Fixing Forever
Page 11
I love I love I love.
The refrain echoed in Rachel’s mind, and she felt her chest fill with something light and fluffy.
He dropped one kiss on her nose. “I love you, Rachel Chakrabarti. I’ve waited a long time for someone like you to come into my life, and now that I’ve found you, I’m not letting you go.”
“You love me,” she breathed, still not sure she believed it. “You love me?”
He frowned slightly. “Why are you repeating it? Is it so hard to believe?”
“You love me…” Her eyes widened in wonder. “Even though you haven’t kissed me?”
“Me?” He straightened fully, frowning down at her in earnest now. “You’re the one who hasn’t kissed me!”
She shook her head. “No, no, I was leaving it up to you! I negotiated before, and it was stupid, so I was leaving it up to you to decide—”
He burst into laughter, and shook his head in time with hers.
“No,” he was finally able to say in between chuckles. “I figured you should be the one who—”
Oh, this is ridiculous!
She snaked her hands around his waist and pulled him flush against her. Raising herself on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips against his, and he shut up.
He shut up for a good long time.
Their second kiss was just as glorious as their first. More so even, because in the time since that first kiss, she’d seen the darkest part of his soul, had held him as he’d cried. He’d given her strength she hadn’t known she’d possessed, and taught her the true meaning of love.
So yeah, this kiss is even better.
Their third kiss was pretty good too. And the fourth.
It seemed like ages before they pulled apart, each breathing heavily. Her cheeks were rubbed raw from his beard, but she doubted anyone could tell, because of her darker skin. She still tasted his chewing-gum minty flavor, and breathed the same air from his lungs.
Andrew rested his forehead against hers, exhaling deeply. His eyes were closed, and for the first time since that disastrous interview, she sensed real peace within him.
“I love you, Rachel,” he whispered.
Her arms were around his neck, so she stroked the back of his head. “And I love you, Andrew McIver.”
He straightened away from her, and she hated it. But only so far as it took to look down into her eyes.
“Really?”
She smiled. “Really. I’ve been falling in love with you for—well, for a while. I love you are brave enough to face your demons, but are strong enough to not need to. I love how much you cherish your family, and I love that your only tattoos are your niece and nephew’s names, because that’s what’s important. I love that you chew gum instead of tobacco, and you like me enough to share what you learn from podcasts and listen to my opinion. I love that you care about me.”
Dorkiest confession of love ever?
But she just smiled and told her subconscious to quiet down, because every word was true.
Andrew’s green eyes had widened. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?”
She nodded slowly. “I really think we are.”
Their fifth kiss was the best yet.
“Thank you for coming. I’ve asked Bob to say grace.”
Gramps was finishing up his welcome speech to the gathered clan—plus visitors—but Andrew had tuned out most of it.
Instead, he’d stood at the back of the room, his arm around Rachel, and counted his blessings. It had been years since he’d been around this many Quinns, but they’d welcomed him as if no time had passed at all. It had still been awkward for him, knowing it was his own fault he’d stayed away so long, and knowing if he’d just confronted his uncle earlier, years of estrangement could’ve been avoided.
But if he’d done that, he wouldn’t have met Rachel. Oh, maybe he would’ve met her—they were both on the same dating site, and she worked for his uncle, after all—and maybe sparks would’ve flown. But without the interview to hold over his head, without the incentive of getting him to reconcile with his uncle, would he now be standing here with her in his arms?
He blew out a breath and, as his mother used to say, gave his worries to God. What was done was in the past, and he could only look to the future.
Towards forever.
That’s what Gramps had said earlier in their private meeting. He hadn’t asked for all the details of Andrew’s separation from the family, and hadn’t asked why Heather was still not at Quinn Valley Ranch that day, but he’d taken Andrew’s hand and spoken about the future. He’d told his grandson that family was all about fixing and forgiving and moving on, because family is forever.
Family is forever.
Andrew had heard his uncle’s words in the back of his head then: Marriage is forever. Heather’s marriage hadn’t been, and it shouldn’t have been, but Gramps didn’t seem to judge her. No, all he’d said was “Family is forever” and he’d hugged Andrew. They’d talked about simple things after that; fixes Gramps had planned to the homestead, the drain in the kitchen sink which was still giving him trouble, and the headache of managing River’s End Ranch.
“You know, son,” Gramps had said with a sly twinkle in his eye, “The Quinn Hotel sounds a sight easier to handle, when it comes to being chief engineer.”
And he was right. Somewhere in the last few days, between forgiving Uncle Bob and sitting there holding his grandfather’s hand, Andrew had realized the truth: As much as he loved River’s End Ranch, and as proud as he was of all he’d accomplished there, he was ready for a new challenge.
Someplace without goats.
Bob and his family were running a top-notch hotel, and he was in desperate need of a chief. Andrew had all the right experience and could ask for a comparable paycheck. Besides, Bob was family.
And family is forever.
He tightened his hold on Rachel and felt his heart smile as she lay her head on his shoulder. He couldn’t wait to get her alone again. Not just for the kissing—although that was nice—but to tell her what he’d decided.
