House of Darken (Secret Keepers Series Book 1)
Page 11
“I don’t sleep much. There’s no point trying to sneak out,” he said as he turned to leave, pretty much shutting the door in my face.
“Asshole,” I muttered.
Sucking in a deep breath, I tried to calm myself. This was going to be okay. I would stay here tonight, go to school tomorrow, and hopefully after that we would have some answers. How long could it possibly take for their council to follow up the leads? To figure out what was going on with the Finnegans?
It was worrying how casual this council seemed to be in regards to me knowing of their existence. I had expected to be killed on the spot, but with their current attitude I was wondering how big of a secret it could possibly be. I’d certainly never heard anything – except from the Finnegans – about mutants, or supernaturals, or advanced humans. So it definitely wasn’t general knowledge.
As I stepped into the small room, I hesitated. I needed to pee quite badly, and I was hungry. The old Emma would have probably sucked it up, dealt with the discomforts, but I was not that person any longer. This new person broke the rules – crossed the street when they shouldn’t. I was already deep in it, so what was one more thing.
Walking back to the door on my little room, I reached for the handle, surprised when it opened easily. I stepped out into the main bedroom again. Lexen was nowhere to be seen.
Crossing over toward his bed, I moved cautiously, as if he would leap out of the shadows at any moment. When I was standing beside the decadent bed, I noticed his shirt was draped across it, and in that same moment the faint sounds of running water registered with me.
Great. He was in the shower. Now we were going to have one of those cliché moments. He would be half naked and dripping wet. I would blabber and lose all conscious thought…
Not happening. Spinning as fast as I could, I was hightailing it back to my room when a deep voice cut across the area. “Where do you think you’re going?”
Turning back around, I bit back the groan that immediately sprang to my lips. He was wearing shorts. Just a pair of soft black shorts. The rest of his skin was bare, golden, ripped, bare, golden…
My breathing was doing funny things so I forced myself to focus. He was a supernatural. Not a human. We were a different species and I could not lust after him. It was weird, and wrong, and I … was so going to hell.
“I’m hungry. I have to pee. I need clothes to sleep in.” I rattled off my list like they were bullet points, half tempted to close my eyes at the same time. I didn’t, because I wasn’t keen to advertise his effect on me, but it was definitely tempting.
He crossed the room in a second, bringing with him the heat from his shower. Or at least that was what I was telling myself. “Use my bathroom. You’re not permitted to leave this room tonight. I won’t have my family put at risk.”
I stuck my tongue out at him. I hadn’t meant to, but somehow it slipped out.
He growled, getting in close to my face. “Don’t. Push. Me.”
I pushed him. Literally.
Shit. What was wrong with me?
My shove barely moved him, but since he hadn’t been expecting it, it was enough to slide him back a few inches. Absolute astonishment registered on his face, but only for a heartbeat, before a dark kind of fury descended. I wanted to run, to hide from whatever I had unleashed here, but my feet wouldn’t move.
The sprinkles of starlight in his eyes started to brighten, and I would have sworn there was a glow coming from them. As he straightened, he stepped into me and I found my head tilting back so I could take him all in.
“Walk away now, human.”
His voice was nothing more than a rumble, and finally I did as I was told. Slipping and sliding across the floor, I sprinted in the direction I thought his bathroom was. I’d already been almost peeing myself. Add in the fear and I really needed the bathroom. Tumbling through the door, I slammed it shut behind me, relieved to find a heavy lock I could slide across.
My chest was heaving as I leaned against the wood door, my body reacting with spurts of adrenalin as it tried to figure out how much of a threat Lexen was. For the first time, I was becoming very aware of what it meant to be sleeping in a house of beings who were not human. It was like I had been in a half-fog since I saw that weird light ball Star had stepped out of, since the Darkens had taken me hostage. I understood what was happening to me, what I was learning, but nothing was really registering. It had been too fast. Too quick. My mind was slowly catching up now.
