Pretend Married (A Billionaire Love Story)

by Nikki Wild

  “Why are you taking your bed over to dick head’s house? And your dresser and shit? You think he’s gonna allow your nasty old stuff in his playboy mansion? Aren’t you gonna be sleeping in his bed with him? And do you really expect him to put your cheap-ass Mr. Coffee maker and your Wal-Mart toaster in his fucking gourmet kitchen? Why are you even taking anything with you? Even your clothes…….won’t you be getting a whole new wardrobe worthy of a billionaire’s baby mama?”

  “You know what Michael? I think you’re just jealous. And bitter. I don’t know why you can’t be happy for me. I told you I would help you financially when Edward and I married and I meant it. But for some reason you just want to make me feel bad about myself and my good fortune. I never thought my own brother could be so selfish.”

  “And I never thought my own sister could be so blind to how much she’s changed from hanging around with such an amoral asshole. On second thought, you better keep your old stuff for when he ends your phony marriage and kicks your ass out. What do you even see in him beside his big bank account and evidently his even bigger dick?”

  “I won’t even dignify that question with an answer Michael. You’re just being gross!”

  The movers put the last of my things in the van, raised the ramp and bolted the door. I climbed into my Mercedes and wiped the tears from eyes. Michael looked the car up and down without the slightest attempt to hide the appalled expression on his face.

  “So now he’s letting you drive his fancy wheels around huh? That figures!”

  “Not exactly…….”

  “Not exactly? What do you mean not exactly? What do you call this?”

  “This is my car. Edward bought it for me.”

  “Your car!! Fuck Julia! Why am I not even surprised?! And you don’t see anything wrong with this picture?”

  “No I don’t! You’re not seeing the BIG picture Michael and I’m tired of trying to explain it to you. Your attitude proves you’re just jealous!”

  “And you’re just an empty-headed little Barbie doll – wearing her new Barbie wardrobe, driving her new Barbie car. Good-luck with your fucking new life Julia. I hope you and G.I. Joe will be very happy together in your new Barbie penthouse!”

  “Don’t you mean Ken? Barbie’s boyfriend is Ken you idiot!”

  “I don’t give a shit who Barbie’s fucking!”

  I started the car, stepped on the gas and didn’t look back. A new chapter in my life was beginning – with or without Michael’s approval. Fifteen minutes later I drove through the gate of my new home with the movers following closely behind me up the steep driveway. The garage door opened automatically with the remote control and I pulled inside.

  Some of Michael’s words hit a nerve. Was he right about Edward not really wanting my old junk in his house. What did I need it for anyway? Another nerve: Was he also right about Edward divorcing me and kicking me out? Did I secretly feel like I needed to hang onto my stuff in the event that that happened? My mind and heart begged me for answers.

  I instructed the guys to open the truck and lower the ramp. Then I climbed up into the back and selected only eight boxes for them to carry inside: Four boxes of clothes and shoes, and four boxes of personal items like books, photos and cherished childhood memorabilia.

  “Just set that stuff in the hallway. That’ll be fine. Thanks so much for your help guys.”

  Then I gave them an extremely large tip, courtesy of Edward.

  “Where do you want us to put the rest of your things Ma’am?”

  “I would like the rest of the stuff to be taken over to the Domestic Violence Thrift Shop on Grant Avenue please. Can you do that for me? Do you guys know where that is?”

  “Yes Ma’am. We’ll be happy to deliver everything there for you. No problem. We just need a signature on this invoice.”

  After I signed the paperwork, I watched the movers head back down the hill in their van and opened the gate for them to drive out. I felt good about my decision to give my stuff away to charity. I needed a clean start, and more importantly, I needed to believe in Edward.

  When I went inside the house Edward shouted to me from his office.

  “Hey Julia! I’m almost done here. Tell the movers I’ll be out in a minute to oversee everything!”

  I popped my head into his office and smiled.

