The Thunderproof Sky

by Loretta Lost

  That was enough for me.

  That will always be enough for me.

  Even if someday, I never wake up.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “We are almost there, sir,” says the limo driver, with his Urdu accent.

  “Thank you, Ejaz,” Cole says. He turns to me, shifting uncomfortably. “Okay,” he admits. “Maybe it’s a little awkward. But that was almost a decade ago, I’m sure he’s over it.”

  We are in the car approaching Levi’s house, after flying for several hours from Switzerland. We both spent a good portion of all those flights and drives napping, or working. We are both exhausted, and just looking forward to reaching our final destination, and getting settled in somewhere we can stay semi-permanently.

  “Sorry that Serena nearly banged him on the couch, just to piss you off.”

  “It’s alright. I deserved it.”

  “You didn’t. I was just really messed up, back then,” I say, reaching for his hand.

  “Me too,” he says, “majorly.”

  “Maybe we can talk to our new therapist about it,” I tease.

  He laughs. “I’m sure there are more pressing concerns than our tumultuous teenage years.” He brings my hand up to his lips and kissing it. “We are way past that, now.”

  “Totally. Look at what evolved, mature, secure adults we have become.”

  “I’m sorry I put you through all that, Snow.”

  “You know how you always said she was addicted to sex? Dopamine. What if you’re wrong? What if she was addicted to me? To that feeling of death, complete escape. What if she always wanted to be gone, like she is now? She wanted me to take control, and sex was just my trigger. Her way to access me.”

  “Then I still must be partly responsible for making her feel that way,” Cole says, and his eyebrows grow knitted. “I must have made her feel the same way when I put her in the psychiatric facility. Like I was shoving her away.”

  “Yeah. I think so.”

  “If I get a chance to see her again, I’ll treat her better. I promise.”

  “Good.”

  “Mr. and Mrs. Hunter, we have arrived at the estate of Mr. Levi Bishop,” says the taxi driver. “The servants will collect your luggage.”

  Cole and I are surprised and startled when people open the car doors on either side of us. Doormen. Dressed in uniform, with white gloves and gold tassels.

  “What the fuck?” Cole asks, as he steps out of the limo. He looks up at the house in astonishment, and points. “This is where Levi lives?”

  When I step out, my jaw grows slack. We are standing in front of a small palace.

  “I pay him well,” Cole says, “but I don’t pay him this well.”

  People have already taken our luggage up the stairs to the front entrance. “How many servants does he have? Maybe it’s a US Dollar to rupees thing?”

  Cole shakes his head. “I think this would still be an insane amount of US dollars…”

  “I know he did some sketchy side jobs sometimes.”

  “Yeah, I remember,” Cole says. “He’s been mixed in with motorcycle clubs and things like that, since he was a kid.”

  “Well,” I say, moving over to Cole, and nudging him coyly. “At least he won’t be offering me to crash on his couch. Get it? ‘Cause the couch is where…”

  “I get it,” Cole assures me, “and it’s too soon.”

  “At least it won’t be weird staying with him,” I say, gesturing to the palace. “There’s plenty of room.”

  “No kidding. He could probably invite my whole company to stay with him, and give each department its own wing.”

  “It’s still a little weird for me,” I admit.

  “I mean, he wouldn’t have invited us to stay if he wasn’t cool with both of us being here, right? He’s our friend, and he’s done a great job working for me, for a really long time.”

  “Well, maybe we should have discussed this before you accepted his invitation,” I say with a laugh, walking up the stairs. “Come on.”

  When we reach the top, Levi is exiting the building. He is no longer wearing the tight pants and leather jacket he always used to wear when he was younger. Instead, he has on more professional, adult clothes. I think those are linen pants.

  My leather loving Levi is long lost.

  In the next moment, a beautiful Indian woman exits the house and stands by his side. She greets us with a bright smile, and that immediately makes me feel better. A non-single, non-leather-wearing Levi seems much safer than the wild boy I used to know. Looks like he’s been experimenting with being a mature, evolved, secure adult, too.