I was in big trouble.
When my heart finally stopped trying to pound out of my chest, I peeled myself off the door and wandered into the room. It was huge – of course – with tiled floors and walls. Lots of patterns, colors of navy and cream. It was masculine, sophisticated, and boring as hell.
Lexen needed some fun in his life.
The bathtub came into sight and I let out a breathy sigh. “Okay, now that looks like fun.”
It was deep, oval shaped, and filled with jets. I wanted to live in there. It had been a long time since I took a bath. Disappointment hit me but I pushed it aside. My jailer was probably standing outside, arms crossed over his chest as he watched the clock. This was no time for a bath.
I quickly used the toilet, and after washing my hands I was about to leave when I caught sight of the shower. There was no time for a bath, but I still really wanted to wash off. And warm up. Parts of me were still chilled from the rain.
I glanced at the door, and straightening my spine I decided that he would just have to deal. Wasting no time, I stripped off Star’s borrowed shoes and clothes, leaving them in a pile on the floor. The shower cubicle was one of those glass monstrosities with ten shower heads and gleaming dials everywhere. It was still damp and wet, clearly from Lexen, and I tried very hard not to think about him standing naked here only moments ago.
After multiple attempts I managed to get water to run. As I stepped under, it went scorching hot and I jumped back.
“Shit!” My curse was louder than I intended, but I was pretty sure there were third degree burns on my back now.
There was a loud knock on the door. “Are you okay in there?”
“You have a stupid shower. It’s … stupid!” I shouted back.
The boiling hot water was still cascading down; I had tucked myself right into one corner, which seemed to be the only corner not getting soaked. I heard the door to the bathroom open, and I would have been mortified if all of my attention wasn’t currently on staying alive.
The glass was fogged, so I couldn’t see anything, but I had to assume it was Lexen. The door swung open and he appeared, his eyes darting over me briefly before he reached in through the water to the control panel. He showed no sign of distress as the boiling water ripped across his skin, and I tried not to gasp too loudly. He hit a few buttons, swiveled a dial, and the water cooled considerably to a medium warm. I relaxed, tension seeping out of me
“Did you get burned?” His eyes were locked on my face. For once he wasn’t scowling at me.
I blinked a few times, unused to that look from him. “I don’t think so. It hit my back, I … I’m fine.”
“Turn around,” he commanded. “Let me see. If you told me you were going to shower I could have changed the temperature. It’s programmed to my preferences.”
I crossed my arms, trying to hide most of my naked parts. For freak’s sake, this was worse than my cliché moment before. Now I was naked in the shower with him. “I’m not turning around. I’m fine. You can leave now.”
He seemed to realize then that he had me cornered, naked, and he hated humans. In a flash the glass door closed, and I slumped even further until I was pretty much sitting on the floor, warm water beating down on me. I hadn’t for one second felt vulnerable or scared that he might take advantage of me. His eyes had not even drifted below my face. He didn’t care. He wasn’t attracted to me.
We were not the same species! I was going to keep repeating that mentally until it started to sink in.
&nb
sp; Exhaustion pressed in on me and it took everything I had not to curl up under the massaging shower heads and go to sleep. I forced myself to stand, to wash my hair with whatever amazingly expensive shampoo was in here. Then I figured out how to turn the water off, stepping out to find a thick white towel on the sink. Next to it was a shirt.
I blinked a few times, my hand going out to pick up the soft piece of clothing. Had Lexen given me one of his shirts to sleep in? It definitely hadn’t been sitting there when I’d got into the shower.
I dried off quickly, gingerly patting the tender parts on my back. It didn’t look too bad in the mirror, just bright red, no welts yet. I wished I had some cream to rub on it, but I didn’t want to push my luck. Slipping back into the underwear bottoms from Star, since I hadn’t worn them for long, I then pulled the huge shirt over my head. It caressed my skin, silky and smooth, falling almost to my knees.
