beyond the grave 03 - a ghostly demise

by Kappes, Tonya

  “What was that?” Vernon stopped in the middle of his kitchen.

  “Granny sure does want to win.” I was pleasantly surprised at his bachelor pad. “Nice place.”

  The kitchen was decorated in brown cabinets. There was a large mahogany island in the center and at least eight barstools around it. There was no table or chairs so I moseyed up to the island and planted myself on a stool.

  “Your coffee smells great.” The scent of freshly pressed coffee beans hung around my nose.

  Cephus moved around the room, taking in everything like he was the one doing the detective work.

  When Vernon turned to retrieve the cream from the refrigerator, I gave Cephus my best mean face, pointed at him, and through gritted teeth, I silently warned, “Don’t you lay a finger on him.”

  “Fine. You’ll see.” Cephus left just like he appeared. Into thin air.

  “I know you like cream.” Vernon put the cup of coffee and the creamer container in front of me. “I don’t use a fancy creamer pot.”

  “Me neither.” I grabbed the container and twisted the lid off, pouring some cream in the black cup of joe, creating a milky drink.

  “So why are you here?” he asked.

  “I wanted to make sure you had a button from Granny. She’s been all over my ass about this election. She beat me to it.” I smacked the island top. “Did she invite you to the meet-the-candidate cookout tonight?”

  “No, she didn’t.” He took a drink. “I know the candidate. Maybe that’s why.”

  “It’s for the entire town and I’d love for you to be there.” I lifted myself up by my toes on the stool’s foot bar and planted my hands on the island. “You sure do have some lovely property.”

  “It’s been nice to come out here and relax after work.” He nodded.

  “You retired early, right?” I was starting to lay the groundwork.

  “I did.” He looked out the window over his property. “Do you want to go see how far the property goes?”

  “Sure,” I said, and took my cup of coffee and walked out with him through the back door, which was in the kitchen. “Are those the mountains that are situated behind the Sleepy Hollow Inn?”

  The land was beautiful. Breathtaking. His acres were rolling, and in the distance, you could see the mountains. Definitely not walkable distance, but it was nice to look at. Especially in the early morning like now, when the fog was still hanging over the peaks.

  “It is.” The steam rolled off his cup and around his head when he took a drink.

  “What’s that over there?” I asked, knowing what was in the weeded box.

  I walked over to the overgrown garden.

  “I used to have the best garden. That was another life.”

  Another life? I gulped.

  “I loved coming home after a long day of seeing patients and working in the garden. Digging in the soil. Watching seedlings grow.” There was pride in his voice. “I never even had to go to the grocery store for my vegetables. Fresh every night for dinner. Nothing I love better than a good plump tomato.”

  “It looks like you had a nice thing going.” I kicked one of the broken bricks and took a look-see in the weeds. Surely to God, if Cephus was in there, his fancy white, patent-leather shoes would still be there. Maybe not his bones, but the shoes. Well, I guess a killer would get rid of the clothes and body. “Why don’t you garden again?”

  “Nah. It takes a couple of years to get some of the vegetables going.” He cackled. “I might be dead by then.” He held his hand out. “I need a refill. Do you want a topper?”

  “Sure.” I couldn’t believe my luck.

  I handed him the cup and when he was out of sight, I jumped feetfirst in the garden and swept my foot along the weeds, exposing the earth below. I hurried up and down the dirt and weeds, searching for anything. I had almost given up all hope when something caught my eye.

  I bent down and noticed it was half-buried. I loosened the dirt around it and plucked it from the wet soil.

  “Oh my God,” I gasped and looked back when I heard the back door shut and Vernon walking back. “Cephus’s ring.”

  “What are you doing?” Vernon had a perplexed look on his face. He steadied a hot cup of coffee in each hand.

  I put the ring down and plucked a tiny tomato off the vine that was growing next to the ring.

  “I saw this tomato. See, you can start your garden again.” I put the tomato on a falling brick. “I gotta go.”

  “I thought you wanted a topper?” Vernon held out the cup.

