The Beauty of You

by Jennifer Wenn

  As if he had been waiting for this, he jumped from the bed and strode to her, stopping only a breath away. “Are you jealous of her beauty and talent?”

  “What?” Charmaine frowned, still caught in her thoughts regarding Miss Overton’s torture of their ears, not really listening to him. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

  Sin used her confusion, leaning closer to her until she only needed to go up on tiptoes to put her lips against his. But this time she didn’t want to. He had destroyed the little confidence she had managed to gather, and now she didn’t dare try to kiss him again.

  “Are you jealous of Miss Overton?” he repeated hoarsely and leaned even closer to her, forcing her to decide to either move backwards to get away from him or stand still and wait for his lips to touch hers.

  When she moved away from him, a wry smile played over his full lips and he straightened his clothes, moving toward the door. “I think I’ll leave you be. The lovely Miss Overton told me she wouldn’t mind taking a little stroll down the terrace, and what kind of gentleman am I if I don’t oblige her wish?”

  His open attempt to make her jealous made her uneasy. She didn’t want this tension between them, not when nothing of it was true. She couldn’t have him walk away from her believing she was a loose woman, believing she wasn’t what she was supposed to be.

  But wasn’t that the problem from the beginning? That he couldn’t face the fact that underneath her shiny exterior was only a young, lonely girl who wanted nothing more than to belong to someone?

  Could this be a blessing in disguise? Maybe his disdainful thoughts about her were just what she needed for him to leave her alone, to give her space enough to be able to look out for her sister.

  She shook her head mentally. No, it wasn’t.

  How could she live knowing he believed her capable of doing something as vile as giving herself to others and then shamelessly luring him into marrying her? Everyone kept telling her he was the most levelheaded of men, but she had seen nothing of that. Instead he seemed driven by his emotions, just as he had when triumphantly declaring his intention to flirt with another woman.

  She closed her eyes, envisioning him with Annabelle Overton in his arms, and the terror she felt made it clear to her—she couldn’t let him leave her without at least trying one last time to reach him.

  “Sin!”

  He stopped with his hand on the door handle, looking at her expectantly over his shoulder as if he had only waited for her to stop him.

  “Yes?”

  She took a step toward him, wanting desperately to make him hate her less, but she didn’t know what to say. She hadn’t a clue where to start, and in the end she just shook her head.

  “No, nothing. I’m sorry.”

  He stood still for the longest of moments, frowning at her as if her lack of backbone disappointed him. In the end, he left the room without uttering another syllable, leaving her to go and flirt with Annabelle Overton on the terrace.

  She staggered back until she reached the bed, dozens of erratic thoughts twirling inside her head as she sat down. How would she ever be able to live through this visit? Not only was she supposed to share this small room, and its small bed, with her estranged husband, but she would also have to watch him carry on with other women, all because he believed her guilty of infidelity and wanted to hurt her back.

  An eye for an eye.

  She hid her face in the pillow he had just left. She couldn’t stand this much longer. This emotional stress was eating her up.

  She needed to be alert, to have a clear mind, in case her stepfather tried something. But all the commotion with Sin was taking too much of her energy and attention. She simply couldn’t keep her head straight when it came to him.

  For someone who wasn’t in love with her husband, she definitely acted as if she were. So maybe he meant more to her than she had known? Maybe he was the man her heart had wanted all along, but she had been too caught up in the circus known as the Season to recognize the feeling?

  She didn’t know, and now she was too tired to figure it out. There was only one thing she was certain of, and that was that he was hers for life. He couldn’t leave her and marry someone else like Lord Dane had done.

  Sinclair Darling was her husband whether he liked it or not, and nothing he said or did could change that.

  Chapter Six

  “There it is, Gretna Green.”

  Penelope yelled, unladylike, hanging out through the window of the carriage, and Sin sighed deeply in gratitude. “Finally! I thought we would never get here.”

  “Oh come on, Sin, this trip hasn’t been so bad, now, has it?”

  Charmaine bit back a smile as he stared openmouthed at Penelope, clearly unable to grasp how she could say something so ridiculous.

  “Not so bad?” If he hadn’t been inside a moving vehicle Sin would probably have started to pace in despair. “We have endured one broken wheel, three snowstorms, and too many cold inns for me to count. And you have the nerve to say this trip wasn’t bad?”

  Penelope sat back on her seat, giving him a look that said just how ridiculous she found him. “I didn’t force you to come with us, did I? Charmaine and I could have travelled alone, as I had planned from the beginning. But no, you just couldn’t let Charmaine leave you, could you?”

  “As I said, I don’t trust her to act as your chaperone. If anything happened, she would have seen to her own protection first, not caring about yours at all. And I do care too much about you to leave you in the wind like that.”

  Not a word of caring about her, Charmaine noticed sadly. The man couldn’t have made his indifference toward her more obvious. It was Penelope’s safety he thought of, not his wife’s. As far as she knew, he probably would have rejoiced if something happened to her. Then he would be able to marry the horrible Annabelle Overton instead, and raise a whole bunch of tone-deaf children.

