FERTS

by Grace Hudson

  “Wait, where are the others?”

  “Quiet now,” 244 whispered.

  “I see Sires, Sires everywhere. Where are the others? The little ones like us. The future Internees, future Vassals. Where are they?”

  “Really 201, you ask too many questions. Has anyone told you that before?” 244 had stopped listening, shaking her head and turning her attention to the screen.

  “And now a message from our Pinnacle Officer Wilcox.” A chorus of sighs and gasps arose from the presentation room. A man appeared, surrounded by a backdrop of spinning FERTS logos and rich, magenta drapery. His head and face were clean shaven, 201 could not pinpoint his age, clearly he was much, much older than any Officer 201 had ever seen, but his face was narrow and quite smooth, with pointed features and narrowed green eyes. His mouth was a thin line that he curled up repeatedly into a practised, welcoming smile. His uniform was silver, unlike all the other Officers. His chest was littered with various insignia that did not show his Y number or any other identifying symbols.

  “Internees of Omega. Future Vassals. The time has come for you all to prepare for Vassal selection. This is the most important time for all of you, and I trust you will do your best for the Officers, and for me.”

  “You will be tested and rated for your final, pre-Vassal assessments, though your attractiveness rating should be safe, considering you are in the privileged Omega Circuit.” A couple of nervous giggles rang out.

  “You will also be tested on your grooming, your seduction techniques, dutiful activities and sexual availability.” His face became stern, eyes appearing to engage with each Internee in the presentation room. “I trust you will all study intensively for this test, and give the Officers everything they require.” The stern mask dissolved, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he went on.

  “Those of you who are deemed successful will be promoted to Vassal, and given the opportunity to be chosen by a Vendee. Some of the Vendees you will meet will be wealthy, powerful Resident Citizens who can provide you with such wonders of living, such comforts, things you cannot even imagine you could ever have. Will you do this for me, Omegas, will you join the ranks of proud Vassals?”

  “Yes, Pinnacle Officer Wilcox!” came the enthusiastic reply. 201 mouthed the words along with her fellow Omegas but her voice remained silent.

  – 44 –

  201 could not settle that night. Her mind would not shut down, chattering and making no sense. She had tried various techniques to calm her mind, but none seemed to be working. She had attempted a manicure this night and was vaguely satisfied with the results. Her hair was tied in a loose plait, so as not to tangle, and she had bathed in regulation order before bed.

  “Just a simple electronic device really, quite basic. The radius is small, just past the edge of the suspension zone. But look here, when I sound the siren, the Internee has five to six minutes to return within the perimeter or the charge goes through from the Implant Marker here, right through to the heart.”

  The words jumbled through her head, making little sense. 201 could almost picture the man who spoke, he was an Officer… his name began with C. Not much more was clear, it was something important, she knew this, but the significance was obscured.

  Her beauty pill sat in its usual tray, forgotten from the morning. She took the pill, and laid back down, trying to focus on the droning music filling her ears. The music suddenly changed in pitch and slowed in tempo. Before long she drifted off, waves of relaxation radiating from her body.

  – 45 –

  201 dreamed of the forest that night, the wild fragrances intoxicating her entire being. She stood in the doorway of a room she did not understand. It was a room, but held none of the cold marble, polished metal or stone in matching tones of regulation white.

  The room was warm, filling 201 with a sense she had not felt before. The walls were wood, soft fabrics and comfortable looking seating surrounded a pleasing fire, radiating warmth as it popped and crackled softly. The windows were covered with a heavy fabric, trapping the warmth inside and casting a pleasing glow over the lone figure settled within.