  “I didn’t realize the time.” I tapped the imaginary watch on my wrist. “See ya tonight!”

  My heart was about to pound out of my chest. I tried to steady the hearse at a normal speed down Vernon Baxter’s driveway and not let my nerves control my foot. My foot had other plans and the hearse gave in.

  I shot the juice to it and zoomed right out of that driveway.

  “Oh my God! I’ve got to call Jack Henry.” I held on to the wheel with one hand and felt around the passenger seat for my phone with the other. “Jack!” I screamed with joy when I saw his Sleepy Hollow cruiser, lights flashing. He was corralling the goats with his baton in one hand and his other arm extended.

  “What the hell?” Jack dropped his hands when the hearse came to a sliding halt.

  It was all the goats needed to make a run for it, right across the street, up the hill, and into Dottie Kramer’s garden.

  “Shit,” Jack Henry spat. He was so mad, his cheeks reddened. “You better have a good reason to come to a screeching stop.”

  “Jack . . .” I threw the door open and raced over to him. I gasped, “Vernon . . .” I bent over to try to catch my breath. My heart was pounding so hard and I was so scared, my nerves were tingling. I couldn’t breathe. “Vernon Baxter murdered Cephus Hardy.”

  “Stand up. Take a breath.” He encouraged me to calm down. “What is this nonsense about Vernon Baxter and murder? I thought we were looking at Terk Rhinehammer?”

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” I quipped. “Cephus told me the last person he talked to was Vernon Baxter in Vernon’s vegetable garden. Next thing he knew, he was dead. So I went over to see Vernon this morning, using Granny as an excuse and, long story short, got in the vegetable garden.”

  I pointed to my ring finger.

  “Cephus Hardy always wore a gold ring with a large, square, black onyx in the middle. More onyx than gold. He never took it off.” I took another deep breath. My nerves were starting to settle down. “I found the ring in the garden. Hand to God.” I put my hand on my chest and made a crisscross.

  “Are you sure?” he asked.

  “I’m dead positive. It was the ring.” I nodded.

  “Jack Henry Ross!” Dottie Kramer ran out her front door with a hairnet on her head and waving a rolled-up newspaper. “If you don’t get these damn goats out of my garden and arrest Sanford Brumfield, you’re gonna have a killin’ on your hands. Him and them damn goats. You hear me?” She shook the paper in the air and proceeded in her housecoat over to the garden, where she swatted at the goats.

  Jack Henry threw his hands up in the air.

  “I’m done with this. Please go tell Sanford to get over to Dottie Kramer’s and round up those goats.” He jumped in his squad car without even saying thank you or kissing me bye before he took off.

  “Told ya he was a murderer.” Cephus appeared with his hands behind his back and swayed. He was so proud.

  “I still don’t know why he would do it. What was in it for him?” If he was going to say Leotta and those kids, I would have died right there and joined him.

  “I don’t know. Just know he did it.” He followed me back to the hearse.

  I put it in gear and made my way up Sanford Brumfield’s driveway to find him hooking up the hitch of the trailer to his truck.

  “I know, I know.” Sanford muttered. “Don’t you think that crazy broad has already called me? Hell, I can hear her screaming from across the way. She di
dn’t need to use the phone.”

  “She’s really mad.” I shut the hearse door behind me and moseyed up to him. “Wouldn’t you be mad if someone ruined years of hard gardening work in just a couple minutes. Goats can be disastrous.”

  “Don’t you think I know that, Emma Lee. What are you? The undertaker or the Mr. Green Jeans?” He shook his head, still bent over, and looked at me. “I’m sorry. But I know someone is letting these goats out and I don’t know who. But I will figure it out.” He tapped his temple. “Mark my words.”

  “You need to make it right with Dottie Kramer first.” I suggested, “What about a nice dinner out? That would be a good gesture, seeing she doesn’t have much to eat now.”

  Sanford grumbled, then jumped in his truck.

  “Bye now.” I waved, hoping to get a smile, but there was nothing doing.

  Sanford was on a mission to find out how those goats got out and I was on a mission to find out why Vernon Baxter would kill Cephus Hardy.

