Freedom to Love

by Ronica Black

  He did so and then helped her with the Adidas slip-ons. He packed up her clothes, along with her watch, necklace, and other belongings, and opened the door for her. Gently, he led her by the elbow and they smiled at passersby, including nurses. When they reached the elevators, he stopped.

  “We better take the stairs,” he said.

  “Why?”

  She was feeling a little weak, but she took a deep breath.

  “Like I said, reporters.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “Vander, this story is huge. Whole county’s up in arms.”

  She followed him to the stairs and leaned on him all the way down. When they reached the bottom, she was sweaty and dizzy.

  “Stay here,” he said. “I’m going to go pull my car around back.”

  She nodded and leaned against the wall. Murph was right; she probably shouldn’t be leaving, but damn it, he was keeping something from her. She needed to see Damien and she needed her own bed and…she looked toward the door, hoping for Murph. She needed information. All kinds of information. What all wasn’t he telling her?

  She opened the door and shuffled toward the back of the hospital. People stared, but she brushed them off. When she found a door that said no exit, she pushed through. Murph’s white Dodge Challenger grumbled toward her, and he was cussing at her and rounding the car to open the door. She didn’t hear a word he said, her mind too occupied.

  He closed her door and slipped inside behind the wheel. He fastened both their seat belts and put the car in drive.

  She looked at him point-blank. “Is Brynn Williams…okay?”

  He slammed on the brakes but said nothing.

  “Murph, fucking tell me. Tell me something. I’m dying here.”

  He sighed. “We don’t know. We can’t find her.”

  Kat leaned back and stared out the windshield at a darkening afternoon sky. Brynn had been the one to call and check on her; she was almost certain of it. It sparked warmth inside her, and she was desperate to know how she was, where she was. But Murph knew little, which meant Brynn was hiding out. She had an idea where, but she was too tired to think about it. Too weak to focus.

  “She saved my life,” she whispered and Murph drove on, to where, she didn’t know, and at the moment, she didn’t care.

  Kat awoke as Murphy pulled in her driveway. She was groggy but still insistent, this time about Damien.

  “I want to see Damien.”

  Murph sighed. “Another time, Kat. You can hardly walk as it is. Isn’t it enough that I brought you home?” He didn’t wait for an answer, just simply killed the engine and opened his door.

  “Then tell me what you’re hiding.” Kat closed her eyes, fought light-headedness, and before she knew it, she was startled at Murph opening her door.

  “Jesus, Murph, you’re like a ninja.” She waved him off and did her best to rise from the car. But halfway up she needed help, and Murph eased her to a stand without saying a word. She thanked him, hating that she needed the help. They headed toward the driveway door, Murph guiding her carefully while carrying her belongings.

  “You just need to rest. I’ll keep you updated on Damien. Right now, there’s nothing new to report.”

  Behind them, a Chrysler 300 pulled in with Margie behind the windshield.

  “You called her,” she said, knowing Murph all too well.

  “You shouldn’t be alone.”

  “Says who?” But truthfully, she was grateful. She loved Margie, and Margie was an even bigger softie than Murph. Margie would be her ticket to Damien.

  Kat turned again as another vehicle pulled along the curb. A news van. People spilled out, and a reporter was running straight for her. Thankfully, Margie headed her off, giving Murph time to unlock the door and help Kat inside. Immediately, she smiled and called for Gunner. When he didn’t come, she felt her face fall and her stomach tighten.

  “Where’s my dog?” She looked to Murph and then Margie who entered and locked the door behind her.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, reading her face.

  “My dog. Where is he?”

  They looked at each other in silence.

  “You don’t know?”

  Kat tried to brace herself, but she was falling fast, and Margie and Murph helped her to her living room chair. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. Her heart was racing and she was sweating again. She desperately needed a pain pill, but she knew she wouldn’t take it. She’d rather bite through the pain than have an opioid in her system.

  “Maybe a friend has him?” Margie said.