  She was beautiful. She sat, staring at the hearth, deep in contemplation. Her eyes were bright, vibrant, with hints of little crinkles at the corners. Her mouth was wide, a dimple on one side deepening as she rested her chin on her interlaced fingers. She wore a dark cloth over her chest and trousers, much like the Officers at FERTS, though hers were fastened with what looked like some kind of leather. Her boots were also leather, strong, flat coverings like the Fighters wore in the Epsilon ring. Her hair was a dark blonde, looping down her back in a messy plait. It looked as if she had not used a comb or brush for days, perhaps even months, her dirty nails were short and ragged and her right arm sported a woven leather band around her bicep, partially covering a looping scar. As the flames danced over her face, greenish brown eyes focused in thought, 201 thought she was the most perfect thing she had ever seen.

  Another entered the room, this one was shorter, with black hair and blue eyes. She was slightly plumper than regulation weight, and perhaps a little shorter than most Internees 201 had ever seen. Her face was rounded with no sharp angles. It appeared she wore no make up at all. Her hair was thick, falling in messy curls around her face. She was similarly dressed in leather pants and a blue tunic that brought out her eyes.

  “Adira is asleep now.”

  The blonde one looked up, nodding.

  “How are you feeling?” She settled herself by the fire, hands outstretched to feel the warmth.

  “Can’t get her face out of my head.”

  The dark haired one moved closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. “You can’t keep thinking about it, Raf.” She stared into the flames, blue eyes dancing and flickering.

  Raf, but her name was longer than that, thought 201.

  Rafaella.

  The voice inside her head startled her, and 201 could not understand its meaning. There were no numbers, no Beth. Their clothing bore no insignia.

  “You say that. But doing it is another thing altogether. How are the others?”

  “They’re a little shaken, but ok. Some food and some sleep will do them good.” She made her way towards another of the rooms.

  “Cal?”

  “Hm?” She poked her head around the corner.

  “Did you make tea?”

  Cal smiled and left the room, returning with two steaming mugs.

  The dark haired one also had another name…

  Caltha.

  Caltha. It seemed a warm name, the sound soft and kind to 201’s ears.

  The two sat in silence for a while and 201 wondered briefly if this was indeed a dream. If so, it was most strange, so unfamiliar, yet comforting at the same time.

  Rafaella tended to the fire and they drank in silence, staring into the flames. She looked up at Caltha, face stern.

  “We can’t be that reckless again. You know this, the others know this. Either way, I take full responsibility for what happened.”

  “Raf, you mustn’t blame yourself. Everyone knows it, if Liam hadn’t broken away from the group like that, we never would have been exposed. What was he thinking?”

  Rafaella shook her head, waving a hand dismissively.

  “He was spooked, it happens, especially with the new warriors.” She turned to face Caltha. “They were mercenaries, Cal. I haven’t seen a group like that in a long time.”

  “We got them, that’s the main thing,” Caltha mused. “What were they doing around here?”

  “The usual, looting. Not much to take though, must have been on their way somewhere.”

  “Liam is so sorry, he’s sick with it. He’ll never forgive himself for Dina. He’s just a kid, Raf! I don’t know why he was out with us in the first place.”

  “He has to learn sooner or later. No good hiding him away from it. It happens. I should have ordered him back sooner.”

  “Raf, it was a skirmish. This is what we do. That’s what you taught me,
anyway. You can’t be everywhere at once.” Cal rested the mug on her knee, picking at a stray thread on her trousers.

  “It’s not good enough!” Rafaella smacked her hand on her knee. “I should’ve known this would go bad. I had a feeling, and I ignored it. That was my mistake. They should never have been allowed to get in that close to Dina. She was a good warrior. And a good friend.” Rafaella’s eyes watered but no tears fell.

  “Ma?”

  Caltha turned to the doorway to see a tiny figure sleepily rubbing her eyes. Dwarfed by the doorframe, she wore a long fuzzy tunic and warm coverings on her feet.

  201 stared, unable to believe what she was seeing.

  It’s a little one. Not a Sire. She’s like me, only tiny. No uniform, no insignia. What is the meaning of this?

  “Adira! What do you think you’re doing?”

  201 tensed, anticipating the blow that never came. Caltha rushed towards Adira, playfully scooping her up in her arms, patting her back. “What is it? Could you not sleep?”

