Freedom to Love

by Ronica Black

  “Murph, what’s up?” Kat said, answering the call.

  “Kat, we’ve got her.” He sounded excited, breathless, keyed up.

  “Who?” She scratched her head and looked over at Brynn, wanting to lick the come she felt on her fingers.

  “Williams. Bea Williams. You know? Hello?”

  Kat shook her head. “What?”

  “Wallace is bringing her in right now.”

  The realization sunk in, and she panicked and worried for Brynn. “Is she—okay?” She glanced back at Brynn who suddenly looked concerned.

  “Who? Williams?” He sounded incredulous. “She’s scuffed up, but Wallace is worse off. She fought hard.”

  Kat didn’t speak, just closed her eyes. “I’ll be right there.”

  “Thought you’d want to know.”

  “Thanks.”

  She ended the call, sighed, and ran a hand through her hair.

  “Is she okay?” Brynn asked, sitting up.

  “She’s uh…being brought in now. She fought.”

  Brynn crawled from the bed. “I’m going with you.”

  Kat hadn’t necessarily wanted to go, but she knew Brynn would insist. “You can’t. There’s not anything you can do.”

  Brynn grabbed her clothes and began dressing. “There’s always a way to help someone. And this is my sister, so don’t even try and stop me.”

  Kat watched her. Saw her determination and the red rising from her chest up to her face. She was upset and worried. But most of all, she was scared. She tried to hide it, but Kat could see it now. She could finally read her. But was it too little too late?

  Chapter Thirteen

  The car ride back from Charlottetown was heavy with silence. Brynn kept her eyes trained forward, afraid to look at Kat. The scent of her tantalizing cologne was all over her, and she fought closing her eyes and reliving what they’d just shared. But if she did, she’d lose it. Control, emotions, fear, all of it. She had to stay focused on Bea. Had to help her somehow. Would Kat help? Could she count on her? With a slap, she was again reminded of how different they were. Kat was a cop, her responsibility the law. She had a responsibility to protect Bea. Again, she wanted to look over, but she fought it and stared straight ahead, despite feeling Kat’s gaze skimming her every so often.

  “Are you okay?” Kat finally asked.

  Brynn’s skin came alive and heated with the sound of her voice. She recalled the feel of her strong shoulders and neck beneath her hands as she’d held on to her for dear life. The feel of those long, glorious fingers up inside her working magic. Brynn cleared her throat.

  “I’m not sure.”

  Kat drove on, and the thick wall of silence between them reformed. Brynn could barely breathe it was so stifling. Worry finally won out and she spoke.

  “Is she hurt?”

  Kat sighed, as if she didn’t want to tell her. “Murph said she was scuffed up.”

  “Oh God.” Brynn rested her head on her hand as she leaned against the door. “Great.”

  “I guess Wallace, the one who arrested her, I guess he got the worst of it.”

  Brynn took in a sharp breath. “God damn it, Bea. They’ll hold that against her, won’t they?”

  Kat blinked a few times quickly as if she couldn’t believe the question. “Yes.” She shook her head. “She resisted arrest and assaulted an officer. We don’t take that lightly.”

  “What if she was high and not in her right mind?”

  Kat flexed her jaw, and Brynn knew she sounded desperate, irrational. But she couldn’t help herself, she was grasping at straws. Bea couldn’t go to jail. It would be her ultimate failure as a guardian. Not to mention the danger her sister would be put in on a daily basis. She knew that threat firsthand and had spent quite a bit of time in isolation because of it. Isolation had saved her life and kept trouble from finding her.

  “She won’t survive prison,” Brynn said. “She just won’t.” Her bravado, her mouth, her bad attitude, she’d be toast. Brynn stared out the windshield at the waning lights of mostly countryside. People were in their homes, watching television, reading a good book, oblivious to pending charges or jail or a prison sentence. She longed to be one of them. Just for a night. Just for a minute. Long enough to close her eyes and take a deep breath.

  “Try not to worry,” Kat said. “Your sister’s tough. Hold on to that.”