Bob stepped up to the spot his father had vacated, and around him, Andrew’s family members bowed their heads in prayer. But Andrew kept his gaze on his uncle.
“Dear Heavenly Father, we come before you today with humble hearts and open minds, ready to bask in the blessings you’ve bestowed upon each and every one of us. We’ve each had our struggles, but here, surrounded by our family and Your love, we can focus on what we have to be thankful for.”
Bob looked up, and despite the multitude of people between them, he met Andrew’s eyes. His voice became a little rougher as he held his nephew’s gaze and continued, “We are grateful for each other, and for the forgiveness You offer each of us. You see the truth of our hearts, and You love us, and we’re grateful.”
Andrew’s throat got a little tight as he understood what his uncle was saying. Andrew was grateful for forgiveness and family and love—God’s and human. He nodded to Bob, and his uncle inclined his head slightly and finished the blessing.
“Dear Heavenly Father, we ask you to bless this food, and the hard-working hands who prepared it. In Jesus’s name, Amen.”
The murmured chorus of “Amens” faded into laughter as the entire clan sprung into action, grabbing plates and elbowing for space at the buffet. Andrew was content to hold Rachel until the crowd subsided.
Later, they found spots at a table set up in the living room, with his parents and siblings. Sitting in their ancestral homestead, surrounded by his family, he really missed Heather. She should be here, her kids should be sitting beside little Jeremiah, although he was so much younger. She should be offering advice to Alyssa, as they swapped stories about raising the next generation of McIvers.
He chuckled ruefully at himself, then dug into his mashed potatoes. It had only been a few days since he’d reconciled with the family himself. He had to give her time too.
Beside him, Rachel was chatting with Katie, who could manage to be excited abou
t almost everything in the world.
“I’m so glad you’re a part of this craziness now too, Rachel!” she was saying.
Rachel just shrugged shyly. “You barely know me. But I am grateful to be here with you.”
Alyssa leaned around her son, who was eating only a biscuit and raw carrots from the veggie platter. “We know you love our brother, and that’s good enough.”
His brows rising, Andrew looked up to meet his little brother’s teasing grin. They could tell Rachel loved him? Could they tell he loved her?
Love was weird.
“Yeah,” Dusty said, without dropping Andrew’s gaze, “But are you sure?” Before Andrew could ask what he meant, Dusty blinked and turned his forty-watt perfect smile on Rachel. “I mean, are you sure you’re in love with the right brother?”
But Rachel just scoffed and waved her hand at Dusty. “You’ve managed to make half the population of Quinn Valley fall in love with you. I’m not one of your conquests.”
“Only the female half,” he said seriously.
The rest of the table burst into laughter at his wild claim, and Rachel joined in. Even Andrew chuckled, although he knew his brother didn’t want all those women in love with him. No, Dusty was the opposite of his older brother; he wasn’t looking for love or commitment, and definitely wasn’t looking for forever.
Andrew, on the other hand…
He smiled at Rachel, and took her hand under the table. When he met her eyes, he gave her fingers a little squeeze, and loved the way her smile bloomed.
“I love you,” he said.
She flushed slightly and lowered her eyes for a moment. But then, without once looking around at their audience, she whispered, “I love you too.”
And then, surrounded by the love and support of his family—although Dusty was making catcalls—he leaned in and kissed her.
Uncle Bob was right. He did have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving.
EPILOGUE
“Got any fours?”
“Nope, sorry.” Andrew pressed his lips together to hide his smile. “Go fish.”
“Awesome!” Sophie lunged across the table towards the pile of cards, and the pile of candy beside it.
Years ago they’d started a Christmas Eve tradition of pairing a particular type of candy with each game they played, and this one was Sophie’s favorite, because of the little red “penalty” sweets. Rachel’s too, it seemed.
Beside him, his love groaned. “I love Swedish Fish! I can’t believe I haven’t gotten any yet.”
“You’re just lucky I guess,” Sean said from across the table, his attention on his hand. “You’ve been winning since the beginning.”
“Yeah.” Heather winked at Rachel. “Are you cheating?”
Rachel’s eyes widened innocently. “If I say yes, can I get a bunch of penalty fish?”
Sophie stuck her tongue out—it was bright red—and her family laughed. Rachel too, which was fitting, because she was part of this little family now.
The game continued fast and furious—Rachel did eventually get some Swedish Fish—and Sean ended up winning. Sophie jumped up from the table.
“I’ll get the hot chocolate!”
Heather shook her head. “I thought we were doing dominoes next?”
“Hot chocolate first, then dominoes,” Sean corrected in his serious manner. “Dominoes’ forfeit is peppermints, and those go really great with the chocolate. It’s tradition.”
Heather reached over to fluff her son’s hair, and he ducked out of the way with a good-natured grimace. Andrew smiled at both of them.
“Come on, sweetie-poo,” she teased the boy. “You can help me get it ready.”
Sophie frowned at them. “You can’t leave me in here with Unca Andrew.” She lowered her voice to a stage whisper and jerked her thumb. “He’s probably going to kiss Rachel.”
Andrew choked on his laughter and pretended great interest in shuffling the discarded pile of cards.
“There’s nothing wrong with kissing,” Sean informed his sister.
