing and every second that passed he could've been harmed. I mean, look at him, he had the crap beaten out of him already, who knows what that maniac would've done to him next?" Melissa lowered her voice, cocking her head and staring earnestly at Kelly until he nodded his head in sympathy.

  "I understand." he told her.

  Jaxon tried not to laugh. That look had always gotten Melissa whatever she wanted when they were in foster care. It had also created one too many problems that had resulted in them packing their things and being given back into the care of the system.

  Officer Kelly had asked a few more questions before letting them go, with a promise to call if they remembered anything else of importance.

  The next couple of days that followed were calmer. Jaxon cleared things up with his office, assuring them that all was well and he'd be fine to return to work in a few days. He had been to the hospital and though his injuries were indeed painful they were not as bad as he had first thought. His ankle was swollen, but due to a bad sprain, his ribs were bruised, his eyes weren't as swollen shut as they first were, having gone down in the last few days and his cuts were all beginning to scab over. The doctor had prescribed a mild pain medication but that was it.

  All in all, Jaxon was in great condition considering everything that had taken place.

  He wanted to get back to work as soon as possible, dreading the pile of work that had more than likely accumulated on his desk the past couple of days.

  He hadn't felt comfortable staying in his house just yet so his sister had offered to put him up for a few weeks until he felt he was ready. He would've taken her up on the offer except he knew that if he did, she would hover over him, wanting to take care of everything for him and never let him out of bed. So when Adrian told her not to be silly, that Jaxon was more than welcomed to stay with him, Jaxon had jumped at the offer, not really thinking of the consequences of staying in the same house with the man.

  It had been a week since Adrian had rescued him and in all that time neither he nor Adrian had managed to find a way to talk about the elephant in the room.

  What was going to happen between the two of them now?

  While lying in Adrian's guest bedroom last night, he tried to think of something to do. They couldn't continue to tip toe around each other, mumbling responses whenever they chose to speak to one another.

  There was not one time in the past when they had ever felt even an ounce of the awkwardness that they now shared. Jaxon knew that if they could just communicate properly for ten minutes they could get passed this and figure out what to do about the future. Jaxon already knew what he wanted, to not come home to an empty house again.

  Though what Adrian had done had hurt, he knew Adrian was only trying to protect him. It was stupid to think he had to make such a choice on his own, but they were both used to making difficult decisions and dealing with problems as they popped up to protect those that they loved. Jaxon knew, he's spent a lifetime doing what he thought was in Melissa's best interest, so while he was still annoyed, he couldn't continue to hold onto to anger when he couldn't fault Adrian for his actions.

  As he finally fell asleep, he had decided that he would bring it up at breakfast and let the pieces fall where they may.

  * * * *

  Adrian awoke to the smell of freshly brewed hazelnut coffee.

  Jumping out of bed he brushed his teeth and washed his face. As he headed down the stairs, he detected the smell of slightly burnt bacon, just the way he liked it. None of that icky fatty stuff for him, thank you very much.

  He smiled to himself as he hit the bottom step and stood there for a moment listening to Jaxon humming along with the radio he had moved into the kitchen his first morning here.

  Walking into the kitchen, he admired the view in front of him. Jaxon was bent over, looking in the fridge for something, his ass outlined in the thin cotton of his pajama bottoms. He wore no shirt and the naked expanse of skin revealed glowed in the soft light streaming in from the window invitingly. Adrian bit the inside of his cheek as he fought the urge to step forward and caress the wonderful man. Jaxon straightened, bringing the jar of jelly with him. Spotting Adrian leaning against the doorframe, he smiled.

  "Good morning. How did you sleep?"

  "Well. How about you?" he smiled back as he stepped up to the coffee machine and poured them both a cup, making his black and Jaxon's with two sugars.

  "I had troubled falling asleep at first but I guess exhaustion won out. I ended up sleeping like the dead." he chuckled as he brought the toast, butter and jelly to the table.

  Adrian set their cups down by their place settings and grabbed the plates of pancakes, eggs and bacon. "This smells great. Don't you know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach?" his breath stalled as he waited to see how Jaxon responded.

  Jaxon laughed as he sat down. Picking up his fork he said, "I have heard that somewhere, but I would hope I don't need food to help me get a man's love."

  Sipping his coffee, Adrian shook his head. "No, you don't."

  Taking a bite of his food Jaxon nodded. "Besides, hoping I've already have this man's heart." his words were spoken so softly, if it wasn’t for the way his entire being froze and he seemed to have trouble swallowing the food he put in his mouth, Adrian would've sworn he misheard him. He put his coffee down and rested his arms to either side of his plate. He waited until Jaxon finally raised his eyes before speaking.

  Reaching out, he placed his hand on Jaxon's where it lay beside his cup. "It never stopped belonging to you." his words hung in the air.

  Jaxon exhaled and turned his hand so that he was holding onto Adrian's. His eyes locked on Adrian's and he stared steadily into
them.

  "I love you, Adrian and I never stopped loving you. Being without you this last year has been torture. We only knew each other for a year before that, but it felt like a lifetime together, even though I know it's not. But I want it to be a lifetime together." His hand squeezed Adrian's.

  Adrian looked down at their entwined fingers, feeling like for the first time everything in the world was perfect.

  But it wasn't. Although Jaxon was willing to give them a second chance, he stilled deserved Adrian's promise.

  "I love you too. I never before let myself care for someone the way I do you. I've never even given myself to another person. No one was even half as deserving as you are. A part of me died when I left you and I thought I'd never get it back. Yet here you are, offering me that and more. I want you to know that nothing will ever make me leave you again. It was the worse decision I could make and I regret it for more reasons than you know. I'll always try to protect you, I love you, and I think that comes with it." he smiled as Jaxon chuckled softly.

  "And I'll always try to protect you. It's who we are Adrian; I think we both know that. But we need to talk about things, not just decide we know what's best for the other." Jaxon said seriously.

  "Yes. I know. I won't be making that mistake again, I promise. We'll work things out together, no matter how difficult life may become for us."

  Jaxon smiled. "We'll have each other, our friends and family. And that's all that matters."

  "I like the way that sounds. We’ll have each other. I like that a lot."

  Adrian stood pulling Jaxon up with him. Without hesitation his man stepped into his arms, letting out a contented sigh.

  Adrian's sigh matched his man's. Finally, they were both home where they belonged.

  They stood silently holding each other for a few moments.

  Lifting his head, Jaxon looked up at Adrian. Things had gone much better than he planned and he couldn't be happier.

  Well... One thing would make him a happier man.