There was a comb on the bench and I used it to tame my mane. The curls would still spring up haphazardly when they dried, but combing it out would help a little. When I had procrastinated as much as I could, I gathered up the rest of the clothing and slowly left the room. I didn’t see Lexen anywhere, so I chose to run like a bitch and hide in my cupboard bedroom. When I was safely inside, the door closed firmly behind me, I dropped Star’s clothes on a chair in the corner and made my way to the bed. There were a few pendant lights on, as well as a lamp right near the bed. I shut everything off except the lamp.
My stomach gave a rumbling protest. I shushed it. I was not asking Lexen for anything else tonight. Crossing to the bed, I was about to yank the covers down and slip beneath them when I noticed a small white plate resting near the pillow. On top of it was a sandwich.
What in the…? All thought faded as my stomach rumbled again, almost painfully. Uncaring of etiquette, I dove and snatched the bread up, shoving it into my mouth. I had no idea what was on it, and frankly I didn’t care. It was food. I was not going to turn my nose up at anything edible.
When half the sandwich was gone, I took a drink of water from the glass on my bedside. It had been set there with a little note propped next to it. I wasn’t surprised that it was Star who had brought me the food. That made much more sense than Lexen.
I didn’t quite finish the sandwich, my stomach protesting. I set it aside on the bench and climbed into bed. I had planned on lying there with the lamp on for a while so I could run over everything that had happened today. Just before falling asleep was always my favorite time to process my life, when there were no other distractions around. It helped me see clearly, pick up details I would have normally missed.
But my eyelids kept fluttering closed, my blinks getting far less frequent, so I switched the lamp off. I would think everything over in the morning.
It’s so hot. I can’t breathe. Why can’t I breathe? The smoke is everywhere. It’s choking me. Slithering into every part of my body. I’m dying. Crawling with desperation, unable to see, unable to breathe. Searching for them. Hissing as embers bit into my exposed flesh. As smoke and heat charred my throat and lungs.
It had been a long time since I’d had the dream, the one that had consumed me for weeks after the fire. In it, I was always battling the heat and smoke. It choked me. I fought to escape. But unlike real life I never made it out of the dream fire.
With a muffled yelp I managed to wrench myself awake, sitting upright, my heart hammering hard in my chest. I had probably been yelling. Sara and Michael used to tell me I made a real racket when I was in the fire dream. I’d always awoken to find them standing at my bedside, worried faces staring down at me. I got hugs after that though; it was the one time I really craved the touch of another human.
Anything to wipe away the taste, smell, and feel of smoke choking me to death.
I was disoriented for a beat as I stared around the dark room. The Darkens. Right. I was at their house. No wonder the dream had returned; my stress levels were at an all-time high. Pulling myself out of the bed, I started to pace the room. I could never stay still after the dream.
I wondered what time it was. If it was almost morning I’d just stay up, but there was no way to tell from this room. I switched on the lamp to double check there wasn’t a clock in the room. Nope. Creeping toward the door, I slowly eased it open, and then ducked through before shutting it just as quickly. I didn’t want the light to wake Lexen.
His room wasn’t that dark; there were beads of illumination coming in from a few different places, which helped in not tripping over anything. From memory there was a window near the bathroom door, so I headed in that direction, trying my best not to focus on the bed and the supernatural sleeping there.
Surprised to make it to the window undetected, I wondered where the “I don’t need much sleep” asshole was now. Reaching out, I gripped the curtain, pulling them apart.
Oh. Instead of the window I’d expected, there was a double set of doors behind the heavy material, and the wood and glass doors were ajar. I noticed Lexen a beat before he said, “Nice to see you weren’t murdered in your sleep. For a moment there I wasn’t sure.”
“Thanks for checking on me,” I said drily, slipping out onto the wide balcony.
I immediately felt better being outside, breathing in the fresh air.
Lexen, who was still shirtless, had his shoulder propped against a nearby wall, staring out into the ocean. I had never realized quite how loud it was being near the water as it crashed against the cliffs.