  “No need. They’re already gone. We’re finished movin’ my stuff.”

  “They’re gone? How did they unload the truck so quickly? Where did you put everything?”

  “I only had them bring in a few boxes and the rest I told them to give away to charity?”

  Edward suddenly looked up from his paperwork with an expression of concern on his face.

  “You told them to give your possessions to charity? Why’d you tell ‘em to do that?”

  “It was mostly old stuff. Raggedy old furniture and junk. I decided it really wouldn’t look good next to all your beautiful things.”

  “But this is your home now too Julia. I want you to feel comfortable here.”

  “Don’t you worry about that Edward. I feel very comfortable here! Of course I couldn’t help but notice that the place could use a woman’s touch. Everything is so masculine around here. Perhaps this weekend I could go pick out a few pretty designer items……..like from those cute little trendy shops in Sausalito…….you know…… to spruce things up a bit?”

  “Sure. Yeah. I guess so. I do want you to feel at home……and if that’s what you really need to feel comfortable here then that’s fine.”

  “Well we do have to keep up appearances for that inheritance. Like when people come over. Your house should look like a female actually lives here don’t you think?”

  Edward seemed a little out of sorts. I guess it was going to take him a bit of getting used to having a woman around the house.

  17

  Edward

  It felt good working at my downtown office today. Things were feeling rather strange with Julia living at my house. She was still always a heavenly sight to behold. Nothing had changed in that department. I guess it was just her being there. After all, I was a happily single man who never had to answer to anyone for anything. A part of me wondered if I had acted too hastily in having her move in with me already. At least for now in the peace and quiet of my office I could enjoy a bit of solitude.

  Or so I thought. The door to my office suddenly opened and Julia appeared with my Starbucks in hand.

  “Here ya go Mr. Armani! Your usual venti latte just the way you like it; with an extra shot of espresso and a whisper of cinnamon!”

  “Julia! What are you doing here?”

  “When I got up, Nigel told me you’d already left for work. So I decided to come down too. I do still work for you don’t I?”

  “Yes of course you do. But you really don’t have to come in everyday now that we live in the same house and you can do a lot of your work from the home office.”

  “I figured that was true but I thought you’d get a kick out of me coming down and surprising you with your coffee. Were you surprised?”

  “Yes very. Thanks for thinking of me Julia. That was very thoughtful of you.”

  “Oooooh but you know what was the best part of all Edward? Driving that car into work! And parking it in the garage downstairs like the other business people do! It was incredible!”

  “If you’re trying to passive-aggressively make me feel guilty about you having to take public transportation down here for so long, you have certainly succeeded. I do feel bad about that and I’m sorry. I’m really starting to see what a crappy boss I was to you.”

  “Oh no Edward! I’m sorry! I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad. I just really love that car that’s all.”

  “Well since you’re down here, do you mind answering a question for me?”

  “Yes I am wearing panties, Edward you naughty boy you!”

  “No Julia that wasn’t what I was gonna ask you at all.”

  “You’re wanting a blowie?” />
  The sip of coffee I had just swallowed was suddenly propelled out of my nose!

  “Julia for god’s sake my question isn’t even the least bit sexual!”

  “It isn’t? Well that’s not normal… What do you want then?”

  “Earlier when I was looking through my appointment book I noticed you wrote a shit load of stuff in it. Stuff that isn’t even related to my business in any way. Why did you do that?”

  “Well I wrote in some things that I thought you might want to consider doing. And I think they are related to business. That is, if you consider your inheritance to be business. As your publicist it’s still my job to put forth the public image that will best serve you at all times. And right now that happens to be convincing the world that we are a real couple in love. That way when you propose to me and we marry, it will seem like a natural progression rather than something suspicious or strange that just came out of left field.”

  “So that’s why you wrote in the names of various five-star restaurants in the ‘evening appointments’ section?”

  “Exactly! And if you look at your schedule over here on this page, you’ll see two afternoon appointments that week with Madame Francesca?”