  Brynn wanted to argue but couldn’t. Kat was right. Bea was tough. She was hard as a rock and stubborn. She used to wonder if Bea ever felt fear. Or ever had feelings of concern for anyone else. She knew the answer was probably no, but she couldn’t imagine that when those feelings were so strong in herself. Her eyes drifted closed despite her racing heart. The strain of the night was catching up to her. Stress always caused a fight-or-flight reaction in her, and then she’d crash, completely drained.

  She forced her eyes open and stared in a daze out the window. When Kat finally pulled into the station, she had to blink to regain reality. A tightness in her chest returned as they entered the building. She recalled the first night she’d been brought in by Kat herself. She’d been terrified yet determined and she’d refused to speak, not even to Kat who had tried to comfort her a little. For an arresting officer, she’d been polite, respectful. And Brynn soon had learned that none of them believed their story. They had known Bea was guilty, but Brynn wouldn’t own up to it. So they’d had no choice but to solely charge Brynn.

  “I don’t like this place,” Brynn said. Kat waved at an officer working the front desk, and he buzzed a door that let them in. They wound through the station and Brynn wiped sweaty palms on her jeans.

  Kat brought her to where she’d been questioned before and offered her a seat against the wall. Then she disappeared. Around her, uniformed officers came and went, and one even offered to get her a coffee. She declined and waited for what felt like hours. Then Kat appeared looking grim. “Would you like to see her?”

  Brynn followed her into the tiny interrogation room she’d been in before. Bea was sitting at the table, eyes wide, chewing on the skin around her nails. She stood when they entered.

  “Brynn.”

  “Are you okay?” They settled back down at the table, and Bea’s eyes shifted to Kat who took the hint.

  “You’ve got ten minutes, then she needs to go to holding,” Kat said softly.

  Brynn nodded. She wanted to hold her hands but didn’t take the chance that they were allowed. And whether she wanted to admit it or not, Bea most likely wouldn’t want to. She’d never been an affectionate person. Not even when it was for comfort.

  “Are you hurt?” She scanned her for bruises, but all she could see were superficial scrapes, mussed hair, and smeared eyeliner. Her sweatshirt was filthy and her nails were long and dirty. She needed a bath, a good scrub. And by the hollows in her cheeks, a good meal.

  She shook her head. “I’m fine.”

  “Where have you been?”

  “Around.” She motioned toward the mirror.

  Brynn looked back. “You should tell them everything, Bea. It could help you get a lighter—”

  “I’m no rat,” she said. She stared into the mirror with a hard set to her jaw.

  Brynn sighed. “What are you being charged with?”

  Bea rolled her eyes. “A lot. But they’re dropping some of it because of what we did for Sergeant Vander and her partner. I guess he’s doing better so that helps.”

  “Bea, you have to give them more. Something they can use so you won’t go to jail. This is your life.”

  “I won’t, Brynn. I can’t. Can’t you do something? Say something?” She looked desperate, like a wild-eyed animal caught in a trap.

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know. Tell them you told me to run. Tell them that I’m an addict. That I can’t help myself.”

  “They can hear everything we’re saying, Bea.”

  She sat back and banged her hand on the table. “Then fuck this. And fuck them.”

 
; Brynn shook her head, desperately trying to reach her. “Bea, it’s all up to you this time. I’ll say what I can, but this time it is solely on you.”

  Bea chewed off the tip of a fingernail and spit. Her eyes narrowed. “That cop, the one who arrested me, he scared me. It was self-defense. And the heroin…”

  “Drugs? You got caught with drugs?”

  Bea scoffed and looked away.

  “Bea?”

  “Don’t start, Brynn.” She started in on another nail, spit it across the room, and then shoved the sleeves up on her sweatshirt. Brynn recoiled at the sight of bruised inner elbows and various needle marks.

  “Oh, Jesus.” Brynn felt dizzy, nauseous. Who was this woman sitting across from her? They couldn’t possibly be blood related. Bea couldn’t possibly have been raised by her.

  “What?” Bea glanced at her own arms and then grinned. “This bother you? You always were the chicken shit.”

