Private Engagement

by Adrienne Perry

  Emily wanted to touch him, and she wanted him to touch her, but they were still standing, and he needed his arms to hold her, and she needed to use her arms to support herself on his shoulders. She continued riding him, feeling her clit pulsing with anticipation and a wetness spreading from her pussy. Her panties were already damp. She was getting close. Ethan’s hands on her ass shifted to move his fingers closer to the pussy, and they brushed the edges of her folds and pressed gently against her anal opening. Emily shivered in response and continued rocking on his hips. Oh god, if she could just keep doing this for a little longer she’d be there.

  Emily’s eyes were squeezed shut, but her other senses seemed amplified. The scent of grass and greenery combined with Ethan’s own soapy clean smell invaded her nose, every nerve ending was turned onto high, and she could feel every cell that was touching him. With her lips and tongue now licking his neck, she thought he was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted. Even her hearing was amplified. The quiet buzzing of spring insects and birds sounded as loud as an engine in her ears.

  Except…the sound was much more engine-like than bug-like. Emily’s head snapped up at the realization, it was an engine. Which meant there was also a car.

  Emily opened her eyes and leaned back from Ethan. Whether he heard the car as well, or he just sensed her change in mood, he stilled. As their minds and eyes cleared of the haze of arousal and reality seeped back in, he slowly slid her down his body. The sound of the engine grew louder, signaling that the vehicle was approaching the house.

  He lifted his eyebrows at her. “Were you expecting company?”

  Emily shook her head no as her feet touched the ground. She smoothed her clothes back into place while Ethan readjusted his pants, trying to disguise his erection. The engine noise cut off and they heard a door slam. Someone had arrived.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Emily and Ethan stepped back from each other and watched as an older man with white hair rounded the corner and headed towards them.

  “Hello there!” he called out to them in a friendly voice.

  “Good afternoon!” Emily called back, just a hint of a waver in her voice betraying the arousal still coursing through her body, coupled with the excitement that they’d nearly been caught.

  Though the man appeared old, he was also fast, and he covered the distance between them quicker than Emily would have imagined. When he got close enough that she could make out his features, there was something vaguely familiar about them. But Emily couldn’t place where or when she might have met him before.

  “You folks enjoying our lovely garden?” the man asked, still friendly and seemingly not at all suspicious or concerned that they were there. “I can’t get enough of this place myself. It’s just lovely, and I can still remember what it used to look like, when the family was still here.”

  Emily stiffened in shock when she heard those words. Ethan must have noted her sudden tension, because he shot her a shrewd look and placed a comforting arm around her waist. Despite herself, she curled into his embrace.

  Ethan smiled warmly at the man. “We were driving around the city looking at some of the historic houses in the area and were drawn in by this one’s beauty.”

  “Oh yes,” the man replied. “This one’s not as big as some, and it could use some TLC now, but back in the day I remember the family hosting some of the most amazing parties. They would invite everyone who wanted to come, and string lights around all these old oak trees. There would even be these little paper lanterns tucked up in the tree branches for the children to find. Children were always welcome.” He chuckled, as if at the memory. “Why, I remember the daughter of the couple, just a wee little thing, four or five, used to plan most of the decorations. The parties weren’t as sophisticated as some of the other gatherings in the neighborhood, but they were still the ones everyone wanted to attend. They were always full of fun, and life, and happiness. And the little miss would always help with the planning. She’d tell her mama the theme and sketch out how she wanted it to look; and bless her heart, her mama would do whatever she could to make it happen.” The man sighed a pause. “Well, that was, what, twenty years ago now?”

  Ethan had remained stock still next to Emily, while her body tensed with every word the man spoke.

  “Twenty years, huh?” replied Ethan. “And what happened? It doesn’t look as if anyone’s living here now.”