  Kat opened her eyes, Brynn Williams face in her mind. She’d asked Brynn to take him, but had she really done so? Was she a woman of her word? Would she really risk everything to come get Gunner?

  “I’m sure that’s it,” Kat said, no longer wanting to sound alarmed. She needed to talk to Brynn on her own to find out for sure. If she had been nice enough to care for Gunner, she didn’t want her to suffer any trouble for it.

  “I can make some phone calls,” Murph said. “Go and get him.”

  Kat stood. “No. I mean, thanks, but I got it. Maybe a couple of days without him would be best right now. I’m not moving so well.” She forced a smile.

  She shuffled through her home, curious about Brynn’s presence. What had she thought when she’d walked through? Where all had she gone? The living room was undisturbed and decorated in lakeside country charm with nautical blue walls, a cream-colored Clausen sofa, and sun washed tan grand chair. The reclaimed barn wood floors were antique softwood white. Her rug was Safavieh vintage turquoise. And most of her accents were beach woodcrafts she’d found on her visit to the coast. She loved decorating her home, and she found herself secretly hoping that Brynn had liked what she’d done. She continued to walk through, running her fingers lightly across her furniture, her thoughts lost in Brynn Williams and the idea of her presence.

  She eyed the table in her kitchen and the last pile of mail she’d received. And her sink held a dirty coffee mug and a plate where she’d last had her egg whites and toast. She should’ve tidied up better, but she had been running late that morning, unaware that her life would be shortly changed forever.

  Murph took her walking around as her needing something, and he searched her distressed white cabinets for a glass and poured her some juice. She waved it off, asking him to leave it on the table for later and headed for her bedroom. She knew it seemed silly, but thinking of Brynn in her home drew her there, and she stood and stared at her white duvet, blue distressed dresser and night table, and the large abstract painting she had hung above her bed. A half-empty bottle of water sat on her nightstand, along with a small stack of romance novels. Her skin warmed as she thought of Brynn thumbing through them. Not many people in town knew she preferred women to men, and she wondered what someone like Brynn would think. The thought stirred her inside in a way that she’d never felt before. Brynn possibly knew her secret. What would that mean? And how had it moved Brynn? Kat searched her mind, but she couldn’t come up with a reasonable answer. She couldn’t recall Brynn dating—ever. What did that mean? And more importantly, why did she care?

  “Everything okay?” Murph asked, entering the room, hands in pockets. Despite trying to sound casual, he still looked worried. God bless him.

  “Yeah,” she breathed. “Great.”

  “I feel really bad about Gunner. To be honest, I forgot you had him.”

  Her stomach knotted with the anxiety of his whereabouts. It was something she’d have to see to soon. “He hasn’t been with me long.” She’d rescued him a year ago and had never been more in love.

  “I stopped by,” he said. “Checked the house. I should’ve noticed he was gone.”

  “When was that?” she asked, curious as to when someone took him.

  “That first night.”

  She nodded, knowing then that it must be Brynn. There’s no way Brynn would’ve known her condition until later. So she must’ve prepared for t
he worst and taken Gunner. “Can you do me a favor? Can you check all the doors and windows, make sure they’re secure?”

  He nodded and left her side, and she sat on her bed and rubbed her duvet. Sunlight streamed through growing clouds into her window to warm her, soothe her. Her eyes felt heavy and her stomach was growling for food. She wasn’t used to feeling weak, to being down and out. She rarely took sick days, rarely relaxed with a movie on the couch. She spent her free time working on her Sea-Doos or out on the lake racing them, pushing them to their limits. And when she wasn’t doing that, she and Gunner were out on long hikes or bike rides through the mountain trails. She liked to push her body, to push herself, to see how far she could go, just like she did with her Sea-Doos. Trouble was, she didn’t know how to be under repair like her watercraft, various tools surrounding her, having dug into her and patched her back up. Unlike her watercraft, she had to heal, and the thought alone pissed her off.