  “Madame Francesca? Where? Who’s she?”

  “She is our wedding planner and those are very important appointments. She is in high demand.”

  “Wedding planner? What the fuck Julia? I haven’t even proposed to you yet. You can’t be talking to a wedding planner when our engagement has not been formally announced yet?”

  “Oh don’t worry. I scheduled the appointments under a fake name. Nobody will be the wiser.”

  “Fake name? What name did you use?”

  “Brianna Doe.”

  “Brianna Doe? No……..that doesn’t sound phony at all!”

  “And also Edward, I was wondering if you had a caterer in mind for the reception. Oh and music! Do you like anybody in particular? I was thinking possibly John Legend if he’s available……”

  “Julia what are you fucking talking about? You’re sounding kinda crazy right now?”

  “Well it doesn’t have to be John Legend…….would you prefer Michael Bublé?”

  “No you’re missing the point! Why would either of those people be singing at our wedding?”

  “Well aren’t billionaires able to get pretty much anybody they want to sing at their weddings? If we were getting married for real, you wouldn’t spare an expense…”

  “Julia I wasn’t planning on having a lavish wedding at all. It’s just not necessary. Actually, I was thinking of a small private inconspicuous ceremony at the courthouse. Now the honeymoon is another story, of course. We can go anywhere you’d like; sky’s the limit on that! ”

  As I spoke, I watched every shred of Julia’s enthusiasm fly out the window. Her smile faded, her voice got quiet and her posture slumped.

  “Oh yeah. You’re right. It doesn’t need to be extravagant since it’s only the legality of it that’s important. I guess that does make sense. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I just got carried away.”

  I really hated taking the wind out of Julia’s sail like that but somebody needed to bring her back down to Earth. The last thing I wanted to do was have some huge media circus of a wedding. I pulled her over to me and gave her a reassuring hug.

  “Are you okay with all that?”

  “Yeah I’m okay. Really. Those ridiculously expensive weddings are just a giant waste of money anyway. Money that could be better spent on more worthwhile causes!”

  “There ya go! Now you’re talking like yourself. That’s the Julia I’m used to; the selfless Julia.”

  As I kissed her lightly on the forehead she stole the pen out of my hand.

  “I’ll call and cancel the appointments with Madame Francesca.” She relented as she scratched over them in ink.

  “I’d really appreciate that. Thanks Mrs. Doe.”

  18

  Edward

  “Thanks a lot Luigi. The place looks fantastic. I love all of your Armani food and wine displays. I think you’re going to do extremely well in this location.”

  “Thank you very much Edward. It’s always a pleasure doing business with you and your family. So sorry to hear about your grandfather’s passing. He was a fine world-class businessman. They don’t make ‘em like him anymore.”

  “I appreciate you saying that. Thanks again. He was certainly well-respected. I only hope I can do him proud. Please call me if you need anything at all Luigi.”

  “Will do! I think the Armani company is in excellent hands with you at the helm Edward!”

  I smiled and waved good-bye to Luigi as I exited the old brick Cannery Building out onto Jefferson Street. It was 7 o’clock on a Friday night and I was starving. I had already let Julia and Nigel know that I’d be coming home late tonight, so I decided to grab some dinner at Louie’s Pier 55; the supper club where Julia’s brother’s band played. I was hoping to not only catch their act but also to have a civilized conversation with Michael regarding Julia.

  I nabbed an inconspicuous table in an out of the way corner and ordered a double martini and a bleu cheese, Kobe beef burger topped with Portobello mushrooms. Michael and the other guys were still setting everything up for their gig and tuning their instruments. Just as I took an oversized bite of my burger, Michael headed my way. And just my luck, my table happened to be near the restroom. Naturally he saw me and stopped to give me some more attitude.

  “Well well well Mr. Armani…….slumming tonight are we? What brings you into a club that doesn’t require an exclusive six-figure membership fee?”

