Fixing Forever

by Caroline Lee

  Because you sabotaged him.

  This time she didn’t disagree with her subconscious. She was the reason he’d been so—so— What had he been? Disgusted? Horrified? Disg-orrified? Angry, that was for sure. Why was he so angry with Bob? She didn’t know—probably would never know—but she’d been the one to push him into that interview. That confrontation.

  He’d had every right to call her out on her outrageous bargain, then storm off.

  And what was even worse, now her boss knew she’d manipulated his own nephew. Granted, she’d done it because she’d thought it was in both Andrew’s and Bob’s best interests…but that didn’t make it right.

  So now her boss was irritated with her, and he’d always been so pleased with her work. And she’d blown it with Andrew, so all week she’d been eaten up with guilt over her actions and anger at herself for losing a guy who could kiss like that.

  Was it any wonder she was drowning her sorrows in ice cream?

  She sighed and reached for her spoon again.

  This stinks.

  Across from her, Brooke groaned. “And the holidays are coming up, and I just know someone’s going to ask me how the dating scene is going. I’ve heard Grandma has been getting nosy when it comes to our love lives, and I don’t know how I feel about that. Thanksgiving is only a week away.”

  Rachel raised her brow and gestured for her friend to continue, since her mouth was full.

  Brooke poked her spoon into the chocolate fudge on top of the sundae. “The whole family gathers at the ranch, and the food is just amazing. All the traditional stuff, but also some family favorites we don’t have any other time of the year. Grandma spends days making her special dumplings. All the cousins adore them.”

  Did Andrew? When was the last time he’d had his grandmother’s dumplings? When was the last time he’d spent Thanksgiving with his family? Why hadn’t he? It was sad to think he was keeping himself apart from this wonderful family.

  “Speaking of cousins…”

  Brooke’s prompt—so in line with Rachel’s own thoughts—had Rachel’s pulse speeding up as she blinked in panic. “What?”

  But her friend was staring at the counter. “See that guy?” She’d lowered her voice, as if gossiping. “That’s my cousin Georgia’s new boyfriend, Logan.”

  Rachel had to admit the guy was good-looking. And if Brooke’s cousin Georgia had found a new beau—with two other cousins recently settling down with their forevers—then it was easy to see why Brooke might be a little exasperated.

  Her friend was waiting for a response, so Rachel took a big bite of ice cream and hummed appreciatively at Logan’s back.

  Brooke sighed. “At least, she’s introducing him as her boyfriend, but I think there’s something fishy going on. She’s acting a little suspicious, if you ask me, which you haven’t, I know. I’m going to try to find out some more about him at Thanksgiving.”

  But Rachel didn’t have time to appreciate her friend’s wit, or find out why Brooke thought Georgia dating Logan was suspicious, because the doctor turned back to their earlier conversation.

  “How about you?”

  Brooke’s question startled Rachel. “What about me?”

  “What are you up to for the holiday?”

  Oh.

  She relaxed slightly. “My parents are leaving on a cruise two days after Thanksgiving, so I think they’re traveling that Thursday.” Rachel shrugged. “I figured I’d just stay up here.”

  Brooke nodded. “I’ll ask Mom and Dad if you can spend it with the family, if you’d like. There’s already so many of us, they might not notice another person.”

  “Thanks.” Rachel forced a smile. “But I’m okay. I don’t want to intrude.” And it would probably break her heart to be surrounded by Andrew’s family when he wasn’t.

  Her friend put down her spoon and cocked her head. She hummed thoughtfully. “Okay, spill.”

  “What?”

  “I’m your doctor and your friend. I know you pretty well, and I know we’re not eating this deliciously unhealthy junk because of me. You’re feeling sorry for yourself.”

  Rachel took another bite of ice cream, but didn’t deny it.

  “How’s online dating going?”

  Brooke had nailed the reason for Rachel’s sadness, as usual. She swallowed.