  “Murph.” She stood and pulled back the covers on her bed. Like it or not, she needed to rest from her expedition from the hospital. She also needed to think. Damien was alive but probably not doing well, based on Murphy’s evasiveness. And Brynn Williams was on the run, most likely with Gunner, hiding out of fear.

  Murph entered the room, wood floor creaking beneath his feet.

  “I need to sleep,” she said. “But when I wake, I would like to eat.”

  He nodded.

  “Can you help me out of these sweats? I’m burning up.”

  “I’ll get Margie.”

  She sat again, unable to stand. Murph left and Margie entered and gently helped her undress.

  “I’ll bring all that food by later,” she said, slipping a sleeveless T-shirt over her head.

  “Don’t bring it all. I won’t be able to eat that much.” Kat eased into bed with a groan. “I hate this damn sling.” She looked to Margie and managed to smile through her grimace. “Thanks, Margie. For everything.”

  Murph appeared in the doorway.

  “You too, Murph. Thanks.”

  He made eye contact, and for a moment, she swore she saw him tear up. But when she blinked, the tears were gone and he sighed.

  He seemed embarrassed at her gratitude, and she lowered in the bed, Margie lifting the covers over her.

  “No need to worry, ya’ll. I’m fine.”

  They smiled. “You’re a strong girl,” Margie said, joining Murph by the door.

  “Everything’s locked up tight,” Murph said.

  “Anything unusual or out of place?”

  He thought for a moment. “The basement light was on.”

  “Really?” It had to be Brynn. She must’ve come in through the back door. It made sense. Simple doorknob lock, away from prying eyes. She was lucky that Gunner kept most everyone away. She hoped he hadn’t caused too much trouble for her.

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  She refocused. “No, nothing. I just realized which friend has Gunner. I’ll get him in a couple of days. In the meantime,” she said, pulling up the covers some more, “you guys can go. I’ll be fine.”

  “You need someone here to—” Murph started.

  “I’ll have someone,” she said quickly. “I’ve got ya’ll, and I’m calling a friend of mine tomorrow. I know she’ll come and stay.” Of course there was no such person, but she didn’t want them to worry, and more than anything, she wanted to be left alone. She could handle things. She always had.

  “Fine. But Margie’s gonna check on you later when she brings the food.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Her eyes grew heavier and they went out of focus.

  “What about your bandage?” Margie asked. “Do I need to tend to it?”

  “Mm. Bandage?”

  “Yes.”

  Her eyes flickered. “I’m fine, thanks.” She could take care of her own bandage. She knew first aid, and she had numerous paramedics as friends if she had questions.

  She closed her eyes, and a second or so later, she heard them close the bedroom door. As her body relaxed and her mind began to drift, she knew what she had to do. She had to go after Brynn and bring her in before she got in more trouble. It was the least she could do. After all, she’d risked everything to help her. And then she’d done it again when she’d come after Gunner.

  Kat knew she should tell her colleagues, but she also knew that the more of them that showed up, the more likely Brynn would be to run or to fight it. Bea might even go on the offensive, God only knew with her.

  Yes, that’s what she would do. And she knew exactly where to go. But first things first. She had to get to Damien.

  Her body exhaled, and the world and Brynn Williams drifted away.

  Chapter Five

  The cicadas, crickets, and night owls had just silenced as the sun came up on the mountain. Brynn lay very still, window open, dawn filtering in along with the remaining cool night air. She unzipped her sleeping bag and crawled from the old mattress and springs. She’d aired out the mattresses, beaten them with an oar, and sprayed them down with Lysol. Still, she had to cover them with blankets in order to quell the musty smell enough to sleep. Bea, though, hardly seemed to care. She’d gone off in the woods late in the night to no doubt snort her heroin, returning a short while later with a sloppy grin, shuffling like a zombie. She slurred her words and first passed out on the couch, then awoke and collapsed on the front porch, and finally on her bed. Brynn was sick to her stomach over it, and something had to change. She just wasn’t sure how.