  “I had a bad dream.” She scratched at her messy, shoulder length hair. It was dark and thick, like Caltha’s. Caltha placed a kiss on her cheek, seating her on her lap in front of the fire.

  Rafaella turned with a grin. “Hey kiddo.”

  “Raf!” Adira shuffled off Caltha’s lap and ran enthusiastically into Rafaella.

  “Oof! That hurt. You’re getting strong, Adira.” Adira clung to Rafaella, tugging at her arm.

  “I used a bone dagger for the first time today!”

  Rafaella glanced a look at Caltha, raising an eyebrow.

  “How’d you go?”

  “Good! Lina said I need lots of practice but I can do it! I want to be a warrior when I get big.”

  “You’ll be a good one. I can tell.”

  “I want to be like you, Raf,” Adira mumbled, looking down at her feet. Caltha’s eyes darted to Rafaella’s, squinting fondly.

  “Come on, Adira. You want a story?”

  “Yeah!” Adira climbed up on Caltha’s lap once more, snuggling into her side.

  “Which one?”

  “Um… Hett and Wenda!”

  Caltha leaned towards a pile of bound papers. She chose one and Adira closed her eyes, a smile creeping on her lips. Caltha’s eyes squinted as she grinned down at her.

  “The Adventures of Hett and Wenda.” She opened the pages. “Long ago, in the township of Palomore, lived two sisters, Hett and Wenda…”

  201 did not understand this exchange at first. It seemed so foreign that she could not accept the scene before her. Nevertheless, 201 listened, entranced by the gentle rise and fall of Caltha’s voice, the way her voice grew excited in some parts, and the masterful way her voice changed slightly for each of the different voices of the people in the adventure. Adira opened her eyes from time to time, smiling into the fire with a distant look on her face. 201 could see it all unfolding in her mind, Hett and Wenda fighting off hordes of mercenaries in far off places she could scarcely imagine, fighting for things that 201 did not understand. They spoke of strange notions, ‘sisters’, and ‘family’, and ‘home’. 201 felt a twinge in her chest when she heard that word.

  Home.

  It was like something long forgotten, perhaps something that once held meaning to her, if only she could find a way to remember. It felt warm, like sleeping, like that moment where you wake and forget where you are, forget who you are, traces of another time lingering like a phantom cloak.

  – 46 –

  “Line check!”

  201 shuffled out, the last to fall into line, tugging at the fastener on her jumpsuit that refused to sit straight. After the FERTS Requital, the Officer read out the daily listings.

  “The following to report to the testing rooms. 207, 266, 251, 201. All other Internees proceed to ration room.”

  201 dragged her feet making her way to the testing room. It was another of the indistinguishable sterile white rooms, filled with yet more burnished metal. Titan was waiting for her inside, resting against a metal bench.

  “201,” he whispered.

  201 froze, shoulders stiffening as her eyes darted around the room. She paused, breathing sharply as she gathered up the will to speak. Her voice failed on the first attempt. She took another breath and began again.

  “Titan. I guess I should thank you for recommending my promotion to Omega.” Titan was not supposed to be in Omega and Epsilon simultaneously. This meant that he had followed her, and this could only mean one thing. 201’s breath wheezed out from deep within her chest. She began to unfasten the clasps on her jumpsuit, tugging the sleeve roughly over her shoulder, face impassive.

  “Wait. Stop. What are you doing?”

  “I presumed you would want me to strip.”

  “Why… Why would you think that?”

  “Because the last time, Morton…”

  Titan’s face froze in shock. “No. How could he… Did he hurt you?” His eyes narrowed as he stepped forward.

  201 raised her eyes to his, holding his gaze. “Yes. He did, actually. But what does it matter? That’s what we are here for. I guess I should be proud that he chose me. It is the greatest compliment,” she spat the words out, dripping with sarcasm. “And I suppose I am nearly over limit, so I guess I should be thankful for such a rapid promotion. Was that my price, by the way? To get me into Omega? How wonderful, such a gift. I am so wonderfully, extremely, thankful.” She turned her head to the side, eyelashes fluttering, smile turned sharp, her intense gaze never leaving his shocked eyes.