She put her hand on her hip in entirely too-sassy a manner. “Not when it’s Kayla you’re thinking about kissing huh?”
Sean blushed. “I’m not thinking about kissing Kayla,” he mumbled.
Andrew’s brows went up as he met his sister’s bemused gaze. Just who was Sean thinking about kissing, then?
Heather blew out an exasperated breath before her kids could bicker further. “If you don’t leave your uncle alone to do whatever he feels like doing with his girlfriend, then Santa won’t visit tonight.”
It was almost funny the way her kids both rolled their eyes and said in unison, “Moooom!” But they followed her into the kitchen without complaint. Of course, Sophie tried to elbow her brother as they rounded the corner, and Sean grabbed her in a headlock which had her squealing, but that was a typical Christmas Eve around these parts.
Chuckling, he turned back to Rachel, and was surprised to see her staring at him in a sort of wide-eyed breathlessness.
“What?” he asked, suddenly wondering if he’d grown an extra head.
When she glanced down and smiled in that almost-embarrassed way she had, his heart softened. She shrugged.
“I was just wondering if you were planning on kissing me.”
He laughed and, grabbing her by her hand, pulled her to her feet. “I’ve got bigger plans.”
She didn’t have time to respond before he’d tugged her towards the foyer. For the first time ever, this year Andrew had installed mistletoe in the foyer of his home…for just such an occasion.
He settled her under the mistletoe, her arms around his neck, and smiled down at her. She blinked innocently up at him.
“Well, Mr. Chief Engineer? Are you just going to stand there? I thought you were the type who, when he saw a problem, rushed to fix it?”
They’d been working together for almost a full month, and he loved it. Of course, he didn’t have to report directly to her, which was a bit of a relief, but it was fun to sit in the daily meetings with her and Bob and make jokes and suggestions, and solve problems. Things had started off rocky between him and Bob—years of bitterness wasn’t easy to forget—but Andrew had pushed through the awkwardness with a stubbornness Rachel had said she’d loved, and each day his relationship with his uncle had gotten better.
And it was all thanks to the woman in his arms.
“What problem?” he asked, pretending not to understand. “What needs fixing?”
She blew a strand of hair out of her face. “I’m standing under the mistletoe with the man I love and he hasn’t kissed me yet is the problem.”
“Hm.” Andrew frowned and pretended to consider the problem. “That is serious.”
“Yeah. Soooo?”
“Well, you see, I’m thinking about something besides kissing.” She was so much fun to tease.
“Under the mistletoe? On Christmas Eve? When you know I have to go down to Boise tomorrow to see my parents? What could you possibly be thinking about besides kissing?”
He had to admit, it was becoming increasingly harder not to think about kissing her. But he had plans.
Pulling her arms from around his neck, Andrew stepped back and took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about—” Ugh, he lost his nerve. “About your present,” he finished weakly.
“My—my present?” she blinked in confusion.
No no no.
This isn’t what he’d planned. But then, she was going to be with her parents tomorrow, so now was a good time to show her what he’d done.
“I guess it’s not really your present.” He’d also bought her a pretty silk scarf and— Well, and something even better. “But kinda.”
Before he lost his nerve, Andrew shoved up the sleeve of his gray shirt, all the way to his elbow, and held his forearm out for her inspection.
There was Sophie and Sean’s tattoos, their names and birth dates in the simple font he’d picked out all those years ago.
> And beside them was her name. Just her first name, no hearts, no flowers, no embellishments. That’s who he was, and he hoped she could see why that was important.
Her hand shook a bit as she reached out and traced the simple block letters. And as always, the warmth from her touch filled him, body and soul.
“That’s— You got my name…”
Her whisper faded away as she looked up and met his eyes. And he could see that she understood.
“You once told me my niece and nephew were the most important things in my life, and that’s why I had their names tattooed.” Taking her hand, he placed it over his forearm once more. “But I’m adding you to the list.”
Her eyes were still wide. “I don’t know what to say. It’s beautiful.” Then the mood was broken when she snorted and shook her head. “Way to make my gift to you look really stupid!”
He chuckled a little bit and suddenly had the guts to do what he’d chickened out on earlier.
“Earlier, you asked what I was thinking about.” He took a deep breath, holding it. “I wasn’t just thinking about your present. I was thinking about…well, about forever.”
Her eyes widened, as if she understood the gravity of the situation. “Forever?” she repeated in a whisper.
“Yeah. See, my grandfather told me that family is forever, and I want that. With you, I mean.” He swallowed. “I love you, and you’re a part of my family now. I want you to be…” He dropped her hands and fumbled for one of the pockets in his ubiquitous black cargo pants.
Clearing his throat, he held up the tiny jeweler’s box. “I want you to be part of my forever.”
Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears as he opened the lid, revealing a simple diamond ring. She sucked in a gasp and reached for the box.
Not sure what to do with his hands now, and terrified because she hadn’t answered him yet, Andrew ran his hand over his hair. “I know it hasn’t been that long, and I’ll understand if you want to wait longer. But I wanted to...to ask you here and now. And we can take our time and plan a wedding if you want, it can be a while from now, if you want, I just thought—”