  “Bea, why?” She wanted to plead with her, grab her and shake her, fall to her feet and cry.

  “Why not? I mean, you really ought to get that stick out of your ass and have a little fun, Brynn. You have no idea how good it feels.”

  Brynn felt her own jaw tighten and rage began to boil her blood. “I guess I’ve been too busy taking care of your ass, going to prison for you, protecting you, feeding you, clothing you, keeping a roof over your head. I guess I’ve been too busy making sure you survive to worry about having fun with drugs.”

  Bea stared at her with steely eyes. “That supposed to make me feel guilty or something?” She rolled her eyes.

  Brynn had had enough. Tears gnawed at her throat and she was so angry she wanted to flip the table. Instead, she stood. “No. I don’t expect you to feel anything. Not anymore.”

  She stepped to the door, heard a buzz, and then saw Kat pull it open.

  “You okay?” Kat whispered.

  Bea laughed. “Oh, so this is classic. You desert me and you’re all cozy with the cop? Beautiful, Brynn. Beautiful.”

  “Enjoy prison, Bea.” She studied her long and hard. Bea would get beaten at first, yes, but then, honestly, she’d fit right in. Probably even help run the drugs. She belonged there, and Brynn had to finally accept it. “Somehow I know you will.” She walked through the door past Kat and headed for the front where she’d come in. Behind her, she heard Bea yelling at her as she was being walked to holding. But Brynn didn’t turn around. She was done. She was finally and completely done. Tears racked her body, but she swallowed them down and wiped her eyes. She refused to cry. Not anymore, not for Bea.

  She stopped at the door where the officer had buzzed her in. She breathed deeply.

  Someone touched her shoulder from behind. Brynn turned and found Kat looking at her with the most understanding look she’d ever seen. She fell into her arms.

  “I’ll speak to the D.A,” she said, holding her tightly.

  Brynn shuddered as she battled her tears. “No, don’t. She gets what she gets.”

  Kat pulled away. “You don’t mean that.”

  “I do. I’m done, Kat. I’m done. She belongs in prison.”

  Kat held her again. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

  Brynn pushed away and wiped her face. “No, I need to be alone. I just want to be alone.”

  “But, Brynn, it’s the middle of the night.”

  She left Kat standing as she walked through first one door and then the other, out into the humid night. She crossed the slick street and headed for the overgrown grassy shoulder. She need to walk, to cry, to think. And she needed to do it all on her own.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kat turned and sighed, fed up with trying to sleep. It was four forty-five, early morning. She sat up and slipped into clothes. Gunner jumped down and followed her into the kitchen. She switched on a low light and started the coffee. Her mind was still going ninety miles an hour, just as it had since the last time she’d seen Brynn walking out the door of the police station. She tried to ignore it, to push it away by going through the motions of a morning routine. But Brynn held fast in her mind, and Kat couldn’t take it much more.

  It had been weeks since she’d spoken to her. She’d left messages, driven by. Brynn had responded to none of it. Rumor was, Brynn was planning on moving away, going back to school, starting over. But her family was fighting it, somehow keeping her entangled in the drama on Williams Lane. Each time Kat had driven down the dirt drive, various members of the Williams family would surface out of dark spaces and meander over to the car. They never spoke, just walked slowly with hard looks like zombies hell-bent on cornering dinner. It freaked her out enough to stay in her vehicle, and her desperate glances at Brynn’s house produced nothing but Billy Williams glaring at her from the porch.

  If she could just see her and speak to her, share her own good news, Brynn would cheer up, she was sure of it. She sipped her coffee and scratched Gunner’s head. She’d been pretty low-key about her career change and possibly moving to the CID or Criminal Investigations Division. Though she was excited and thrilled, something else had come up, something she hadn’t expected. Another precinct wanted her, offered her a similar position in the city. At first, she’d thought about turning them down right away, but the more she thought about it, the more promising it seemed. Damien would never be able to return to work. His injuries were too severe, and he was having to learn how to do almost everything all over again. The good news was he was in good spirits and one hell of a fighter. He even had her betting with him on when he would be able to do what.