  “Cole!” he shouts, stretching out his arms. “And Scar! You two look amazing, you haven’t aged at all.”

  “Bullshit,” Cole says with a laugh, hugging his old friend.

  “Thanks for having us,” I tell him, as I also give him a hug.

  “Anytime! Are you kidding? Cole’s money pays for most of this place, anyway,” he says, gesturing proudly to the structure behind himself. “I want both of you to meet my girlfriend, Priya. She manages the household and takes care of our two lovely children.”

  “You have children?” I say in amazement.

  “Yeah, can you imagine?” he says with a smile. “No woman could ever tie me down, until I finally found one who did. Being a dad is hands down the best part of my life.”

  “That’s wonderful!” I tell him, turning to Priya. “You must be a really special person if you could tame this wild animal.”

  “I wouldn’t say he’s perfectly tame, yet,” Priya responds with a smile. “But I’m working on it. Besides,” she says, moving closer to me and speaking in a soft voice. “I like a little wild animal in my man.”

  We both laugh lightly at this. “I know what you mean,” I tell her.

  “Do you?” Cole asks.

  I clear my throat. “So, Levi—don’t tell me you have traded in the motorcycles for minivans?”

  “My good lady, there are some lines that a man simply cannot cross,” he responds. “I will drive the kids to soccer practice in the Jag or Escalade, but I still tear up the streets on my motorcycle as often as I can. It keeps me young.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” I tell him, but I’m a little puzzled. When I spoke to Levi’s father a while back, he said that Levi was still a playboy and still “breaking hearts” everywhere he went—but that doesn’t seem accurate at all. Something seems different about him. Also, Levi never did anything to break my heart, and always treated me with a lot of kindness.

  Maybe I just never got close enough to see his dark side.

  “So where are these children of yours?” Cole asks. “I want to meet the rugrats. How old are they?”

  “They are at school right now, being tutored in Chinese,” Levi explains. “They are quite tiny, but they have big personalities.”

  “I honestly can’t believe this,” Cole responds in shock. “How did you never mention them to me before?”

  “Oh, you know, man. I’m a very private person, and every time we talk, it’s mostly business, and it always feels like life or death. I don’t do any kind of social media, so many of my friends are shocked to hear that I have kids. But I feel like I get to enjoy my life more by keeping it to myself.”

  “Why are they learning Chinese?” I ask.

  Priya laughs. “It’s the cool things all the kids in Pakistan are doing, these days. The country’s relations with China are great, so everyone wants to speak Mandarin. Even kids in elementary school. But then you go to China, and everyone speaks English,” she says with a roll of her eyes.

  “It sounds like you’ve traveled a lot,” I say to her with a smile. “And it’s amazing that you guys are taking their education so seriously—it must be way easier to pick up languages at their age.”

  “Too easy,” Priya says, shaking her head. “Now they are running around speaking Mandarin all day, and I have no clue what they’re saying!”

  “Where are ou
r manners?” Levi asks. “You guys just flew in all the way from Europe! Let’s show you to your rooms, and let you get settled in. Then we’ll give you the grand tour of the house, and the grounds. Come on!”

  As we follow behind Levi, I lean over to Cole and whisper. “Grounds?”

  He shrugs, as if to say: I have no fucking idea what is happening.

  When we enter the house, Cole has to pause and breathe in deeply. He points up at the ceilings. “Indo-Gothic architecture.”

  “I knew you were always a fan,” Levi says. “When I saw this house, I thought—Cole would love it. I couldn’t resist buying it, and always hoped I’d get a chance to show you someday. Are you two hungry? Priya is an amazing cook.”

  “We ate on the airplane, but…”

  “I’ll whip something up,” Priya says, walking away. “We grow the spices right in the garden, the food tastes so fresh. You will love it.”

  “Thanks,” Cole says. “I can’t wait to try it!”