  “You are despicable,” Penelope scoffed. “How can you say such a thing about your wife? You are supposed to honor and cherish her, not stab her in the back verbally.”

  “I’m despicable?” Sin leaned forward, waving his index finger toward his sister-in-law. “If you knew what your precious sister has done…”

  “I do know!” Penelope grabbed his finger.

  “You know?” Sin slumped back into the seat, and Penelope released his finger.

  “I do. She tricked you into marrying her and now you are upset over it, lashing out continuously at her. But you have to get over it, Sin, or at least try to be civil.”

  “You know how she fooled me, and yet you still defend her?”

  “Her actions? No, I don’t. But her person? Yes. She is my sister and I know her. She would never have done something like that with no reason.”

  Sin snorted angrily. “Try to make her tell you why, if you like. You won’t succeed, I promise you. She’s like a clam; she does not open up in the least.”

  Both turned to look expectantly at Charmaine, who wanted nothing more than to sink into the comfortable cushion behind her and disappear. This trip had been hell for her, confined inside the carriage with Sin, unable to avoid his dark, probing eyes.

  Thank God Penelope had been chatting constantly since they left Pendragon and Herefordshire behind. Otherwise she would never have been able to endure having him so near for such a long time. Every time she looked his way she met his eyes, as he pinned her with his unreadable gaze. As if the carriage wasn’t feeling too compact already…

  “You can talk to us.” Penelope put a supportive hand on Charmaine’s knee. “We are here for you and want to share what troubles you. Something is slowly eating you up, and I…we need to know what it is so we can help you. Please, Charmaine…”

  The honest compassion in Penelope’s eyes made the lump in Charmaine’s throat grow again. Could she share with them? Could she tell them the whole truth and not be judged by them?

  No.

  The answer was short and simple. No, she couldn’t. Penelope�
�s life had already been turned upside down because of their stepfather’s sick infatuation with Charmaine, and now, when her younger sister was so close to getting out of his reach, she couldn’t tell the truth.

  And Sin…

  Somehow she knew she could tell him anything and any normal day he would have backed her up against Lord Nester, making sure she would be forever free of him. But not now, not while his thoughts and actions were ruled by his current unstable anger. How would he ever be able to sort through his hatred toward her long enough to be able to help her?

  No, she was alone in this, and soon it would be over. Soon she would be able to live her life again, and she could only hope she hadn’t destroyed things too much between her and Sin.

  Maybe he still could care for her a little in the future and perhaps love her a bit. Maybe…

  “There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m perfectly fine,” she finally chirped as icily as she could, and Sin snorted in response.

  “A clam!” he snarled to Penelope. “A bloody clam. She will never oblige you, or me for that matter, with the truth. She would rather die than enlighten us with what really goes on beneath that glorious blonde hair.”

  As the carriage stopped, Penelope gave her sister one last probing glance, which told Charmaine this discussion wasn’t over. It would continue another time and in another place, and without Sin’s hateful presence.

  “Do you think Rake’s here?” she asked to change the subject, and Penelope lightened up.

  “You think he arrived before us?”

  “Of course he hasn’t.” Sin rolled his eyes. “Even if he arrived at Pendragon the same day we left he wouldn’t have followed us immediately.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Francesca won’t blurt it out as soon as he arrives. No, she will wait until he is comfortable and unprepared, and then she will spring it upon him. And I know he won’t go running here immediately for you, not without thinking it all through properly. You have made it quite clear to him that if he comes here it is for forever, and he’s got quite the decision to make.”

  Charmaine couldn’t keep her tongue. “What decision? He loves her with all his heart, so what is it he needs to think about?”

  Sin looked deep into her eyes as he answered, “He needs to decide if she’s worth it.”

  “Of course she’s worth it!”

  Before Sin had a chance to snap back, Penelope’s sad little voice interrupted. “He’s right, Charmaine. Rake wouldn’t come here without being sure this is what he wants. It might only take him a few hours or it could take a couple of days, I don’t know. What I do know is that he won’t come after me if he’s not sure I am what he really, really wants. All I can pray for is that I haven’t destroyed our future together with my behavior.”

  Sin’s tender smile as he watched Penelope sent daggers into Charmaine’s heart. If he would look upon her like he looked at her sister she knew she wouldn’t ask for more. That was all she wanted—a smile filled with love and trust.

  “Don’t you fret about this now,” he said softly to her sister. “We can stay for a couple of weeks, if needed, so please don’t be stressed over this. Let’s find somewhere to stay for a while, and then let’s keep our hopes up. I know he will come, Penny. I just don’t know how long it will take for him to make that decision.”

  “Thank you,” Penelope cried out, throwing herself into his waiting arms. Charmaine had to look out through the window, pretending an interest in the dark building at which they had stopped, to avoid letting them see how envious she was of their closeness.

  “Just one little thing,” Sin said as he loosened his hold of Penelope. “Do you think he will understand the message? You did, after all, just inform him you were going to Gretna Green.”

  “He will. He once told me that if I ever eloped here, he wanted me to let him know so he could stop me beforehand. He knows what he said to me.”