  The man smiled conspiratorially. “Well, I don’t like to gossip, but there was a scandal. The wife ran off, leaving the husband and little girl behind. The man was heartbroken and slowly faded away. The parties sure stopped after that. A few years later, the husband died. Cancer I think it was, and the girl left to live with her mother. California.”

  He drew the syllables out so that it sounded like “Cal-ee-forn-ee-a.”

  “I did some accounting and financial work for the family…before. It was a sad thing when that business happened. The parents were one thing, but I felt for that girl. It’s been a long time now…what was her name again…Emma, maybe? Erin?”

  “Emily.” Her voice was practically a whisper.

  “That’s it!” the man cheered. “Emily! But how did you…” His voice trailed off as he took a closer look at her. “Well, I’ll be…is that you, Miss Emily? Why, look at you!”

  “It’s me, Mr. Beaufort.” She’d remembered him as he’d been talking. She could definitely remember riding with her mother to his office occasionally. Her mother would always make her dress up in something scratchy and uncomfortable so “she would look her best”.

  At the office, her mother and Mr. Beaufort would close themselves in his office while she would wait in the front room eating sugar cubes that his secretary snuck her. It had been two decades since she’d seen him, but even though she remembered him with brown hair instead of the silver it was now, she recognized the twinkling eyes and his honey-smooth southern drawl voice.

  Ethan’s hand tightened around her waist as she swayed slightly in shock at the memories suddenly flooding her brain. She supposed she ought to have expected them…she did come to her childhood home, after all. But it had been so long, she thought those memories were long forgotten.

  “Emily!” Mr. Beaufort cried, grasping one of her hands in both of his. “I can’t believe the little imp who used to run around in pigtails is all grown up. Oh, where the time goes. What brings you back here now? Ah, the sale, of course.”

  Emily sighed. “Sale? No, I don’t know what brought me back here today. I was looking for something…a place…for a wedding. And somehow I ended up here.”

  Mr. Beaufort beamed at Emily and Ethan. “Why this would be the perfect place, and how fitting that you, Miss Emily, will be getting married here to this handsome young man of yours, in the very location where you used to host such magnificent ‘dos!”

  “Oh, no, Mr. Beaufort,” Emily stammered. “You misunderstand. The wedding isn’t for me. It’s for Ethan here, and his fiancée, but that’s not me. I mean, she’s someone else. I’m planning the wedding for someone else.”

  “I see.” Mr. Beaufort looked momentarily surprised, and then reddened slightly. “You see when I came up, I was sure that the two of you were, well, you know. The way you looked together.” Mr. Beaufort took his glasses of and cleaned them with a white handkerchief that had been folded with a sharp tip pointing out of his breast pocket. Ever the Southern gentleman in his suit. “But I suppose I need to get my eyes checked again.” His glance fell to Ethan’s hand, which was still around Emily’s waist. Emily shifted sideways, breaking free from Ethan’s grasp.

  “Like I said,” she responded, mentally pulling herself together, “it was just a thought I had. Now that I’m here, I see that it’s not at all suitable for a wedding. It’s just a run-down old house.” She turned to Ethan and said briskly, “We should go.”

  To Mr. Beaufort, she said, “It was nice to run into you again. Good-bye.”

  As she started to walk away, however, she felt Et
han’s hand reach out to grab hers, stopping her escape. “Just one thing, Mr. Beaufort,” he said. “What was the sale you mentioned earlier?”

  “Oh, of course,” Mr. Beaufort said. “The house is to go to auction soon.” He looked at Emily. “After your family sold it, it passed through a number of other owners over the years. The last owners couldn’t afford the mortgage on the property, so the bank reclaimed it. There’s going to be an auction next week, and I’m here just doing an assessment of the property so we know its worth. Well, I saw the car parked up front and figured it was someone coming to check the property to see if they were interested in buying it. I never imagined it would be you, Miss Emily.”