  “I met…a guy.” For some reason, it seemed important to keep Andrew’s identity a secret. As if telling his cousin she’d had a date with him would be a betrayal. “We’ve had a great time online, chatting, and last week I went out with him.” She toyed with her spoon, not able to meet Brooke’s eyes. “It was amazing, like really amazing.”

  “And? What’s the problem?”

  Rachel sighed. “I manipulated him into doing something he didn’t want to do, and it backfired. It was… It was bad.”

  She didn’t realize how hard she was bending the plastic spoon until it snapped in half, and the sudden noise jolted her.

  “He’s never going to talk to me again, and…” She swallowed her tears. “I was just trying to help,” she added pitifully.

  “Oh, honey.” Brooke’s hand closed around hers. “I’m so sorry. You don’t have to talk about it, but I know your heart. You have a good heart, and I know if you did something like that, it was with the best of intentions.”

  “He’s never going to want to talk to me again, much less see me.”

  Goodbye, amazing kisses.

  Brooke’s hold on her hand tightened briefly, before she let go. “Just have faith, Rachel. If it was meant to be, he’ll come around. And if not, maybe we can prod him a little. Email him, if nothing else.”

  Her friend’s face was blurry when Rachel looked up. Why? Oh, she was crying. “You think so?” she sniffed.

  Brooke smiled. “I know so. And if he still doesn’t see reason, then it wasn’t as perfect as you thought.”

  Actually, that made sense, in a fatalistic way. Rachel sniffed again, then nodded. In her purse, her cell phone buzzed, and the noise made her come back to herself somehow. She blinked and nodded.

  “I think I need more ice cream,” she said in a watery voice.

  Brooke chuckled and gave her a thumbs up. “I’ll go order another one—small—and get a few more spoons. I think we’re going to need ‘em.”

  She bounced up to head to the counter just as Rachel’s phone buzzed again. With her friend gone, she pulled the phone out and swiped up. When she saw the email notification from Soulmates.com, her heart gave a little lurch.

  No. It can’t be.

  It probably wasn’t, but she hurried to open the email.

  And that’s when she stopped breathing, because it was. It was an email from Andrew, and he wasn’t condemning her.

  Rachel,

  I wasn’t kidding when I said I liked you and could see this—what we’ve got between us—going further. I know you said I had to interview in order to see you again, and I did. Well, I didn’t make it far, and I’m sorry you had to see me like that, but I’d like to think I met the terms of your bargain.

  I interviewed, and you owe me another date.

  No, wait.

  It’s taken me this long to realize the reason I miss you so much is because we have something special. If you’re not willing to see me again after that mess I made of everything, I understand…but I hope you will. I can’t even claim this is because of the bargain, or your end of it.

  This is just me asking: Will you go out with me again?

  I won’t even ask for kisses if you’re not ready for that.

  Yours,

  Andrew

  Rachel’s breath whooshed out of her as she re-read the email again, then she sucked in a frantic gulp and re-read a third time.

  Another date! Another date with Andrew! And he’d said he missed her and thought they had something special!

  And he’d signed it “Yours, Andrew.”

  She pressed her phone to her chest and blinked down at the almost-empty ice cream bowl.
r />   Yours.

  Was he hers? Was she his? And he was letting her decide?

  Surely it was the sugar that was making her feel this jittery, as if she could run ten miles and bounce around The Valley Ice Cream Parlor and sing at the top of her lungs? It was a fierce kind of joy, although “joy” didn’t exactly cover it. It was relief and excitement and joy and terror all rolled into one.

  Brooke was still up at the counter, so Rachel bounced in her seat a little, then took a deep breath and clicked on the button to reply.

  My Andrew,

  Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!

  I’ll come to Riston so you don’t have to come here again.

  I’m so, so sorry for what I did, and I’ll find a way to make it up to you, I swear. Thank you for giving me another chance. We can take things slow, like we were supposed to originally, and see where it goes.