  “You really think I’m a snob don’t you Michael?”

  “Well aren’t you? You were born with a silver spoon in your rich mouth.”

  “Ya know I have to say I’m rather surprised at your level of prejudice. I would’ve thought that you, being a minority, would try harder to avoid that type of intolerant short-sighted thinking. I mean whatever happened to the old ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ proverb? Doesn’t that apply to everybody?”

  “Well since my sister works for you, I already have plenty of insight into what’s beyond your glossy cover. And I’d say your fucking book stinks!”

  “You may not like who I am or what I stand for but I still contend I’m not a slob. I don’t feel like I’m better than other people simply because I have money. But your sister on the other hand…..”

  I had Michael’s attention now. He pulled a chair out from my table and sat down in it defiantly.

  “What about my sister?”

  “Haven’t you noticed Julia becoming increasingly materialistic lately?”

  “Of course I have! And I don’t like it. She’s not acting like the sister I know and love. But I blame you for that!”

  “Well that’s where you’re wrong Michael. Don’t blame me. You know a person can have a lot of money and still believe that there are more important things in life. I happen to be of that mindset. And I think you are too. So we should be working together to help Julia see that, instead of working against each other.”

  “But it’s your fuckin’ money and lifestyle that’s changing her!”

  “There’s no denying that money has a way of changing people. I’m trying to be patient with Julia and cut her some slack while at the same time trying to keep her firmly grounded if that’s possible. It’d be easier if I had a little help from someone else who loves her and cares about her. You seem like a pretty reasonable guy who has his head on straight.”

  “I’m almost starting to think you might actually have my sister’s best interest at heart, but I still don’t like that pretend marriage bullshit!”

  “Hey I don’t like it either. That was my recently deceased crazy old grandfather’s idea, not mine. But lemme ask you this Michael: Put yourself in my place now. If you stood to inherit billions of dollars, and a beautiful wonderful woman like Julia was willing to help you get it by marrying you and having your baby
, would you say, ‘Thanks but no thanks’?”

  “Not on your fuckin’ life!”

  “Thank you. I rest my case.”

  19

  Julia

  I had been looking forward to this evening for the past couple of weeks and it was finally here. Tonight was the San Francisco Bay Gala. It was the social event of the season and I just couldn’t wait to attend the high-profile formal affair, all dressed up on Edward’s arm as his date. I was wearing my new gown and new shoes and I’d spent the better part of the day at the salon having my hair and make-up done. It was the perfect opportunity to show off my stunning new diamond pendant necklace.

  Edward finally came out of his enormous clothes closet dressed in his sharpest tuxedo. While I was tying his tie for him, I got an intoxicating whiff of his expensive elegant fragrance. He always smelled so damn good. And tonight he was looking extra fine! Like he could star in a James Bond movie! He actually made me sweat when I stood too close to him.

  “You look amazing Julia. As always. Shall we go my lovely?”

  “I’m ready Edward. And I must say you also look incredibly sexy and dashing this evening.”

  The company limo was waiting out front for us so we climbed into the backseat and Edward poured us some champagne to start off the evening. Our driver headed down the winding driveway as I looked out at the city lights in the distance and pondered how lucky I was.

  The gala was being held on the magnificent rooftop terrace of the ten-story Mandarin Gate Hotel, overlooking the twinkling lights of the San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge. The annual event benefitted the Bay Institute and the Bayside Aquarium; both huge recipients of Nonno’s past generosity. The waterfront hotel was the perfect venue for the gala, with it’s incredible view of the bay stretching out to the horizon.

  The wine was flowing and the food was to die for. There was a silent auction and a jazzy swing band for entertainment. Several prominent oceanographers were featured guest speakers and Edward was scheduled to introduce the director of the aquarium. Pretty much everybody who was anybody in San Francisco was there. Funding and protecting our local waters and marine life was a worthwhile cause that the entire bay area elite supported.