  We continue following Levi upstairs, and through a corridor. He finally gestures toward a stunning bedroom, filled with romantic red silk fabrics. “So there’s this room,” he says, “if you like it…” He moves down the corridor a bit and gestures to another bedroom. “But we also have this one. It’s a similar design, but navy blue.”

  “The rooms are adjoining, through the bathroom, kind of like for a brother and sister,” he says. “I never know what kind of mood you guys will be in—whether you’re pretending to be siblings or spouses today. Either way, you have multiple options.”

  “Ouch,” Cole says. “I guess we deserve that.”

  “You deserve that,” I correct.

  “And both of the bedrooms are suites,” Levi says. “So there are also some couches. I know how much you like those.”

  He says this with a wink at Cole, and I can’t help laughing.

  Cole glares at me, and I shrug.

  “This is the Levi I remember,” I say fondly.

  “Just how well do you remember me?” he asks, in a bit of an odd way.

  “We will only be needing one room,” Cole tells his friend. “We’ve decided to be together for real. No—I’ve decided that I’m going to stop wasting time and lying about how I feel, and making excuses. It was wrong of me to behave that way for so long.”

  “Lucky us,” Levi says, “but you already caused enough damage behaving that way, didn’t you?”

  “I’m sorry,” Cole says, “but I’m trying to do better. I recently proposed to Scarlett, and we’re going to get married again, as adults.”

  “I see,” Levi says, and he frowns and hesitates. “Cole, do you mind if I speak to Scarlett in private?”

  “No, go ahead,” Cole says, but I can see that he is uncomfortable.

  “Is that really necessary?” I ask. “I’m sure that anything you need to say in front of me can be said in front of Cole.”

  Levi smiles. “Isn’t she amazing, Cole? So concerned about your comfort. So sensitive and afraid to upset you. It’s a shame you didn’t show the same sensitivity to her—or any of your friends—when you faked your own death for no good reason. Did you know I thought you were dead? We were supposed to have a conference call, that day—and you never showed up. I had to learn from my father, much later, that it was some kind of elaborate prank. You didn’t even let me know. And I fucking cried and grieved for you. I lit candles and shit.”

  Cole clears his throat. “I’m sorry, Levi…”

  “And obviously, you didn’t tell Scarlett either. That’s why I got a phone call from my dad with him crying about watching Scarlett nearly kill herself at your funeral—”

  “Okay, okay,” I say softly. “Let’s speak in private, Levi. Just stop rubbing our faces in it. It’s been a difficult few months, for both of us.”

  “I was just trying to point out to Cole that there’s nothing I could ever say or do to you that could rival the damage he’s already caused. But congratulations on your engagement!”

  “Let’s just step into the red bedroom,” I tell Levi. “It looks like your servants already placed my luggage there. Give me minute, Cole.” I walk forward into the room, examining all the gorgeous furnishings, paintings, and bedding. Everything matches perfectly.

  Levi walks into the room behind me, and closes the door.

  For some reason, I find myself a little scared to turn around. “That was uncalled for, Levi. Attacking him like that. He feels pretty bad.”

  “He’ll get over it,” Levi says. “I’m pretty sure we’ve both said far worse to each other.”

  Levi stares at me for a minute before stepping forward. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

  “Yeah,” I tell him softly, with a small smile.

  “What is this necklace you’re wearing?” he asks.

  I lift the bones between my thumb and forefinger. “The atlas vertebra sits at the base of the skull, holding up the whole world of our brains, our thoughts, our feelings,” I explain.

  “That’s fascinating,” he says, stepping closer.

  “So did you hire someone to decorate all this?” I ask him. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah, I did. Everything in this room is scarlet red,” he says, stepping closer to me.

  I swallow, wondering if this is going where I think it’s going. “Priya seems really nice.”

  “She’s just a glorified nanny and housekeeper.”