  “No, I’m not interested in buying. I was just a mistake to come here.” Emily skittered off towards the safety of her car. She wished she could convince herself, and the men behind her, that she wasn’t fleeing, but she knew it was apparent to everyone present that she was tucking tail and running. She needed to get away. So many things she hadn’t thought of in so many years had come rushing back. She was also still feeling edgy from the intimate encounter she’d had with Ethan before they’d been interrupted by Mr. Beaufort. While Ethan made some sort of apologetic good-bye to cover her rudeness for stalking off, Emily shielded herself in the car and waited for Ethan to join her.

  *****

  In the car, both she and Ethan were quiet. Despite the heat of the afternoon, Emily turned the AC off, but her body still trembled from the chill that the unexpected memories had planted deep inside of her. She was grateful that Ethan wasn’t pestering her with questions, though she knew he wouldn’t wait long until he asked for an explanation. She wasn’t ready for that yet.

  She’d thought she’d been gone long enough that memories of the past wouldn’t affect her so viscerally, but she’d been wrong. Or maybe she knew it would be hard no matter when she went back, and she was waiting for the right person to be there with her so that she could handle the emotions. What it meant that she’d brought Ethan with her was something she didn’t want to face just yet.

  She tried to make her mind blank, and spouted off some more historical facts about Greenville and its founding inhabitants. Anything to move past this moment. Unfortunately, the stories of past lives didn’t soothe her the way they normally did, and she felt her anxiety increasing instead of subsiding. Crap! She couldn’t have a panic attack now, she ordered herself, but even while she said it, her breath became stuttery and shallow.

  “Pull over,” Ethan’s stern voice demanded.

  “No…no. I’m fine,” she argued.

  “Pull. Over.” Pause. “Now.”

  The commanding tone was too much for Emily to resist, so she pulled to a jerky stop on the side of a quiet, tree-lined street. She was angry that he’d told her to stop. She was angrier that she’d listened. Still, though she’d never in a million years admit it, she was relieved to have someone else take control when she herself was so close to losing it. She didn’t have that luxury often.

  Ethan stepped out of the car and walked around to the driver’s side. He opened Emily’s door and gruffly ordered her to scoot over. While Emily waffled about the most graceful way to comply, Ethan growled impatiently, lifted her over the center console, and plopped her onto the passenger seat as if she were a bag of groceries.

  Emily wrapped her arms around herself, trying to ward off the chill that persisted. Ethan gripped the steering wheel with both hands, hard enough that his knuckles turned white. Emily didn’t know if he was angry at her for not telling him her life story, though why it should be any of his business she didn’t know, or frustrated because they’d been interrupted from…what? Having sex in the middle of a field? It was too exhausting for Emily to try to figure it out, so she remained silent.

  Finally he spoke, in a quiet, even tone that did little to belie the emotion he was holding back. “A lot of stuff just happened back there, and there’s a lot for both of us to process. I get that you don’t want to talk about it, but bottling it up for this long hasn’t done you a lick of good until now, so you may as well get it out now.”

  “There’s nothing to say. Sad childhood, crappy parents in a crappy marriage…it’s the same old story that everyone’s already heard a million times before. Everything’s fine. I’m fine. I just…I must have a touch of heat stroke or something.”

  “Emily.” Just that one word. Just her name. He said it softly, tenderly, as if she were a precious flower that he held gently in his hands, protecting her from harm. It was his voice that undid her. Twenty years of tears, and pain, and sadness suddenly erupted from Emily in deep, gulping sobs. Ethan pulled her towards him, enveloping her in his strong arms, and just held her while she unleashed.

  Emily wasn’t a pretty crier. Her face turned red and blotchy, her eyes puffed up and became ringed with pink. She sobbed loudly. No delicate teardrops squeezing out of the corners of her otherwise bright and clear eyes. Once she started, Emily couldn’t stop. The tears just flowed and flowed. Her nose ran, and she was sure she was getting snot on Ethan’s shirt. She tried to pull back from him or mumble an apology from time to time, but he just shushed her and held her tightly in his grasp. He rubbed her back, sometimes her hair. At some point he had pulled her over the seat again and had settled her on his lap.