  “Can we go now?” Cephus asked. “Head on back to the Watering Hole so you can have an ice-cold Stroh’s and I can get a whiff?”

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, and planted my hands on my hips.

  “Whatcha mean?”

  “I found your ring. And I’m sure Vernon is in custody. So . . .” I twirled my finger in a complete circle in front of him before I jutted it up to the sky. “Get going! And”—I pointed directly at him—“don’t be telling anyone else about me. Ya hear?”

  Cephus looked up. He stared long and hard, making all sorts of faces.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “I’m trying to get up there, but nothin’ is happenin’.” He grunted a few more times and bore down like he needed to go to the bathroom. He stood back up. “See. Nothin’.”

  Chapter 12

  Shit, shit, shit!” I beat the wheel and hurried myself back to Vernon Baxter’s. “I told you he didn’t kill you. If he had, you wouldn’t still be here.”

  I glanced in rearview, looking at Cephus as he contemplated my words.

  “If he killed you, your murder would have been solved and you would have crossed over. Well, after you say good-bye to your loved ones you will cross over. But your feeling of being free will be felt when we figure out who murdered you.”

  “Oops.” Cephus shrugged like we hadn’t just ruined someone’s day . . . life.

  “Oops? Oops!” I screamed, and beat the steering wheel a couple more times until my palm hurt.

  I was so mad, I wasn’t sure how I was going to explain this one. “I should’ve never listened to a drunk.”

  “I . . . I . . .” Cephus disappeared.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” I muttered into the air. “Sort of didn’t mean it.”

  I did mean it. I knew that Vernon Baxter was no killer, no more than Granny . . .

  Something snapped in my head. Images of the nasty breakfast food I thought she was going to feed the Inn’s customers and thought maybe it wasn’t for the Inn. I bet she was going to feed the goats. I bet she let the goats out and put that feed in Dottie Kramer’s garden. That was why Granny was on this road.

  “Hi, Granny,” I said when she answered my phone call. I pulled back into Vernon Baxter’s driveway so I could stop Jack Henry from arresting him. “How are you this morning?”

  “I’m fine, dear.” Granny was as nice as pie. “Did somebody kick the bucket?”

  “No, why would you say that?” I asked.

  I knew exactly why she would say that. Because she saw me this morning on the back road on my way here and didn’t act like she saw me. The only real reason I would be on that road would be to pick up a client.

  “You are up awfully early.” Granny was good with her comebacks.

  I got out of the hearse when I didn’t see Jack Henry’s squad car, but Vernon’s car was there.

  “I just wanted to call to make sure you didn’t need anything for your Inn guests this morning.” My own nicey-nice was making me sick. Granny taught me best. She’d say that honey catches more flies than vinegar, meaning, you can get what you want out of people by being nice and not pissy.

  I knocked on Vernon’s door.

  “Cut the crap, Emma Lee, and getting all cattywampus on me.” Granny’s tone turned. “You know and I know we saw each other this morning. What were you doing out on that foggy back road this morning?”

  “I could ask you the same thing.” I knocked louder and put my other ear to the door. There weren’t any footsteps. I hooded my eyes with my free hand to see if I could see Vernon inside. My gut dropped. Jack Henry had taken him in. “Damn.”

  “Emma Lee Raines, what did I tell you about that cursing?” Granny was throwing a little bit of a hissy fit.

  “Stop your conniption.” I stomped back to the hearse. “I’m on my way over there to talk to you about why I think you were in the country, so you better get your story straight.”

  I hung up the phone before I could hear her tell me what was what. I knew what was what and I knew she would do anything to get a vote. Even if it was from Dottie Kramer.

  I’m wrong about Vernon Baxter. I texted Jack Henry. My friend is still here with me, which means nothing has been solved.

  Playing with someone’s life isn’t a joke. He texted back. Even his text tone gave me pause.

  Jack Henry was mad. I could see him now, sitting across from Vernon Baxter asking all sorts of questions about a missing man that everyone believed had left on his own.