  When he takes another step toward me, I step backward. “Levi…”

  My blood starts pumping madly in my ears. I find my body growing prepared for a fight. After all, Levi is the person who taught me how to fight. But instead, he reaches out and gently touches my arms. He tenderly encircles my elbows with his hands, squeezing gently, and lowering his head. He presses his forehead against mine.

  “I missed you so much,” he whispers. “You promised you’d come back to me. Do you have any idea how hard it’s been waiting?”

  I am frozen in confusion. Has Levi ever been so tender with me? I am about to speak when I feel his lips against mine. He kisses me so deeply that I don’t even realize that he is lifting my body and putting me on the bed, and hiking my skirt up around my waist.

  “Wait—wait, Levi. Stop—”

  He is in the middle of unbuttoning his linen pants when he pauses, noticing the expression on my face. “Savvy?”

  I am sitting here hyperventilating, with my eyes wide. “What are you doing?” I ask him. “Cole just said…”

  “I don’t understand,” Levi says in confusion. “Savvy?”

  I take a deep breath. “Why are you calling me that?”

  “This isn’t funny,” Levi says, stepping away from me, with hurt on his face. “I was confused enough when Cole asked if he could crash here, and bring you along. I thought this was your way to get back to me. I’ve been waiting for years, Savannah. You promised you’d come home, in all those letters you wrote—and when you’re finally here, you bring Cole along?”

  “Levi,” I say softly, slowly. I stand up, reaching for his shoulders, and looking at him dead in the eyes. “Who the fuck is Savannah?”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “I’m so sorry, Scar,” Levi says, backing away from me, with a horrified look on his face. “I thought you were someone else. I had no idea—I never thought…” He swallows. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, it’s okay,” I tell him. “But can you just tell me who Savannah is?”

  “I feel awful,” he says, and his hands are shaking. “I feel so awful. I really hoped…”

  “Levi, you’re my friend,” I whisper. “Can you please talk to me?”

  He shakes his head in refusal. “Maybe later. It’s too painful right now.”

  With that, he turns and walks out of the room. I move back to sit on the bed, and stare into space for a while in confusion. I reach up to touch my lips, trying to understand the feelings and thoughts, and extremely foggy memories swirling around in my mind.

  “What happened?” Cole
asks a few seconds later, upon walking into the room. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  “I don’t know… he just kissed me and called me Savannah.”

  “He kissed you?”

  “Don’t—don’t get upset. There was probably some reason. I probably did something I don’t remember.”

  “We’ll ask the therapist for help,” Cole suggests immediately.

  “Have I ever told you anything about a Savannah? Have you ever met her?”

  “No.”

  “He said I’ve been writing him letters, Cole. I don’t remember any of that.”

  Cole hesitates. “This is a little weird, but… Maybe you could go undercover and pretend to be Savannah. See if you can find the letters and investigate.”

  “He was touching me, Cole. Like, a lot. Are you comfortable with that?”

  “Are you comfortable with it?” Cole asks. “I’m not thrilled about it, but it could be valuable to learn about Savannah. Your mental health comes before everything else.”

  I shake my head, feeling strange about this. “You know what I said earlier about Serena not being addicted to sex?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, maybe I am.”

  “You definitely are,” he responds. “I have the bruises.”

  “Shut up, I’m not being funny here. I rejected that idea about Serena, because she didn’t really have a lot of sex. Or even if she did, she wasn’t present for it. I was. I was the one who was always there, doing all her dirty work. I had to finish everything she started, no matter what crazy shit she started. I didn’t really make the decisions—I just went along with the flow of things.” I hesitate. “I don’t know if I can manage to go undercover and pretend, because if he starts touching me, I’ll have trouble stopping him. I genuinely like him—or feel drawn to him, or something. Just now, I even had trouble shoving him away. But if I didn’t make him stop, he would not have.”

  “It sounds like Savannah and Levi were really close,” Cole says with disappointment. “But it doesn’t matter.” He lifts his shirt, and points to the compass tattoo. “I have a prediction for you. If I ever do meet this Savannah, I’m going to win her over, and get her to like me better than Levi.”