  She rose and crept to Bea’s bed to check on her. She was on her side, one arm hanging from the bed, sleeping bag askew. Drool glistened from her cheek, and Brynn made sure she was breathing. Then, satisfied at her coma-like state, Brynn found her bag and searched through it. She found a baggie of pills but no heroin. She looked around the room. Pants. She plucked up her jeans and dug in the pockets. She found three small balloons which she quickly carried from the room. She removed the heavy wood lock on the front door and cringed when the screen door squealed. After closing it carefully, she hurried across the grounds to the woods where she dropped to her knees and dug with her hands. When she was satisfied with the depth of the hole, she dropped in the balloons and buried them, patting the ground flat and covering it with brush. Then she stood and wiped her hands on her jeans.

  She walked back to the cabin and considered doing the same with the pills, but she knew Bea would have to have something. Bea would be beyond pissed, but at least she would be alive, rather than passing out in the woods somewhere and getting lost. Or worse, overdosing where it was impossible to get help. At least this way the situation was more controlled.

  Gunner whined behind the screen as she stepped up on the porch. The woods smelled thick and rich, and she opened the door to let him out. He jumped on her leg, tail wagging. She scratched his head and they set off for a surveillance walk. They’d been there a few nights, and so far, things had been quiet. She’d parked a ways away and covered the car as best she could to help camouflage it. Gunner hadn’t been a problem, barking only when wildlife came up to the house. At night, he kept guard, sleeping by her side, ears perked. But during the day he liked to chase birds and squirrels, and he even went after the crawdads and fish she and Bea caught.

  “You like it up here don’t you?” He ran up to her with his tongue hanging sideways. He followed her as they climbed for an hour, coming to rest on some high rocks in a clearing. Brynn held out Bea’s cell phone and smiled when she got a signal. She dialed the hospital and waited. Hopefully, Vander would be alone this early. A receptionist answered and took a moment to search for her name.

  “I’m sorry. It looks like she’s no longer a patient here.”

  Brynn squinted into the rising sun, which was eating the morning mist, infiltrating the trees and ground. “Do you know when she left?”

  But the call dropped and she was disconnected. “Your mom’s home,” Brynn said, causing Gunner to look up at her. Shit, now she had to get hi
m back somehow. But how was more than a good question. According to Uncle Mo, the law was still crawling around like roaches who refused to die. Just when they thought they’d gone, they’d show up again, looking around, asking questions, making threats. Billy was beside himself and was convinced they were following him. She knew he was probably right.

  “How long can we do this?” she asked. She sat on a rock and studied the phone. Had Vander told her side of the story yet? What was going on?

  She got an idea, but her heart beat too fast to make sense of it. “Should I? Should I call your house?” she asked Gunner. What if it was a setup? What if Vander had told them she had Gunner and they were waiting for her to call? Would Vander do that?

  Of course she would. She was a cop.

  Brynn stared at the numbers, at the screen with the date and time. She swallowed hard and dialed, too curious to know how she was, if she was okay, consequences be damned. She had to know and she didn’t know why. She had no ties to Vander or any cop for that matter. So why did she care so much? Was it human decency or something more?

  She dialed information and asked for Vander’s home number. There was no listing.

  She ended the call and then dialed Holly, hoping for information. Holly answered on the third ring.

  “Brynn.”

  “Yeah. How are things going? They on to you yet?” Holly had lent her the car. It had been her father’s, and he was in a personal care home, so he wouldn’t miss it.

  “All is quiet with me. But ya’ll are all over the news.”

  “Still?”

  “Yes.”

  “What about Vander? Any word on her?”

  “She’s home.”

  “Is she—okay?”

  Holly paused. “I guess. Why?”

  “I’m just wondering why she hasn’t cleared us yet. Or at least made it safe enough for us to come in.”

  “I don’t know. I just know her partner is still critical. I think she’s been sticking by him. There’s footage of her leaving his hospital and she doesn’t look so good herself.”

  Brynn ran her hand through her hair. She was dirty and dying for a shower. As it was, they were bathing in the creek. Cold mountain water was great for some things, but early in the morning, you didn’t want to soak in it.