  Unfortunately, there is probable cause with the ring. He has a warrant out for his arrest on past parking tickets from Lexington, so I’m keeping him for at least 24 hours. And he’s lawyered up, Jack Henry sent. I’ll call you later.

  The text didn’t sound like Vernon was a Boy Scout. He might not have murdered Cephus, but there was something there and maybe Cephus knew about that. Though I did recall Cephus telling me he had gone to see Vernon about Leotta. He used the term knocking boots. It wasn’t a secret that Vernon Baxter had been an eligible bachelor since he lived in Sleepy Hollow. In fact, I would have fixed Granny up with him instead of Doc Clyde.

  The carnival was completely set up when I passed on the back side of the square. I avoided driving around the square since it was prime breakfast time and I knew everyone would be out, walking to work or going to Higher Grounds to get a cup of coffee.

  I parked the hearse in the lot across the street from the Inn. It was the square’s parking lot and convenient so I didn’t take up the guests’ spots in the Inn’s lot.

  It was the same picture every morning. The rocking chairs were occupied. Each guest had a cup of coffee and rocked back and forth talking, with the other guests. The fog had burned off, the sky was baby blue, making it a great day to walk around the first day of the carnival or hike to the caves. It was a beautiful time of the year and busy for everyone.

  “Good morning,” I greeted an Inn guest on my way in through the screen door.

  The room on the right was filled with more guests, who were either waiting for a table for breakfast or enjoying the continental breakfast goodies from Higher Grounds.

  “Granny?” I pushed the door to the kitchen open.

  Granny’s normal flaming red hair was doused in flour. She held a bowl in the crock of her elbow and was viciously stirring with her other.

  “I’m busy. Can’t you see that?” Granny was in no mood for me to question her.

  “Tell me.” I saw the same bowl on the counter that had that strange berry mix. There was a piece of tin foil covering it. “Did you put the mixture in Dottie’s garden first for Sanford’s goats to find after you opened their gate? Or did you open the gate and tempt them over to Dottie’s garden?”

  “Now.” Granny put her hand with the spoon covered with batter mix on her hip. It dripped on the floor. “I know how this politicking stuff works. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. A vote is a vote.”

  “And Sanford is voting for you.” I remind
ed her of his loyalty. “You are causing him to get fined and make an enemy out of his own neighbor.”

  “Dottie Kramer thinks she’s all highfalutin out there with her little vegetable garden and going around telling everybody she’s voting for O’Dell Burns.” Granny started stirring again. This time a little faster. Her words flew, “I’ve got to beat O’Dell Burns. And every vote counts.”

  “But why are you having the goats eat her garden? That makes no sense.” I took the foil off the bowl and looked in. “Yuck.” My face contorted.

  “Put that back on.” Granny shook the spoon at me and went back to mixing. “The less you and that nosy sheriff boyfriend of yours know, the better off I am.”

  She set the bowl and spoon on the counter and walked over to me. She leaned in, her nose almost touching mine, her eyes squinting.

  “Do you hear me, Emma Lee?” She growled, “Stay out of it. You never saw a thing. You don’t know a thing. You ain’t too old for me to jerk a knot in you.”

  “Okay. But don’t come calling me when they figure out it was you and put you in jail right next to Vernon Baxter.” I slammed my mouth shut when Vernon’s name spewed out of my mouth.

  “Vernon Baxter is in jail?” Granny jumped back. “He has the personality of a dishrag. What did he do? Use too much embalming fluid?”

  “Nothing. He did nothing.” I could kick my own butt for letting that slip out.

  Granny was my granny, but Granny was still a gossip, just like every other breathing, breasted woman in Sleepy Hollow.

  “We’ll see about that. I bet Beulah knows about that.” Granny flung her hands up in the air, sucked in a big breath, and bent down to the floor, doing her best to touch her toes. “I’m a bit stressed. I think I need to make that early yoga class over at Hettie’s new place.”

  “I don’t think you do, Granny.” I shook my head. I knew what was going to come out of her mouth next.

  “You don’t mind.” She untied her apron and handed it to me. “You don’t have any funerals to tend to. It’ll only be an hour or so.”