  “Then let us get out of this infernal carriage and into the inn. Maybe they’ll have some hot tea to warm us up,” Sin said as he jumped out the opened door and then helped Penelope down. When Charmaine moved closer to the doorway, he looked at her darkly before turning his back to her.

  The driver helped her down, and she followed her travel companions through the muddy snow into the warm inn. The sturdy innkeeper took one look at their shivering and immediately ushered them to a table next to the roaring fire, where he had a servant bring them hot tea and soup.

  “Ah, that was exactly what I needed.” Penelope yawned. “Now a soft bed would be the perfect ending to this long day.”

  “Of course,” Sin said and beckoned the innkeeper to join them. In a moment they had been handed a key to a small suite, theirs to use for as long as they needed. It was a nice suite, with a salon between a smaller bedroom on one side and a larger one on the other.

  “You two can have the large bedroom,” Sin said as the servants brought up their luggage. “I’ll do fine in the smaller one.”

  Charmaine bent her head, not knowing if she should feel grateful or humiliated over his stubborn refusal to share a bed with her. They had spent a couple of weeks at Pendragon, and she had slept alone in the small bedroom they had been given. She didn’t know where he spent his nights, but she had no trouble imagining where.

  “Of course not,” Penelope scoffed. “You two must be so tired of me constantly being around, and so I will take the smaller bedroom and let you have the larger one for yourselves.”

  “Really, there is no need for you to insist.” Sin’s voice was icy. “You would be doing us a favor if you shared the bedroom with your sister.”

  Charmaine pressed her nails into her palms in an effort to stop herself from starting to sob hysterically. Could he want her any less? His constant refusal to be near her hurt more than she had thought possible. She wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her two companions as possible.

  “That’s enough, Sin,” Penelope said harshly. “I’m not going to separate the two of you, so stop insulting my sister, please. You can put that bag in the smaller bedroom and the rest in the larger.”

  The last was directed to the driver, who couldn’t hide a small smile as he did as asked. As soon as her things were inside the small room, Penelope went through the door and slammed it shut behind her, leaving Sin and Charmaine alone in the salon. Awkwardly they stared through the doorway at the large bed they were supposed to share.

  “Don’t think this changes anything.”

  She straightened her back and forced her ice-queen face on before turning to face him. “Why don’t you talk to the innkeeper and see if he has another room available.”

  “No use. He made it quite clear this is the high season for Gretna Green, as the winter always makes too many couples eager to get married. Can’t understand what makes them eager. I find marriage quite the drag.”

  “Maybe another inn?”

  “And leave you alone? No way.”

  She felt herself warm up to him. Was he only looking out for her? “It would be the best solution, if there was a possibility.”

  He moved toward her, and she took a few steps back, until she bumped into the door leading out to the hallway. “Don’t think I will let you live by yourself, free to share your bed with anyone you chose.”

  “W-what?” She stared up into his angry face without understanding what he was talking about. Free to share her bed? With whom?

  “I will not let you have lovers sneak into your bed, leaving me with the possibility of you giving me a bastard I will be forced to call my own.”

  When she understood what he meant, the air went out of her, and she grabbed the door handle behind her back, thankful for it being there, as she would have fallen to the floor otherwise.

  There seemed to be no end to his low opinion of her. She thought she had made it clear to him that she hadn’t had any lovers, and that she still remained the virgin she was supposed to be. But it appeared she hadn’t. He still thought of her as a
whore, luring him into marriage because no one else was stupid enough to become her husband.

  She forced her tears back as far as she could. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry in front of him, of letting him know how much he hurt her with his cold words and his contempt.

  “It’s late, so why don’t you go and get ready for the night. And don’t you put on some thin chemise to try to seduce me, because I’m too tired for you tonight. Tomorrow I might feel differently, though, and I’ll let you know.”

  “As you wish.” Somehow she managed to sound almost normal and uncaring, and without looking at him she walked slowly into the bedroom, silently closing the door behind her.

  How could he think such low thoughts of her? She had never even been kissed before that day in the Pendragon courtyard, thanks to the jealous guarding by her stepfather. She was more pristine than a nun, and yet he thought the complete opposite of her.

  She looked at the bed, trying to imagine sharing it with him, and she quivered with expectation mixed with fright. The thought of having his large body lying beside hers made her feel small and exposed.

  Lord Nester had taken every opportunity to whisper to her exactly what he wanted to do to her, and the thought of Sin doing those things scared her. She didn’t know what exactly happened between a normal man and woman in bed; all she knew was what that insane man had mumbled in her ear.

  But Sin wasn’t Lord Nester.

  Sin wasn’t evil. He was just a good man who’d had the carpet ripped away from under his feet and now was desperately trying to learn how to walk without it. She knew she wasn’t helping him along with her refusal to tell him what troubled her, but that shouldn’t render her all the insults and humiliation from him.

  She rang for a maid and had her help her unpack and undress. Then she dismissed the girl and climbed into the bed to breathlessly await Sin. She could hear him moving around in the salon, and every time his steps brought him closer to the bedroom she held her breath.