  “I didn’t know. I mean I knew that maybe… I’d heard stories… I wouldn’t have let this happen to you. If I had known…”

  “If you had known, it would have made no difference. All the Officers know. I’m surprised you don’t. But you are new here.”

  “I am sorry.” Titan’s eyes were shining, tears withheld.

  “It’s what happens here. Just how it works.” She shrugged. “So you don’t want me?”

  “No, not like… I can’t…”

  201 breathed out slowly, a brief surge of relief welling up inside her. She quickly refastened her jumpsuit, steadying her hands to hide the slight tremors. She sank to the floor and hugged her knees.

  “I do not understand you. Why are you so different? You do not behave like the other Officers. You make me feel as if I am also different. Like I am something other than this, something other than a prospective Vassal.”

  Titan slid to the floor to join her.

  “Do you wish to be a Vassal? Don’t worry, I won’t punish you for speaking out. You must understand that everything we say between us will stay between us. You may not be able to trust anyone else, I cannot speak for the others, but I can speak for myself. And I make that promise to you now. So speak freely.” His face was pained, eyes tight, yet his gaze did not leave hers, open and unguarded.

  201 looked at him for a time, considering his words. “No. No I do not wish to be a Vassal. I do not want to be a birther, as I feel no connection to birthing concerns. I do not wish to please a Vendee and I do not wish to become a Fighter like 23… Like my former Epsilon fellows. I do not wish to be worker in Kappa and I most certainly do not wish to join the scrapheap at Zeta. So I believe, what I am saying, is that I do not wish to be anything that FERTS might require of me.”

  Titan was silent, hand rubbing idly over his lips, lost in thought.

  “I do not wish to bathe in regulation order. I do not wish to comb, brush and dry my hair, perfuming with fragrant oils, I do not wish to manicure late at night, I do not wish to sit alone in my room, speaking of nothing, to nobody, waiting dutifully for my latest muscle mass and AR rating to come through my printing slot. I do not wish to cover my skin with sticky ointments that stick to my regulation pillow, I do not wish to strip for hairy oafs with sweaty beards who crush me with their weight and hurt me and I do not wish to spend my nights washing and washing, trying to get the stink of him off me…” 201 shuddered as the tears erupted, clutching her bel
ly and curling to the side, tucking her feet under her for warmth. She cried for a time, stomach heaving and stuttering. She flinched as she felt a hand tentatively pat the top of her shoulder. 201 looked up at Titan, face streaming as she steeled her expression carefully to give him a nod. He shuffled closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she held on through another bout of tears. His palm gently smoothed her shoulder, repeating the movement as her tremors began to subside and 201 began to tire and snuffle. She burrowed her head closer to his arm, feeling the churning, shuddering pain dissipate slightly.

  When 201 opened her eyes, she did not know how long she had stayed on the floor, wrapped up in that uncomfortable position. Titan had not moved, his hand still smoothing over her shoulder as he noticed the change in her movements.

  “You fell asleep.” Titan was smiling, she could tell.

  “How long?” 201 rubbed at her nose, trying to sniff but finding she could not breathe out of her left nostril. Each breath made a squeaking sound. Titan began to chuckle.

  201 glared at him, huffing in a breath that made another squeaking sound. Titan’s face broke into laughter and 201 could not stop her own laugh as it burst free from her chest.

  “Stop that!” She shoved at his shoulder.

  “You’re the one squeaking.” They descended into giggles, 201’s hand smacking the floor as she tried not to look directly at Titan for fear of laughing uncontrollably.

  When they finally composed themselves, Titan sighed, leaning his head against the wall.

  “I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.”

  201 looked over at him, studying his features.

  “I never have.”

  “Not ever? Not even once?”

  “No. I guess I have not had that much to laugh about,” she said, her smile turning grim.

  – 47 –