  Yours,

  Rachel

  As she pressed “send,” a calmness came over her. This was a surety, and knowing she’d made the right decision. This was the right move, and she’d be able to show Andrew how wrong she’d been.

  She’d be able to show him how right they were together.

  When Brooke came back to the table with a handful of spoons and a small sundae, Rachel was beaming like a dork.

  “Whoa!” she said as she slipped into her seat. “What changed?”

  Rachel reached for a spoon. “I got an email.”

  Brooke hummed. “Well, tell me about it then.”

  So she did.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Wow, this place really is pretty.” Rachel tightened her grip on Andrew’s hand as she eyed a snow-covered fallen log in the path. “I didn’t think I’m much of an outdoorsy person, but I can see the beauty here.”

  Andrew chuckled, wrapped his arms around her waist, and lifted her up and over the log. “It’s prettier in the springtime.”

  “Really?” There were ice crystals on all the rhododendron branches, making McIver’s Mountain look like something out of a fairy tale. “Actually, I’ll bet it is gorgeous.”

  He shrugged. “I guess I’m not much of an outdoorsman either. There’s a reason the old homestead is sitting empty while I went to work in Riston, you know.”

  Since it was another way in which they were similar, Rachel just sent him a big smile, pleased to be able to enjoy this little bit of nature with him…knowing the warm truck and some hot cocoa were waiting for them!

  It was a beautiful November afternoon; the sun was making the snow sparkle, there were birds chirping at one another somewhere, and nature was just generally doing its thing all around them. She supposed there were names for these plants and that bird song, but for now, it was nice to just experience it, and not have to actually know what was going on.

  For today’s date, she’d asked to see his home, expecting him to take her to River’s End Ranch or something. Instead, they were here at McIver’s Mountain. They’d visited the old family homestead, which his great-grandfather had built and his parents had lived in, and now sat empty. She’d even met his parents briefly, when she and Andrew had stopped by the larger, more modern home he’d been raised in. Libby and Randall McIver seemed nice enough, but Andrew hadn’t let her stick around long enough to do more than say hello, before he’d whisked her off again.

  Judging from the twinkle in his mother’s eyes when she’d looked at their clasped hands, it was probably for the best. Just goes to show; no matter how old a man gets, he can still be teased by his mother.

  The last weeks—and their dates—had been just lovely. Per the agreement, Andrew and Rachel were taking things slowly. The dates and the phone calls had been more about getting to know each other better, and they hadn’t attempted to kiss again.

  It was getting a little difficult to pretend she didn’t want to kiss him again; she wanted to rather desperately. But that one amazing kiss they’d shared had resulted in disaster…at least, her response to it. She’d held future kisses hostage, and had almost lost Andrew as a result.

  So now they were taking things slow, and weren’t kissing, and it made her itchy and jittery because she wanted to be kissing him. But kissing Andrew could be dangerous to his health. Look what ended up happening last time!

  Desperate to distract herself from those thoughts—because the icy beauty of the land around her wasn’t exactly working—she wracked her mind for a question.

  “Tell me something I don’t know about you yet!” she blurted.

  He sent an amused glance her way from under his toque and above his blue woolly muffler. Strolling in nature in Idaho in November was cold! That hot cocoa was sounding better and better.

  “What do you want to know?”

  They moved around a particularly large bush, and she realized he was leading her back down towards where they’d parked the car. Thank goodness.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the point!”

  He hummed. “You’re going to have to give me some kind of idea.” Without giving her a chance, he began rattling off things. “I haven’t finished a book in years, but I really like listening to podcasts instead. My least favorite vegetable is asparagus, and I don’t see why everyone else seems to like it. I started smoking when I was seventeen—”

  She pulled up short. “Whoa, really?”

  “Yep.” He tugged her into motion once more. “I think it’s gross, and it makes my pee smell—”

  “No!” she interrupted, laughing. “Not the asparagus; I think it’s gross too. I meant about the smoking!”

  Shrugging, he nodded. “Well, my father smoked when I was a kid, and I just copied him. Mom sat us both down when I was in my early twenties and read us the riot act.”