  Kat glanced out the window and saw daybreak. Gunner wagged his tail as if anticipating. She sipped her coffee and smiled at him, causing him to bark. He stood and danced, lifting one excited paw after another.

  “All right, boy, we’ll go.” She left the coffee and opened the door to the basement. Gunner descended like a mad man. She followed carefully and walked to her workbench. There, she changed into a bikini and surf shorts and tugged on her thin racing life jacket. Next, she fastened Gunner’s life jacket around him and opened the back door. He took off across the yard and out onto the deck. He barked at the Sea-Doo tied to the dock. Kat grabbed her backpack full of gear and snacks and slung it on.

  She closed the door behind her and walked onto the dock. Carefully, she stepped on her Sea-Doo, put down a towel for Gunner, and straddled the seat. Then she softly called Gunner who hesitantly stepped down in front of her. She lifted him into position and he settled and barked with excitement. She untied the watercraft from the dock, removed the key from her wristband, and started the engine. They took off, slowly at first and then faster and faster until the Sea-Doo was wide open, flying across the water. She smiled into the wind and mist. Gunner panted, ears back. She rode until she came to their special cove where she pulled in and killed the engine. She tied off on a tree stretching into the water, and she and Gunner waded onto the shore.

  They sat and ate beef jerky and stared out onto the water. A distant fisherman in his bass boat sat slumped in his tall chair. Kat shivered a little as the cool mountain water evaporated from her skin. She sat back and closed her eyes, wondering again if she could ever leave this town, this lake…Brynn. If she did, one thing was for certain, she’d have to have closure, she’d have to say good-bye.

  * * *

  Kat ran her hand through her hair and pulled into Williams Lane. She was freshly showered and dressed nicely for Damien’s welcome home party. And she was on a mission to find Brynn Williams. Damien and his wife were insisting Brynn come, and they had made it Kat’s responsibility to talk her into it. Kat hadn’t exactly argued about it, secretly excited at having a reason to go and find her.

  People looked out their windows and some stepped out onto their porch to eye the stranger in the small SUV driving down their lane. She waved but knew it was useless. The stares were not friendly. Regardless, she pulled into Brynn’s gravel drive and stared at the front porch. With a deep breath, she climbed from the car and hurried to the
front door. Behind her, she saw the zombies emerge from their dark spaces and head toward her. There were four of them and they looked more than pissed. They looked deadly. One carried a shotgun.

  The door opened. Brynn looked just as shocked as she felt. “Kat.”

  “Brynn, hi. Can I come inside?” She looked back; the zombies loomed.

  Brynn pushed hair away from her face. “Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Please? I need to talk to you.”

  Brynn pushed open the worn screen and stepped onto the porch. She waved the zombies off, but they didn’t stop.

  “Friends of yours?” Kat said with a nervous laugh. She tried not to stare at Brynn in cutoff jeans and a threadbare gray tank top. She’d been in the sun and her skin seemed to glow.

  “My uncle,” she said. “And his boys.”

  “Oh, well, they look…friendly enough.”

  “They’d eat your heart if they could.”

  Kat laughed nervously until she saw the serious look on Brynn’s face.

  “Can we go inside then? Talk?”

  Brynn sighed. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  “Why? I mean why do they hate me so much?”

  Brynn smiled. “Because you put me away, Sergeant. Don’t you remember? And your people put Bea away.”

  Kat felt herself heat. “It’s not exactly like that,” she said.

  “I know that. But they don’t. And they refuse to listen to me when I tell them otherwise.” They both stared back at the approaching men. “Don’t feel too bad. They just hate the law. It’s not specific to you.”

  “Oh, well, that’s nice to know.”

  “They’re very territorial,” Brynn said, staring ahead. “Don’t fuck with them.”

  “I don’t plan on it.”

  Brynn opened the screen door. “You better get inside then.” Kat hurried inside and stopped in the dim light. The house was frigid cold and smelled of cigarettes. Light tried to come through closed blinds, but it wasn’t enough for her to step confidently.