“My job is to keep you alive,” he said softly. “The rest … you’re going to have to look to Marsil, Jero, and Star.”
I found myself leaning against the glass railing. “They seem to defer to you as their fearless leader … or whatever. Why are you the boss?”
In this dull light I couldn’t really make out his face. “It was the position I was born into.” His voice was emotionless. “It’s not something I chose.”
I realized then that we were having an actual conversation that didn’t involve yelling or insults.
“What did you dream about?” He straightened as he asked, and even though most of my attention was focused out into the world, I sensed his eyes on me.
The smell of smoke was still in my nose; his question brought back the choking sensation. It was so clear in my mind.
“I dream of my death.”
I didn’t want to talk about my parents – I couldn’t talk about them. Not with the dream still filling my mind. Even worse, I didn’t wake to a warm hug and smiles. I woke to this cold, mysterious guy. I woke to remember that what remained of my family was missing.
My chest clenched; the hot pressure behind my eyes told me I was going to have one of my moments. I was going to lose it. It didn’t happen much anymore, but if I suppressed it for too long the breakdown would be so much worse.
“Ex …cuse me,” I choked out, before I stumbled back across the balcony, aiming for the doors. I needed to get back to my room so I could cry in peace. Without judgment.
I was trying to be kind to myself lately. If I needed to cry, I let myself. I didn’t beat myself up for it. Not anymore. When I did that in the early days I almost sent myself to a mental-health facility.
Just as I was slipping through the doors, a warm hand wrapped around my forearm. “What’s wrong?” Lexen asked sharply.
There was a note of concern in his voice and my throat tightened to the point where it was no longer possible for me to talk.
I tried anyway, because he wasn’t letting go.
“My parents … I dream of the fire.” My voice was barely a squeak. The first tear slipped free from my eyes, trailing across my cheek in a hot line.
No more words were coming. A sob escaped, and I tried to yank myself free from Lexen. He wouldn’t let me go. I wanted to beg, but I couldn’t say anything. I decided to stop fighting. Why did I care if he saw me break? This wasn’t me being weak, this was me hurting, and I was allowed to express that.
Sobs started ripping from my chest. I raised
my free hand to cover my face. The tears were never-ending salty streams that filled my eyes and overflowed down my face. I caved in on myself, the pain in my chest so intense that if I hadn’t done this plenty of times over the past eight months I might have wondered if I was having a heart attack.
Lexen didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t leave. He stayed right by my side, holding my arm and letting me cry.
“I miss them,” I whispered, my voice a broken crackle. “Why did they have to die? Why did they have to leave me?”
I was so alone. Always alone.
He let out a low curse and dropped my arm. I expected him to run away – hello, crying teenage girl was boy kryptonite – but he didn’t. He stepped forward and wrapped me up in both of his arms, pulling me close to his body. Holy crap. He might be an asshole, but he gave good hugs. His warmth surrounded me as my face buried into his bare chest. I flinched slightly as he pressed on my still tender skin. His grip loosened, but he didn’t let me go.
“You’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure they find your family.”
He was murmuring, and it was like I didn’t know who the hell this guy was.
I was so astonished by Lexen’s actions that I was able to push my grief back down. The sobs died off, the pressure in my chest easing again. This cry would relieve the aching for some time. In truth, the breakdowns were getting further apart. Maybe soon I’d even start to function like a normal, non-devastated person.
As I straightened, he stepped back and gave me space. I wiped at my cheeks, my breathing evening out. I felt hugely awkward. This was more emotion than I had expressed in a long time, and doing it in front of a stranger was not the most fun.
“I’m really tired,” I lied. “Going to try get some more sleep.” I could tell from the darkness and moon that it was still the middle of the night.
Lexen didn’t argue. He nodded and propped himself back against the wall. “I’ll wake you in time for school,” was all he said as I slipped back into his bedroom.