  Finally, the tears ran dry and she lifted her head from where it had been buried in his shoulder. She opened her mouth to say she was sorry, but Ethan spoke before she had a chance.

  “Don’t you dare,” he growled at her. “Don’t you dare apologize right now. You’ve needed that for a long time, and don’t ever say you’re sorry for letting something like that out.”

  Emily gave him a weak smile. “I guess I should say thank you then instead.” She paused a moment. “I suppose I should tell you what all that was about.” She waved her hand vaguely to indicate the explanation encompassed more than just the crying.

  Suddenly realizing she was still on his lap, she pushed on his shoulders trying to leverage herself back to her seat. His warmth, and just being close to him, comforted her; that worried her.

  He wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her closer to him. “Don’t go,” he mumbled into her shoulder.

  Still, Emily protested. “But I’m probably squishing you.” She wiggled on his lap trying to make herself lighter, and trying to ignore the sudden intimacy she felt being so close to him.

  He chuckled. “I’m enjoying every second. No worries.” Then he became serious again. “Go if you need the space, but don’t leave because you think I want you to.”

  Emily nodded. She didn’t answer him directly, but settled back onto him as her response. Her position allowed her to gaze out the window as she began her story.

  “Mr. Beaufort had the basics right. We were the perfect family, or so everyone thought. So I thought. Until we weren’t. Overnight, it seemed my mom was gone, off to a new life that didn’t include us, and my dad just…stopped. He stayed alive for years, but he never really lived again. All the joy that I remembered from my youngest days evaporated. I do remember the parties. Just minimally, since I was so young, but oh, they were wonderful. Full of laughter and light and happy people. And my mother and father at the center of it all, glowing with joy.”

  She shook her head. “At least that’s the way I saw it as a five-year-old. My therapist helped me realize that my mom was…has…problems. Maybe bipolar, maybe some form of narcissism, maybe nothing diagnosable, but that she wasn’t actually happy the way I remember her from those parties.”

  Her body trembled as she let the memories back in. The ones she’d tried for so long to forget. So gently she almost didn’t feel it, Ethan stroked her hair, giving her strength to continue.

  “For days after every big bash, my mom would shut herself in her room…not eating, not taking care of me. My dad filled in, but he paled in those times. He would fade as my mom’s happiness faded. I’d manage on my own until mom came back. Not totally…I was fed of course, and
taken to school, bathed. But there was such little real interaction during those times. Then, one morning, I’d wake up to the smell of bacon, and mom would be cooking a feast for breakfast. She’d be happy again, and she’d be planning the next party. She was always happiest planning.”

  Emily paused, watching a pair of squirrels chase each other up and down a tree. Ethan’s hand moved to the back of her neck, massaging softly, patiently waiting for her to continue.

  “I began to dread the parties. As fun as they were, as alive as my mom was during the days leading up to each event, I knew what would happen the day after. I hated the day after.”

  Though Ethan didn’t say anything, she took strength from his touch.

  “And then one morning, after a gorgeous outdoor summer party… God, I can remember that evening so clearly. I can smell it. I can practically taste the way it made me feel. Warm and cozy, and…anyway, the morning after, mom didn’t come down for breakfast. By then, I was used to that, so I didn’t realize anything was different until later. Maybe even a few days. I don’t know. But Mom was gone. Not just emotionally, this time. Physically too. She’d left, and I didn’t see her again for five years. My dad was just never the same after that. He faded, and never glowed again. When he got sick, just months after Mom left, I watched him die. When Mom came back for the funeral, she told me to pack a suitcase and get ready to leave. We went to LA, where she was living with some sleazy guy with two kids who my mom apparently loved way more than she did me. I left when I was seventeen and never looked back. I moved back here after college, and only talk to my mom when she wants to criticize me for something or compare me to my stepsiblings. I always come up short.