  “So you quit?”

  “We both switched to chewing tobacco, but I quit that a few years later. So now I’m a compulsive gum-chewer, or I snack on sunflower seeds or something. I know it’s not the healthiest habit, but it’s better than the alternative.”

  Wow.

  She hadn’t expected that. Humming thoughtfully, she followed him down the path. “That’s pretty good. I didn’t know that about you. What else you got?”

  “You’re pretty demanding, huh?” he teased. “Okay… When I was in the fourth grade, I went as Davy Crockett for Halloween, and it was my favorite costume ever. I once smashed my kid brother’s thumb with a hammer when I was trying to teach him how to fix his wagon. What else…?”

  Chuckling, she tried to imagine Dusty—whom she’d once dated, along with half the female population of Quinn Valley—as a child. “How old was he? How old were you?”

  “I’m ten years older—no, eleven. He and Alyssa are twins, and Katie’s a few years older than them. So anyhow, I would’ve been like thirteen or so, and had just gotten really interested in building and fixing stuff with my grandpa.”

  Rachel remembered Brooke telling her how close the Quinn cousins were to their grandparents. Did Andrew miss them? She squeezed his hand briefly. “And you thought you were fixing his wagon?”

  “I was fixing his wagon. He was the one who wanted to help, so I showed him how to hold the bent pin, and he moved his thumb at the last second. He screamed like he was having his arm cut off or something.”

  She chuckled with him, and then again in relief, when she realized how close they were to where they’d parked Andrew’s truck.

  “That’s a pretty good story.”

  “How about you? Any embarrassing childhood memories?”

  She grinned. “Nope, I was perfect.” He already knew she was an only child. “My parents were really young when they had me, so we were kind of Three Musketeery, if that makes sense. We did everything together, and they didn’t put pressure on me to be something I’m not. Once I went away to college, they began to travel all over the world. Lucky for them they had a kid in the hotel industry who could offer discounts on stays!”

  “That is lucky.” He helped her over another fallen log. “You don’t get jealous that
they’re off having adventures and you’re stuck in Idaho?”

  “No way!” she chuckled. “I’ve traveled, and it’s alright, but I’m a homebody. Once I’m comfortable in a place, I really don’t want to leave, and I’m really comfortable in Quinn Valley. It’s warm and welcoming and the people—”

  She bit off her praise for his family’s town.

  Open mouth, insert foot, you dork.

  In the days since that disastrous interview—since his last visit to Quinn Valley—she’d made a point to steer clear of mentioning his home or family, and definitely didn’t suggest he come back. Instead, she’d been happy to come to Riston and visit his favorite haunts, like his family’s mountain. Not just happy, but grateful to be able to have another chance with him.

  She had to change the subject and fast. What else could she ask him?

  “Umm—any tattoos?” It was a trick she’d learned years ago; people with tattoos liked to talk about them, and people without tattoos usually didn’t mind sharing their opinions about people with tattoos. As someone without any, she could join in the conversation either way.

  He shot her a funny look, as if not sure what to make of the change in conversation. Then he shrugged and stopped walking.

  “Two,” he said, inhaling deeply in the cold mountain air. “Here.” He lifted his left arm—still holding her hand—and tapped a gloved finger to the inside of his left forearm. “They’re small, but important.”

  She nodded. “That’s why you put them there.”

  When he raised a brow in question at her, she hurried to explain.

  “I mean, if something’s important to you personally, you put it where you can see it. If it was important that everyone else see it, you would’ve put the tattoo on your bicep or something. See?”

  “Hmm. You’re pretty smart, you know that?”

  She shrugged modestly. “I just like noticing how people think. I’m right, aren’t I? They’re important to you.”

  His eyes took on a faraway look as he stared down at the arm of his coat. “Yeah,” he said softly. “They’re just words, nothing fancy. Sean’s name and his birthday, and Sophie’s.”